


All The King's Men

by scatteringmyashes



Series: Picking Up The Pieces [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - MMORPG, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Byleth, Emotional Roller Coaster, Fluff, Gen, Gender-Neutral My Unit | Byleth, M/M, MMORPGs, Mental Health Issues, Online Friendship, Plot Twists, Slow Burn, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Trans Felix Fraldarius, Trans Male Character, trans byleth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 01:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 102,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20480501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatteringmyashes/pseuds/scatteringmyashes
Summary: [worldchat] Byleth: looking for a guild. lvl 50 dps, sword/faith/reason.[theboarprince has sent you a private message!][The_Empress has sent you a private message!][Claude has sent you a private message!]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Major spoilers for the game. Puns. General idiocy. Buckle up, folks, it's gonna be a wild ride.

_[worldchat] Byleth: looking for a guild. lvl 50 dps, sword/faith/reason._

_[theboarprince has sent you a private message!]_

_[The_Empress has sent you a private message!!]_

_[Claude has sent you a private message!!]_

Click.

_[Conversation with theboarprince]_

_[whisper] theboarprince: the blue lions are actively recruiting new members. serious members only. 500 gold entry. two raids per week min._

_[whisper] theboarprince: we’ve won the battle of the eagle and lion last three years._

_[End of conversation with theboarprince]_

Click.

_[Conversation with The_Empress]_

_[whisper] The_Empress: The Black Eagles are the oldest clan on the Fódlan server. 500 gold entry, two raids a week._

_[whisper] The_Empress: We could use more magic._

_[End of conversation with The_Empress]_

Click.

_[Conversation with Claude]_

_[whisper] Claude: Hey, wanna join the Golden Deer?_

_[whisper] Claude: Usually 500 gold entry but for you I’ll make it 250._

_[End of conversation with Claude]_

A moment of hesitation hits Byleth as three invitations all pop up on their screen. Before they can click on anything, their eyes glance at their other monitor where they’ve looked up all the guilds in the server. The Blue Lions, the Black Eagles, and the Golden Deer are the top three in that order, but they can see that the three regularly change places.

_[knightedfreya has sent you a private message!]_

According to knightedfreya’s profile, they’re one of the top members of the Blue Lions.

Click.

_[Conversation with knightedfreya]_

_[whisper] knightedfreya: Hey, I know theboarprince can be a bit blunt so I just wanted to let you know that the Blue Lions would be honored to have a new member._

_[whisper] knightedfreya: We also really need a mage and I can probably convince theboarprince to drop the entry fee._

_[End of conversation with knightedfreya]_

Byleth glances at their inventory. They have enough gold to join any of the guilds, but they certainly don’t have a lot of it. They aren’t sure how difficult it will be to get more gold in the future, but for now they decide they shouldn’t spend more than they have to.

_[Accept theboarprince’s invitation?]_

_[Confirm joining [The Blue Lions]? This will prevent you from joining other guilds or creating your own.]_

_[Yes.]_

#

_[guild] yumyum: Has anyone heard from Sylvain recently? o.0_

_[guild] ladyofmercy: I hope he’s okay…._

_[guild] lucky_strike: His last account got banned. He’s grinding his new one._

_[guild] knightedfreya: Again?!?!?!?! _

_[guild] ashetreearrows: Isn’t this his second account?_

_[guild] lucky_strike: Yeah, he’s on his third._

_[guild] theboarprince: what did he get banned for this time._

_[guild] lucky_strike: Guess. The first two don’t count._

_[guild] knightedfreya: Felix, tell Sylvain if he doesn’t get his act together I will IP ban him myself._

_[guild] ladyofmercy: Shouldn’t we give him another chance? Maybe he’ll learn this time… _

_[guild] ofduscur: Or perhaps the sun will rise from the north._

_[Byleth has joined the guild!]_

_[guild] Auto_Mod: Welcome to [The Blue Lions]! Current members [10]. Average level [43]. Guild leader [theboarprince]. Guild treasurer [knightedfreya]. Guild timezone set [Central Fódlan Time]. Next raid [Tuesday, 18:30 CFT]. _

_[guild] yumyum: Hello!!! New person!!! :0_

_[guild] ashetreearrows: Hello!_

_[guild] ladyofmercy: Hello, Byleth! It is nice to meet you. Welcome to the Blue Lions. _

_[guild] ladyofmercy: What pronouns do you use?_

_[guild] lucky_strike: Hey._

_[guild] ofduscur: Hello, Byleth._

_[guild] knightedfreya: Everyone, please welcome Byleth. They are the newest member of our guild!_

_[guild] knightedfreya: We usually have another member, but apparently his last account got banned so he has to create a new one._

_[guild] knightedfreya: But don’t worry, the rest of us are very serious and don’t fool around. Raids are our number one priority!_

_[guild] Byleth: Cool._

_[guild] Byleth: I use they/them. Is that a problem?_

_[guild] ladyofmercy: Not at all! I keep a chart for everyone, so we never make mistakes._

_[guild] yumyum: Does anyone want to go help me finish a few fetch quests? I’ve almost maxed my cooking!_

_[guild] ladyofmercy: I’ll come with you!_

_[guild] ashetreearrows: I will too!_

_[guild] yumyum: Okay, sending the invitations now :D_

_[guild] yumyum: Byleth, you can join too if you want~! _

_[guild] Byleth: No thank you._

_[guild] theboarprince: byleth, do you want to go on a small raid with knighted, lucky, ofduscur, and i._

In his ears, Dimitri can hear Felix snort.

“Are you sure about that, Boar Prince?” Felix half-taunts, half-drawls in the lazy and mildly aggravating tone that Dimitri has started to associate with Felix being in a good mood. “Don’t think we’ll scare off the newcomer?”

“Felix! Do you want this to go well or not?” Ingrid chides from her end of the voice chat. “We’ve been trying to get another DPS reason/sword main for ages. It’s a miracle they joined us. I know Claude and The Empress are online.”

Felix hums. “Yeah, a miracle.”

“Dimitri, do you wish to invite Byleth to the voice chat?” Dedue, ever the voice of reason and logic, asks.

A moment of irrational fear threatens to close Dimitri’s throat. The paralyzing possibility that a new person could ruin everything that Dimitri has built up over the last few years. The unlikely situation where all of his friends — some of whom he’s known since childhood, who only started playing so they could spend more time with him — abandon him with a single misclick.

Inviting a complete stranger could do that. Or, as was the case with Annette, Ashe, and Mercedes, could mean adding yet another person to his small friends list.

The literal and figurative one.

“Dimitri?” Ingrid says. Even the vaguely robotic tone that Dimitri’s cheap headphones grant everyone isn’t enough to block out the concern that laces the single word.

“Sure,” Dimitri says. “I’ll PM them.”

_[Conversation with Byleth]_

_[whisper] theboarprince: we have a voice chat if you wish to join._

_[whisper] theboarprince: eris.gg/fePorRd _

_[whisper] theboarprince: only if you wish._

_[End of conversation with Byleth]_

For a moment, Dimitri thinks that Byleth has second-guessed their decision and is looking up the rules to jump ship. But then there’s a small _ding_as another person joins The Blue Shits, as the Eris channel is nicknamed. Byleth’s Eris username is also ‘Byleth’ — Dimitri is starting to wonder if that’s just a matter of consistency or if that’s their real name.

Byleth joins the voice chat with another _ding_.

“... Hello?” Byleth has a fairly low voice, but not necessarily deep. They sound maybe Dimitri’s age, maybe a bit older. It’s a relief to know that Dimitri didn’t invite a teenager into the guild.

“Hi! Byleth, right?” Ingrid takes over the speaking which gives Dimitri time to transport himself — in game — to the Crossways. He sends invites to his friends and Byleth. One by one, they all appear in his group. He has a distinct sense of pride as seeing [The Blue Lions] next to each of their names. Dimitri’s been playing the game since open beta, but that doesn’t make anything less exciting.

“So when are you free to duel?” Felix asks.

“Felix!” Ingrid sounds scandalized, as if Felix hasn’t done this to every new member of the group.

“What? Just a friendly match. Only a few hundred gold on the line.” Felix types something on his keyboard. Of the guild, his is the only one that sounds like a herd of elephants marching through in the background. During raids, it’s surprisingly soothing. Otherwise, Dimitri is five seconds away from buying Felix a new keyboard himself.

He probably would have by now, except Dimitri knows Felix would just throw it out or give it to Sylvain. Dimitri isn’t sure which would be worse.

“Maybe later,” Byleth says.

“Chicken,” Felix taunts.

“Don’t listen to him,” Ingrid reassures Byleth. “Felix and Sylvain are the troublemakers. Sylvain is the one who isn’t in the guild right now because he got banned.”

“At least I’ve never been banned,” Felix argues.

“Not yet,” Dedue adds.

Dimitri takes a moment to look at Byleth’s equipment. It’s all fairly standard, which is surprising considering their account is level fifty and they do have excellent stats in the sword, faith, and reason skills. They also have pretty high authority and charm, but the rest of their skills are literally zero. Except, Dimitri notices, their fishing score. He has no idea why, but there’s something particularly intriguing about someone who has a zero in every soft skill but fishing.

“Whatever. Dimitri, what are we doing? I have to be at training in two hours.” Felix saying his name jolts Dimitri out of his focus on Byleth’s class tree.

He’s never seen anyone with Enlightened One as their class. It has to be rare like Great Lord, except Dimitri is a Great Lord and he knows the other two and how they got it. Byleth also isn’t a mod or one of the actual staff members on the game because that would show up in their usertag, which makes it unlikely that the class is dev-specific or something.

“Um, I was thinking of running the Crossways. We don’t have a full party but it’s low enough we should finish without issue. Byleth, what is your usual playstyle?” Dimitri asks.

“I’m flexible,” Byleth replies.

“Let’s run it and see how it goes. If we have to, I have a few levels in monk and I can switch between waves.” Ingrid says. She clicks a few times and her character switches into a cheaper armor and a cheaper lance. The rest of the party follows suit, except for Felix and Byleth, both of whom only own one set of equipment. No point in wasting durability on something with crappy drops.

Dimitri enters the group into the lobby. Once everyone has hit ready, he launches the raid.

#

Raids are deceptively simple. Dimitri likes them mostly because a certain part of his brain can just… turn off. He can focus on the rhythmic clicking of his mouse and tapping of his keys. He can bark commands at his friends who — including Felix for the most part — listen as they all work together to get past different waves of enemies and make their way to the final boss.

Byleth is mostly quiet when they play. Occasionally they hum in acknowledgement, but other than that it seems like the group is playing with an NPC. A really, really good NPC. Dimitri doesn't know how Byleth has played so well and not joined a guild yet, but he's glad that they joined the Blue Lions.

With Dedue to acting as the tank, Dimitri takes his position by his side. Ingrid and Felix are right behind, attacking from a distance and dashing in when they see an opening. Byleth has pulled out a tome — Nosferatu if Dimitri's limited knowledge on magic counts for anything — and snipes the enemy archers.

"Watch out! Demonic Beast incoming," Dimitri shouts. "Everyone buckle down!"

"I need healing," Felix gasps, sounding like he is physically injured. "I'm out of pots."

"Ingrid?" Dimitri asks.

"Engaged with the enemy," she says.

"I have it." Byleth's avatar, halfway across the field, raises their hands and a white light surrounds Felix.

Dimitri is very impressed. He even mentally forgave Ingrid for inviting Byleth and waving the membership fee. Mercedes can heal from far away too, but she can't deal nearly as much damage as Byleth is doing.

"Lucky, finish the enemy. Everyone else, focus on killing the monster," Byleth orders. Their voice is strong and steady, but there is still hesitation that stops the group from acting. Dimitri can feel the proverbial eyes on him.

It is just a level 35 raid. Even if they completely wiped — which wouldn't happen — they would only lose a bit of gold.

"Listen to what Byleth said," Dimitri says.

"Got it. I can handle the grunts." Felix is probably rolling his eyes. Dimitri hasn't seen him in person in years but he can still picture the look of disgust that Felix adopts whenever he does anything beneath him.

"Stand behind me when it is about to attack," Dedue reminds the others. He, Dimitri, Ingrid, and Byleth all disengage from their current opponents and make their way towards the Demonic Beast. It's one of the freaky ones with a weird metallic mask. Dimitri's monitor will barely get to 60 FPS, but it's still more than enough frames to fully render the creepiness that exudes from the monster.

Dimitri toggles his stance into one which gives him a bonus to hit. His avatar, which admittedly is just him but cooler, says something about fighting for his friends. Dedue's avatar towers over the others, almost as large as Ingrid's pegasus. They make a pretty ridiculous party, especially including Byleth's weird robes.

"Here it comes!" Ingrid shouts.

"Knightedfreya, circle around. Ofduscur and boarprince, hold the front line. Don't let it attack anyone else." Byleth sounds like they know what they are doing. Certainly they have a more sophisticated plan than Dimitri's usual strategy of "hit it until it stops moving."

Ingrid takes off on her pegasus, flying off Dimitri’s screen. He doesn’t have time to scroll and follow because the Demonic Beast is charging up its breath attack. Dimitri places himself behind Dedue’s protective aura. Byleth charges up a spell and Ingrid manages to land a solid flanking attack right as the Beast unleashes its dark flames across the trio.

Dimtri is mostly protected from the blow, but even Dedeu’s spectacular stats can’t negate all the damage. Byleth is silent as they cast a quick group heal, topping them all off. Dimitri takes the opportunity to leave Dedue's aura and lash out. His lance pierces the Beast but he didn’t equip a high enough level weapon — his damage is cut in half thanks to the Beast’s armor.

“Ofduscur, do you have armor breaker?” Byleth asks.

“Yes. Engaging now.” Dedue runs forward. His axe is swapped out for a huge hammer. He swings it wildly and Dimitri has to back off. The Demonic Beast spins around to fight Ingrid as she flies away. The opening is long enough that Dedue slams the hammer once, twice, into the Beast’s side.

Byleth follows up with a quick blast of fire. The damage comes up in red — the Demonic Beast is resistant to fire damage. Byleth curses softly.

“We need more damage,” Byleth says. Felix laughs.

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way. Just finishing up the last grunt,” he states. The Demonic Beast roars. Dimitri growls under his breath. Ingrid, Felix, and Byleth all have too low of constitution and are temporarily stunned.

“Ofduscur, taunt the enemy!” Byleth commands. Dedue doesn’t have time to argue or check with Dimitri for confirmation. He casts his Challenge ability. The Demonic Beast swings around, losing interest in Ingrid — who is grounded, her pegasus unable to move either — and swipes at Dedue.

The blow could have seriously hurt Felix, even at his high level. Dedue is barely even scratched. Dimitri imbues his lance with a bit of divine energy. When he attacks this time, that special magic helps him do the proper amount of damage. The Demonic Beast’s first layer of armor shatters, spraying armor shards around it and dealing light injuries to the people too close which is everyone but Byleth and Felix.

No longer stunned or engaged with another enemy, Felix crosses the battlefield. He only keeps one set of equipment, the same he uses when the guild plunges into level 50 raids. His sword has no difficulty slicing through the Demonic Beast’s hide. Animated blood covers the area as Felix scores three critical hits in a row.

Ingrid is also up and plunges her lance in the Beast’s back, her pegasus kicking with hooves as an extra insult to injury. Dimitri has enough energy left to Smite the target. Byleth finishes with another faith attack and Dedue crushes its ribs with his hammer.

For a brief moment, the server seems to freeze. Then the corpse of the Demonic Beast explodes. An alert shows up on Dimitri’s screen letting him know that he’s gotten 20 gold, a bit of experience, and a _lot_ of items. He accepts and then starts reading through what he got. Nothing super useful, but a few rare crafting materials that’ll be good to hold onto.

“Nice,” Felix says. Dimitri assumes he got a good drop, then — “Your strategy wasn’t bad, Byleth.”

Oh. Felix doesn’t hand out compliments without really meaning it. Dimitri can count on one hand the number of times Felix has complimented him.

“Thanks.” Byleth makes their avatar bow, which is charming and unexpected all at once. Ingrid laughs. Suddenly, her avatar starts bowing too. Dimitri smiles and, while he isn’t quite at the point of joining in, he does clap.

_[Trade request from ofduscur!]_

“Huh?” Dimitri clicks on the notification. Somehow he’s not surprised when Dedue offers to trade him a few rare crafting materials for nothing. “Dedue, you know you can keep these yourself. I got a pretty good drop myself.”

“You could make more use of them than I would,” Dedue points out.

“If you’re just giving away crafting supplies, I’ll take them,” Felix comments.

“They are for Dimitri,” Dedue states. “Regardless, you would not use them, Felix. They are for weapons of lesser quality than you use.”

“Hmph.” Felix taps a few keys and his avatar disappears from the group. “I gotta go, training’s soon and I haven’t gotten changed.”

“Are you going to be on tonight?” Ingrid asks.

“Maybe.”

“Tell Sylvain that if he gets banned again, I’ll get Seteth to IP ban him,” Ingrid adds. Dimitri doesn’t ask if she can actually get the mod to do that. He assumes she can. “And I mean it!”

“Ha, as if that would get him to change his scandalous ways.” Felix laughs. “Sylvain just walked in. I’ll tell him what you said. Bye.” He leaves the chat with a ding.

“Byleth, how did you like the raid? Happy you joined the best guild?” Ingrid asks the newest member. Dimitri finds himself holding his breath, actually concerned about what this stranger may think.

“Yes,” Byleth says. “I am.”

#

“Ingrid wants me to tell you that she’s going to get you banned for real if you keep getting sort of banned,” Felix tells his roommate. Sylvain groans. He throws his backpack over his chair before launching himself at his bed. “Which one was it this time again?” Felix asks.

“I think it was the girl who gave me her mansion. Not sure though.” Sylvain made it sound like someone had given him a mansion in real life, not in the game, but knowing him it could be either. Or both.

Actually, Felix wouldn’t be surprised if it was both.

“I think I’m gonna get takeout for dinner,” Sylvain says. His words are muffled since his face is pressed into his sheets, but Felix is a master at interpreting Sylvain’s many methods of communication. “Do you want any?”

“No, I’ll be at fencing until late. Eat without me.” Felix grabs his fencing gear, the duffle bag going over one shoulder. “Do your homework before you play any Fire Emblem,” he preemptively chides.

“Who are you, Ingrid?” Sylvain replies, but he’s already rolling off the bed to pull out his notebook so Felix counts it as a success. “I promise not to bring any girls back this week, by the way. I need to study. PoliSci is kicking my ass this semester.”

“Doesn’t it always?” Felix taunts. He checks his phone battery. Enough to get him to and from training.

“What competition are you training for anyways?” Sylvain is at his desk, back to Felix. Well, as much as it can be. There’s not a ton of space in the room, what with two beds and two desks crammed into the small area.

The two of them are unexpected roommates to say the least. Felix originally lived in his apartment — thanks, Dad — alone, but ever since Sylvain officially snapped and told his parents where exactly they could shove their arranged marriages, Sylvain’s been crashing at his best friend’s. The benefits of the Fraldarius fortune are that the family can afford to take on another member financially. The downside is that Rodrigue has the emotional capacity for one son, and it’s not Felix. It's not Sylvain either, so they can comerserate on their mutual loathing of parental units.

“Mid-season university meet. All the top competitors in a three hundred mile radius will be there.” Felix’s answer is automatic. He has to bring it up every time his father calls him for a mandatory phone conversation. He doesn’t care if Rodrigue shows up, but at least the bastard will know that his son is doing well without him.

Sylvain laughs. “All the top competition and you’re the best, right?” It comes out teasing but Felix decides to respond seriously.

“Of course I am. Everyone else is fighting for second.”

“Then you should just stay in and help me with my homework,” Sylvain suggests. Felix snorts.

“Not if you paid me.”

“If you need someone to pick you up from training, text me,” Sylvain says as Felix walks out of the bedroom. Felix doesn’t bother with a reply.

#

Byleth took a moment to enjoy the silence as Ingrid, the last person in their party, dropped out of the call. Dedue — ofduscur — had work and Dimitri — theboarprince — had an appointment, but Ingrid — knightedfreya — had stayed on the chat for a bit longer to get to know Byleth and ask them a few questions about how they started playing the game. Nothing too personal, just questions about stats and skills and other MMORPGs that they’ve played in the past.

Answering in as few syllables as possible, Byleth hopes that they managed to spin as convincing a lie as possible. If Ingrid suspected anything, she didn’t say.

There’s hardly a moment to think about the Blue Lions — most of whom seem to know each other in real life, even if they don’t live close to one another — when an alert appears on Byleth’s main monitor.

_[Class Quest: Speak With Sothis]_

Byleth raises an eyebrow. They vaguely remember that Sothis is the name of the NPC who guides players through the main tutorial, but they didn't get much else from them. They also aren’t sure how to get to Sothis, but thankfully a fast travel option has appeared on the map.

A yawn strikes and Byleth is forced to pause. They glance at their phone’s clock. It’s late. Late enough that they probably should sleep.

They fast travel to Sothis.

At least, they intend to. For a moment, Byleth thinks the game crashed. Their screen is completely black. But then a soft glow appears and Byleth can only watch as their avatar walks forward towards the light. Out of the brightness appears Sothis, her familiar green hair and ridiculous outfit even more flamboyant in the black void that Byleth has somehow been transported into.

Funny. On the map, Byleth is pretty sure the location was towards the center of civilization.

For lack of better direction, Byleth clicks on Sothis.

_[NPC] Sothis: Oh, you’re awake!_

_[NPC] Sothis: Good, it’s taken you long enough. I’ve been waiting._

Byleth’s been playing the game for at least two hours now. They wonder if joining a guild and hopping right into raids caused the server to glitch. Maybe this is something else entirely. They aren’t sure.

_[NPC] Sothis: Do you remember who you are?_

_[Yes.] [No.]_

The two options appear on Byleth’s screen, obscuring pretty much any other part of the UI. Byleth decides that they should pick the option closest to reality, so they select no. Sothis shakes her head.

_[NPC] Sothis: Ugh. I was hoping you could tell me more information about myself._

_[NPC] Sothis: Other than my name, I can’t remember anything… and even my name is more like a distant echo, something I heard somewhere._

_[NPC] Sothis: There’s a lot of ground we have to cover, [Byleth], and I think we should start at the heart of Fódlan._

_[Class Quest: Speak With Sothis is complete!]_

_[Class Quest: Investigate Garreg Mach]_

Sothis doesn't say anything else, but a new quest has appeared in Byleth's journal. All it says is that they have to travel to a place called the Garreg Mach Monastery and speak with all of the professors. Byleth doesn't know what that means, but they dutifully pull up their fast travel map and head to the new location

_Remember that if you die, you have a chance to lose whatever equipment you have! _

The unhelpful hint stares Byleth in the face. They yawn. The load times are killer in this game.

Byleth's avatar appears in a courtyard. Specifically, a courtyard populated by a lot of other avatars. Many of them are running from one area to another, the chat bubbles above their head announcing that they were selling certain items or looking to buy others. A few are just showing off their emotes or standing around advertising smaller guilds. There are also a few NPCs, but none of them had the telltale yellow quest-related name above their heads.

_[worldchat] iamferdinand: selling full golden cavalier armor 10k_

_[worldchat] lionnessleo: looking 4 someone 2 group w 4 raid lvl 40 need tanks_

_[worldchat] ANNOUNCEMENT: GUILD LEADERS, REMEMBER TO SIGN UP YOUR GUILD FOR THE ANNUAL COMPETITION OF CHAMPIONS STARTING ON 12/8/1180. LATE ENTRIES WILL NOT BE PERMITTED._

_[worldchat] danceroftheopera: looking for group, level 38 faith/sword/charm dancer subclass!_

It’s very distracting. Byleth has to adjust to seeing so many people doing so many different things. Their brain has started picking up what exactly the lingo all means, but they’ve only really seen the tip of the iceberg. There’s still a lot to learn and they know they have to do so quickly. The Blue Lions might all be a bunch of friends, but they also take the game very seriously and Byleth doesn’t want them to know how little they actually know about playing.

Thankfully the worldchat has a proximity limit. Byleth doesn’t know how anything would get done if someone had to put up with seeing all of the messages for the entire server.

Pulling up their map, specifically the one of Garreg Mach, Byleth’s glad to see that there are specific areas with quest markers. They can only assume that they’re supposed to go to each and investigate, even though they aren’t sure what investigating entails.

Clicking around, Byleth puts markers on their minimap and then heads off to the closest one.

They quickly discover the fishing docks, the greenhouse, a large dining hall where people can cook or bake, and also a large cathedral — it is a monastery, they remember — where people can train in singing. There’s also a grand hall of some kind where people can dance. Byleth doesn’t even see dancing as an option on their skill list, so they assume it must be class-based.

Beyond the main quest areas, they do get lost at some point and find a bustling marketplace as well as a training ground where a lot of newer players seem to congregate. There’s a place where people can challenge others to duels and Byleth, unbidden, has a mental imagine of Felix’s avatar standing there and inviting random people to fight. They decide they’ll ask Ingrid about it later.

Next they discover the stables, which includes horses, wyverns, and pegasi. Byleth is heading away — there’s a lot to look at and they’re falling asleep at their computer — when they get a private message.

_[Conversation with not_house_gaudy_3]_

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: hey there!!! when did you join the Lions???_

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: I’m one of the og members, so if you need any help just pm me ;)_

_[whisper] Byleth: I’m sorry, do I know you?_

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: right, right, I got banned so I need to relevel again._

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: if you check the guild list, you’ll see not_house_guady and not_house_guady_2._

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: my name is Sylvain, I’m sure one of the others mentioned me._

_[whisper] Byleth: Only good things._

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: LOL I know that’s a joke, but thanks._

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: are you doing a quest or something???_

_[whisper] Byleth: Yes._

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: do you need help???_

_[whisper] Byleth: Not really._

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: okay. I’m just gonna keep leveling then._

_[whisper] Byleth: Okay._

_[whisper] not_house_guady_3: it’s cool meeting you though!!!_

_[End of conversation with not_house_guady_3]_

Byleth isn’t sure what they were expecting from the mysterious Sylvain, but it probably wasn’t that. Adding it to the growing list of things to ask Ingrid about, they minimize the private messages and keep exploring.

What is interesting is when they ascend a set of stairs and get to a new area, a smaller chapel with a number of classrooms. In this building, there are still a lot of players, but fewer than in the other areas. The difference, and what catches Byleth’s attention, is that there are suddenly silver names with [Mod] next to them. They check their minimap one more time, but the dots where the professors are marked line up precisely with the where the mods are standing around.

_[worldchat] [[Mod] iDetectcrests] waves to [Byleth]!_

_[worldchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: If you are looking for training in Faith or Swords, you will have to wait until later._

_[worldchat] Byleth: I’m trying to complete a quest. I need to meet all of the professors?_

_[worldchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Well, you’ve met one of them. I am the professor of Reason and Bows. I also know everything there is to know about Crests, so if you discover any and have questions, you can ask me!_

_[worldchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: There is also Songstress, Thunderstrike, Sunshineknight, Ceruleandragon, and Rhea, as well as several others._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Hello, someone mentioned my name?_

_[worldchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: I have a player looking to speak with all the professors for a quest._

_[worldchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: I do not think they are all online right now, so you may have to wait until later to finish your quest._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: A quest that requires you to speak with all of the professors? I have not heard of that._

_[worldchat] Byleth: Okay._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Never heard of it either. I just got on, in the third classroom if you want to meet._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: I am in the library._

_[worldchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Is there anything else I can help you with?_

_[worldchat] igotzanarrow: Hello, Professor. Can I have my daily training bonus in bows?_

_[worldchat] [Mod iDetectcrests: Of course._

Byleth watches, intrigued, as iDetectcrests waves his hands. The stranger, igotzanarrow, glows and then does the cheering emote. Byleth makes a mental note to look up daily training and crests later, preferably after they’ve gotten some sleep. They’re not going to be able to finish this quest tonight, but there’s still a few more professors — Mods? — that they can meet and it’s probably a good idea to do it now.

They head out of the classroom and head down to the third one, since that’s closer than the library.

Thunderstrike is a woman with long blonde hair and spiky, shiny silver armor. She has a huge sword on her back that is labeled as a [Unique] weapon. Byleth, despite everything, feels a bit intimidated by how good her armor is versus their own basic equipment. They might both be level 50, but Thunderstrike clearly has put time into the game and earned her title as a mod.

But what stops Byleth from saying anything immediately is the NPC standing next to her.

His hair is the same, with the longer top and the shaved sides. His beard is a bit long and he’s in armor with a massive shield on his back. But it is, unmistakably, Byleth’s father.

Jeralt died three weeks ago. Byleth buried their father, cried over his grave. They’ve been going through his belongings ever since, emptying out his part of the apartment in the small bursts that they can handle it.

There’s no reason that Jeralt, a man who hated computers and hated technology and still used a flip phone, should be in a video game.

So why is Byleth staring at their screen, [NPC] Jeralt staring back at them?

_[[Mod] Rhea has messaged you!]_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. So. Can't say I expected all of the attention. I very much appreciate it~
> 
> There's less ship interaction in this chapter but I promise there will be more soon.
> 
> Regardless, enjoy! Featuring: even more drama, even more questions, and even more plot!

_[guild] theboarprince: don’t forget the skirmish we have against the golden deer tomorrow._

_[guild] theboarprince: i want everyone to be there unless you’re in the hospital or dead._

_[guild] lucky_strike: Wow, tell us how you really feel._

_[guild] yumyum: Don’t worry, Dimitri, we’re going to win for sure :D_

_[guild] ladyofmercy: I think that as long as we give it our all, there’s no way we can lose._

_[guild] not_house_guady_3: do you still want me to be there???_

_[guild] knightedfreya: If you can get yourself to a respectable level, yes. If not, you’ll only drag us down._

_[guild] not_house_guady_3: ingrid my friend the light of my life, when have I ever dragged you down??? _

_[guild] ashetreearrows: There was that time you were late to the raid and the Black Eagles finished it first._

_[guild] ofduscur: Or the time when you were flirting with the girl from the Black Eagles and she ended up stealing half of your items._

_[guild] yum-yum: There was the time when you single-handedly ruined the in-game economy for a few days. _

_[guild] Byleth: How does one ruin the in-game economy single-handedly?_

_[guild] not_house_guady_3: well, if you really want to know I'll pm you but I think Ingrid might kill me if I tell you now._

_[guild] not_house_guady_3: but I try not to assume._

_[guild] knightedfreya: Get on the Eris chat and I'll tell you myself. _

There is a _ding_ as Sylvain does just that. Before he can say anything, two more dings alert the group that Mercedes and Ashe have both joined the voice chat. A chorus of hellos ring out, though Ingrid notices that Felix mutes himself. Not unusual when he and Sylvain are in the same room, so Ingrid doesn't call him out on it.

"Do we know what map we're using for tomorrow?" Mercedes asks once the conversation swings back towards the game. Ingrid never quite knows what to make of Mercedes. Half the time, Ingrid doesn't even know why Mercedes plays. The other half, Mercedes shares a spreadsheet that calculates the guild's possible DPS based on different configurations and equipment stats. 

And Mercedes mains _faith_.

"Claude has agreed to use the Docks. We will each run both sides, starting with us on the defensive and the Deer on the offensive," Dimitri explains. According to Ingrid's friend list, Dimitri and Dedue are in the mountains, no doubt grinding for materials against some generic monsters. 

She decides against joining them, continuing with training her flying skill. That is in part because Sylvain is there too and she can keep an eye on the worldchat for this area. He's gotten up to level 23 in about a week, which is really good though a bit concerning for his academics. At least, it would be if Ingrid didn't know that Felix is helping his friend by playing when he has free time. The advantage of being the highest level — as someone like Felix happens to be — is that he doesn't lose much by grinding for Sylvain. 

"Then, regardless of results, we will switch sides. Defense wins if they eliminate the entire enemy team or last over five minutes. Offense wins if they capture the center point or eliminate the enemy." Dimitri begins coughing before he manages to mute himself. 

A concerned silence hangs over the chat. It goes on for a moment longer than usual. Ingrid almost says something but then Dimitri is back.

"This is a good opportunity for us to train against one of our main competitors in the Competition of Champions. This event may not be as serious as the Battle of the Eagle and Lion but it still has good guild prizes," Dimitri continues, utterly unfazed. If his voice is a bit rougher than before, no one says anything. 

At this moment Felix unmutes himself, scoffing loud enough for Sylvain's mic to catch the noise and make it echo briefly. "And have you created a strategy for us, Boar?" 

"Talk to your leader with respect," Dedue snaps.

True to his nature, Felix decides to keep antagonizing his guild mates. "Boar, keep your guard dog in check." 

"Felix!" Ingrid and Mercedes say at the same time.

“I want us to win. And we all know that the only reason we’ve won anything in the last few competitions is because almost all of us have hit the level cap since we’ve been playing since the beginning. Now, the other guilds are grinding up and we can’t stop them from getting better gear. I can’t be the only one who knows that our previous “run at them while Mercedes attempts to heal all of us” strategy isn’t going to work,” Felix rants. 

There’s a moment of silence. Ingrid wants to furiously message Felix and tell him to back off, but she knows he’ll just mock her in the group chat. The most infuriating part is that Ingrid agrees with him. Even if his execution was crap, what he’s saying is true. The Black Eagles are the oldest guild but a lot of their players are newer. The Golden Deer have never been quite as serious as the other two. The Blue Lions have gotten this far partially out of Dimitri’s own, well, lack of an outside life. 

None of them, however, are exactly strategic geniuses. 

“We have an advantage this time though, one we didn’t have last time,” Mercedes says softly. 

“Yeah?” Felix challenges her, but doesn’t laugh at her, probably because Mercedes is actually kindness personified and Ingrid would personally fly to Felix’s university and kick his ass if he insulted their healer. 

(If Annette didn’t first, of course.)

“We have our new member, Byleth!” Mercedes sounds so excited that Ingrid can’t help but smile. “They’re very smart at the game, and they’re incredibly good at fighting.”

“That’s true,” Ashe adds, “I was working on my archery and they helped me with a few quests. Even just the two of us got a lot done. I’m almost to level 41.”

“That’s great, Ashe,” Ingrid says in as genuine a tone as she can manage.

“Great, so we have one person who’s good with some magic. With that and the power of friendship, there’s no way we’ll lose,” Felix deadpans.

“If you have concerns with the guild, then give me your solution,” Dimitri says in a low voice. 

A moment passes. 

“Don’t listen to Felix,” Sylvain drawls, “I know he’s just moody because someone scored a hit on him in practice.” With that, it’s like all the tension has been let out. Ingrid doesn’t realize she’s holding her breath until she lets it out again. The proverbial balloon is popped and the conversation swings into inquiring about Felix’s fencing, Dedue’s gardening, Ashe’s writing. 

Ingrid lets the conversation wash over her, contributing here and there. Her main attention is focused on grinding out levels in flight — she’s so, so close to the S Tier she can practically feel it — but she does pull up another chat window. 

_[Conversation with theboarprince]_

_[whisper] knightedfreya: Don’t let Felix get to you. He’s just trying to cause problems._

_[whisper] theboarprince: i appreciate your concern, but i do not let it disturb me._

_[whisper] theboarprince: it would be more disturbing if he didn’t._

_[whisper] knightedfreya: Okay. Just wanted to make sure._

_[whisper] knightedfreya: I can always talk to him if you want._

_[whisper] theboarprince: he wouldn’t listen to you even if you did._

_[End of conversation with theboarprince]_

Sometimes, Ingrid wonders why she even bothers.

#

Dedue is the tank. Yes, he can do damage and he has several class abilities that let him reduce the armor, hit, and speed of his enemies. Yes, he wields giant weapons like hammers and axes. But when his damage is compared to someone such as Dimitri or Felix — or even Ashe and Annette — then it’s obvious what Dedue’s real purpose is. 

That being said, he can’t do much if his friends insist on rushing headlong into battle even when they’re supposed to be on the defensive, which is where they get into problems like the one they’re in now.

It started fine. The Blue Lions, starting on defense, got an extra thirty seconds to prep themselves. Annette had buffed Felix, Ashe had set up on some high ground, and Dimitri and Ingrid both took up the respect main entries into the courtyard which held the capture point. Byleth and Mercedes were ordered to protect the capture point while everyone else focused on trying to take out the Golden Deer. True to the Lions’ normal strategy, they were hoping for an elimination win and not a time win.

Sylvain was not allowed to participate, as he was a good 15 levels below even the lowest member of the Golden Deer. Mercedes seemed even more upset than Sylvain.

That was two minutes ago. In that time, Claude and igotzanarrow had managed to out-snipe Ashe, taking him out of this round entirely. With the high ground taken, Annette and Byleth are doing their best to keep the two enemy snipers pinned down but that left Mercedes to do all the healing. 

Ingrid is furiously fighting against the Golden Deer’s white haired mage. Neither seems able to land a hit, but with their one flying unit out of the battle, the Blue Lions are also unable to kill the Golden Deer’s healer. 

“Dammit, I feel like I’m fighting a mountain,” Felix complains. “I’m not doing any damage to this guy.” 

“Hold him off a while longer,” Dimitri instructs. “I’ve almost defeated this one.” 

Dedue takes a moment to look away from his fight — a pink haired axe knight and a redhead with a lance — to see how Dimitri is fairing. His avatar is covered in blood, but thankfully most of it seems to be his opponent’s. Dimitri is stronger than the Golden Deer’s tank but their healer is managing to keep the tank alive regardless. Overall, the battle seems to be a stalemate. Neither side is losing, and unless someone makes a mistake — 

“Oh no!” Annette cries out. On screen, her avatar flashes green. "I'm poisoned and I'm running out of health fast." 

"Ha! I've got them," Dimitri growls, voice gravel. His avatar pierces the enemy tank straight through the middle, the critical hit doing just enough to take the tank out immediately. "Hold the line — once we get their healer, they're done for."

He immediately began to cross the map to get to the aforementioned healer. Dedue is punished, though, for his brief distraction — his avatar cries out as the axe knight lands a devastating blow and he doesn't block it in time. His armor shatters. Dedue grimaces. That's going to be a pain to repair. 

"Annette!" Mercedes cries out. 

"Sorry guys, you're going to have to finish this one without me," Annette moaned as her avatar faded from the map. Dedue hears Ashe comfort her but he blocks it out, trying to focus on the fight.

"Dedue, take this!" Mercedes shouts. Her avatar casts a spell and instantly Dedue regains all his health. His screen stops flashing red — and he hadn't even noticed when it started, it just did — and he smiles a bit to himself. 

"Thank you," he says. He taps on a few of his keys, activating his undying rage. It’s effective for a solid three seconds, at which point an arrow from Claude shoots through his avatar’s head. Dedue smashes his second wind hotkey, and he can hear Dimitri and Felix coordinating an attack against the Golden Deer’s dark knight. 

Then Mercedes gets killed, Byleth informs the group that Claude and the other archer are on their way to the capture point, and Dedue realizes that sometimes one just has to take the loss.

#

“That sucked,” Felix says. Dimitri is inclined to agree. He doesn’t want to put on his good armor for this, nor does he want to use his Hero’s Relic on a practice battle. That feels too much like admitting that he’s not good enough to do this the normal way. 

“I’m sorry guys,” Ashe replies. He’s been apologizing for the last minute. Dimitri and the others have told him it’s fine for the last five. Ashe hasn’t seemed to take that to heart. “I thought that I would be fine, but I guess my traps didn’t do enough damage.”

“Claude has a much better bow than last time,” Ingrid points out. “And we still have our attack round. What can we do differently?”

“Not run headfirst into the crossfire that Claude and his other sniper are bound to set up?” 

“Felix!” Ingrid pauses. “Actually, well, that’s not a bad idea.”

“Byleth, do you have any suggestions?” Dimitri asks suddenly. He feels an itch in his throat and he mutes himself before the coughing fit overtakes him. It’s strong enough that he doesn’t hear what’s being said, just tunes back in to hear — 

“They won’t expect a thing. Does everyone understand what they need to do?” Byleth clears their throat. “Or any questions.”

“Yes!” Annette smacks her desk. Something clatters in the background. Dimitri can imagine her with a bowl of sadness ice cream. “How are you so good at strategy? I never would have thought about doing that.”

Dimitri wonders if anyone is going to mention what _that_ is, or if he’s going to have to figure it out himself. He considers himself good at strategy — definitely better than when he was a thirteen year old trying to figure out how to beat Sylvain in Civ V. Byleth does have a unique way of thinking. Dimitri likes that. He’s not too proud to refuse help when he needs it. 

Not usually. Not sometimes. Well, on occasion.

“I was taught by my father,” Byleth replies. “He taught me everything I know.” 

Some part of Dimitri realizes that Byleth brings the number of people on the Blue Lions with a good relationship with their father to a grand total of one. He can’t count himself. His father’s been dead for too long.

“Byleth, if you think that you can do more by being in the fighting, I should be able to heal by myself,” Mercedes says. “I was able to do it before you joined, I’m sure I can again.” 

“Okay. But focus your efforts on our frontline. Felix, if you need healing, you’ll have to call for it.” Byleth does a cheer emote. The others laugh — even Felix chuckles a bit — and soon everyone is doing a cheer emote or dancing. Dimitri grins.

_[guild] [ofduscur] dances at [theboarprince]!_

_[guild] [knightedfreya] dances at [theboarprince]!_

_[guild] [ashetreearrows] dances at [theboardprince]!_

_[guild] [yumyum] dances at [theboarprince]!_

_[guild] [ladyofmercy] dances at [theboarprince]!_

_[guild] [Byleth] dances at [theboarprince]!_

“Come on, Felix, dance with us!” Annette teases. Felix groans. “I like to dance, dance, dance, it’s funny, funny. I like to cheer, cheer, cheer, it makes me happy, happy,” Annette says in a sing-song tone. 

“Ugh.”

_[guild] [lucky_strike] dances at [yumyum]!_

Annette claps her hands together in excitement. Dimitri laughs softly as he types his own command in.

_[guild] [theboarprince] dances at [ofduscur]!_

Hearing Dedue laugh makes any potential teasing worth it. He makes sure to dance with every member of the Blue Lions, even Felix who chides everyone for wasting prep time. He’s probably right, but Dimitri is working on “trusting” and being “relaxed” and not taking a video game “so seriously that he loses sleep.”

That’s what his therapist suggests. 

He does pause in the jovial activities when he sees a new message pop up.

_[Conversation with Claude]_

_[whisper] Claude: We’re ready when you are!_

_[whisper] Claude: Unless you want to concede to the better guild :) _

_[whisper] theboarprince: we are ready. send invite._

_[whisper] Claude: Your doom!_

_[End of conversation with Claude]_

Dimitri clears his throat. The conversation dies down. “Okay. The Golden Deer are ready. Everyone, queue up.”

“Let’s do this,” Mercedes says. A green check mark appears next to her avatar, just floating in the air.. “I know we can do it.”

The others all hit _ready_ until the match is waiting on Dimitri to accept. He felt like now is the time a brave leader gives some rousing speech about courage and honor and winning. If this was some kind of motivational movie, he’d be discussing how they’d come so far and had only this last hurdle. 

It's just a practice match between two guilds on an MMORPG that cost $10 a month to play.

“Blue Lions! Assemble,” Dimitri says. 

“Is that from a movie?” Ashe asks as the map loads. There’s no time to answer — as soon as they’re able, everyone gets into position. 

Byleth begins to rehash the strategy and Dimitri puts himself in place as the front guard for Annette alongside Ingrid. Felix is going to go around the back to take out the archers while Dedue and Byleth draw as much attention as possible. Mercedes will heal everyone while Ashe tries to snipe the enemy healer. Dimitri and his entourage are there to be distractions so that the Golden Deer can’t just focus down anyone in particular. The important thing is that they all have to attack their targets at the same time. It can't be that hard, right? 

"Go!" 

#

_[Conversation with [Mod] Rhea]_

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I heard about your guild’s success during training the other day. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: The Blue Lions are fortunate to have such a skilled new member. _

_[whisper] Byleth: Thank you._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I am certain you wonder why I give you so much attention._

_[whisper] Byleth: Yes, a little._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I think you are interesting. I suppose you could say that I want to take you under my wing. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I have the best of intentions, I assure you. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: All of us moderators have tasks in the game. In fact, many of us are also members of the development team._

_[whisper] Byleth: Really?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Yes. It is true that most of the developers have their own identifying features, but for many of us it has been easier to interact with the other players without that. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Now, I am trusting you not to tell everyone. I can trust you, right?_

Byleth is halfway through typing of course before pausing. They don’t even know who this Rhea is. They don’t know much about the other Blue Lions and they play Fire Emblem with them almost daily at this point. Social interaction may not be their strong suit, but even they know that things like trust are not to be casually handed out like cheap chandy. 

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: My apologies, I forget myself._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: You are just such an interesting player._

_[whisper] Byleth: Why do you say that?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Well, you have a very unique class. In fact, I have not seen anyone else with that class before. _

_[whisper] Byleth: It must just be luck._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Perhaps._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Have you the time for another quest?_

_[whisper] Byleth: I haven’t been given any others yet._

Technically, Byleth is still finishing the one Sothis gave them a few days ago. It’s proving harder than they thought to be on at the same time as some of the professors — and there’s so many of them! They have a list on their desk and they haven’t met Emeralddragon, literally the last person necessary. 

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Oh, did you not know? Moderators are able to grant special quests once or twice a day. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Only small quests, but they can help give a bit of guidance. Here, I will send you one now. _

Byleth doesn’t have much of a say in it. They wait for a moment. Then —

_[Mod Quest: Fetch 10 Umbra Ore]_

They have to pull up the item’s Serenes Forest entry in order to even know what umbra ore is and why they should care, but Byleth does have to admit it’s intriguing. The Demonic Beast that they faced at the Crossroads was difficult enough and they didn’t get any ore then. They’re supposed to fight ten more and get ore by defeating them a certain way? It seems almost more annoying than anything.

Hopefully some of the other Blue Lions would be interested. Byleth can’t imagine having to do this alone.

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I have to be off, but I enjoyed speaking with you, Byleth._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I hope your quest goes well. And if you have any questions, you can always reach out to me._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: :)_

_[End of conversation with [Mod] Rhea]_

A heavy sigh rips its way out of Byleth’s chest. They stare at their screen. The little room that their avatar stands in is somehow even more lonely than where they sit in real life, at their desk with the blinds closed tight and the ceiling fan barely pushing back the last of the afternoon’s heat. 

Their leave of absence ends soon. Everyone at work has been so understanding. After all, Jeralt is Byleth’s father. They have no memories of their mother and no other family, so they’ve been the one arranging all of the final decisions with Jeralt’s meager estate. But now, they have to return to their own responsibilities. 

Jeralt was their father. It’s been a month since he died. Byleth still hasn’t gone into his room ever since the first week.

Byleth stands. Their chair drags across the carpet in the office. They decide to leave their computer on. They won’t be gone long, they just need some water.

They don’t turn any lights on as they make their way to the kitchen. There’s clutter on the tables and the counters need to be cleaned — that was Jeralt’s job, cleaning the kitchen, if only because Byleth can’t cook and is best kept away from the oven whenever possible — but the floors are neat so there’s no risk of tripping on anything. They refuse to look at the stack of papers on the dining room table. 

The fridge light is painfully bright. Byleth squeezes their eyes shut as they manage to pull out their water bottle. Maybe it’s childish, but they’ve never liked drinking from anything else. 

They stand in the peaceful, all-encompassing dark. It’s quiet. All the blinds are drawn tight, only slivers of early evening light making it through. 

They run a hand through their hair. It’s getting long. They should get it cut. It’s also starting to grow in dark again. They should dye it. Redye it? They aren’t sure. 

They finish their drink of water. After a moment, they decide that they’re done drinking for now. They screw the cap back on nice and tight before putting the bottle in the fridge again.

As they walk back to the office, they consider what’s been bothering them. 

It’s quiet in the apartment. 

#

_[worldchat] knightofbluehair: im telling u, u gotta just him em hard n hit em fast_

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: That makes no sense._

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: Did you mean “hit him hard?”_

_[worldchat] knightofbluehair: no mercy no surrender just pow pow_

_[worldchat] [[knightofbluehair] laughs at [sleepcalls]!_

_[worldchat] ashetreearrows: But what if someone has a good reason for not playing?_

_[worldchat] ashetreearrows: Not everyone can be on 24/7._

_[worldchat] knightofbluehair: thats there problem, not mine_

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: Can we do something else? I'm bored. _

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: I don’t even know how we got to this conversation… _

_[worldchat] knightofbluehair: BECAUSE YOU STOPPED PLAYING FOR A WEEK AND DIDN’T TELL ME_

_[worldchat] ashetreearrows: Oh bother… _

_[worldchat] knightofbluehair: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRAIN TO BECOME THE BEST KNIGHT IN THE ENTIRE SERVER IF MY TRAINING BUDDY ISN’T HERE_

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: You do know that I texted you? _

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: Multiple times._

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: About having to work on my thesis._

Ashe is almost relieved when a private message appears from Byleth. He barely has to read the invitation to agree to join them against a few raids. 

_[worldchat] ashetreearrows: So, you two have fun. I’m going to go now. _

_[worldchat] ashetreearrows: Bye!_

_[worldchat] knightofbluehair: YOU DID NOT TEXT ME ANYTHING, I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED A TEXT FROM MY BEST FRIEND_

_[worldchat] sleepcalls: Bye, Ashe!_

_Ding!_

“Ashe! I’m so excited that you’re playing too. I feel like it’s been ages since we’ve grinded together,” Ingrid says as soon as Ashe joins. He smiles, settling into his admittedly uncomfortable chair. 

“Ah, yes, it does feel like it’s been a while. Hello, Byleth, Mercedes. Is it just us?” He asks.

“Yeah. Unfortunately Annette has to study. I don’t even know why — classes have barely even started!" Mercedes sighs. "Sometimes I think she needs to take care of herself better." 

"Byleth, are you in school?" Ashe realizes that he doesn't even know if Byleth is the same age as the rest of them. Not including Mercedes, who is a bit older, everyone is in their twenties. Specifically, everyone is in university. "You don't have to answer if you don't want." 

"It's okay. I am not in school. I am a professor," Byleth replies. 

Ashe gasps. He feels bad about it, but his first thought is his English professor — a kind of weird but enthusiastic brunette who is always talking about how much passion is in a lot of Medieval writing. That professor is also probably close to 70. Byleth is not. Right? 

Right? 

"Oh, that's so cool. What do you teach?" Mercedes seems to have none of Ashe's hesitation. "I'm doing my residency." 

"I teach history. My special interest is the late Middle Ages." Byleth pauses. "Would people be okay if we began the raid?" 

Feeling a bit sheepish, Ashe hits _ready._ His sniper — who looks really cool with his brand new bow, _thanks level 40_ — knocks an arrow and says a cheesy line about bringing honor to land. Maybe choosing knighthood as his path was a bit on the nose, but Ashe has always liked tales of chivalry. 

"Ashe, how are classes going for you?" Ingrid asks. "You started school already, right?" 

"Yes, we started two weeks ago. Technically, I should be doing homework but I saw that some of my friends were playing and I wanted to say hi." Ashe laughs nervously. "Byleth, you don't work at Gaspard University, do you?" 

"No? Should I?" Byleth sounds mildly confused. 

"N-No! Definitely not." Ashe decides it's best to just keep his mouth shut. 

The four of them aren't strong enough to hit any of the more difficult raids, so after they almost wipe against a level 35 raid — which feels kind of bad, but they don’t have a tank and there’s supposed to be at least six of them doing this — they just go and grind in the Oghma Mountains, where there are occasionally generated Demonic Beasts. 

They have a bit of a challenge cut out for them, but with Byleth guiding them and a bit of luck with critical hits — _thanks level 40_ — they manage to get two down over the next ten minutes. 

“Oh, Ashe, look at the worldchat!” Ingrid suddenly says as the group wanders around the area in search of another foe. 

_[worldchat] iamferdinand: Sorry that I actually enjoy being a good guy and not terrorizing new players!_

_[worldchat] Atropos: Everyone survived level one at some point. If I just show them the harsher aspects of the game, that is to encourage them to think carefully about their decisions._

_[worldchat] The_Empress: Is the worldchat really the place to debate game philosophies?_

Ashe has a feeling that’s not what Ingrid is referring to, so he asks. She laughs and tells him to scroll up. 

_[worldchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Knights of Seiros looking for temp group member, preferably 50. Any role._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Message me or Ceruleandragon for invite._

“Oh!” Ashe lets out an embarrassingly dreamy sigh. “One day, I’ll be good enough to join them.”

“Join who?” Byleth asks. 

“The Knights of Seiros! It’s a guild that exists outside of all the other guilds. You have to be a mod to join,” Ashe explains. “But they’re in charge of testing the balance of new raids and helping new players on quests and promoting the code of conduct. They’re like knights in the old tales, but in a video game.”

“Oh. I didn’t know they existed.” Byleth pauses. “Would you leave the Blue Lions?”

“I’d probably have to,” Ashe admits, even though he feels guilty. “I don’t know if the mods are supposed to show a preference too openly. Seteth has a soft spot for Ingrid, though.”

“Which mod is Seteth?” Mercedes asks.

“Ceruleandragon,” Ingrid replies. “And he does not have a _soft spot_ for me. We have a mutual respect and understanding that Sylvain is a troublemaking bastard and multiple people need to keep their eyes on him.”

“Hm, well he seems nice.” Mercedes hums a short tune. “Ashe, I hope that you get your dream someday, even if that means you won’t be part of the guild anymore. But you still have to play with us, okay?”

“Definitely!” Ashe readily agrees. “I wouldn’t stop talking to you guys just because I’m a fancy mod.”

Ingrid laughs. “Of course you wouldn’t. But it might be better for you if you limit your interaction with Sylvain.”

As bad as Ashe feels about that, Ingrid is probably right.

On the screen, Byleth suddenly stops. Ashe thinks his computer froze for a moment, but then Byleth starts taking off in another direction. With his avatar set to follow, Ashe doesn’t have to redirect himself, but he does frown.

“Is everything okay?” He asks.

“I just… have a feeling.” Byleth is vague enough to pique Ashe’s interest, but at this point Ashe figures Byleth won’t lead them all into their doom. They’ve been pretty reliable so far. 

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: If you have seen or received any messages from Emeralddragon, please tell her that her brother is worried about her._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Also, the mods are searching for someone else to temporarily join the Knights of Seiros. Contact either myself or Thunderstrike for information._

_[worldchat] Claude: Hey, can I join? ;)_

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: No, Claude, you cannot._

_[worldchat] Claude: :(_

Ashe forces himself to stop reading the worldchat. He’s still got a long way to go before he hits fifty. No point torturing himself with what could be, especially when it is impossible. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here before,” Mercedes says. Byleth has brought them to one of the higher level parts of the Mountains, one with plenty of skulls and a few tumbleweeds, as if people don’t know that it’s dangerous by the big _ZANADO, THE RED CANYON_ title that shows up in the center of the screen.

_Recommended level: 45_ also appears. Ashe hums nervously under his breath. They won’t wipe here, right?

Right?

He might feel a bit better if there were literally any other players in the area, but they’re so far from anyone else that the worldchat has gone quiet. It’s disconcerting. Ashe likes the most populated areas. That’s how he makes friends, after all. 

“I think we’re close,” Byleth says all of a sudden.

“Close to what, exactly?” Ingrid questions. 

The answer to that comes up quickly. Ashe audibly gasps as they come across a single player trapped by a Demonic Beast. The creature is one of the flying ones, fast but not necessarily devastating, and fortunately weak against bows.

“Let’s go! We have to help them,” Ingrid cries out. 

“Ashe, stay back and try to distract it. Ingrid, protect Ashe. Mercedes, you and I have to see if that player needs healing,” Byleth orders. Ashe is already casting a volley, toggling his stance to one more adept at dodging rather than critical hits. 

Ingrid flies directly at the Beast, spinning her lance in her hand. The Demonic Beast, noticing new foes, takes one last swipe at the stranger before spinning and roaring at the others. Ashe winces in real life as his avatar is stunned. Dedue is constantly telling him to train more constitution to avoid things like this. 

“I’m inviting them to our party,” Byleth states. Before Ashe can ask who exactly is getting added, he sees the little notification pop up.

_Emeralddragon has joined the party!_

On screen, Mercedes shoots off a heal to Emeralddragon as Byleth casts a high level fire spell against the Demonic Beast. The ground underneath it bursts open and a jet of flame engulfs it. There’s an unholy screech as it flies higher. Ashe shoots an arrow, but he’s outside of his ideal range and it’s only a graze. Ingrid flies after it, Mercedes boosting her speed. 

_[groupchat] Byleth: Are you okay?_

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: Yes, thank you for helping!_

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: I thought nobody would get my messages._

_[groupchat] knightedfreya: I hate to interrupt, but we still have a fight on our hands._

“Oh, I think I know her,” Mercedes realizes. “She’s Ceruleandragon’s — Seteth’s — sister.” 

The Demonic Beast claws at Ingrid, rending at her pegasus’s wings. Ashe casts deadeye, striking it in the chest several times, but its armor is still up. Another shriek — Ashe isn’t stunned this time, too far from the noise, but Ingrid — 

“Crap, I need some help,” she shouts. “I’m falling. Crap, crap—”

“I’ve got you!” Mercedes’s avatar raises her hands and spins. Ingrid’s stun disappears at the same time as Emeralddragon heals her. 

Byleth shoots a basic thunder at the Beast, which manages to shatter the first layer of armor. Ashe grits his teeth. They’ve already taken down multiple Demonic Beasts together. This one is just a higher level and is very angry. Well, as angry as a bunch of code can be. Totally fine. 

“Bring it back down where we have the advantage,” Byleth says. 

“On it.” Ingrid, now fully healed, heads right back into battle. 

Over the next minute or so, they manage to burst the Beast down. Ingrid is kept up by the two and a half healers — Byleth is mostly throwing fireballs, but every once in a while throws up a heal spell — while Ashe lays down cover fire. Together, it’s a slog but it’s an easily manageable fight. Ashe thinks they’re a bit lucky they didn’t encounter one of the tankier Beasts. Their party has purposefully avoided them, due to the fact that they’re pretty much unkillable without someone who can break armor easily and Dedue and Dimitri are both busy. 

Sylvain is online, but he’s not even 30 yet. He can’t even get into most of the areas the rest of the party is walking around in. 

After the fight, Byleth moves the group to Garreg Mach. There’s an unspoken agreement that they all need a break.

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: Thank you so, so much for helping me!_

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: I would have been toast without you all._

_[groupchat] knightedfreya: Of course. We can’t let another player get killed by a DB of all things._

_[groupchat] ashetreearrows: I’m glad we got there in time. We were going in the other direction at first, but Byleth had a weird feeling so we turned around._

_[groupchat] ladyofmercy: Are you okay? Do you need anymore healing? _

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: No, i’m back to full health. Thank you though <3_

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: It’s so weird, I logged on and I was just practicing by myself but then my entire computer froze._

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: When it unfroze, I realized I was in Zanado. _

_[groupchat] knightedfreya: Maybe it was a bug? You should let the mods know._

_[groupchat] ladyofmercy: Oh! Your brother, Ceruleandragon, was looking for you._

_[groupchat] Byleth: You aren’t a mod like your brother?_

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: No, he doesn’t think that the stress would be good for me._

_[groupchat] Emeralddragon: I am technically part of the professors, but all I teach is fishing. _

In the voice channel, Ingrid laughs. “She’s perfect, Byleth. Someone else who can match your fishing love.”

“Yeah.” Byleth coughs. “Do I kick her from the group?”

“We should make sure she gets back to her brother. He seemed pretty concerned if he was sending messages to the worldchat,” Mercedes suggests. 

The answer is made for them as Ceruleandragon and two other mods run up to the group. Ashe feels his heart skip a beat. It’s embarrassing to be so affected by a bunch of pixels, but Thunderstrike is literally the best known Knight in the entire server. But then he realizes that Rhea, the mod of all the mods, is standing there too. 

Ashe could die and consider his life fulfilled. 

(Not really, he still wants to graduate and get married and do groundbreaking research on historical manuscripts, but in game. In game he could die happy.)

“Wow, she’s so pretty in game. I love her armor.” Mercedes lets out a dreamy sigh. “I can’t believe that Rhea’s actually standing in front of me!” 

Ashe does feel a bit better that he’s not the only one blown away.

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Sister, are you safe?_

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: What happened? You weren’t answering any of my messages._

_[worldchat] Emeralddragon: I don’t know. I was just grinding by myself when suddenly I got moved to the Zanado Canyon._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Rhea: If this is a bug, we will have to investigate it further._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Definitely. I’m glad you’re safe, sister._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: You acted like someone had kidnapped her IRL!_

_[worldchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: But I’m glad you’re safe, kid. _

_[worldchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Even if this is a game, which does not affect you in real life._

_[worldchat] Byleth: I’m glad that we could help her. _

_[worldchat] Emeralddragon: You should have seen it! I was corned against a Demonic beast and I thought that I would get reset for sure. _

_[worldchat] Emeralddragon: But then Byleth and their companions rescued me._

_[worldchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Haven’t we talked before, Byleth?_

_[worldchat] Byleth: Yes._

_[worldchat] knightedfreya: Emeralddragon was just as useful in the fight as any of us._

_[worldchat] knightedfreya: Don’t sell yourself short._

_[worldchat] [[Emeralddragon] bows at [knightedfreya]!_

_[worldchat] Emeralddragon: Thank you, but I really couldn’t have done it without you <3_

_[worldchat] Byleth: You have a natural talent for the game. _

_[worldchat] Emeralddragon: Well, I’ve been playing for a while too._

_[worldchat] Emeralddragon: It was a lot of fun, though! We should do real raids together, on purpose this time._

_[worldchat] [[Byleth] cheers at [Emeralddragon]!_

_[worldchat] [Mod] Rhea: Joining one of the strongest guilds, assisting them towards victory in many aspects of the game, saving your fellow players without promise of reward, and forming bonds with others…_

_[worldchat] [Mod] Rhea: Byleth, you’ve only just begun playing and yet you’re already very influential. _

_[worldchat] [Mod] Rhea: Do you have time to speak in the audience chamber? I think this is a conversation we should have away from prying eyes._

“Whoa,” Ingrid gasps. “Rhea wants to talk to you? That’s so cool! You have to go.” A moment of silence. “You are going, right?”

“Yes.” Byleth clicks a few things and suddenly leaves the party. “I think that she just wants to talk to me.”

“Probably,” Ashe agrees. “Do you want to stay in the Eris chat?” He wants them to, mostly because he wants to know what’s going to happen. He wouldn’t describe himself as nosey, but… he’s curious. Curiosity is perfectly natural. 

“I will, if you want,” Byleth replies.

“Yes please!” Mercedes giggles. “Sorry, this is just — it’s so cool! Our new friend is already one of the coolest players in the server, and you’ve only been playing for a little while.”

“Thanks.” Byleth sounds almost embarrassed? Ashe can’t tell. Byleth is pretty unemotional as it is. “I’ll let you know what happens.”

#

The audience chamber has a lot of people in it. Specifically, a lot of the mods seem gathered up as well as a host of curious players who want to see what’s going on. Byleth isn’t even there, not really, it’s just their avatar, but they still feel the curl of anxiety deep in their chest. They reach out for their favorite tangle, which is resting on their desk. It helps a little. They still are shaking, barely able to get their avatar into the room without running into a wall. 

And this is _fewer_ people than outside. 

_[[Mod] Rhea has invited you to join their party!]_

_[Accept?]_

_[Yes.]_

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Thank you, Byleth, for agreeing to speak with us. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: Yes! _

_[groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Welcome, Byleth! _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Hello._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Yo._

_[groupchat] Byleth: Of course._

_[groupchat] Byleth: What did you want to speak with me about?_

Byleth is typing so slowly since they have to use just one hand, but they also think they might actually have a panic attack if they stop fidgeting. The worldchat is going wild. They have to actually mute it in order to focus on what’s actually important. 

They do see Ashe, Ingrid, and Mercedes cheering them on. That makes something in Byleth’s chest stir. It takes a moment for them to realize that they’re smiling. They don’t smile much.

_[groupchat [Mod] Rhea: How have you been finding the game so far?_

_[groupchat] Byleth: I enjoy it a lot. _

_[groupchat] Byleth: There’s… something going on in my personal life. The game has been very nice._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: You don’t have to share if you don’t want, but do you mind if I ask what that is?_

_[groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Have you already been drinking? This isn’t some kind of investigation._

_[groupchat] Byleth: It is okay._

_[groupchat] Byleth: My father died. I began playing a week after._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I am so sorry to hear that._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: I’m sorry for your loss._

_[groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: You have all of our sympathies._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: Yes, definitely. My apologies, I didn’t mean to bring up a difficult topic._

“What’s going on? Are they giving you something?” Ashe asks suddenly. _Snap!_ Byleth is jolted out of the moment. They look at their tangle, which is now cracked. They drop it off their desk and reach for a more sturdy toy, their fidget cube. 

“They’re asking questions.” Byleth swallows. “I’m not sure what they want.” 

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: What do you make of the Blue Lions? _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Are you happy you picked them? _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I imagine that both the Golden Deer and Black Eagles invited you as well._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: You know, I used to be a member of the Blue Lions._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Not for long, since I became a mod basically after beta, but it was fun._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: How is Dimitri? _

_[groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Actually, all of us helped found most of the guilds that are still around today. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: I was with the Black Eagles, for example. _

_[groupchat] Byleth: Dimitri is good._

“They’re asking about the guild,” Byleth says. 

“Oh, maybe they want more information before the Competition of Champions?” Ingrid wonders. “Though usually they just send out a survey…”

“And they would have asked Dimitri or you, right? Not that you aren’t important, Byleth! But Ingrid’s been here for a long time,” Mercedes explains. Byleth hums in agreement. 

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Glad to hear he’s good. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Guy takes the game too seriously._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Not very mod-like of you, is that?_

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: I know how to have fun, Seteth._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: It is a /game/ after all._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Rhea, is there a point to this? If you just want to discuss the guild, then perhaps I will take my leave…_

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I understand._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Byleth, I have a question for you._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Would you like to become a mod? _

“Is everything okay?” Mercedes asks. “You sound worried.” 

Byleth hadn’t realized that they made a noise. They shake their head, trying to clear it. 

“Yes. Sorry, I’ll be back.” They exit the voice channel without further explanation. A brief moment of — of guilt? Of sorrow? Something hits them. Still, they need to focus and they can always explain later. 

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: You must be joking._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: We don’t know anything about Byleth._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: They’ve been playing the game for less than a month. How can we make them a mod now?_

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: If Rhea wants them to be a mod, then I trust Rhea._

_[groupchat] Byleth: Are you sure?_

_[groupchat] Byleth: I don’t even know what that involves._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: You would start with basic responsibilities. But the majority of your tasks would be things you already do._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Ensure peace among the players. Guide the lower level players through the beginning of the game. Support the overall health of the game. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Be a teacher for other players. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Rhea, could we talk about this?_

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I acknowledge your disagreement with my decision, Seteth. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Do you trust me, Seteth?_

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: … Yes, I do._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: I suppose this could be a moot point. Byleth, do you even want to accept?_

_[groupchat] Byleth: Would I have to leave the Blue Lions?_

_[groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Mods are supposed to be impartial. Otherwise, how could be hand down judgements to players who break the rules?_

_[groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: You also have a repeat offender in the Blue Lions. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: It would not be proper. _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: But we are exploring some… options._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I would not make your decision based on that question. _

_[groupchat] Byleth: Can I think about it? _

_[groupchat] Byleth: It’s a big decision._

_[groupchat] Byleth: I appreciate the offer, I just… need time._

_[groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: This is a prestigious offer. What’s there to think about? _

_[groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I understand. Take your time, Byleth. We will be in touch._

Byleth doesn’t even bother to send a PM to any of the Blue Lions. They just log off the game entirely. They push away from the desk, standing up so they can pace. Their mind is whirling as fast as their heart is beating. Instinctively, they glance over to where Jeralt’s journal is sitting.

Even though they’ve already read it cover to cover, they still pick it up and start flipping through again. Maybe there’s something they missed. Something that explains more about the situation. Why Jeralt is in the game as an NPC, why Rhea is so interested in Byleth. 

But there’s nothing new, nothing else has appeared in the pages. Just different musings on different days ever since he was diagnosed with death. Then, on the final page and in shaky handwriting: Fire Emblem and the information for Byleth’s account. 

“Jeralt… What does all of this mean?” Byleth wonders. The pages don’t answer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was originally part of a longer chapter but then I realized that chapter was over 10k so uh.....
> 
> Here we go. The shorter chapter three. I may or may not update sometime this upcoming week, so keep an eye out for possibly two chapters this week.
> 
> Also major trigger warning for gore, a character experiencing delusions, and a panic attack. If this disturbs you, skip over the part after "Annette doesn't know what to say to that. No one else speaks." Pick up again at “He’s okay,” Ingrid tells the group." I'll drop a short summary of what happens at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> Onward!

_[guild] not_house_gaudy_3: why is it that everything cool happens when I’m afk???_

_[guild] knightedfreya: Stop getting banned and maybe you’ll be able to participate more._

_[guild] yumyum: This is so cool!!! I’m so happy for you, Byleth :D_

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you._

_[guild] theboarprince: did they say what they want you to do? _

_[guild] lucky_strike: Obviously, they are supposed to give us an advantage in the upcoming competition._

_[guild] lucky_strike: We automatically win if every one of our enemies is banned for misconduct, right? _

_[guild] ofduscur: That would be cheating._

_[guild] lucky_strike: That was a joke._

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: They have been searching for a new mod for several months._

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: Rhea just said that I made a good candidate. _

_[guild] ashetreearrows: So she just made the decision and everyone else agreed?_

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: They voted on it._

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: The one called Ceruleandragon — the brother of Emeralddragon — didn’t approve. But he said that he would listen to Rhea. _

_[guild] theboarprince: when do you leave the guild?_

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: They haven’t said anything about that yet. I’m allowed to remain until the announcement is official. _

_[guild] knightedfreya: Probably patch day, then. They always make big announcements then._

_[guild] ashetreearrows: That’s only three days away!_

_[guild] yumyum: Oh no :(_

_[guild] yumyum: Can you still do raids with us? _

_[guild] ofduscur: This is good news for you, Byleth. Congratulations on your new title._

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: I think that should be fine. Rhea hasn’t told me very much._

_[guild] theboarprince: when thunderstrike left to be a mod, she still did a few raids with us._

_[guild] ashetreearrows: She did? Oh, that’s so cool. _

_[guild] ashetreearrows: I can’t believe that she used to be a member of the Blue Lions!_

_[guild] not_house_guady_3: I remember that. she helped until we had enough high level members to keep doing level 50 raids._

_[guild] theboarprince: about raids, i know we haven’t been doing full party raids recently. _

_[guild] knightedfreya: It’s okay, we know you’ve been busy._

_[guild] yumyum: Your IRL comes first!!! ^^_

_[guild] lucky_strike: Speak for yourselves. I want new stuff. _

_[guild] ofduscur: You already have the best gear._

_[guild] lucky_strike: The best gear right now. Patch in three days, supposed to be the biggest update since the master class release._

_[guild] lucky_strike: I’m not going to be behind just because our guild leader can’t get his shit together._

_[guild] knightedfreya: It’s just two weeks, Felix. It’s not like we haven’t done a raid in months._

_[guild] lucky_strike: And we’ve never missed a raid since the start of this guild._

_[guild] lucky_strike: Sorry if I’m a bit concerned about this, Ingrid._

_[guild] ladyofmercy: Guys, we could always do a raid tonight. All of us are on, right?_

_[guild] not_house_guady_3: hey, what about me??? I’m still lower then average._

_[guild] knightedfreya: *than_

_[guild] theboarprince: if people want to raid, then get on chat._

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

“I thought you’d never ask,” Felix drawls before the chorus of _hellos_ and _hey guys_ drowns out any chance for banter. He makes sure that he’s on push to talk before telling Sylvain, “Get on anyways. I’ll just have to carry your low-level ass.” 

“Anything over 40 is going to insta-kill me,” Sylvain complains, but he joins the voice chat. “Hey, everyone. Your favorite wyvern rider has arrived.”

“I don’t see Claude here,” Ingrid says. The group bursts into laughter. If Felix strains his ears, he swears he can even hear Dedue chuckling. 

Felix’s desk set up usually means he has his back to Sylvain, but they aren’t doing the raid yet so he leans back in his chair and glances at Sylvain out of the corner of his eye. Sylvain clutches his chest in a dramatic fashion as he exudes poorly designed poetics about how Ingrid hurts him with her cruel, cruel, cruel words. He’s an idiot and he looks stupid, Felix decides. Both his stupid face and the ridiculous tank top — which says _sun out, guns out_ in garrish teal — and the way his red hair sticks up all the time since he spends hours on it — 

“Are we going to get started?” Felix interrupts, turning back to face his computer. “I don’t know what time it is for the rest of you, but I have shit to do tomorrow.” 

“We’re catching up, Felix. It’s almost like we’re friends who don’t talk enough,” Annette chides. She’s probably sticking out her tongue. Felix resists the urge to do the same. 

“I actually do have class really early in the morning,” Ashe admits. “I like talking to you guys, but maybe this weekend.” 

“Oh! We should do a movie night soon,” Mercedes suggests. 

Sylvain groans so loud that Felix can hear him in both his headphones and the actual room. “Only if Dedue isn’t allowed to pick the movie. If I have to watch another experimental film, I’m going to join the Black Eagles.”

“We know that you would prefer films of a more adult manner,” Dedue deadpans.

“Ooooooh!” Ashe and Annette both cry out. Felix snorts. Sylvain claims he’s offended, but Felix can hear the smile in his voice. 

_[theboarprince has invited you to join their party!]_

_[Yes.]_

Felix can’t help a small smirk appear as the other Blue Lions join the party. Soon all nine of them are together, all with their best gear. When they do smaller raids, sometimes they’ll just put on junk and run through easy stuff for fun. Well, everyone but Felix. He only keeps the best equipment. He doesn’t believe in cluttering his inventory with stuff he’s never going to use. 

(Once he made the mistake of forcing Dimitri to send him a picture of his inventory. Felix almost demanded Dimitri’s login information to fix it.)

“We’re going to Zanado. Any objections?” Dimitri asks. The chat is quiet.

When it’s raid night, even an impromptu one, everyone’s game face is on.

As soon as he loads in, Felix hits ready. The others take time, adjusting their spells and abilities or modifying their armor. He watches Ingrid switch out spears, Sylvain strap on new armor, and even Dedue puts on a new belt. Byleth doesn’t have anything else to change. In fact, they’re still in the armor they first appeared with. They use a silver sword, which is surprisingly basic. Felix has been using his sword of Zoltan since level 40. 

Still, if Byleth can keep up with everyone else, then Felix doesn’t care. From what he’s seen, Byleth is more than competent enough. Not enough to threaten the competition Felix has with Dimitri on who can top the damage charts — and right now it’s Felix, so fucking take that — but good enough.

“All right. We wipe or we win. Understood?” Dimitri waits a moment. No one says anything. “Got it. Byleth, have you run this raid yet?” 

“No,” Byleth says. Felix realizes it’s the first time they’ve spoken in the voice chat since everyone got on. 

“That’s fine. I’ll lead. Sylvain and Ingrid, you two take out the trash. Ashe and Annette, provide cover fire over the biggest mobs. Dedue and I will draw the aggro. Felix, you and Byleth stick together and provide help with whoever needs it. Mercedes, stay alive. Don’t waste all your healing on Sylvain. Sorry.” Dimitri sounds like he’s been doing some reading. It’s an impressive change from his _speak loudly and carry the biggest stick_ strategy that’s been his bread and butter since day one. 

Felix isn’t stupid enough to say anything about it. The others all voice their support of the plan, even Sylvain. If he doesn’t die in this raid at least once, then Mercedes deserves a medal. 

“All right, let’s go. I’m getting bored,” Felix states simply. He begins to toggle the ready button on and off. At least, he does until Sylvain pelts him with an eraser to the back of the head. “Hey!” Felix glares at him. 

Sylvain gives him an innocent look. “Apartment ghost did it,” he claims.

“Let’s get started before I kill Sylvain in real life,” Felix tells the group. 

“Understandable,” Ingrid says. “I think we’re ready whenever you are, Dimitri.”

“Good.” Dimitri hits _Ready_ and the countdown starts. Felix leans forward, flexing his fingers. He blocks out the noise of his computer fans whirling, the ambiant music of the game itself, even the background noise from the voice chat. 

When the raid loads, he’s ready. His level 50 swordmaster, decked out in ultra rare equipment, looks fucking awesome. Felix doesn’t let himself think about the upcoming fencing tourney, the fact that his father keeps asking when he can come visit, or the horrifying fact that his thesis proposal is due in a week and he doesn’t even have a topic of interest. He definitely doesn’t let himself think about the way Sylvain is distracting in his stupid, ridiculous, ugly tank top with his stupid laugh and stupider face.

“I’ve got the trash on the right. Sylvain, take out the trash that I miss,” Ingrid orders.

“The first boss is weak to fire,” Dimitri reminds the group. 

“Don’t get hit by the acid spray!” Mercedes cries. “I can’t heal all of you at once.”

“Muwahahaha! Burn, burn my pretties!” Annette croons, her furious mouse clicking coming through the mic. 

Yeah, this is way better. 

#

"Okay, okay, sorry I'm late but I am literally running up the stairs to my dorm right now!” Annette cries, almost face planting on the ground as she stumbles over the top step. Her phone is in one hand, her bag in the other. One earbud is dangling loose, having refused to go in on the first, second, or third attempts. 

“You’re only a little late,” Mercedes says at the same time as Felix tells her to hurry up. 

The guild has a few traditions. Raid nights happen twice a week. Movie nights happen once a month, or more if it's summer. And patch day is something they never, ever miss. It’s kind of silly, but Annette loves it. There’s something that’s just fun about sitting down with friends to read the patch notes together, discuss what they should do differently, and just chat. 

Besides, even when Dimitri is having bad days he’s always certain to sit down for patch days and go through everything, even if it’s the midseason patch that includes a boatload of new content.

“Don’t worry, Sylvain only got here a few minutes ago.” Ingrid throws Sylvain under the bus. He doesn’t complain, which is how Annette knows that she’s telling the truth.

“I am in my room!” Annette updates the group. “Okay, going onto my laptop now.” She pulls it out and slaps it down on her desk. The thing is a tank — it has to be, considering how clumsy she is — and whirls to life as she slams the enter button over and over again. 

“All right,” Dimitri says, “Now that we’re all here, we can start.” 

“Oh, I’m so excited! I’ve been avoiding information all day.” Mercedes claps her hands together. “I wonder if they’re finally going to add in marriages.” 

Felix makes a noise of disgust. 

“Don’t act like that,” Annette chides as she switches over to Eris on her laptop. “You know that if you had the choice, you’d get married to Dimitri.”

The entire chat bursts into laughter or protest. Felix is the only one protesting, but he’s so loud that he almost drowns out everything else. Even Dimitri is laughing, his deep rumble heard too little in the chat. Annette is torn between apologizing, explaining she meant in game, and laughing. She ends up doing mostly the latter, wiping at her eyes at the idea of Dimitri and Felix suffering through some kind of marriage ceremony to get a bonus to their damage or health or whatever.

If anyone were willing to suffer through that for some kind of benefit in a video game, it would be Dimitri and Felix. 

“No one is getting married to anyone,” Dimitri finally declares in his serious voice. Annette calls it his dad voice. Dimitri also hates that. “Besides, if I had to get in-game married to someone, it would be someone whose stats would benefit me better. Like Dedue.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Annette blurts out. She slaps her hands over her mouth. “Nevermind,” she squeaks.

“Dimitri, maybe we should just read the patch notes,” Ingrid politely suggests. Annette makes a mental note to send her a gift basket. One in game, that is, because she can afford that. 

“_Please,_” Felix begs. 

“Were we not supposed to read the notes already?” Byleth asks. Ashe coughs repeatedly, the fake kind of laughter that someone uses when they try to cover up for someone else. 

“Right, it’s your first patch day! I can’t believe we all forgot to tell you how it works,” Ingrid says. “We try to wait to read the notes together.”

“Maybe just don’t tell us anything before we read it, Mister — Miss — Mx. Mod?” Sylvain pauses. “Sorry.” 

“Mx. works fine,” Byleth says.

“Patch 4.4,” Dimitri says loudly. “Features and content. Adding additional language support for Duscur, Almyran, and Brigan. Still working on setting up independent servers for in the eastern region, more updates to come soon.” He stops suddenly. Annette doesn’t have to ask why, because she’s certain her eyes are as wide as saucers reading the next time.

“Fuck.” Felix breaks the silence. “That’s a big change.”

“Level Cap Update,” Dimitri reads. “As the game reaches its fourth year, we have realized that many players are either at or almost at the level cap and the lack of advancement has been frustrating for those who have been around since the beginning.”

“That’s us,” Sylvain unhelpfully points out.

“That’s not you, Mr. Banned Twice,” Ingrid shoots back.

“As a reflection of this, we have recently decided to update the level cap to 100. This means a great deal with balance, so we appreciate patience as all of our classes undergo heavy maintenance in the next few months. Expect many hot fixes and continue to report bugs as they come up.” Dimitri clears his throat. "Each class will have all new abilities, skills, progression paths and other fun surprises. Stay tuned for more information — each class will get a separate release over the next few weeks." 

"Oh man, I just got to level 41 and now I have another 60 to grind," Ashe realizes. 

"Think of it like this! By the time you get to level 80, they'll probably release another update for more levels," Sylvain points out. 

"Starting immediately," Dimitri continues, used to having to ignore interruptions, "all classes can reach level 60. The next 40 levels will be released over the course of the upcoming month as we check for balance, bugs, and general enjoyment." 

Annette wonders what other spells are going to come out. She has enjoyed playing as a warlock but she could always use more destructive power. Felix and Dimitri like to pretend that they solo carry the Lions but Annette can do just as much damage!... She's just a bit squishy, that's all. 

"As part of our goal to make the game more challenging for our most loyal players, we also will be releasing new items and equipment with each level update. These items will be available for all classes, though some need specific milestones to be unlocked." Dimitri clears his throat again. "Now seems to me a good time to mention we do not, as of right now, have any plans to add pets but it is something we want to explore in the future." 

"Maybe one day they'll add pet Lions to the game, then we can match!" Mercedes wonders. 

"That would be so cool," Annette agrees. "You have such good ideas, Mercie." 

"Hey, Felix, you'll finally be able to use a new sword and stop complaining about how there's nothing new for you," Sylvain points out. Felix doesn't reply, but Sylvain yelps loudly not a moment later. 

"Felix, don't kill your roommate," Ingrid chides.

"Don't do it when I can hear. I'm a mandatory reporter," Byleth deadpans. At least, Annette thinks it's a joke. She isn't sure. 

"Goddess, there's a lot today…" Dimitri coughs. Annette frowns. 

"Dimitri, if you wish for one of us to read the notes…" Dedue trails off, though he's saying what all of them are thinking. 

"I'm fine," Dimitri insists. Felix mutters something, but it's too soft for Annette to understand. "Ahem. Where was I…?" 

"New items," Dedue reminds him.

"Thank you. The new items will also mean adjustments will be made for the existing items that higher level players currently use. We will do our best to avoid excessive nerfs, but players over 40 are encouraged to keep an eye out for more updates." Dimitri snorts. "Sylvain, at least you don't have to worry about those." 

"I'm almost to 30," Sylvain complains. "You guys act like this happens all the time. It's the third time in years!" 

"Do many players get banned repeatedly?" Byleth asks. "I would think most correct their behavior after the first time." 

"Guys," Ingrid murmurs. "This is a long patch. Let's try to keep chatter down." 

"... Right." It sounds like Dimitri just took a huge gulp of water, that vaguely out of breath tone hard to pin down. "Next. Guild updates. We are proud to announce the creation of a new guild rank, one that we hope will decrease the barriers that new players often face in-game. The new role, Professor, will be assigned to the top fifty guilds in each server. Each Professor will either be a mod or a high ranking and well respected member of the community. Mods will work closely with guilds and the prospective Professors to ensure that placements are done properly." 

"What? Does that mean—" 

"Oh, this is great!" Ashe says. "So you get to stay with us now, Byleth?" 

"Yes. I have been waiting to share the news with you for some time. I found out when Rhea proposed adding me as a mod. I think it will be nice." Byleth pauses, which gives Ashe enough time to point out that now Byleth is a professor in real life and in game. "Ah…. Yes, you're right."

"That's awesome, Professor! Now we have an excuse to bug you for all those juicy mod details," Sylvain jokes. "But really, I'm glad you don't have to leave the guild." 

"Yeah, we really need the extra help while Sylvain is out," Ingrid says. 

"I'm there, I'm not dead," Sylvain complained. 

"Maybe this means you'll actually accept a duel with me," Felix taunts. Teases? Annette can't tell. "Only a few hundred gold. It'll be a, uh, learning experience for you." 

"Isn't the Professor supposed to be the one teaching you?" Ashe asks. 

"Only if I think I have something to learn." That is possibly the most Felix response Annette could have imagined. 

"Are you like this in your fencing too?" She wonders aloud. She has a weird, bubbly feeling in her stomach. Is she hungry? That doesn't make sense, she ate plenty at dinner. Maybe this is what relief is like.

Usually people leave and don't come back. She doesn't like to think about it. 

"He's worse," Ingrid mumbles. A laugh rolls through the group. 

"You don't have to call me Professor." Byleth sounds actually a bit embarrassed. "I'm still your… your friend." 

"Yes, you are," Mercedes insists. "And I know we're all so happy that you can stay with the guild." 

"It's very good news," Dimitri agrees. "I'm surprised you were able to keep it a secret for so long. It must have been a challenge."

Annette gasps. "Wait, do you know which of the mods are going to be assigned to other guilds?" She asks. 

"I don't. I think most of the guilds are going to have to decide over the next few days, but I know that everyone is supposed to be assigned by next week." Before Byleth can go on, Felix swears. 

"They're nerfing swordmaster again," he complains. 

"Felix!" Ingrid chides, temporarily taking Mercedes's Mom powers into her tone of voice. "You aren't supposed to read ahead." 

"I got bored. Yay, Byleth is staying. Can we please get to the balance guys?" 

"Yes. The—" Dimitri is cut off by a coughing fit. He mutes himself, which is normal but still makes Annette's stomach twist up inside and her heart race. She wants to ask if he's okay, but it's a stupid question. 

They all know he isn't. 

Her normal concern just about triples when Dimitri exits the chat. Mercedes audibly gasps. 

"Is… should someone check on him?" Ashe asks, voice soft. Without saying a word, Dedue leaves the chat. 

"Dedue will go make sure he's okay," Annette says. "I'm sure that Dimitri is fine. He'll get back on chat and tell us off for being worried." She isn't sure if she's trying to convince herself or the others. 

Felix snorts, unimpressed. 

"Yeah, because Dimitri is known for his excellent self-care regime." 

Annette doesn't know what to say to that. No one else speaks. 

#

Dimitri can't breathe. There's dust in his lungs. The air is thick with smoke and debris. His vision spins. Out of the shakey corner of his eye, he can see them. He can see his father, head split in half by a rock. He can see Glenn, missing an arm and crawling towards him with his guts spilling out of his body. 

There's blood in Dimitri's mouth. He's pretty sure it's real. He spits, just to be sure. A glob lands on his carpet. His vision isn't clear enough to tell whether there's blood there. 

"S… save… save us," Glenn rasps. 

"You… you left… us…" Lambert — Father — can barely speak. He doesn't have half his jaw. Blood pours out of what remains in his mouth. 

"No, I had to — I had to—" Dimitri is trying to — to do something. He can't remember. He can't breathe. His chest aches. His lungs are burning, crushed under the weight of his sins and the ghosts in his past. 

He’s on the ground. He doesn’t know when he got out of his seat, but that’s sideways. It takes him a moment to realize he must have fallen. He feels hot and cold all at once. He’s shivering now. His fingers twitch as his remaining eye burns. _No, you can’t._ He’s only got the one remaining.

“You could have saved us.” Glenn reaches out to grab Dimitri but stops, as if Dimitri is too filthy to even deserve the embrace of the dead. “You could have saved us.”

A cough shakes Dimitri, rattling his bones. He closes his eye, but that makes it worse. At least when it’s open he can tell that he’s in his apartment, the windows drawn and doors locked. 

He’s safe. He’s safe. At least, that’s what he tries to tell himself. 

Dimitri’s lungs ache, but the coughing subsides a few minutes later. Glenn and Lambert have resigned themselves to silent wardens, their remaining eyes — Lambert with only one, Glenn’s filled with blood — piercing into him in silent judgement. Dimitri has a sudden memory of when he was in academy, reading an ancient play by some long dead man. It was about a young prince who lost his father to murder and was honor bound by the ghost to take revenge. Dimitri wishes it were that easy. How could one person get revenge on so many? 

There’s frantic knocking on his door. Dimitri hears someone call out, but the words are muffled. He shakes his head. He doesn’t feel that woozy, but he suddenly realizes that his head is throbbing. He reaches up and gasps. There’s something wet and soggy — did he crack his skull open? Is he dead? Is that what Glenn and Lambert are here for, come to collect the one who shouldn’t have lived?

“Dimitri!” The door swings open. It knocks against the wall and the ensuing shudder shakes the bones of the apartment. Dimitri licks his lips. They’re chapped. “Dimitri!”

A hysterical laugh bubbles up from Dimitri’s lips and escapes before he can stop it. He can’t keep himself upright as it is. Now, he falls over to his side. His lungs hurt so, so much. He watches as Dedue walks through the ghost of his father, steps through Glenn, and kneels by his side. 

The glow from Dimitri’s screensaver casts a light over Dedue’s face, his silver hair sparkling. Dimitri realizes that he’s got tears in his eye and he brushes them away quickly, hoping that Dedue didn’t see them — though he is certain that Dedue must have. 

“Dimitri… It’s me. You’re safe. I’m here now.” Dedue’s voice is soft and low, a deep rumble like thunder promising rain. Dimitri doesn’t resist as Dedue sits him up. His fingers are soft as he pushes Dimitri’s hair behind his ears. “Where is your inhaler?” He asks. Dimitri shakes his head. His throat is too raw right now, his jaw too tight. He fears that opening his mouth will cause too much to come out. 

Dedue nods. He hesitates. Then Dedue helps Dimitri rest against his desk. “I will be back.” 

Dimitri whines, a sharp, pathetic noise. He grabs for Dedue’s hand, latching on once he has a grip. Dedue’s eyes soften further. 

“You need your medicine. I will get it for you.” Dedue presses his lips to Dimitri’s fingers. Dimitri is just cruel enough to feel happy about it. 

He nods once, letting his own grip loosen. Dedue is able to slip away and fetch Dimitri’s inhaler, no doubt more familiar with Dimitri’s apartment than Dimitri ever could claim. Indeed, it feels like he is gone for less than a moment before he has returned. He offers the inhaler to Dimitri, who greedily sucks in the air and lets his head clear. 

His skull is sore, though not broken open. He reaches up and prods the injury. Judging by the grimace on Dedue’s face, it’s unpleasant. Because he hasn’t bundled Dimitri off to the hospital, however, it must be relatively small.

“I think I fell out of my chair,” Dimitri explains. 

“You hit your head on your desk.” Dedue’s frown grows. “Do you still have the ice pack I brought over last time?” 

Dimitri shrugs. “I did not throw it away.” But he doesn’t know where it is either. His apartment is kept clean by a kind woman who visits every week and does all the housework. Dimitri is fortunate that he is, to put it lightly, filthy rich. He can get away with living like a pig.

Worse, living like a boar.

“Can you stand?” Dedue asks. Dimitri isn’t sure. Before he can answer properly, Dedue settles on his own conclusion. Without asking, Dedue bends down and sweeps Dimitri off his feet. Dimitri is over six feet tall and, despite his multiple issues, still rather heavy. Dedue lifts him like he is a child, one arm supporting Dimitri’s back and the other hooked under his knees. Dimitri blushes as he wraps his arms around Dedue’s neck, knowing there is no point in protesting.

“This is ridiculous.” He does anyway, because otherwise Dedue would fret more. 

Still, it is undoubtedly quicker than if Dimitri were to hobble over himself. He finds himself placed on the couch. Dedue props him up with multiple pillows and ensures that he has his inhaler in hand before standing once more. Dimitri feels a burst of panic.

“Are you leaving?” He asks. He winces at how desperate he sounds. 

“Never.” Dedue pauses. Dimitri would rather not dwell on the promise unsaid. “You need to eat so you can take your other medications, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you can stomach some soup?” 

Despite the situation, Dimitri smiles. “If it is yours, yes.” He frowns again. “I… Stay where I can see you?” 

Dedue mirrors his expression. “I cannot cook and be in the living room at the same time.” It’s true and Dimitri feels like a child for even asking. Before he can tell Dedue to forget it, Dedue brightens. “Oh, an idea.” Dedue fishes in his pocket and pulls his phone out. He taps on it a few times and Dimitri feels his own pocket buzz. 

Taking out his phone, Dimitri sees that Dedue wants to video chat him. Numbly, Dimitri accepts the invitation. On his screen, he can now see Dedue — albeit from an awkward angle. 

“Now you can see me while I am in the other room.” Dedue’s voice echoes between the two phones. Quickly, Dimitri mutes his end. He nods, not trusting himself to speak. Satisfied that this will suffice for the time being, Dedue goes into the kitchen. He sets the phone against the wall, able to capture the majority of his movements. Dedue is a large man and the kitchen is a small space. Even when he leaves the view of the camera, he is not gone for long.

Dimitri sits on the couch and holds his phone. He’s still muted so he can hear Dedue’s ever movement, every clattering pan and shake of a spice bottle. He can also hear Dedue humming softly, some song that Dimitri doesn’t recognize but can’t help but feel familiar with. Like the sensation of coming home, Dimitri lets it roll over him. He doesn’t look at his father, who sits on the end of the couch and is watching him with a single dead eye.

#

“He’s okay,” Ingrid tells the group. Felix releases a breath he would never admit to holding. “Dedue said he hurt his head, but he’s fine and he’s asleep now.”

“He doesn’t have much of a head left to get hurt,” Felix says, but his heart isn’t in it.

“Not now,” Mercedes snaps. It’s bad when Mercedes is mad, so Felix knows that he should shut up. 

Annette lets out a loud yawn. “I’m glad he’s okay, but I’m gonna go to bed too.”

“Yeah, I have to be up early.” Ashe sighs. “I guess we’ll have to finish reading the notes ourselves?” 

The rest of the patch notes aren’t that interesting. There’s some nerfs to swordmaster and buffs to wyvern riders, as well as a handful of minor tweaks to different equipment, but Felix doesn’t care if he doesn’t use them. He’s excited for the new level caps, but even that and the news that Byleth can stay with the guild is dampened by Dimitri’s fit. 

Maybe that’s unfair of Felix to call it that, but he doesn’t know what else it can be called. He’s only been there once, years and years ago, and he’s still convinced that no one else realizes how absolutely fucked Dimitri is. No one else talks about it. They just pretend that it’s completely normal for someone to cough all the time and have to drop out of a call and have someone check in on them to make sure they’re still alive. 

Yeah, perfectly normal.

“I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow,” Ashe says. He leaves amidst a chorus of bye and good night.

“Night,” Annette echoes as she leaves as well. Soon, it’s just Sylvain, Felix, Ingrid, and Byleth remaining.

“It’s not usually like this,” Ingrid tells them. “Dimitri probably forgot to take his medication tonight.” 

“He seems to have a great deal on his mind.” Byleth sighs. “I am afraid I must sleep. Please take care of yourselves. Good night.” They leave. Felix is surprised they don’t ask more questions. He supposes that they must experience mysteries all the time, what with being a teacher apparently. After all, teachers seem to know everything and nothing about their students. 

“Man, this sucks,” Sylvain says now that it’s just the three of them. “I wish it wasn’t the beginning of classes. If it was later, I could probably beg time off and see him.”

“He wouldn’t want to see us,” Felix snaps. “He tells us he’s fine and then he does this shit. Tomorrow, he’ll pretend everything’s all right. He’s a fucking asshole.” 

“Felix!” Ingrid cries out. “Don’t talk about your friend like that.”

“He’s not my friend,” Felix lies. “He’s an animal. He’d be living in his own filth if we let him.” _If Rodrigue didn’t force him to put on a human face. _

“I can’t believe you say that about your own friend. Do you ever think that maybe he doesn’t talk to us about things because you call him names like that?” Ingrid sounds close to tears. Felix knows he should back off, should say good night and sleep it off, but he doesn’t want to. “Dimitri needs our help.”

“He doesn’t want it. We can’t force him to accept our care and if he doesn’t want it, then I won’t bother offering it. A hunter doesn’t extend his hand to the bear and the deer doesn’t wait for the wolf.” Felix curls his lip in disgust. “You can keep pretending that he’s the same boy we grew up with, but I’m not a naive fool, Ingrid. I know what he is.” He closes the chat and slams his laptop shut with a bit more force than necessary.

“I’ll talk to him,” Sylvain says into his mic before leaving the chat himself. He turns to face Felix, but Felix stubbornly refuses to look him in the eyes. 

Felix starts walking around the room, outwardly to get ready for bed but in truth to work off the sudden burst of energy that courses through his veins. He wants to go pick a fight with someone. There’s a bunch of frat boys in the apartment downstairs — surely they’d love to fight a mixed race queer guy. But before he can do anything too stupid, Sylvain asks,

“Would you care for me if I got some bad disease?” 

It’s as if all the air in Felix’s figurative sails just went out. He lets out a heavy breath. He spins on his heel and crosses his arms, glaring down at Sylvain. He’s only able to do so because Sylvain is leaning back in his chair, arms behind his head without a care in the world. 

“That’s a stupid question,” Felix replies. “We don’t even know what’s wrong with him.” Well, Felix does. He just doesn’t know what it’s called — what can one say when their former friend _sees_ things and starts choking on dust that doesn’t exist?

Sylvain grins. “So that’s a yes? You’d care for me just like — just like Dedue cares for Dimitri?” 

“Don’t compare us to them,” Felix scoffs. He goes back to hunting for his pajamas. He thought he hung them up, but they aren’t in the closet. “I’m not in love with you.” 

“Right, but we’re old friends who care for each other. To quote Mercedes, toxic masculinity is pointless. Don’t tell me that your T stands for toxic masculinity.”

“You’re an idiot.” That does remind Felix, though, that he has to take his shot tomorrow. He’ll do it right before fencing. That’ll help him work through the burst in energy that it always gives. “Go to sleep.” His pajamas are in the wrong place in the closet. He doesn’t know why they’d be in the middle of his T-Shirts, but whatever. Mornings can be liminal spaces where the boundaries of normal space and time don’t apply. 

Also they’re out of coffee and both of them have been suffering in the meantime. 

“Whatever you say, Felix.” Sylvain stands. He stretches, his tank top rising just a handful of inches. Felix is facing the other direction, though, and doesn’t notice — well, maybe a bit out of the corner of one eye. 

He is focused on changing, though, and is glad for the silence before he remembers that Sylvain plus silence usually equals chaos. Felix spins around, pajama pants low on his hips, ready to yell at Sylvain but the redhead is just scrolling on his phone. 

Felix shivers and crawls into bed, turning the light off with great prejudice.

“Hey, Felix?” Sylvain asks. Felix doesn’t reply. “If you got some mystery disease, I’d take care of you.” 

It takes Felix a long time to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the section with Dimitri: 
> 
> Dimitri has difficulty breathing, triggering a panic attack. During this, he also sees the dead and horribly scarred bodies of Glenn and his father, Lambert. The bodies accuse Dimitri of abandoning them. Dimitri is jolted out of the experience when Dedue arrives at the apartment. Dedue fetches his inhaler and then carries Dimitri to the couch. 
> 
> Dedue then offers to cook food so Dimitri may take his other meds, but Dimitri insists that they remain within eyesight which isn't possible if Dedue cooks. Using their phones, they video chat so Dimitri can still see and hear Dedue. Dimitri waits on the couch, ignoring his father's dead body at the foot of the couch.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the good news: you get a chapter today.
> 
> Bad news: there will probably not be a chapter Sunday. I am tired and busy with IRL things that need to get done. Also I swear I'm going to develop wrist issues if I don't chill.
> 
> Neutral news: this chapter is like 8k long and after this chapter we are going to dive back into the Heavy Plot Stuff.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Good news! Seeds came out for the competition!" Mercedes says as soon as Byleth gets on the group chat. It seems like every time they get done with classes and sit down at home, at least two or three of the Blue Lions are already on. It's a constant reminder that Byleth is working full time and that everyone else is a student who can hop on between classes or whatever. 

Admittedly, Byleth hasn't quite figured out where everyone is. Ashe mentioned his school once, but everyone else is vague. Not like it matters, but it makes scheduling difficult. 

"What?" Byleth skims the updates that pop up when they log on. Nothing too new. Level cap getting raised to 70 on the live server in two days, even if no one has hit 60 yet. Byleth isn’t much of a gambling person, but they’d also place money on Dimitri or Felix getting there first. 

“For the competition. Every guild gets seeded randomly by the devs and they just released the results.” Mercedes sounds more excited than Byleth has ever heard before. She must really be looking forward to beating other players. “We got really lucky this year. At worst, we won’t have to face either the Black Eagles or the Golden Deer until the best of eight.”

Byleth decides they can grind fishing while they work on, well, real work. Higher level caps means more skill potential in everything. 

They aren't sure why their account began with so many levels in fishing, but it is the most fun non-combat skill in the game so they aren't complaining. Fighting is fun and they genuinely enjoy the raids and grinding, but they also can’t really do that and grade essays at the same time.

And they have a lot of essays to grade. 

“How can you even tell where we are?” Ashe asks. “I opened up the seeding and my computer almost crashed. I don’t envy the person who had to go through and make that…”

“It’s not that hard. You just open it up, control-f for the Blue Lions, and go from there.” Mercedes says it like it’s so easy. “Also Ashe, if you want, you can join me in Grondor Field. I’m hoping to get to level 45 by next week.”

“Whoa, that’s a lot of work — are you sure you can do that?” Ashe asks. Byleth has to agree with him. According to the guild page, Mercedes just hit 40. It takes a lot of hours to gain a level, with the amount of course increasing as one gets higher. 

“Well, I have to try. Dimitri has been… going through a lot. And this is so important to him. I know it would cheer him up if we won.” 

“This may be the professor in me speaking, but be sure to care for yourself too,” Byleth gently reminds Mercedes. They’re one to talk, but they’re an adult. They’re allowed to make bad decisions. “If you stop being able to see your screen properly, then you should stop.”

“Oh, I always make sure to get plenty of sleep. I just have to manage my time a bit better.” Mercedes giggles. “I usually volunteer at a soup kitchen near my school, but they insisted I take some time off since I haven’t had a weekend off in three years.”

“Three years? Wow, you really do commit yourself to things, don’t you?” Ashe sounds suitably awed. “And I feel like I’m busy when I have to work extra shifts at the library.” 

“What about you, Byleth? Are you very busy with teaching?” Mercedes asks.

“I ... suppose.” It dawns on Byleth that they haven’t told any of the Blue Lions about their father. They’re catching up on things, but it’s different. Still, now doesn’t seem to be the time to bring that up. “What else should I know about the competition?”

“It happens every year,” Ashe explains. “All of the guilds face off in basically a relay battle. Three teams of three, one after another, no resting or resetting between them. It can get pretty intense and planning is hard, but luckily we’re mostly in the same time zone.”

“Except for Sylvain and Felix — they’re a bit ahead,” Mercedes points out. Byleth didn’t realize that, but they shuffle away that information in case it comes up again. “I think you’ll be allowed to participate, which is good. Usually we have to pick up a fill for the competition.” 

“Or Felix uses one of his alternate accounts. He has three of them,” Ashe adds. “We just usually keep them out of the guild because he says they clutter the guild list.”

“I would think that Sylvain’s many banned accounts do that already,” Byleth comments. 

“Exactly!” Ashe sighs. “Felix isn’t too bad once you get to know him, but I think that I’d go nuts if I had to live with him. Although, I’m more surprised that Felix hasn’t killed Sylvain yet.”

“They live together, then? I thought they just spent a lot of time together.” Byleth pauses. “Are they…”

“Together? No,” Ashe says while Mercedes giggles. “Trust me, they’re not together at all.” 

“Felix gets very upset if you suggest he’s dating anyone,” Mercedes points out. “Like during patch day.”

Byleth has a lot of questions about what happened during patch day, but they also don’t want to put anyone on the spot by asking. So instead, they just hum in acknowledgement. “Well, whenever the competition is set to begin, I will do my best to be available.” 

“Oh! Has Ingrid not added you to our group calendar?” Mercedes asks. 

“The what?” 

“The calendar! I’ll send you the link in Eris.” Mercedes falls silent for a moment. Then Byleth hears a _ding_ as the message pops up. It’s a Googol Calendar invite. 

Byleth opens it up on their side monitor. They are entirely unsurprised and also astounded at the color-coordinated madness that is nine different schedules stacked on top of each other. Ingrid seems to have a lot of long stretches that are occupied. Felix does three things: school, fencing, and a handful of doctor’s appointments. 

Mercedes’s schedule makes Byleth’s head hurt, and not just because she’s decided to use bright yellow as her color. At first, Byleth doesn’t see Dimitri’s schedule but them they realize that he and Dedue both use the same shade of royal blue. 

All in all, Byleth can’t help but be impressed. They’ve been teaching for years and they’ve never seen anything like this when people do, well, just about anything.

“I guess this is where I say when I’m busy?” Byleth asks, just to make sure.

“Yeah! And if you just want to say you’re busy, that’s fine. We all know each other really well, so there’s not a lot of secrets or anything.” Mercedes says it so nicely that Byleth would feel bad if they did keep anything secret.

They do put in an ambiguous meeting when they’ll be spreading their father’s ashes. No point in worrying a bunch of people who could be their students. 

“It’ll be so much fun,” Mercedes is saying. “I have a good feeling about this year. There’s no way we’re going to lose!”

#

“Team KTBTKY, or KT for short, will go first. Hit them hard and hit them fast. Team Never Die is second. Your goal is to whittle any last defenses down and try to draw out the long cooldowns and battle res’s. Then, if you fall, Byleth and I will go in with Sylvain and clean up whatever is left.” Dimitri pauses. “Any questions?”

“I have one,” Felix says.

“Do we get a cool name?” Sylvain asks.

“Deadweight,” Dimitri admits.

“Oof,” Ashe says as Felix snickers. “That’s harsh, don’t we think—”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Dimitri. You’re not that useless,” Sylvain teases. That draws a louder laugh from the group. Dimitri rolls his eye. 

“Felix, you had a question?” He asks, rather than giving Sylvain more attention. 

“Yeah, have you had more than three hours of sleep in the last week? Because the guild log wants me to believe that you’re already level 58 and unless you’ve found hacks that work or you’ve been afk grinding, like, fishing then you’re insane,” Felix accuses him. 

Dimitri wants to argue, but admittedly he isn’t sure how much sleep or food he has been getting. He turns his head so he can look at Dedue, who is set up on his laptop and sitting on the couch in Dimitri’s office. Dedue is wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt that doesn’t fit him properly. It’s Dimitri’s shirt. There’s no way it will ever fit Dimitri again. 

He’ll still wear it when Dedue leaves. 

“Yes, Dimitri?” Dedue asks. “Do you need something?” 

Dimitri realizes he’s staring. He blushes and looks away, mumbling for Dedue to forget it. Dedue unmutes himself so he can tell the group that Dimitri is getting an acceptable amount of rest. The implication goes ignored — the dead horse that is Dimitri’s inability to take care of himself has been beaten into a pulp. 

“Does anyone have any _other_ questions?” Dimitri asks.

“So when we win, we’re going to rub it in the faces of the Eagles and Deer, right?” Sylvain says. 

“Good talk,” Ingrid cuts in before Sylvain can drag the conversation more off topic. “Our first match is against a guild called the Dawn Brigade. It’s in two hours. Felix and Annette, do you want to do a bit of grinding together?” 

“Sure,” Felix says.

“Sounds like a good idea! Let me grab a snack first though. I’ll be right back.” Everyone is treated to the fun sound of Annette dropping her headphones on her keyboard and running off. 

“Well, I’m going to try to do some homework so I’m slightly less behind,” Ashe admits. “Not — Not like I’m that behind, Professor!” 

“Ashe, please. Call me Byleth. And I don’t care, I’m not your teacher.” 

“I know, but I feel bad.” 

Dimitri remembers worrying about grades. It feels like another lifetime ago. “Ashe, go do your work,” he says, trying to be encouraging but just coming across as harsh. Ashe practically squeaks before logging off the game and leaving the voice chat. 

“Dimitri, are you hungry?” Dedue asks, having muted himself in the group chat once more. Dimitri shakes his head. “You haven’t eaten all day.” Dedue, Dimitri realizes, is not using his gentle concern tone of voice. He’s using his polite insistence voice, which is much more intimidating. 

“It appears that I am being forced to eat. Dedue and I will return,” Dimitri tells the remaining Lions. 

“Eat something sweet!” Mercedes encourages. 

“Bye,” Ingrid says.

“I will see if we can get Sylvain to level 34,” Byleth adds. Dimitri knew that they were a good addition to the guild.

Dedue makes him eat some creamy soup. Dimitri can’t really taste most of it, but Dedue has long since adapted his cooking style so that Dimitri can still enjoy it. Admittedly, it is nice to sit at the dining room table rather than his desk. And now that there’s food in front of him, Dimitri realizes that he is hungry.

“When do you have to go?” Dimitri asks. 

“I will stay as long as you need,” Dedue replies. 

And ah, yes, that is the problem. 

“You should go back home tomorrow,” Dimitri says. “I am certain your plants miss you.” He tries to pass it off as a joke. It’s debatable how well he does. 

Dedue holds his gaze for a long, long moment. Dimitri prepares himself for the argument. But then Dedue nods.

“Okay.” They don’t talk about it for the rest of the afternoon.

#

The guild rolls over the first few rounds of the competition. Felix alone racks up dozens of kills. He might not be grinding as much as Dimitri, but he doesn’t have to — he’s still stronger than most people can even dream of and he doesn’t hold anything back when it comes to PVP. Annette also hits a new threshold, maxing out of her warlock class and starting to level in gremory. Ingrid rounds out Team Kill Them (Before They Kill You) as the most mobile, killing a lot of the healers and snipers. 

When it comes to Team Never Die, Dedue does what he does best: doesn’t die. Mercedes parks herself behind Dedue, Ashe finds some highground, and they just outlast the enemy. It’s simple, easy to execute, and surprisingly effective. 

Personally, Byleth is proud of how well they fight with Dimitri and Sylvain. For as much as the guild likes to drag Sylvain, he’s honestly a good player even when he’s a low level. But Dimitri — who hits 60 first out of everyone in the server and gets a shoutout in the game hotfix patch notes, which is pretty cool — wipes the field with everyone they face. 

The first week is the most intense week since Byleth has started playing. They’re a little embarrassed to say that their classes are probably suspicious of how tired they are all the time, but they’re still teaching and grading and doing adult things like grocery shopping so it’s okay. 

They also are playing an MMORPG instead of sleeping for the fourth time this week, but they aren’t alone. They can see that Dimitri has been on for the last fourteen hours. 

_[Conversation with theboarprince]_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Hey._

_[whisper] theboarprince: hey._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Not sleeping?_

_[whisper] theboarprince: no._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Dedue went home?_

_[whisper] theboarprince: yeah. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: How long have you been awake?_

_[whisper] theboarprince: a while._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Do you want to play together?_

_[whisper] theboarprince: not really. _

_[whisper] theboarprince: i am not very good company tonight. my apologies._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I understand. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: If you wish to talk about anything, I am here. As both your friend and as a mentor._

_[whisper] theboarprince: i thought you didn’t want us to treat you like a teacher?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: But I can still help you._

_[whisper] theboarprince: thank you. but no thank you. _

_[End of conversation with theboarprince]_

Byleth sighs. They try to focus on the game, but they keep looking at the tabbed conversation. Dimitri doesn’t say anything, doesn’t get in the Eris chat. He’s just grinding in Gondor Fields, probably soloing Demonic Beasts or something. 

The only noise in Byleth’s headphones comes from the game. Byleth still sits in the chat anyways. Maybe Felix will get up early and want to practice together, or Annette will have a new combination she wants to try and need help. 

Or maybe they’ll just play until they can’t keep their eyes open, convinced that maybe the key to understanding everything is playing enough. Sothis hasn’t said anything since their last conversation when she gave the quest to Byleth. The quest which is still unfinished, even after they spoke with every mod and every NPC in Garreg Mach. Twice. Or, with the charming Gatekeeper, multiple times. 

Well, almost every NPC. 

All signs point to the fact that they have to speak to — to the NPC wearing Jeralt’s face. But they can’t do it. They aren’t even sure what exactly they’re scared of, but they can’t. 

The game has definitely become a special interest, but there’s so much that they still feel out of their depth. Maybe because they’re avoiding any information on the lore of the game. There’s snippets in the game itself, of course. The idea is that it takes place is some ancient Fódlan, but anything else — why there are Demonic Beasts, what Garreg Mach is supposed to be, and the vague in-game religion — is a mystery to Byleth.

They’ll read about it someday. Probably the same day they speak to the NPC wearing Jeralt’s face. 

_Ding!_

“So why is our professor awake this late?” Dimitri asks, voice rough with exhaustion. A million answers come to mind, many of them lies, but instead—

“I’m spreading my father’s ashes next weekend.” Byleth winces. What unknown social rule have they broken this time? “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? I am sorry to hear that.” Dimitri chuffs. “Just don’t breathe in any of them. It might have bad effects on your health.” 

Byleth isn’t sure if that’s a joke or not. They’re pretty bad at picking up on jokes as it is, but even Dimitri’s usual deadpan is… Well, a bit more obvious. 

“That was a poor joke, sorry,” Dimitri says, as if sensing Byleth’s confusion. "I…. I'm dying." 

Byleth also isn’t sure how to react to that. Maybe they’re mishearing Dimitri — they did have three lectures today… 

"Is that… a joke?" Byleth asks. 

"Unfortunately not." Dimitri sighs. "Have you heard of pulmonary fibrosis?" 

"Not really. I'm a history teacher." Byleth knows a lot about brain tumors, a lot about how chemotherapy will bankrupt you and will kill you, just slower than the cancer can. But they don’t think that’s worth mentioning. 

Dimitri lets out another sigh. Deep and low and heavy. "It's a lung disease. You slowly lose the ability to breathe until…" He clears his throat. It seems rather ominous. 

"That's why you cough all the time." Byleth hopes they don't sound accusatory or aggressive or, even worse, bored. Now is the time to display emotion, but they can barely think of the right words to say. Dimitri — he can’t be that old. Byleth knows most of the Blue Lions knew each other as kids and they’re almost all still in college… 

Byleth wonders, briefly, if they’re just cursed to watch everyone around them die. It’s stupid and they refuse to dwell on it. 

"I… am sorry,” they say. “There is no cure?" 

"Not really. I don't qualify for a lung transplant. Even if I did, why… I would not get it." Dimitri doesn't expand on that and Byleth doesn't ask him to. "My father died when I was 14. He…. He was a good man. So I understand what it is like to lose a parent." 

"I'm sorry your father is dead." Byleth pauses. "If he raised you, then he must have been good." 

"Do you really think that?" There's surprising vulnerability in the question. "You must have heard what Felix says about me. And you’ve seen — seen how I can act. Knowing that, would you still say that I'm a real person? I mean — a good one." 

Byleth muffles a yawn, not wanting Dimitri to get the wrong impression. They aren't sure what to say, so they go with the truth. 

"You care about the guild but — but more than a normal guild leader. As a friend. A person. You never back away from a challenge whether it is your own or another's. I know you have been helping buy Ashe new gear and you never insult Annette over her singing. It would be easy for you to be mad or frustrated with Sylvain, but you challenge him to be better. 

"Even with Felix… you two fight a lot and about everything, but he follows what you say. He does listen to you. And he wouldn't do that if he didn't care about you and respect you." 

"He has an odd way of showing it," Dimitri mumbles. 

"You're a good person, Dimitri. I am glad I picked your guild." 

Dimitri snorts. "I know Ingrid basically bribed you. She told me herself. It wasn't my amazing diction that convinced you to join." 

"Maybe. But there were a lot of reasons I ended up staying. I didn't have to become the Professor for the Blue Lions." 

“I… suppose I had not considered that.” Dimitri pauses. He seems on the brink of saying something, but every time he stops himself. Byleth waits patiently. They’re in no rush. Sometimes it seems that they have all the time in the world. “I am glad that you’re part of the Blue Lions, Byleth. I wish that it was under better circumstances.” 

Byleth doesn’t know what to say to that, so they type a request in game. Dimitri snorts when he sees it.

_[theboarprince has joined the party!]_

“Are you coming to me or do I come to you?” Dimitri asks. 

“I will go to you. There are the flying Demonic Beasts there, and I want to try my new spell.” 

The two of them play until Byleth goes to sleep. Dimitri doesn’t sleep.

#

Felix slams the door open and throws his bag on the floor. Even in the bedroom, one earphone blaring rock and the other dangling loose, Sylvain can hear him march through the apartment like he’s got a million dollars on his elephant impression. Sylvain types a quick “brb” to the group — he’s too tired to be in the voice chat and besides, he’s grinding flight which neither Ashe nor Annette care about — before heading out of the bedroom.

Felix is in the kitchen, glaring at the fridge like it insulted his dead mother. He slams it shut after a moment. It rattles so hard that Sylvain is convinced his best friend is about to be killed by a shitty fridge. But the crisis is averted as Felix goes to the pantry, as if the solution to his woes is there. 

“Do you want to—”

“No.” Felix doesn’t even look at him. Which, admittedly, is fine with Sylvain. This way he can see how Felix is sweating, how he keeps sighing, how his cheeks are red. Importantly, Sylvain can see how Felix is sucking air in like a dying fish.

Felix, Sylvain realizes, is about to cry. 

Asking him anything is the number one way to get Felix _not_ to share anything, so Sylvain just waits. He watches Felix pull out a bag of Cheetos, switch that for pasta, switch that out for beef jerky, and then finally throw the jerky across the room out of frustration when he can’t get the plastic open because of how much his hands are shaking.

He then grabs a box of cereal, a bowl, and —

“I think we’re out of milk,” Sylvain says.

Felix punches the fridge. He isn’t strong enough to damage it, but there is a loud crack and Sylvain instantly rushes to his side. Felix looks less like he wants to cry and more like he’s going to burn the apartment down in rage. It’s somehow less frightening. 

“Come on, let’s sit down somewhere with fewer things for you to break,” Sylvain suggests. Felix resists at first, but eventually Sylvain gets him over to the crappy, second-hand couch. 

When they get there, Felix puts his hands in his lap. His hands are fists. He won't let Sylvain look at the hand that is turning a frankly concerning shade of purple, but Sylvain knows a lost battle when he sees one. Instead he waits. He doesn't try to touch Felix, but their thighs are pressed together by sheer proximity. Sylvain wonders if it burns Felix the way it burns him. 

"He's too busy to come to the tournament," Felix spits. Sylvain's first thought is _of course he's too busy, did you think he'd ever come?_ But he doesn't say that. 

"I'm sorry, man. That sucks." 

"He wants to visit next weekend instead, because that's the only time he can leave the company in the next four months I guess." 

_Ouch._ Sylvain knows, logically, that he owes Rodrigue a lot for taking him in like a third son. But emotionally, Rodrigue's about as capable as Felix. Maybe even less so, which is the truly terrifying thought. 

"He's being a dick," Sylvain agrees. "Don't worry about it. We'll just spend that weekend drinking and picking up girls or something—" 

"I'd rather spend the weekend with my father." 

_Okay, that hurts._ Sylvain tries not to let it show. He puts a hand on Felix's shoulder, squeezing gently. Felix turns away, at least as much as he can on a narrow couch. 

"I don't want to talk to you." He's trembling. He doesn't push Sylvain away. That's why Sylvain keeps talking, asking, 

"What do you want to do? We can grind all day or go to the gym—" 

"Has it ever occurred to you that I might want to actually face my problems instead of running away from them?" Felix asks, standing suddenly. He marches off to the bedroom and Sylvain scrambles to follow. "Stop following me around, it's annoying. You aren't a dog." 

"You've never wanted to face them before," Sylvain snaps. Felix spins around. Sylvain can feel the color draining from his face. "I — I just meant—" 

"I know what you meant, Sylvain. Leave me alone." Felix stares at him, arms crossed. 

"It's my apartment too," Sylvain says, because he's an idiot. 

Felix actually screams incoherently. Sylvain steps back, realizing that he might be very out of his depth. 

"Maybe for once in my life, I think that I want my own damn father at one of my fucking tournaments. Maybe I'm sick of being a footnote in his life or some kind of secret because the good son died and he's stuck with the fucked up, fake son!" Felix stops, eyes wide. Sylvain doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what to say. 

He never knows what to say. 

"You… you aren't a fake," he mumbles, feeling wholly inadequate. 

There's a deep, horrible silence. 

"You're an idiot." Felix pushes past Sylvain. He leaves the apartment. The slammed door rattles the walls. 

"You're an idiot," Sylvain echos. 

He barely realizes what he's doing as he calls Ingrid. What time is it for her? Is she even by her phone or is she busy with a club or class? Fuck, Sylvain doesn't even remember what time it is for Ingrid. 

"Sylvain?" She sounds about as confused as he is. "Are you okay?" 

"I — I think I fucked up." 

Ingrid sighs. "Please don't tell me you got banned again." 

Sylvain would be offended, but honestly that's a fair assumption. "I think Felix — I know Felix is mad at me." 

Ingrid lets out another sigh, the long suffering my friends are idiots but I love them kind of sigh. Sylvain wants to defend himself, but he keeps seeing the look in Felix's eyes and he can't bring himself to say anything. He doesn't deserve it. Let Ingrid drag him over the coals — it's less than what Felix would do. 

"Tell me what happened." 

#

Byleth is a very realistic person. Distant hope and optimism is for people who have the security of failure. Byleth wouldn’t say that they’re negative. That’s too… _negative._ But they are genuine when they say,

“If Felix does not arrive in the next ten minutes, we have no chance of winning.” Their poor tangle is feeling the brunt of their stress, the plastic turning and spinning in their free hand. 

Sylvain groans. “I know! I’ve been texting him for the last hour, but he hasn’t even read any of them—”

“No one is blaming you,” Byleth interrupts. 

“You can’t control Felix, Sylvain. No one can. But if he doesn’t show up, who is going to be our ninth?” Ashe asks. “Can we even invite someone else at this point?” 

“The competition rules state we need to announce any roster changes 24 hours in advance,” Mercedes tells the group. “Sylvain, if Felix’s computer is there…” She trails off. The implication takes a moment for Byleth to pick up. They’re surprised — Mercedes doesn’t seem like the kind of person to be quite that ruthless but apparently she is. 

“Even if I could get through Felix’s ridiculous security, I’d be hopeless. I haven’t played myrmidon in years, let alone swordmaster. You might as well have an intelligent monkey play.” Sylvain sighed. “I’m going to try calling again.”

“Don’t bother,” Dimitri orders. “If he shows up, then he shows up. He isn’t stupid. He knows the fight against the Black Eagles is today. If he misses, it’s on purpose. I’ll talk to him myself if that happens.” There’s something going unsaid, but Byleth can’t figure it out. They almost ask for clarification, but Dimitri continues. “I haven’t slept in two days. I’m getting coffee. Byleth, you’re in charge.” 

_[theboarprince has made you head of the party!]_

Ingrid lets out a spluttering protest, hopefully over Dimitri’s lack of sleep and not Byleth being put in charge. Dedue sighs heavily, almost loud enough to drown out Mercedes’s concerned gasp. 

“Dimitri!” Mercedes says, but he’s left the chat. In the game, his character is idle in the competition screen. 

“Can we start the competition and have Felix join midway?” Byleth asks. They don’t think they’re the best to do anything, not when everyone else has years and years of experience is the game. Not for the first time, they are painfully aware of how everyone thinks that they’ve played the game far more than they actually have. 

“Yeah, we’ve had to do something similar when Felix had to use an alt to fill our numbers up,” Ingrid explained. “Damn, I knew I should have kept my subscription for my alt. Even if she’s only 43...”

A message appears on Byleth’s screen. Dread fills Byleth. It’s only slightly calmed when they notice it’s not from Felix. 

“Sylvain, you’re certain Felix isn’t, like, dead? Right?” Ashe asks. “Just, he spent the last week grinding with me for this, I can’t imagine him missing for anything. And not against our biggest competition.” 

“He’s slept at the apartment and he even ate dinner here once, but he’s mostly been at school or the gym. I think he’s avoiding me,” Sylvain admits. Byleth groans. _They_ could have told Sylvain that and they don’t even know what happened. Because something has to have happened. Even Felix wouldn’t be doing this without reason.

_Boop! _

Right, their messages. 

_[Conversation with The_Empress]_

_[whisper] The_Empress: We are ready. Are you?_

_[whisper] The_Empress: Hello?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Yes, we are ready. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Start the challenge at any point._

_[whisper] The_Empress: May the best guild achieve victory. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you. _

_[End of conversation]_

“Blue Lions, listen,” Byleth says. The chatter on the other end ceases. “We’re going to fight the Eagles with or without Felix. Dedue, Ashe, and Mercedes, you three will go first. Take as long as you need — the more time you can buy us, the better.” 

“We can do that!” Ashe says.

“Yes! especially with my new spells.” Mercedes makes her character cheer. 

“For you and Dimitri, we will not fail,” Dedue adds.

“What are we going to do if Felix doesn’t show up?” Annette asks. There’s fear in her voice. Byleth hates it. They don’t care if Felix shows up — the two of them are going to have a talk. 

Ingrid reassures Annette that it’ll be fine. Annette doesn’t seem convinced. 

_[The Black Eagles have begun the competition versus the Blue Lions!]_

_[Join the competition?]_

_[Yes.]_

The two guilds load into the arena, which is a circular coliseum. The play area is surrounded by water, which as of yet no class other than the fliers can cross. Other than that, there’s random spots with cover and difficult terrain and a raised platform in the very center. On the platform is a bright green glow. A heal zone. Overall, the field of combat is pretty large, enough so that a quick archer like Ashe can sink a few crits into a squishy member before they can even touch him. 

That’s what Byleth is counting on, at least. 

Dedue, Ashe, and Mercedes all add themselves to the first team. The Black Eagles have already hit _ready_, though of course Byleth can’t see any information on them. If Dimitri was here, he’d probably have a speech. 

“Good luck,” Byleth says. Good enough. The two teams load in. There’s a swordmaster, an armored knight, and a mage of some kind. Admittedly, all the offensive mages look the same to Byleth. “Mercedes, you focus on killing that knight. Ashe, target their mage. Dedue, don’t die.” 

“We believe in you,” Ingrid says. Then the fight starts and there’s no time for anything else. 

#

“Hell yeah! Good job guys,” Annette says as a banner reading _Round One: Blue Lions Win!_ flashes on the screen. “Merice, do you still have slots of physic?” 

“Yeah,” Mercedes replies.

“Ashe, take the center with Dedue,” Byleth orders. “If they have another healer, focus them first. Otherwise, take their damage down. Try to force them to come to you. This platform is going to be useful.”

The next team for the Eagles loads in. A paladin, sniper, and a — a mage? She has a sword but is wearing robes. 

“Fuck, of course they have a dancer,” Ashe curses. Byleth has no idea what that means. They make a note to look it up. They can’t now, because the fight begins.

It becomes clear that the dancer is faster than Mercedes and has better combat stats. It doesn’t matter that she heals at half the rate as Mercedes when she deals half of Dedue’s lifebar in thunder damage. Mercedes puts up a valiant fight, but when she makes the decision to heal Ashe instead of herself, the enemy sniper takes her out. Ashe is already low — and so is the enemy paladin, but the bastard is a high enough level to have Sol, which he _keeps fucking triggering._ Dedue is toast after a fireball and soon Byleth has to pick the next three to fight.

_Ding!_

“Have we lost yet?” Dimitri asks. He sounds vaguely more human, which is about all Byleth can hope for.

“Not yet. They have a really good second team, though.” Ingrid taps on her keyboard. “Oh, I knew I recognized their dancer. She once told me that I was wasting class potential because I don’t spend real money to decorate my pegasus.”

“Oh, that’s her? I should have used my last deadeye on her and not their paladin…” Ashe sighs. “Whoever he is, he’s got a stupidly high skill stat.” 

“Byleth, do you want me to clear the field?” Dimitri asks. 

“No. Sylvain and Annette, come with me. Let’s give… Let’s give Felix a bit more time. Let’s focus the dancer. She’s why they’re able to go so much faster than us.” Byleth doesn't think Felix will show up, but they don't want to go down without a fight. Besides, Dimitri is so overleveled that maybe he and Ingrid can two-versus-three if it comes down to it. 

Byleth just needs to deal with this stupid paladin. 

They load in with Annette behind them and Sylvain next to her. A counter begins, signifying the amount of time before the round starts. Annette buffs Sylvain, who flies towards the edge of the map in a flanking position, which is their usual strategy during raids. He's considerably more tanky now that they've managed to get him some good armor, but Byleth has no illusions about his ability to stay in one piece versus the players the Eagles have put up. 

"Maybe they'll think we're out of people and waste all their spells," Ingrid hopes. 

"We are out of people after this," Dimitri points out. "Empress hasn't gone yet. She's the level 59." 

Byleth doesn't know why Dimitri knows that and it doesn't matter, because the round begins. They fire off a barrage of shots at the enemy sniper, landing a few good hits but mostly grazing. Sylvain is already pinned down by the paladin and Annette can't deal good damage and heal well at the same time, so she ends up doing both poorly. 

"Annette, just focus on damage. Sorry, Sylvain," Byleth decides. 

"It's fine, Teach," he replies. "I think I can take their dancer down though. For you, Ingrid." His avatar disengages from the paladin and flies right at the dancer. 

Byleth swaps to their sword and runs at the sniper while she's distracted. Sylvain scores a critical, dropping the dancer to critical, before the paladin kills him. It's still a few precious seconds where Byleth can run across the arena and kill the sniper with a sword to the digital chest. 

"Worth it," Sylvain says. 

"I'm texting Felix," Ingrid mutters. 

"Dedue, did you buy me this coffee? I can actually taste it," Dimitri exclaims. 

"Annette, keep yourself alive for as long as possible." Byleth swaps to magic again, specifically Nosferatu. They don't have a lot of uses and it's slow, but it also heals them when they do damage and that's what matters. They're unsurprised to see Annette is doing the same. 

Still, the spell doesn't do a lot of damage and it's just prolonging the inevitable. Byleth actually dies first, attracting attention from the dancer — whose flashing red health bar taunts Byleth the entire time — and the paladin. Then Annette gets run down by the paladin. 

"This sucks," Annette says, which sums up the general consensus. There's a loud bang in the background but Byleth doesn't have time to check the Eris chat or look out a window — they need to think of a solution. There's always a solution… 

"If we can beat them, we have a clear shot to winning… The Eagles already took out the Deer…" Mercedes sighs. "Dimitri, do you think you can do it?" 

"No, but I'm going to play it out anyways," he replies. "Empress's head is mine." 

_Ding!_

_[lucky_strike has requested to join your party!]_

"You can all yell at me later," Felix gasps, obviously out of breath. "Let me in so I can kick some ass." 

Annette cheers. Ashe says something about Felix having incredible timing. Dimitri is just laughing hysterically to the point where Byleth worries that they're going to have to concede because Dimitri's lungs are going to give out. 

Through some miracle, Felix joins the party in time and Dimitri doesn't have another episode. Ingrid joins the two of them in the arena. Byleth presses their tongue against the back of their teeth, comments threatening to pour out. 

_After,_ they tell themself. They can talk to Felix later. 

"Let us show the Black Eagles the true power of the Blue Lion guild!" Dimitri cackles. "Felix, Ingrid — kill every last one of them!" 

The fight starts. 

Ingrid zips across the arena, announcing her intention to kill the dancer. Felix casts compel duel and the paladin is forced to let Dimitri land free hit after free hit, only able to attack Felix but locked in place by Dimitri's stun. 

Level 55 and higher, Byleth decides, is utterly broken. 

"Ha! Call my pegasus plain and boring again," Ingrid sneers as she finishes off her foe. The paladin falls next. Overall, less than a minute for the two of them to do what Annette, Sylvain, and Byleth could not. If Byleth were a more anxious person, they'd be worried. As it is, they don't mind being less strong than others. 

Besides, they can out fish anyone in the server they're pretty sure. 

"Get ready," Dimitri growls. "Empress is mine. You two, take care of the others." 

"Who's even left? I can't believe I ran here for this," Felix scoffs. 

"Empress, her dark magician, and whichever professor they have," Ingrid says. "I know they don't have Thunder brand or Ceruleandragon…" 

The answer comes quickly. A female avatar in red armor and with an axe stands by a male avatar in black robes. Behind them stands iDetectcrests, whom Byleth recognizes not just from mod meetings — and oh boy, they skipped the last meeting to sleep, but Rhea was surprisingly okay with that — but also because iDetectcrests is actually very nice. 

Byleth hopes he's not good at the game. 

The round begins. Dimitri charges at Empress, neatly dodging a blast of magic from the other two Eagles. Ingrid tells Felix she'll handle the mod and flies off. Felix grunts and taps furiously on his keyboard — Byleth is seriously considering buying the guy a new one — and his avatar launches itself at the dark mage. 

This battle isn't as easy as the last. Dimitri is a higher level than Empress, but she naturally counters lances. Ingrid is essentially immune to magic thanks to her class abilities, but she doesn't do a lot of damage either. Felix seems to be having the easiest time of it, though his health bar is flashing red by the time he cuts down his enemy. 

"Need to heal," he says, running towards the center of the map. 

Byleth realizes their nails are cutting into their palms. They grab onto their tangle with both hands instead. 

"Fuck," Ingrid says. "Bastard's pulling out wind magic. Dimitri, can I get backup?" 

"Engaged," he replied. His avatar jumps in the air and throws his lance at Empress. The _critical hit_ alert pops up and Byleth lets out a sigh of relief. Dimitri laughs. "I'll meet you in hell." 

Empress spins in a circle, applying bleed damage to Dimitri, but he's so tanky that it barely affects him. What is more concerning is how Empress heals half her health. 

"That sucks," Sylvain says. His voice is distant — he's muted but is coming through Felix's microphone. 

"What happened?" Felix asks. 

"Empress had some kind of heal." Ashe hesitates. "Does her class have access to Sol?" 

"I don't have access to Sol, so she should not be able to learn it," Dimitri grumbles. "Felix, have you killed the mage yet?" 

"No — does our illustrious leader need help?" He manages to make a simple phrase sound like an endless drag. Byleth would be impressed if they weren't still mad at him. 

Dimitri sighs. "No, but you should free Ingrid up." 

"I'm fine, it's just a — a setback." Ingrid sounds actually out of breath, as if she was the one flying around. Her avatar seems intent on chucking lances in the direction of her target, but the exact flight pattern lowers her accuracy too much. She’s not being hit by the wind magic anymore, but she doesn’t have much kill pressure either.

“Come on, Ingrid! You can do it!” Mercedes says. “Remember, all mages have a weakness to getting stabbed in the chest.”

“Um, I think everyone is weak against that,” Ashe replies. 

“But mages especially.” Mercedes sounds so certain that Byleth doesn’t want to question her. 

“Boar, I’m almost done. Do you think I can duel her?” Felix asks. 

“No, she has too high of Wisdom. Do you still have Astra?” Dimitri responds. “Go help Ingrid.”

“Yup, I haven’t used it yet.” Felix heads back into the fight, now safely out of the red for his health. “Ingrid, keep him pinned down.”

Immediately as he says that, iDetectcrests turns on him and casts meteor. Felix’s avatar is set on fire and half his hit points immediately disappear. Felix swears loudly. Ingrid swoops down and lands a solid blow on the mod, but then he casts a point-blank spell and she takes the full brunt. 

“Sorry guys, guess I wasn’t too much help this round,” Ingrid apologizes as her avatar fades out of the arena. 

Felix ignores her. He still goes for the mage and, with a sliver of health left, uses Astra. The entire field actually goes dark as he slices with his sword. It’s an eerie effect, especially since he’s glowing red from being on fire. He crits on the last strike, killing iDetectcrests before the fire damage takes him out. 

“You’re on your own, boar,” Felix grumbles. Dimitri clears his throat but doesn’t say anything. Byleth thinks that they were less anxious when they had to present their master’s dissertation. 

Empress strikes with a critical hit and stun locks Dimitri for a moment before he breaks out of it. He activates some kind of passive that makes his lance glow red. 

“Heh.” Dimitri stabs Empress’s avatar and digital blood sprays everywhere. Then the lance bursts into flames as his avatar pulls the lance back out. Dimitri finishes off Empress with a twirl and basic auto attack. 

_[The Blue Lions have won the competition against the Black Eagles!]_

#

Once the celebratory chatter has died down, Sylvain apologizes to the group but logs off, pointedly saying, “I need to have a conversation with my roommate.” He doesn’t leave any room for argument, even as Felix is glaring daggers at him. He flips Sylvain off as he apologizes for worrying everyone, lying and saying there was an accident on the drive back from training.

Sylvain knows he’s lying because Felix is A) not a good liar and B) his best friend from childhood who gets a certain sheepish expression whenever he tries to lie. Also, Felix doesn’t have fencing on Wednesdays which is the entire reason they scheduled their match against the Black Eagles then. If anyone else notices this, they don’t say anything but a chorus of mostly fond farewells when the two roommates exit the chat. 

Felix turns to face Sylvain, but he isn’t looking at him. “Hey, I—”

“No, me first,” Sylvain interrupts. “Yes, I am mad at you but not over some stupid video game.” 

Felix’s eyebrows furrow the same way when he gets into a fight about civil rights, because this is Felix and he never knows how to feel anything in halves. “It isn’t a stupid game and I almost let everyone down. I owe — well, I owe you an explanation. Maybe the boar and Byleth.” The two of them stare at each other until Felix says, “Fine, Ingrid too.” 

“You know you’re allowed space, but if you need that much space… I just wish you would talk to me.” Sylvain ran a hand through his hair. “Remember when we were kids? You talked to me about everything. What happened?” As soon as he says it, Sylvain realizes what happened.

“I don’t need to talk to you about everything. Sometimes a guy wants to have some secrets.” Felix scowls, then softens just a hair. “Even if they are with his best friend.” 

Sylvain nods. “I know. But it’s okay to talk to me. You know I won’t judge you. I mean, look, I managed to get kicked out by my parents. It took almost twenty years, but I did it. And I had to ask your dad if I could get help with school — and not a cheap one either. Do you really think I’m going to judge you for anything?” 

“... No, I don’t.” Felix sighs. “I wasn’t at practice.”

“No shit.”

“I’m trying to talk like you want, shut the fuck up.”

“Okay, sorry.”

Felix stands. “My father isn’t going to be visiting at all. Now, I’m hungry. I’m going to order the most expensive take out and SuperMunch some equally expensive wine. You can sit in here or you can join me.”

It’s a Wednesday and they both have class tomorrow. There’s no way Sylvain _isn’t_ joining.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi~
> 
> First, thank you for all of your support so far! Not only have I been loving all the comments, but also thank you for understanding about my week off. I feel a lot better and I think I've got a much better handle on my workflow for this fic now. 
> 
> Second, in a few weeks it'll be Sylvix week! I'm doing a few fics for that, so keep an eye out. 
> 
> Third, I wanted to let people know that I'm planning on doing a companion fic to this story soon! Right now I'm planning on doing one about how Dimitri and the other Lions got into the game, but is there anything else people would like to see? The idea is to have stuff that is pre-ATKM or unlikely to make it into the story, because boy oh boy am I full of lore....
> 
> Anyways, on with the show! 
> 
> Enjoy~

_[guild] not_house_gaudy_3: aw, who’s supposed to force me to play and not just talk with cute girls in the worldchat???_

_[guild] lucky_strike: Me._

_[guild] yumyum: Ahahahahahahaha =^~^=_

_[guild] ladyofmercy: I hope that you have a good weekend! _

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you. _

_[guild] ashetreearrows: What are you doing this weekend?_

_[guild] ashetreearrows: Unless it’s personal. _

_[guild] theboarprince: you don’t have to tell everyone if you don’t want._

_[duild] ashetreearrows: Yeah, it’s up to you!_

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: I think I would rather not say._

_[guild] yumyum: Well I hope it’s fun =^.^= _

_[guild] ofduscur: Annette, my apologies, but… what are those?_

_[guild] not_house_gaudy_3: WHAT ARE THOOOOSE???_

_[guild] knightedfreya: Felix, please hit Sylvain in the head. _

_[guild] yumyum: They’re cute little kittens! =^0^= _

_[guild] not_house_gaudy_3: Felix and I aren’t in the same room HA!!!_

_[guild] yumyum: Mercie showed me them =^.<=_

_[guild] ofduscur: I see. _

_[guild] lugky_strike: I’ll do it when I get home if you pay me._

_[guild] not_house_gaudy_3: awwww Felix you’re breaking my heart..._

_[guild] ofduscur: =^.^=_

_[guild] ofduscur: Am I doing this correctly?_

_[guild] theboarprince: byleth, if you need anything this weekend, do not hesitate to reach out. _

_[guild] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you. _

_[guild] yumyum: DEDUE THAT IS SO CUTE _

_[guild] yumyum: \=^3^=/_

_[guild] ladyofmercy: Yes, Byleth, if you need us, we’re here! Have you gotten my number yet?_

Byleth, at first, doesn’t want to share their number. Then they realize that it’s a bit of a ridiculous fear. What are a bunch of college students going to do? Look them up and spread the information that Byleth is a homebody who spends too much time playing video games? If one of the Blue Lions had malicious intent, they’d probably know by now if just because they currently spend more time talking to the Lions than their coworkers. 

They drop their number in the groupchat. Not a moment later, their phone starts buzzing with texts. Annette sends emojis with her name, Mercedes sends a heart, and Sylvain ends his with an on-brand amount of exclamation points. Dimitri and Dedue give their full names — and Dimitri’s last name seems familiar, but Byleth doesn’t read too into it — and Felix just sends “F.” 

Byleth still needs to talk to Felix. Yes, they’ve been putting it off. No, they don’t want to put on their professor hat in their personal life. But they also know that if Dimitri tries, it’ll be about as productive as giving a monkey a typewriter. Maybe the monkey comes up with something great, but realistically it would be an incoherent disaster. 

With that in mind, Byleth sighs and opens up a new conversation. 

_[Conversation with lucky_strike]_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Hey, can we talk?_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Let me guess, I forgot to do my homework and I’m in trouble. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: The boar told me that you wanted to talk about last week, which is why he didn’t chew me out. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Why do you call him that?_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Because he’s an animal. He talks a good game about peace and being friends and looking towards the future, but all he thinks about is the moment. He’s all instinct. Why do you think that he let you take control of the guild so easily? Because he knows someone more capable and, like a dog, he’s letting the alpha take control. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: He pretends that it’s all because he wants what’s best for us, but he really just wants what will make things easier then. I don’t think he’s capable of scheming, or I’d call him a rat. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Dimitri calls himself a person, but if it weren’t for Dedue and Rodrigue then he’d be living out of a box. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Rodrigue?_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Yeah. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: My father. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: If you don't have anything to say, I’m going to go grind a few raids. Alone._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Does Rodrigue have anything to do with the fact that you were late to the fight?_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Yeah._

_[whisper] lucky_strike: I don’t need you to be some kind of therapist. My father has offered to get me one. Multiple times. I got what I needed from one and then I got out. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: I don’t need to pay someone to complain. I live with Sylvain._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: When you got what from a therapist?_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Yeah, I guess no one would have told you yet._

_[whisper] lucky_strike: I’m trans. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Is your father not supportive? _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Don’t want or need a therapist, Byleth._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I was on hormones for three years and I had top surgery. I understand. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You don’t need to tell me anything you do not want, and I know that you don’t like Dimitri, but you must care about him a little._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: And if you want any of the people in this guild to like you or call you a friend, you can’t just show up last minute for something important. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: I’m not stupid. I’m not going to make a habit of it._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Have you apologized for being late to anyone?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I’m not saying this as a professor or mod. I’m saying this as your friend._

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Has anyone ever told you that you’re an unemotional ass?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Frequently. I’m autistic. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: My father doesn’t believe in autism. Didn’t believe in “transgenders” either._

_[whisper] lucky_strike: If it’ll get you and the boar off of my back, I’ll apologize to people. It won’t happen again._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I don’t care if you apologize. Dimitri might. I only care if you change your behavior. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Whatever. I already said it won’t happen again. Are we done now?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: If you ever do want to talk, I am here. About anything. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You’re on hormones, right? Your voice is very deep. _

_[whispers] [Mod] Byleth: Does that give any difficulty with your fencing?_

_[whispers] lucky_strike: Only when the guys complain and claim that I have an unfair advantage._

_[whispers] lucky_strike: I’m the best in the state. Or, I’ll prove it in a few months. I’ll be gone then, but that’s already in Mercedes’s stupid calendar. _

_[whispers] [Mod] Byleth: Do the others ever go to your tournaments? _

_[whispers] lucky_strike: Ha, no. Have you ever been to a fencing tournament? They’re not exactly full of action if you’re only there for one person._

_[whispers] lucky_strike: My father doesn’t even come. _

_[whispers] [Mod] Byleth: Maybe I will have to put on my professor hat and see for myself. I’ve never seen fencing in person. _

_[whispers] lucky_strike: I think you’re joking, but if you aren’t, just don’t tell Sylvain. He’ll be even more embarrassing than normal. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Also, everyone does know I’m trans, so it’s not a secret, but I don’t really talk about it a lot. So don’t bring it up all the time._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Of course._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: One last question, and this is with my professor hat, but do you bind when you fence? Do you need a new binder at all? Is your area safe? Sylvain does respect you, I assume?_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Goddess, what did I say about a therapist?_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: I actually don’t bind anymore. And even when I did, it isn’t like it caused any problems. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: As long as you don’t use ace bandages. _

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Sylvain bought me my first binder, so he’s fine. An idiot, but he’s fine. _

_[whisper] lucky_sritke: I’m only going to say this once, so screenshot it or something if you want to save it, but I’m glad you joined the Lions. You could be worse._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: =^3^=_

_[whisper] lucky_strike: I take it back, I hate you._

Byleth smiles to themself. They do take a picture of the confession. It’s sweet, in a very Felix way. Maybe they’ll ask Mercedes if she has a collection of nice things that Felix has said. If anyone does, it would be her. 

They also want to fight Rodrigue, because Byleth might be autistic but they can still see when someone has issues with a parent. Jeralt was many things, but he was a good father. Maybe a bit distant and not good at his emotions, but he did his research and never let Byleth feel ashamed of themself about anything.They were lucky. 

Goddess, Byleth isn’t ready for this weekend. 

A sniff escapes Byleth, but they don’t want to dwell. They know they’re going to be emotional later. It’s Friday afternoon. They can hold it together for a bit longer.

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you for talking to me, Felix._

_[whisper] lucky_strike: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can I go now?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Yes. I’ll see you after the weekend._

_[whisper] lucky_strike: See you._

_[End of conversation]_

Byleth mutes the guild chat and puts their account on invisible. They’re fishing in the middle of nowhere, so it’s unlikely that anyone will just stumble upon them. They like this spot precisely because so few people come around. 

_[[Mod] Rhea has messaged you!]_

Or that can happen. Byleth chalks it up to bad timing, but they also don’t want to ignore Rhea in case it’s something important. If it becomes too much, they can always log off for real. 

_[Conversation with [Mod] Rhea]_

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Hello, Byleth. How are you today?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I had a question for you, when you are available. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Hello, Rhea. I am doing well. How are you? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I am very excited. We have finished putting together a new raid, and I was hoping you and the Lions could beta it this weekend. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Don't tell the other guilds, of course. They might be jealous. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: This weekend? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Yes. The sooner the better. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: You'll agree, of course? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I'm sorry, it's a bad weekend. I have something that I need to do. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Any other weekend, I am free. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Oh, I am sorry to hear that. You will be gone the whole weekend? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Yes. Sorry. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: If I may, is it about your father? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: But of course, don't tell me anything you feel uncomfortable sharing. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: As you know, my father passed. One of his last wishes was to spread his ashes._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I'm sorry. That must be incredibly difficult. I lost my mother many years ago and we also spread her ashes._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: It really can be quite reassuring, though. No matter where I am, I can feel like she is around me. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I hope that this helps bring you some peace and closure as well. Where are you releasing the ashes? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: There is a large hiking trail not far from where I live - we lived together. It is where he met my mother. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: That is very touching. I'm sure that it will be wonderful. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Is there anything that I could do for you, Byleth? Something that would make this weekend easier for you? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I don't think so, but thank you. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: If you are certain. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: This may be odd, but I care for you. I care for all the moderators, of course, and all my players, but… I care for you more than usual._

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: And you intrigue me, but you know that. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I don't know why I do. I'm an open book. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Who knows. Maybe it is something we can figure out together._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Together… I suppose I like the idea of doing something together. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Wonderful! _

_[whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I am sure you have better things to do than to talk to silly me. But we will have much to discuss when you get back. _

_[End of conversation with [Mod] Rhea]_

# 

Jeralt was buried next to his wife in the graveyard of the church where he and his wife married. That is not where Byleth goes, and the thing they have in a box is not their father’s ashes. The truth is a little more complex than that. 

The hiking trail is busy at the entry. Byleth has not been up the path in many years, but sheer determination gets them to the top of the hill in only an hour and a bit. They have a water bottle in one hand and a small box — oax wood, unadorned, gold latch — in the other. No one recognizes them and they do not recognize anyone. They are not a regular here. Not anymore. 

The top of the hike is beautiful. This high up, one can just barely make out the university in the distance. The trees are in their spring greenery still, though a few have begun the fall into orange and yellow. The air is crisp. Byleth, foolishly, wonders if Dimitri would still cough as much if he were here instead of whatever city he resides in. 

The water bottle goes on the ground. 

Byleth is alone at the top, a little off the main path. If they fell one foot forward, they could fall the entire hike down. As it is, the wind catches their hair and ruffles it like the tree branches. Their coat, which they unzipped on the climb up, is tempting in its warmth. 

They open the box. Inside are four things.

The first is a lighter. 

The second is a USB. They slip it into their pocket. 

The third is a Polaroid picture, faded with time. The date scrawled on the back is from before Byleth was born. They do not recognize the woman with pale green hair or the woman with hair like moss. 

The fourth is a postcard, addressed to Jeralt and from an “S.” Funny, Byleth doesn’t remember their father ever mentioning someone named S. The postcard is simple. It reads: 

_With love, from your favorite creator of fire — S. _

In Byleth’s coat pocket, the letter from their father feels like it’s on fire. How many times have they poured over these items, hoping that something will become obvious? They want to connect it to the game, but none of it makes sense. And their father’s note is very, very clear — they should destroy everything in this box. They should burn it all and scatter the ashes to the wind. 

And they should never use the USB.

The USB goes into their pocket. It’s a bad idea to burn electronics, after all. They’ll crush it under their car’s tires or recycle it or — or something. 

They use their phone to take a picture of the postcard and Polaroid — back and front. They feel a stab of guilt, but it’s okay. Who would even have access to their phone? Why does this even matter? It doesn’t have to be so secretive, surely. It isn’t like Jeralt was running from someone. Byleth would have known. 

They also take a photo of the letter that Jeralt had written, the closest thing to instructions that he left behind. 

Then they set the letter in the box alongside the postcard and Polaroid. They set it all on fire. It takes too long for it all to burn, but Byleth waits patiently. They wait until everything is gone, a soot stain on the dirt but the ashes blown to the wind. They do not cry. 

On the way down, they find their thoughts so distracting that they almost collide with a woman with pale green hair. 

“Sorry!” The woman says. Byleth doesn’t reply. 

#

_Ding!_

“Hey, Dedue! No Dimitri?” Ashe asks. In the game, Dedue sees the notification tell him that _ashetreearrows has logged on!_

“No. I believe he is finally sleeping.” Dedue, unwillingly, has not been to visit Dimitri in the last few days. He has tried, but each time Dimitri has insisted that he is fine alone. There is only so far that even Dedue will push him. “I am cooking in Garreg Mach if you wish to join me.” 

Ashe clicks a few times. His avatar appears next to Dedue. 

_[worldchat] [ashetreearrows] waves at [ofduscur]!_

_[worldchat] [ofduscur] waves at [ashetreearrows]!_

“How were classes?” Dedue asks, inviting Ashe to his party so they can cook together and get that sweet EXP boost. Group activities don’t give a huge advantage, but it’s something and they might as well take advantage of it. 

“Fine. I’ve got a lot of reading to do, but I wanted to get on.” Ashe falls silent. This is fine with Dedue, who is always content to let others carry a conversation. Ashe knows this so there is only a slight hesitation when he asks, “Dimitri… is he okay?” 

Dedue sighs. “Dimitri is alive. I do not know if okay is ever the word I would use to describe him.” 

“Well, it’s good he has you to look out for him! He needs it.” Ashe forces a laugh, but drops it quickly. “I wish he would stop trying to act so in control around the rest of us. Maybe if he told us more, we could help him. Or at least know what to expect. I guess he tells you everything though?” 

“Hm?” There’s some implication there, but Dedue isn’t sure what exactly it is. 

“I hope this doesn’t make you mad, but we all know you two are not-dating.”

“Not… dating?” Dedue wonders if this is some trendy speak that he hasn’t picked up since most of the people he interacts with are over sixty. 

“Yeah! Like, you two, um, you two really obviously love each other. But you two aren’t dating.” Ashe actually squeaks. “And that’s fine! I assume you two have your reasons — even if I don’t know what they could be — but we all know you two like each other.” 

For a moment, Dedue considers protesting if just for Dimitri’s sake, but what’s the point? Dimitri has always been open with how he feels about Dedue, will probably die openly defending someone he should hate. Someone who looks like the people who killed his family, his friends, a whole group of innocents crushed in a struggle they did and did not sign up for —

“Are you mad at me?” Ashe asks softly.

“No. I was merely thinking.” Dedue purses his lips. It is difficult, sometimes, trying to explain things without telling the others just how bad Dimitri’s situation is. “Dimitri and I are close, but it is his choice to remain friends.” 

“And are you okay with that?” No answer. Ashe clears his throat. “Well, I think Dimitri is stupid for letting you get away. What happens when you meet someone better and date him — her — them?”

Dedue knows that will never happen. There is no chance of someone replacing Dimitri because there is no one better than Dimitri. He doesn't know how to explain that yes, the person he loves is someone who forgets to shower and cannot taste most foods and who sees the dead bodies of his loved ones on a regular basis. The person he loves is supposed to die in a few years and Dedue would happily love only once if that is to be his fate. 

“Um, so how long are you playing?” Ashe asks. 

“A while longer. I had only a half day today at the home.” Dedue sometimes feels bad about how little he works to the point where he has started volunteering at the local temple — it has been years since he practiced his own faith, but they are understanding and do not push too hard. Today, however, he has reserved for himself — and Dimitri, if he does require any assistance. “And you? Should I be encouraging you to do your work?” 

“I’ll do it later.” Ashe falls silent for a moment. “I was hoping that my dad would get on too, but he hasn’t texted me that he will.”

“How is you father?” Dedue vaguely remembers that Ashe was gifted his first subscription by his dad, who played with him a bit at the beginning. As far as Dedue knows, Mr. Lonato keeps up his own sub but doesn’t really have time to play. Ashe’s siblings don’t play either, though not for lack of trying — Ashe jokes that he’s not as serious as Felix or Dimitri, but he really is. No doubt his siblings would rather do something with their brother that inspires less micromanagement. 

“He’s good! Really busy… we haven’t talked much. Just work stuff though — I’m sure he’s fine,” Ashe quickly adds. 

“I don’t remember what your dad does, sorry?” 

“Oh! He does, like, programming for security stuff. Like, big companies that handle a lot of personal data. He’s been looking into AI and how that affects cybersecurity, but honestly it’s all a little above my head.” Ashe laughs. “I’m glad that he’s okay with me doing something completely different.” 

Dedue hums in agreement. Ashe realizes who he’s talking to and starts stammering out an apology, which makes Dedue laugh. 

“It is fine, Ashe. I could have continued my studies, but caring for Dimitri was… is more important.” 

Ashe huffed. “I don’t know why you two aren’t dating. Dimitri’s an idiot.” 

Dedue, privately, agrees with that. 

#

Byleth is not ignoring Rhea, just like they aren’t ignoring the Blue Lions or their responsibilities as a mod. They’re just in invisible mode, which means unless someone can see them on their screen, it looks like they’re not online. It’s still Sunday and they did tell people they’d be gone the whole weekend, so that’s their excuse. 

For once, though, they’re not alone in their little fishing spot. 

_[worldchat] [Emeralddragon] waves at [Byleth]!_

Embarrassingly, Byleth’s first reaction is to log off and just go read a book all weekend. But they have wanted to talk with her more, and now is as good a time as any…

_[Conversation with Emeralddragon]_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Hello._

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Hi! How are you?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I am doing well. You?_

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I’m good! Just fishing. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Are you also going to fish?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Yes. Would you like to join my group? _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I’m not allowed to join any groups outside of an emergency, sorry._

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I would love to keep you company though!_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Okay. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Is it your brother who doesn’t want you to join groups?_

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I’m just not allowed._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: That’s fine. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: How long have you been playing the game?_

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Oh, I’ve been active since beta._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: How long ago was that?_

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Fire Emblem had its open beta five years ago. Open beta lasted about a year, then the game launched to the public. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: But your brother still doesn’t want you to be a mod?_

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Seteth is very picky, haha. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: He means well. I know he is looking out for me. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Do you play a lot?_

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: What is this, twenty questions? haha_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You don't have to answer if you don't want to do so. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: It's okay! I only tease. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I play four hours on Sundays, Saturdays, and Fridays. I play two hours on Mondays and Wednesdays. I play one hour on Tuesday and Thursday. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: So very structured, then. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I have a specific schedule because I have a lot of activities I do. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: But it is all right, I know he does it to look out for me. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: He does what? Seteth? _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Yeah, haha. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Okay… _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I wanted to ask you something else… _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Of course! _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What's the lore behind the NPC Jeralt? _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Jeralt is an NPC who serves as an ex-mercenary who serves Garreg Mach Monastery as security, specifically as a member of the in-game Knights of Seiros, which is not to be confused with the guild of the same name. Jeralt serves the purpose of acting as a guide for new players, specifically by presenting the tutorial and the first series of quests. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Is there anything else you'd like to know? _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You know all that off the top of your head? Even tho game wiki doesn't have that information… _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I know a lot of things, haha. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: So what about the NPC who does the other tutorial? _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: What?_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: The other tutorial done by Sothis._

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Who is that? I'm sorry, I don't understand. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Is there only one tutorial? _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Yes, there's only one tutorial that all players go through._

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Although, of course they have changed some things but it's always been the same person, haha. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Oh. Okay._

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Forget I asked._

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Okay, but if you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask < 3_

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you, I appreciate that. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: If you ever want to group up and just call it an emergency, you can always ask. _

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Can I add you as a friend? _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Yes, that is allowed._

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: I have to go to piano, but I hope you have a good day. _

_[whisper] Emeralddragon: Bye < 3_

__

__

_[whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Bye :) _

_[End of conversation with Emeralddragon] _

Byleth feels a bit numb as they send the request. Emeralddragon is… interesting. And it's clear as day that Byleth has to do digging themself. No one is going to be able to spoon-feed them answers, but they also can't just sit back and pretend that they aren't curious. 

_[Emeralddragon has accepted your friend request!]_

The urge to go read a book is back. They can log off and keep ignoring their problems but… but… 

They can't keep doing this. They can't keep pushing their problems to the side. 

They pull their map up and fast travel to Garreg Mach. 

Byleth mutes the worldchat and makes sure that they're still invisible, though it doesn't matter too much since they're in the most populated areas of the game. If any of the Lions sees them, then they'll deal with that. For now, they just have to not think too much as they head towards the main building in the monastery, where Jeralt has an office. 

They can barely get themself to the right room. Thankfully, there are no other players here today. Just Byleth and the digitized version of their dead father. When they think of it like that, it's definitely weirder than anything that's happened to them in their entire life. Not like there's a huge competition — they were perfectly normal before this. 

They're procrastinating, as if their hesitation can stop them from having to do this. But their problems won't go away with time, not this one. Jeralt is dead. Nothing is going to bring him back. Still, Byleth might get some answers of just who their father was if they just… 

_Click! _

_[NPC] Jeralt: Oh, hello [Byleth]! _

_[NPC] Jeralt: I’m glad you found the time to talk to your dear old dad._

_[NPC] Jeralt: What did you need?_

_[Advice.] [Quest.] [Just saying hi.]_

Byleth has never noticed it before, but the NPCs and avatars don’t blink when they talk, only when they’re quiet. Their quest from Sothis hasn’t been updated yet, or if it has the notification sound was lost in the white noise ringing in Byleth’s ears. They sniff and rub at their eyes, unused to the stinging sensation. 

_[Advice.]_

_[NPC] Jeralt: Sometimes when you’re stuck against a bigger enemy, join up with others. Together, you can take down opponents that you couldn’t defeat yourself. _

_[NPC] Jeralt: Plus it’ll be more fun and you might make some good friends!_

_[NPC] Jeralt: Did you need anything else?_

_[Advice.] [Quest.] [Just saying hi.] _

It’s disturbing. They can hear their father saying everything, but there’s nothing coming out of their headphones. The words, too, are a bit off. Jeralt was never so direct, never so… Open. Byleth never doubted that Jeralt loved them, but this… It isn’t him, but it’s the essence of him. It isn’t just that the character looks like him, but it’s the concept of him. Almost like a really good effect in a movie, but where the eyes aren’t quite right — what’s the term?

It’s uncanny. Byleth knows this isn’t their father, but… 

They select the next option. 

_[Quest.] _

_[NPC] Jeralt: We’re all stronger together. Join up with other players and defeat one of the Demonic Beasts that roam the land. _

_[NPC Quest: Join a guild and defeat any rank of Demonic Beast with at least three guild members] _

They see as well that their quest from Sothis has been completed. They could leave. They could go. That’s all they wanted. 

_This isn’t their father. This isn’t Jeralt._

They miss their father. They miss him so much. 

_[Just saying hi.]_

_[NPC] Jeralt: Aw, just felt like saying hi to your dear old dad?_

_[NPC] Jeralt: Well, you know I always have time for you. _

_[NPC] Jeralt: I hope you’re enjoying the game, spark. _

_[NPC] Jeralt: I can’t believe you’re already level [58]! I’m proud of you, and I know your mom would be too. _

_[NPC] Jeralt: And you have [17] friends. That’s great. try to get some more and I might have something special for you. _

_[NPC] Jeralt: Oh, and before I forget, do you need a haircut yet? Don’t forget to get one if you do. You always did hate having your hair too long. _

_[NPC] Jeralt: Now, stop talking to your boring dad and go talk to your friends and have fun. I’ll be here if you need me. _

Byleth cries. 

#

_Byleth, _

_If you’re reading this, it means I’ve finally passed away. I hope you’re taking care of yourself. I’m sorry to leave you alone, but I know who you are. You are my brilliant, strong, kind, and very much loved child and you will continue to burn so bright. My only regret is that I will not be there to see everything else that you will accomplish. _

_I know that you’ve always felt different than your peers, that you’ve been worried about making friends and opening up. I know, though you’ve never told me, that you’re scared of being alone. I know it might feel like no one else is out there who will see you for the amazing human being that I see, but I know there are — you just have to find them. _

_I want you to do a few things for me. The first few are easy. My old oak box, the one you loved to fill with seashells when you were a child, I need you to burn the contents. One of the items is an old USB drive. I don’t know if it still works, Don’t try it. Don’t use it. Burn it. Crush it. Destroy it. The rest is useless paper. Just feels right that it gets burnt though. Call it the sentimental ravings of a dying man if you wish. _

_Next, I need you to read the rest of my journal. It’s only from the last few years, but it has everything I’ve wanted to tell you all these years but haven’t been able to. Did you know that dear ol’ dad used to work with computers? I know, I know, I have trouble using the microwave most days — and not just because of the radiation. But you’ll just have to take my word for it. I was a regular freelancer, back when I first met your mom. _

_That’s the other thing. Make sure I get buried next to her, okay? But keep my ring. That’s a family heirloom and it’s yours now. Take care of it. _

_Last, remember that I love you, kiddo. I always have. I’m not going to be here anymore, but that’s okay. Don’t hold on to me — I’m gone. Look forward and embrace the future. Keep shining bright, my little spark. _

_I love you._

_Your dad,_

_Jeralt_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Good news. Most of the overall plot is finished up and settled. Also good news. Mostly done with my Sylvix week fics. Bad news. I won't be updating next week because I still need to finish fic. 
> 
> But! This should be the last major interruption as far as updates go and I'll be posting plenty of other fic, so keep an eye out for them!
> 
> <s>Also pray for my wrists rip carpel tunnel</s>

“Has anyone heard from Byleth?” Mercedes asks. There’s a few murmurs from the others, their icons in Eris lighting up, but the consensus is no, no one has heard from Byleth since they left over the weekend. It’s raid night. Byleth has been AWOL for three days. 

“I’m sure they’re fine. They’re a teacher, right? So they’re probably just busy,” Ashe says. He sounds the least robotic over Dimitri’s headphones. Dimitri keeps meaning to buy another pair. He has the money and they’d be useful. It just feels like a waste. What’s the point of something nice when your lungs are tearing themselves apart? 

“I have nothing tomorrow, so I’m cool waiting.” Sylvain yawns, which takes away from his point. 

“Don’t you have classes tomorrow?” Ingrid asks, incredulous. “And I can text Byleth, I just don’t want to bother them…”

“I don’t have classes, actually. Felix, tell her.”

“He’s lying through his teeth.” Felix clears his throat. “If no one else is going to do it, I’ll text them. They’re not my professor, it doesn’t matter.”

Dimitri opens his mouth to insist he do it — not that he doesn’t trust Felix to try to be nice about it, but Felix’s metrics for nice ace not everyone else’s metric for nice — when his phone actually buzzes. He unlocks it and isn’t surprised to see that it’s Byleth. He’s even less surprised when the message is a brief apology and a simple  _ Can’t make it _ stapled together with a frowning emoticon. 

“We’re playing without Byleth,” Dimitri tells the guild. In game, he travels to a fairly average dungeon. Okay, average for himself. But Sylvain isn’t too far behind from Mercedes, who is the second lowest at level 48. 

The combined power of the guild is what matters, and even without Byleth they should be fine. They were fine without them and they will be fine now. 

“Are they okay?” Annette asks. 

“Yes, they just won’t make it.” Dimitri thinks about what can be reassuring but also won’t give away too much about what’s going on. “They have other things they need to do.” It doesn’t seem like the others are exactly jumping for joy, but Dimitri doesn’t expect them to. He just knows that it isn’t his place to share tales of the dead — even if the dead are following him. 

It’s Glenn today. Dimitri hasn’t been able to piss all day. It’s a bit hard to relax enough when a dead man, head burst open and blood dripping all over the linoleum, is staring at you. Still, better than his father. He seems to be more chatty than Glenn. Probably because Glenn doesn’t have enough of a mouth left for much more than gentle rasping. 

“How is your training going, Felix?” Mercedes asks, clearly intent on not letting Byleth’s absence drag the whole night down. 

“Fine,” Felix replied, with no such desire. 

“You know, I don’t think we’ve run this one before,” Ashe points out. 

“Do you want me to focus healing?” Mercedes toggles between monk and warlock, which is what she’s been playing with Byleth able to take up some of the responsibility. 

“I can also help! Mercie’s showed me some of her build.” Annette also starts toggling her class. 

“Mercedes, stay on healing. Annette, we’ll need your magic damage.” Dimitri clears his throat. He can practically feel Dedue’s concern, even with Dedue in his own apartment. “It’s one we did back before the graphics update last year.” 

“Didn’t we wipe repeatedly because the Demonic Beast has a 20% lifesteal?” Ingrid is flying around, waiting for the others to finish up. The advantage of having a specialized class means that there’s a lot less decision making to, well, make. 

“I have bleed and damage over time now,” Felix replies. “Come on, I’d like to run the raid sometime this night.”

“Some of us have equipment choices!” Ashe complains. 

“Just use your best bow.”

“Then give me the umbra ore to fix it later.”

“Sure!” Felix types on his keyboard. A few moments later, Ashe snorts and equips his best bow. 

The raid gate waits. Glenn grins with half a face. Dimitri is doing his best to ignore him, but he can’t look away completely. Somehow, not seeing him at all is worse than him being in the corner of Dimitri’s one eye. Glenn is getting blood all over the carpet. Dimitri’s glad Dedue isn’t there, because he’d be so concerned about it staining. 

Dimitri waits for everyone to hit  _ Ready _ before launching the raid. It sends all of them into a loading screen, where the helpful hint tells him that some raids are vulnerable to different kinds of damage.

He loads in at about the same time as Dedue, who is closely followed by Ingrid. Mercedes and Annette are next — school internet is actually better than one would think — alongside Ashe. Finally, Felix and Sylvain load in. The two of them need a better internet plan, but Dimitri knows that would involve talking with Rodrigue and Felix would probably rather play in an internet cafe than talk with his dad.

Quickly, Dimitri takes point with Dedue and Felix. The three of them go towards the main group of trash while Ingrid and Sylvain go around to flank, their ability to fly giving them a huge advantage. Dedue taunts all the trash in the area as Mercedes buffs him and Annette just throws a fireball over all of them. It’s easy pickings, AOE attacks coming in clutch as they build up their bloodthirst meter and go through the basics. 

After clearing the first area, Dimitri leads them over to the next and so on. There’s one or two scary moments against the first round boss, but Mercedes has a revive stored and can quickly bring Ashe back up after an unlucky CC lock takes him out. 

Besides a few cooldown announcements and Felix telling them what he’s doing — without anyone telling him what to do, he’s doing his usual which is running around and dueling minibosses — the voice chat is silent. So, naturally, they all hear when Ingrid goes,

“Fuck!” Her health bar suddenly gets cut in half. “Mercie?” She calls out. 

“On my way,” Mercedes replies. 

“Sylvain, can you cover for her?” Dimitri isn’t sure what happened. He quickly toggles into a defensive stance while scrolling the map to try to even find Ingrid. She’s on the other side of the map.  _ Shit. _

Sylvain disengages from his current foe and takes off, but he’s still a few seconds away. Felix also heads over, but he’s even farther and he keeps having to disengage from enemies. Mercedes dashes, taking some damage on the way, but she’s using Nosferatu which is keeping her up. 

Dimitri looks back at his avatar just in time to see Dedue eat an entire round of acid straight to the digital face. His health starts to pulse green, and not in the good healing way. 

“Dedue, fall back and protect Ashe and Annette. I can tank for us.” They aren’t even on the third stage, what the  _ fuck _ is happening? Dimitri doesn’t have time to dwell, because tanking against enemies that can eat through armor and like to stack on debuffs is a pain and Dimitri hasn’t been prioritizing his tanking abilities. 

Ingrid gets healed by Mercedes thanks to a last-second physic spell, but then Felix tells the group that he’s surrounded. 

“Not for long,” Ashe says. He fires a volley at Felix’s area. With Dedue protecting him, he avoids taking damage from the trash that’s slipped past Dimitri’s messy tank attempts. 

_ I am very out of practice. _ Dimitri makes a mental note to practice more with Dedue. It’s definitely not just a good excuse to spend more time with Dedue. 

Dimitri doesn’t need an excuse. 

Glenn has started to groan. It’s not louder than Dimitri’s headphones, but it is horribly distracting, sending chills up and down Dimitri’s spine. Though it had been seven years since he actually heard Glenn’s dying gasps, Dimitri could remember them better than what he ate last night. 

He might not have eaten last night. Huh. 

“Mercedes, I would like some healing,” Dedue says. 

“On my way.” Mercedes doesn’t sound upset about being tugged back and forth. “I don’t remember how I did this before. This is really hard.” Okay, maybe she’s a little upset. 

“Dimitri!” Ingrid sounds so shocked. Admittedly, Dimitri is also shocked when his screen goes monochrome. 

“I’m out too,” Sylvain says. 

Another minute later, and the guild is back at the start of the raid. They’re a bit beat up and a lot more tense. Dimitri considers switching the raid, going to something easier, but that’s a bunch of bullshit. The entire guild is stronger than the last time they tried this and they’re better players. There’s no reason this should be difficult. 

“That’s my fault, I should be better at spreading healing better. I’ll switch out a few of my spells this time.” Mercedes sighs. Loudly.

“It’s not your fault, Mercie! We’re all playing a bit different than usual,” Annette reassures her. “I think we should go again. We know what we did wrong and we can fix those mistakes.”

“Yeah! We can’t give up now.” Ashe claps his hands together. “Let’s go again! Let’s go again!” 

Dimitri snorts. Glenn is really starting to get distressed. Dimitri hopes that he doesn’t knock the desk over with the way he’s pounding against the wall. It’s impossible to ignore him, but Dimitri is known for being the second most stubborn person in the Blue Lions. Besides, he’s been totally fine for two weeks and he’s not going to make Dedue babysit him again. 

He launches the raid again. 

They wipe. Again. And again. And again. 

“I’m done.” Ingrid is the first to tap out, even though they’re all thinking it. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” She’s off voice before she even logs out of the game. 

Dimitri feels like his teeth have been grit down to stubs with how hard he’s clenching his jaw. He’s barely said anything the last hour. Glenn has stopped fucking thrashing around, but he keeps shaking at sudden moments. The lack of predictability is worse. When he’s still, Dimitri can ignore him. But every twitch is a nail across a chalkboard. 

_ [lucky_strike has sent you a private message!] _

The last thing Dimitri wants to do is be yelled at for an hour about his general incompetence, so ho almost ignores the message. But Glenn is shaking and he looks so much like Felix — and wow, Felix would probably fly out to kill him for real if he knew Dimitri thought that — and the guilt is enough to swallow Dimitri whole. He gets off the voice chat without saying goodbye. Dedue will text him if he’s worried. 

_ [Conversation with lucky_strike] _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: What’s up with Byleth? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: personal things. they’re fine.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Good. We’re a bunch of headless chickens without them. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Guess you’re feeling better though, eh? You didn’t cough all night.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i guess.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: They finally get you on something to make you more of a man? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i’m not doing this tonight, felix.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Whatever. Be a coward. Hide who you are. Someday everyone else will know what you are.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Are you pushing Dedue away or did he realize what’s wrong with you too?  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: dedue has been respecting my wishes. i wish to be left alone. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: So you can stew in your thoughts and let yourself die in a pool of your own piss? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i told you byleth is fine. is there anything you want. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I want you to stop pretending that everything is fine, but I know that reason doesn’t work on people who are beasts.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: You think that accepting your title as the boar is going to make me stop, but it’s only ever made me more certain that you’ve lost your mind.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I don’t know how you’ve deluded anyone - Dedue, Ingrid, my father - into thinking you’re a real person.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: They’ll see what I see, one day. It just better be before you’re dead. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Nothing else to say, boar? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: you always have cared for me.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: do you remember when we started playing. you were the first one to start playing, even before dedue.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: my username has never been to mock you, felix, and you know that.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: if byleth asks, i will tell them that you missed them.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Fuck off. _

_ [End of conversation with lucky_strike] _

Dimitri stares at Glenn, who looks back at him with a gaping hole in his head. There’s not enough blood for him to be real. There’s no smears on the walls, no holes in the plaster, even though he’s been slamming his fists into it all night. Glenn still has all of his teeth. Dimitri runs his tongue over his own.

His stomach rumbles. He gets up and decides to get something to eat. Glenn doesn’t follow him. 

#

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Hello, everyone. You have my apologies. I underestimated how strenuous the weekend would be and it did mean I had to focus on real world things more than usual. I appreciate your concern, but I am all right.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: BYLETH!!!! =^*^= <3333333333 _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Welcome back.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: I’m glad you’re back!  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: hi!!!! we missed you!!! I had to actually behave without you here LOL. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Oh, I’m glad you’re okay. It was weird without you. _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Welcome =^.^= _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Sylvain is lying, he didn't behave any different than normal.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: hello byleth. i am glad you're back.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: It is good to be back.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Welcome back, Byleth! I’m glad that you took the time to take care of yourself.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Is everything figured out with the pesky real world?  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: With midterms coming up, I guess you're just as busy as the rest of us, right?  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Oh yeah, I forget that you're a professor sometimes. You don't seem like any that I've had.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: hey Byleth if you wanna come to UoF and just pass me in all my classes that'd be great ;) ;) ;)  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Oh yes, Goddess forbid that you actually study properly for once.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: How do you even need to study, Sylvain? You understood my chem work better that I did and I'm a biochem major T_T  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Please don't inflate his ego. There's already not enough room in the apartment.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: I can't get by on just my natural charm, just mostly ;) ;) ;)  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: I think that I have a higher Charm stat than you, Sylvain.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Hahahahahaha! =^u^=  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: ha. _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Good point, Dedue.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Don't sell yourself short, Dedue! You're very charming and a wonderful friend and I'm sure that anyone would be lucky to date you!  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Someone please say something.  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Thank you, Ashe. Your compliment is appreciated. _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Ashe, you’re so nice. I think we should compliment our friends more often. And you’re right, Dedue is very charming and handsome.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Right??? Dedue, I’m surprised that you haven’t dated anyone yet. You sure must be waiting for someone extra special!  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: You are both… flattering.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: Ashe, do you want to date Dedue?  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: No! Why do you think that? Do YOU want to date Dedue?  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: We can talk of other things, if people wish.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: so is anyone else thinking we should just play the game and take a bit to not talk to one another about emotionally heavy topics or is it just me???  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: My father died a few weeks ago and I was carrying out a few of his last wishes this weekend.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Sorry, I thought we wanted to change the subject.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I'm sorry about your father, Byleth.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Yeah, if you need more time to handle things, we completely understand.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: We all know how hard it is to lose a loved one. You can talk to us. This guild is a safe space for that.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: I’m sorry. I lost my father too and I know how hard it can be.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: I’m really sorry, Byleth.  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: You have our sympathies.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: you know i understand.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: shit, I’m sorry…  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you. I appreciate the support.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Is there anything we can do for you?  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Yeah!!! Mercie’s been showing me how to make cookies. I’m sure we could send you some.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: They’re very good cookies.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Being part of the guild has, honestly, been more support than I thought.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I never played games like this as a kid. I don’t know what I expected. But being able to log on every evening and play, to forget my problems for a few hours…  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: If I need anything else, I will ask. But for now, your friendship is enough.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: I know I speak for everyone when I say that YOUR friendship has been a huge positive change in our lives.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Definitely!  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: agreed.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: You truly are a blessing from the Goddess!  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: We’re really lucky you picked us. I don’t know what we’d be like without you. _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: No one speaks for me but me, but… I’m glad you’re here too. It’s less boring at least.  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Just say the word and we will be there. _

_ [guild] ofduscur: That was to Byleth, to clarify.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: What??? Felix has a HEART? ~\=^O^=/~  _

_ [guild] sadyofmercy: Felix, I’m so proud of you for expressing your emotions in a healthy way!  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I hate all of you.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: He’s blushing bright red, Mercedes.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I meant that I’m glad Byleth is here because none of you can even come CLOSE to beating me in a fight and it’s boring as hell.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Ha, Felix never thinks of anything other than something being a challenge, huh?  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I have goals and they’re to be the best in everything I do.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: I wanna be the VERY best like NO ONE ever WASSSSSS _

_ [guild] theboarprince: byleth, i want you to know that we will never judge you for anything personal. _

_ [guild] theboarprince: felix, i kicked your ass in our last guild tourney and i’ll do it again. _

_ [guild] yumyum: Hahahaha =^b^= _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: You know, we actually should do another one of those soon. _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: I remember that!!! I was still on my first account LOL _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: It’s okay, Felix, we know that you like being our friend and care about us.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: But you should say it more often.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I swear to the Goddess, I’m leaving and creating my own guild.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: No one else is going to put up with your grouchiness, level 58 or not. _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Excuse you, I’m level 59.  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: And I am level 60, who cares? _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: I was going to make a joke but that’s actually genuinely impressive.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: That does remind me, actually.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Rhea would like us to beta a new dungeon. The developers need a group of people to give their feedback on it and she knows that we play a lot.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: I think that Dimitri and Felix must play more than they sleep, and I’m thinking Dedue is picking up on that habit too -.- _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Whoa, you mean Rhea the Mod wants us to help with the actual development of the game? _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: She probably got asked by the devs, but that’s still super cool.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Ha, maybe something challenging enough to make me actually have fun.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: We wiped like eight times yesterday 0_0  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Um, not like that was your fault, Byleth! =^.^=;;;; _

_ [guild] theboarprince: we’ll do it. just tell us when.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: I can’t believe that we get to test something new before everyone else!  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I will go tell Rhea that we accept.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: do you think this includes me??? I have gotten banned twice…  _

Byleth closed the tab before they could get distracted by Sylvain no doubt arguing the merits of his last ban. As far as byleth knows, it involved a puppet account and getting a script that automatically flirted with anyone’s avatar that fit a certain criteria. Byleth doesn’t really want to know much more than that. They think, privately, that if Sylvain were to apply himself to school and his actual work as much as he does to flirting and avoiding work, he’d probably be light years ahead of his peers. 

Then again, maybe it’s for the best that Sylvain’s a bit of a lazy genius. 

Interestingly, Rhea doesn’t seem to be online. Byleth tries to think of another time when Rhea was off in the evening and can’t think of it. Ceruleandragon is on, though, and Rhea’s said in the past that Seteth is pretty much her second-in-command. 

Without many other options, Byleth sends him a message. 

_ [Conversation with [Mod] Ceruleandragon] _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Hello, I had a question for you.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Yes? What can I help you with?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Rhea invited myself and the Blue Lions to help with beta testing a new raid. I wanted to let her know that we accepted, but she doesn’t seem to be on.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Is there any way you can tell her?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Right, she must not have given you her Eris account. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Interesting, since she seemed fine giving you access to everything else.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: I don’t want to come off as harsh, but it’s been what, two weeks? Three? Since you became a mod and I still hardly know anything about you. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Fire Emblem is a game about connections and bonds against a greater danger. It’s why you have a damage bonus against enemies when you have a party and why being in a group offers an exp boost.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: I don’t want to know every secret you have. But I don’t even know your name.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It’s Byleth. That’s my real name.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I work as a professor at a university. I have a master’s degree in military history.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Ah… I understand now.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Thank you for telling me. As you know, my name is Seteth. I work as a developer and Mod on Fire Emblem along with Rhea.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: None of the developers use the official tag, do they?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Well, some of them do. But Rhea and I are in a different area than bugfixes and crash reports.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: I do want to know you better, but I do have other things to do. I will tell Rhea what you said.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Add me on Eris so that it may be easier for us to communicate. SetethC#1227 _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Added.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Thank you. And I did want to thank you again, Byleth, for helping Flayn the other day. She said she enjoys your company.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It’s fun playing with her. You seem like a good older brother. I have worked with kids in the past, even if I don’t anymore. I can only imagine how much work you have to keep her safe online.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: She is actually older than she seems, she just is… learning.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Is there a reason you don’t want her joining groups?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I am just curious. That wasn’t meant as an attack. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: No, no, I understand. She’s just not ready for them. Only in emergencies can she do that, such as when you found her in Zanado. It is her decision, but one that I support.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Did you have any other questions?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I did.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Do you know anything about Jeralt?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Sorry, I know it is an odd question.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: No, I only had to remember who you were referring to. Unfortunately I do not help develop the NPCs. My understanding is that he is a mercenary or something.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: In-game, he acts as the tutorial and an early guide for new players. Why do you ask?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Curiosity. There’s a lot of missing lore.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: Ah, yes, well that would be my fault. I write it as quickly as I can, but getting it approved is… a lot harder. But, as I said, I have other responsibilities to attend to. We will talk more another time.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Bye.  _

_ [End of conversation with [Mod] Ceruleandragon]  _

Byleth glances at the notebook that they’ve kept by their computer. With a sigh, they reach over to pick it up. Seteth hasn’t hold them much that they don’t already know, but they write it down in the section titled  _ NPC JERALT _ anyways. 

The notebook is fairly small, not a full-sized one, and as nondescript black as it can get. Inside, Byleth has begun scribbling notes and all of the information they know. Their father left his notebook containing his final thoughts and the information on an account in a video game he appeared — appears — in. That NPC looks exactly like him, acts like him, seems to be able to identify Byleth — but no one really has any information on him. 

Absentmindedly, Byleth wonders if Rhea might know more. She is Seteth’s senior, at least as far as Byleth can figure. But if Seteth doesn’t know, then why would Rhea? Byleth figured out when they were a kid that not everyone has special interests. It’s stupid to think that a single person would have all the answers, but they’re still disappointed by how little they know. 

They pull up their minimap and, with a sigh, fast travel to Sothis. They really have been busy — teaching isn’t easy and they’ve been woefully behind on planning — and yes, they’ve been ignoring the tasks they have to do. Notably, they need to talk to Sothis and now is as good a time as any. 

This time they are unsurprised when they load into a completely black environment. Sothis is waiting just like last time. Byleth clicks on her as unenthusiastically as possible. 

_ [NPC] Sothis: Oh, you’re finally done. Let me see what you found.  _

_ [NPC] Sothis: Interesting… _

_ [NPC] Sothis: So many people, people who I feel are familiar, but I can’t remember.  _

_ [NPC] Sothis: What did you think? _

_ [Not much.] [It’s weird.] _

Byleth doesn’t know if they should go with how they feel about everything as a whole or the game itself.  _ Fire Emblem _ is just a fun, online game. Yes, some of the players take it way more seriously than people probably should take a video game and there’s some concerning glitches apparently, but it’s just a game. 

Everything around it is what’s weird. 

_ [It’s weird.] _

_ [NPC] Sothis: Right… There’s something that we’re missing… _

_ [NPC] Sothis: I think we might just have to wait and see what happens next. _

_ [Class Quest: Investigate Garreg Mach is complete!] _

_ [Class Quest: Wait For A Sign] _

That doesn’t really inspire much confidence. Byleth sighs. Other than Sothis’ quest, there’s the one from Jeralt but they can’t do that until next raid night. There’s always fishing or grinding solo, though the majority of the Lions are still on if Byleth wants that exp boost. Felix will always accept a duel, Ashe is fun to grind fights with, and Dedue is the best cook in the game — though cooking is far less interesting than fishing. 

And of course there’s Dimitri, who will sit in silence on chat with you unless you need to talk about something, who doesn’t push too far or insist on discussing things that should lay dormant for another day. He seems to understand what byleth is dealing with better than any young man has any right to understand. He’s also dying. Byleth supposes that might add maturity to anyone. 

In fact, all the Lions are supportive and kind and not at all the stereotypical video game nerds. Byleth doesn’t think they deserve them. Byleth wonders, more frequently now than they used to, if their relationship would be the same if Byleth had met them as a teacher. It doesn’t matter, they know, but… it’s just nice being friends with them first and not a professor. 

Byleth doesn’t want to speak with any of them. 

They log off. The mystery can wait for another day. 

#

“Okay, everyone has logged onto the PBT right? Not the actual game?” Mercedes asks again. 

"Yes, mom," Sylvain replies. "I'm using the super special key from Rhea and logging onto the super secret PBT — not like it's been available for people for literally the beginning of time." He yawns, which cuts his snark in half. 

"This is a great chance to really make a difference in the game, Sylvain. Don't be a butt about it," Ashe chides. 

"Byleth, do the devs want us to record this or something? Is there a survey we have to fill out afterwards?" 

"Ingrid, I can barely hear you," Annette says. 

Ingrid fiddles with her mic a bit. "Is that better?" She comes through much clearer this time and Annette tells her so. "Oh, perfect." 

Dimitri clears his throat. "I have logged in. Where are we entering this code?" 

"In your settings there is an option to enter a code and it should unlock a fast travel option from your map." Byleth glances at the note they have, since the instructions were specific enough that they didn't want to forget anything. Byleth also has their own code, which apparently is needed because their class is unique and specific programming has to be used to transfer their account into the PBT. 

The PBT is almost exactly like the actual game, except it has the latest changes and tests that the devs are running. It is less popular since one's progress in the PBT doesn't transfer over to the main game or vice versa, but the codes Rhea had given everyone should solve that issue. She said that they'd also get an email with a survey after the test was done so they could pass along their feedback, which Byleth tells the group again — or maybe they forgot before and this is the first time. 

"I think I'm in?" Felix says, sounding a bit hesitant for once in his life. "Garreg Mach Crypt?" 

"I'm in too. Oh, I see you Felix!" Annette laughs. "I'm so excited. It looks really cool." 

"My computer is having some difficulty loading," Dimitri confesses. 

"It's because you own a toaster. When are you going to buy a new one?" Sylvain asks. "I'm in." 

Byleth loads in not a moment later. They can see why Dimitri's computer would be having problems — the detail is incredible. The Garreg Mach Crypt has flickering torches, individual cobblestones on the ground, and even the textures on the walls are so well done that certain parts have a sheet of water or slime on them. The only negative is that it is pretty dark, making it hard to see outside of the specific areas with torches. 

"I wonder if they're doing another graphics update," Mercedes wonders. She pulls out a torch of her own, which helps illuminate the area better. Byleth and Sylvain do the same. With a proper radius of light, the Blue Lions — Dimitri included — gather up. 

"I hope that this does not cause issues or crash," Dedue says. His avatar looks cramped in the tunnel, which is a bit hilarious considering both Sylvain and Ingrid  _ fly _ on mounts that have been forced down in scale. It now looks like either Dedue is the size of a wyvern or the wyvern is the size of a small horse. 

For the sake of playing, Byleth hopes the raid itself doesn't take place in just a collection of tunnels. 

"Isn't the point to limit test this?" Felix asks. "Come on, let's go." He starts spamming the  _ Ready _ button like his life depends on it. 

"Hold on, I'm getting a call from my dad?" Ashe mutes himself. 

The group is quiet for a bit before Annette says, "I hope that everything is okay." 

Dimitri grunts. His avatar starts spinning his lance around in the taunt animation. Soon, the tunnel is full of spinning, flying, and twisting weapons as they all taunt. The magic users have their own animations depending on the kind of magic they use. Annette primarily is a fire mage, so her taunt has frames dancing around her in cool designs. Mercedes uses light — it's called faith in game, but everyone knows it's light — based magic so she seems to glow and gets illuminated from above like a literal angel. 

Byleth, logically, is too old to really put much stock in this sort of thing but also, their avatar looks pretty cool with their sword swinging around and glowing gold. 

“Do you think there’s going to be new enemies?” Ingrid wonders. “They’ve been teasing new Demonic Beasts for a while, but I would have thought most of their development has been with the level cap increase.” 

“Maybe it’s lore! It’s been a few months since our last lore dump.” Annette hums. “Ashe would be able to tell us more. He knows tho lore the best.” 

The fact that Byleth hasn’t asked the most obsessive players they know about Jeralt is probably the stupidest thing that they’ve ever done. Or not done. Whatever.    
  


“What is the lore in the game?” Byleth asks. 

Dimitri snorts loudly. “What lore?” 

“The world is ending, Demonic Beasts are evil, kill the evil. Also there’s bandits and stuff.” Felix types something in his keyboard. His avatar starts clapping. “Save the world. Woo.” He sounds like he’s reading someone’s obituary. 

“There’s a lot of lore, it’s just hard to find. I think it’s cool that it’s still our world, just…” Ingrid struggles to find the right word. 

“More fun!” Mercedes suggests. “Although it would be scary, living in a world with Demonic Beasts.” 

There’s more to be said, but the conversation gets cut short when Ashe drops out of the chat. He types a quick apology in the Eris chat and tells them to go ahead. Then his avatar logs off. Byleth frowns. 

“I guess we can go then.” Annette doesn’t sound like she wants to go.

Byleth doesn’t want to play without Ashe either — and oh, hopefully he’s okay because he was so excited and it would have to be something big to make him get off now — but they can’t exactly just reschedule. The devs need feedback and the Lions might not get an opportunity like this again. 

Dimitri coughs. It sounds like he has a hairball, up until he mutes himself. The chat is entirely silent until he comes back. “He wouldn’t want us to stop on his behalf,” Dimitri points out. “Everyone ready up.” 

The lions all hit  _ Ready _ . Byleth is the last one. They send a quick  _ Hope everything is okay _ message to Ashe before minimizing the Eris overlay. Once everyone is set, Dimitri launches the raid. 

_ Welcome, heroes, to the Garreg Mach Crypt! _

A text banner pops up. Music starts playing and the camera actually pans over a separate part of the crypt, some kind of open room with stone coffins and creepy statues and lots of dark, shadowy monsters. It’s a really good design, not to mention it’s really well put together considering it’s still in beta. 

_ The monastery is under attack by an evil organization called Those Who Slither In The Dark. They plan on stealing ancient gems from the coffins of the old saints. These gems, called crest stones, can be used to make more Demonic Beasts.  _

“Oh shit,” Sylvain murmurs. “Ashe is going to be so upset that he’s missing out.” 

“Shh, I’m trying to read,” Annette hisses. 

_ Your mission is to stop Those Who Slither In The Dark and protect the monastery before they make a stronger, indestructible Demonic Beast!  _

“Let me guess, we’re going to fail to stop the evil slithers and they’re going to create a new Demonic Beast—”

“Felix, Annette is trying to read,” Mercedes chides. 

“She can read and listen to me talk, she’s not three,” Felix agues. 

The intro ends, bringing the argument down with it. The party is in a large chamber with a door at the end and no foes in sight. Now that they’re in the game, everyone’s game face is on. 

“Dedue, get the door. Mages in the back, Sylvain and Ingrid cover them. Byleth, stay with me and Felix. Everyone, stay together. We have no idea what we’re facing.”Even though he’s out of breath by the end, it’s clear that Dimitri has gotten a lot better at strategy. Byleth can’t really take credit for it, but they do smile each time he says something that he’s gotten from Byleth. “We aren’t speed running this and we aren’t going for any records. We just want to not wipe and prove that we’re actually semi-competent.” 

“Then we shouldn’t be playing with Sylvain,” Felix drawls, even as he puts his avatar in the right place. 

Dedue moves to the door and opens it. Byleth half expects a swarm of skeletons or rats or something, but the next room seems to be empty. No one moves for a moment, until Dedue takes it upon himself to walk into the room. His avatar gets halfway inside before the statues all come to life and start aggro’ing on him immediately. 

“They’re resistant to fire,” Annette tells the group. 

“I have no room here,” Sylvain complains. “I keep clipping into the walls.” 

“Healing would be appreciated,” Dedue says. Byleth shoots him a quick heal before trying to engage with one of the statues. They’re clearly the trash of the raid, but they have annoyingly high armor and Byleth doesn’t have any armor breaker skills. 

Dimitri is still doing solid damage as is Felix, but Annette has swapped to buffing the others and Ingrid is mostly a distraction. She flies close to the other door and it opens automatically. More of the dungeon becomes visible. In the larger chamber, there’s human foes in red armor but none of them look like a boss or anything particularly dangerous. 

“Ingrid, Sylvain, Annette, start clearing the other room. Mercedes, focus your healing on them. I will cover the others,” Byleth orders. 

“Got it!” Ingrid flies off, followed by Sylvain. She gathers the trash up so Sylvain has an easy time using his stun on them all. “They’re way easier out here.” 

Byleth kind of tunes out that side of the conversation as they focus on trying to keep Dimitri, Dedue, and Felix alive. Felix is dealing decent damage, but he also doesn’t have a high enough avoid to stop from taking a few solid hits that bring his health into the flashing red range. He switches to a more defense stance and Byleth is able to get him into a safer state before blasting a nearby statue with faith damage. 

“Oh,” they realize. “It appears the statues are weak to faith damage.”

“Great, I’ll just completely reclass myself,” Felix drawls. “Give me three years.” 

Byleth rolls their eyes before they can help themself. It’s the singular most unprofosser-like reaction but it’s the only one they can think of in that moment. 

“Okay, this room is cleared,” Dimitri says as he cuts down the last statue with Byleth’s help. He coughs a bit, but doesn’t mute himself since it’s thankfully only a short fit. “Let’s keep going.” 

The four of them — Felix and Dedue following behind — join up. They press into the next room as Sylvain and Ingrid start spreading out, collecting the mobs at the edges of the map and drawing them towards the others. 

“Sylvain, are you seeing this?” Ingrid suddenly says. 

“Whoa… Guys, when you finish that up, you have to look at this.” 

“A little busy,” Dimitri grunts. “Healing?” 

“I’ve got you!” Mercedes runs over and pumps a full blessing into him, bringing him back to full. “Anyone else need a hand?” 

Byleth checks over the party health bars. Dedue is in orange, which makes sense considering he’s surrounded by trash and slowly wading through them like an adult in a kiddie pool. Dimitri and Felix are fine. Sylvain could probably use some help, but he’s too far and Byleth doesn’t have access to psychic so he’ll have to deal with it. Annette and Ingrid are also fine, but have less to work with in terms of health so Byleth tries to monitor them at all times anyways. 

Mercedes is at full health. Byleth’s not sure if they’ve ever seen her at anything less, other than the few times the party has wiped. 

It doesn’t take too much longer for the party to make their way through this round of trash and reunite on what would be the far wall of the chamber. When they get there, Byleth can tell what Ingrid was so interested in. 

A large mural is on the wall, depicting what seems to be a dragon with many red eyes — too many to count — and an army wreathed in shadow stand off against a woman with long green hair and angel wings. She, of course, has her own army with the sun rising behind them. Even in the relatively low resolution of Byleth’s screen, they can tell that the attention to detail is incredible. 

“Do you think it’s actual lore or just window dressing?” Annette asks.

“It is too nice to be a distraction,” Dedue argues.

“Yeah.” Felix whistles. “Check out that dude’s sword.” His avatar runs up to one section and spins around. Byleth has to zoom in to lee, surprised and impressed that Felix could catch that. 

Next to the dragon is a man in dark fur. He has a sword with some kind of serrated blade, the entire thing… glowing. That’s the best Byleth can describe it, a strange red-gold outline otherwise idiosyncratic with the rest of the mural’s lighting. 

Byleth is about to tell the group that they should continue, because even if this isn’t a timed challenge they don’t want to take all night, when their screen goes completely black. 

“What the?” 

“I think my game just crashed!”

“Mine did too.”

“Felix and I both are out. Can you guys still hear us?” 

“It must be a server issue,” Dimitri says. “It’s a big game. The servers used to crash all of the the when the game first came out.”

“This sucks,” Felix says. “Is there anything on their Chirp?” 

“I don’t see anything,” Annette replies.

“Nor on their Mybook,” Dedue adds. “I am attempting to restart my client, but it will not connect to the server.”

Byleth shivers. It’s perfectly warm inside. 

“Look, our collective awesomeness clearly just wrecked the server,” Sylvain jokes. “It’s nothing. Like Dimitri says, it happens all the time. They probably haven’t even noticed the issue yet.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Sylvain.”

“Wait, hold on, let me turn on my audio recording — say that one more time,” Sylvain tells Ingrid. She tells him to fuck off. 

“Should we wait for the server to come back?” Annette asks, saving them all from another round of banter between the two. “I have school tomorrow…”

Byleth pulls up the different social media for  _ Fire Emblem _ but, like the others, can’t find anything about the server crash. “I think we should call it a night. There’s no point waiting up for something if we don’t know when this will be resolved.” Byleth is ready to be the bad guy here — they’re a teacher, it’s their job — but Dimitri grunts.

“Agreed. We do not know if this is a crash or if something happened to the actual servers. We’d be wasting time waiting.” 

“Okay… Well’ good night, guys! This was fun even if we only played a bit.” Annette gets off the chat, followed by Mercedes and Ingrid. 

Felix tries to get back into the server, even restarting his computer like that’s the issue, before eventually giving up. “I’m going to sleep. Bye.” When he leaves, so does Sylvain. 

The chat is quiet for a bit. Byleth shoots a message to Seteth and Rhea, but either they're both asleep or ignoring Byleth. Considering that there’s no reason either of them would even be involved with the servers, Byleth is leaning towards asleep. It is pretty late…

“I am going to sleep as well. Don’t stay up too late,” Byleth tells Dimitri and Dedue. “Dedue, I’m trusting you to ged Dimitri to sleep at a reasonable hour.” 

“I will do my best to make sure he sleeps, Dedue replies. “Good night, Byleth.”

“Good night.” Dimitri doesn’t complain about being coddled, probably because he knows it’s true. Still, Byleth hesitates before they exit out of Eris. 

They hope that everything is okay. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hi. Sorry about the hiatus. Sylvix week uhhh took a lot more energy than I thought and then I had to do something for Asexual Awareness Week, and basically this got pushed back. 
> 
> But I'm back! And hopefully with more regular updates like before. 
> 
> Minor content warning for Dimitri's section. There's pretty much Dimitiri-level horror described, though not as bad as his first section back in the previous chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience and, without further ado, here's chapter seven ^^

The gym is the last place that Sylvain wants to be in. Specifically this gym, with the mats and the buzzers and the equipment bought twenty years ago, back when fencing was actually popular and not just a niche thing now. He only ever had a few meets here at the university, but that doesn't stop him from shivering as the cold air rushes to meet his face. 

The sound of different swords whacking against one another is a chorus all on its own, with an accompaniment of grunting and heavy breathing and footsteps on slick floors. Sylvain doesn't have to guess where Felix is; he just heads towards the épée duels and looks for the masked figure that keeps beating everyone. 

He isn't quite stupid or reckless enough to walk over to Felix immediately, instead lurking on the bleachers and pretending to be on his phone. He keeps glancing up and watching Felix fence, though, and his phone's not even unlocked. No one spares him a glance, least of all Felix, so Sylvain can stare all he wants.

It's been years since Sylvain has slipped into one of the jackets but he can still appreciate how fluidly Felix moves. Not a single motion is wasted. He blocks each blow with ease before twisting his own blade and, like a viper, striking his target. He has no hesitation, none of the silly feints or light taps against his enemy's blade. Felix treats it like a real battle, like they're using live steel and if he loses, he dies. That intensity matches everything else he does, whether it be playing  _ Fire Emblem _ or studying or even listening to music. 

Sylvain sighs. He didn't just come here because he was bored. He also needs to indulge himself every once in a while. He's only human. 

Felix wins the next match. His coach tells him to take five and let some of the others train. Felix pulls his mask off and glares up at Sylvain, who gulps. Maybe he was a bit more conspicuous than he thought. 

Still, he doesn't leave and practice ends not thirty minutes later, Sylvain having only eaten his pride enough to be present for the last quarter of training. He yawns and stretches when he stands, gazing over the other athletes. There's a cute redhead looking at him and he winks at her. She laughs, making a peace sign with her fingers and sticking her tongue through the 'V.' 

He can't help but nod and tilt his head towards where Felix is coming out of the locker room with his gear bag over one shoulder, his phone in one hand and spinning his keychain in the other. A mutual understanding, the kind only fellow gays can really comprehend, passes between Sylvain and the mystery woman. 

"Hey, Fe," Sylvain calls out, scrambling to intercept Felix before he can leave the gym. "You wanna grab dinner?" 

Felix sighs as he looks up from his phone. "Are you buying?" 

"Sure." Sylvain throws an arm over Felix's shoulder, which earns him a glare but Felix doesn't force him away, so it's a win in Sylvain's book. "I'm thinking burgers." 

"As long as you don't spend the whole time flirting with the waiter, I'm fine." Felix puts his phone away, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Did you drive?" 

"Yeah, but let's just walk. It isn't far." 

_ It _ ends up being a small, family-run burger joint that smells like grease and fat and melting cheese. Felix probably is on a diet for the competition, Sylvain realizes, but if there's an issue Felix doesn't say anything. 

The two sit in a corner booth. Sylvain barely even looks at the menu, while Felix pours over it with only the barest glances at Sylvain. It gives Sylvain a chance to look at Felix, to see how he's still sweating a bit from his practice and how a few strands of hair stick to his forehead. Felix, Sylvain has long since decided, is the most handsome man in the world. He's got perfect features, ideal proportions. His hands are rough but Sylvain wants them on his skin. Maybe it's a bit cruel for Sylvain to think so much of his friend's body which betrayed him, but Felix's slim waist and the fact that he's the perfect height for Sylvain to kiss his forehead—

"What can I get the two of you?" The waitress asks, pulling Sylvain out of his daydream of tracing Felix's jaw with his tongue. 

"Water," Felix says.

"Your name, beautiful," Sylvain adds instinctively. The waitress gives him a vague, polite smile even as Felix groans. 

"Please ignore anything that comes out of his mouth." 

"My name is Mist. Do you want anything to drink, or should I give you my boyfriend's number?" 

Felix laughs. Sylvain deserves that and he resolves to leave a higher tip. 

After they order, the waitress walks away. Felix gives him an annoyed look. Sylvain shrugs, playing with his napkin. 

"It's just fun." 

"Is that why you keep getting banned in game?" 

Sylvain grins. "Well, flirting IRL isn't quite as much fun. My avatar has a badass wyvern, after all. Girls love the wyvern." 

"You're an idiot." And, well, Sylvain can't really argue with that. "Why'd you come to my practice? Bored?" 

"Yeah," Sylvain lies. "The game's been down for two days. What else am I supposed to do?" 

"Study?" Felix doesn't sound like he even believes himself. Sylvain rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well, you should." A moment, then:

"Do you even have a challenge during practice?" Sylvain asks. 

"Sometimes." Felix smirks. "If I fence with one hand tied behind my back. Do you ever miss it?" 

And. Well. 

"I really don't. I only fenced because my father made me, you know that." Sylvain falls silent when their drinks come. He ordered a milkshake, if purely for the ability to make jokes the rest of the meal, but now he doesn't feel up for it. Felix sips at his water, looking at the counter. He's avoiding Sylvain's eyes. "I mean, I liked fencing with you and the others, but it wasn't really my thing." 

It's the right thing to say because Felix looks back at him with his typical, unreadable expression. It's like Felix can't decide if he wants to smile or scoff. Felix sips at his water, eyes not leaving Sylvain's face. 

"My brother always said you were the laziest fencer he ever met." It's really,  _ really _ rare that Felix willingly talks about Glenn. Sylvain suddenly feels like he's in the middle of a minefield, except he's also blindfolded and holding a live grenade. 

"Yeah, well, none of us were as good as Glenn. If I wasn't going to be the best, what was the point of even trying? I still showed up and put my reps in, just… a few less." 

Felix snorts. "I remember going to one of the meets before I was allowed to join. You almost got eliminated because you were flirting with a girl from another club." 

Admittedly, Sylvain can't even remember that but it's probably true. It sounds like something he'd do, something he's done multiple times. Let it never be said that he has healthy coping mechanisms. 

"Probably, but I bet it was worth it." 

"I think you got your ass handed to you by her brother." 

"Worth it." Sylvain grins and slurps his milkshake while making eye contact with Felix. He gets a glare for his trouble. 

"You did saber, right?" 

"Yup. Because I thought it would be the easiest." Sylvain laughs. "I don't know either. I wasn't very good and you can say it. You could kick my ass — fuck, Dimitri could beat me, and he usually fenced foil…" 

Felix frowns. Dimitri might be a difficult topic like Glenn, but it's less likely to result in Felix being completely moody for the rest of the night so Sylvain will take it. Still, he's not above a distraction. He slurps his milkshake, waggling his eyebrows at Felix. 

"Hey, you know what my milkshake brings to the yard?" 

"Nothing, if you know what's good for you," Felix drawls. He reaches out and swipes a dollop of whipped cream off the top. Sylvain watches him suck his finger clean and tries not to drool. "You were a bad fencer."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You never really cared. Before meets, you'd train the same as the rest of us but you'd always be making excuses or goofing off. Even when you lost, you just shrugged it off. It was obvious you didn't really care. I don't know why your father kept you in it for so long." 

"He only took me out after…" Sylvain gestures vaguely. Felix nods. 

They're silent for a moment. The waitress — Mist — drops off their food. Sylvain realizes he is a lot hungrier than he thought and digs in. He can't help but be thankful for the distraction. He inhales his fries, only pausing to finish off his drink and breathe occasionally. Felix is slower, always has been. Funny, because Sylvain is the neat freak in the apartment, but Felix eats like a cat — prim and proper.

"You know," Sylvain says as his gluttony subsides, "I really can't believe the servers haven't gone back up yet." 

"For  _ Fire Emblem _ ?" Felix waits until Sylvain nods, as if there's any other game Sylvain would be talking about. "They had a security breach. They probably want to make sure they don't get sued or something. As long as I get my account back with everything the way it should be, they can take as long as they want." 

"You also have a life outside of the game," Sylvain teases. "I'm bored. Flirting in the real world—"

"Yeah, yeah, it's easier to be a creep online. Go figure." Felix rolls his eyes. "Study. Go on a walk. Consider your life choices. Maybe it's a good thing the game is down for a bit." 

Sylvain shrugs. "Do you think Dimitri is actually getting sleep?" 

Felix snorts so loudly that Sylvain half expects water to come out of his nose. "No. What was that game he played before  _ Fire Emblem _ ? You either have a beta key, get invited by a friend, or pay like a hundred bucks for an account?" 

"Oh right, and he tried to get us to play it but it was too difficult…  _ Ten Swords _ ?" Sylvain can vaguely remember what Felix is talking about. "I don't know." 

"Yeah, well, I bet he's just doing that now." 

"If he can find anyone to play with."

This time, Felix shrugs. "I don't think the boar really cares. I don't know what his deal is." 

Sylvain knows better than to argue, so he just takes another bite out of his cheeseburger. It's greasy and fatty and oil smears on his fingers alongside ketchup and melted cheese. It's delicious and definitely bring him closer to an early grave. But oh, what a way to go.

Halfway through his next bite, he thinks of something and tries to speak. Felix just gives him a look.

"Use your words," he chides. Sylvain swallows his food. 

"I said, I wonder how Byleth is doing. They seemed really invested in the game too, and they're a mod so they must know what's going on. Actually, I could probably text them…" 

"The last thing they would want is you texting them about the server status for a video game. They're a fully grown adult; they'll be fine." 

Sylvain supposes that makes sense. He resolves himself to enjoy Felix's company and not think about anything else. Well, as much as he can at least. 

#

The good thing: Byleth has caught up with all of their grading and various class planning. The rest of their classes should be smooth sailing from here, even though there's a few months left of the semester. 

The bad thing: now that they don't have more things to do with classes and  _ Fire Emblem _ is down, they're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Oh, Rhea and Seteth have sent them messages about how the servers are updating. Other than that, there's nothing new. 

As any person who doesn't know what they're doing with their life and is in search of niche information, Byleth has resorted to Googol. There's not a lot of information out there that they don't already know, and they're starting to feel like they're chasing some rabbit down a hole. To Quickpedia it is. 

_ [This article is in need of additional citations. It relies entirely or solely on a single source, or lacks citations entirely.]  _

_ Fire Emblem is an MMORPG created by indie developers Genesis Systems [1]. The early beta was released five years ago with anywhere from 10,000 to 15,000 players involved in closed beta. An additional 15,000 were invited for the open beta [2]. The beta stage lasted about a year before the game version 1.0 released with over 400,000 players, largely attracted through word of mouth [citation needed].  _

_ Now with an average of 700,000 to 1,000,000 players a month, Fire Emblem is on patch 4.6, with a patch coming out approximately once every other month [3]. As of present day, Genesis Systems does not have plans for an additional games [citation needed]. _

_ [Development]  _

_ [Gameplay]  _

_ [Reception]  _

_ [Criticism]  _

_ [See Also]  _

_ [References]  _

The Quickpedia article is relatively short. Surprisingly so, considering. And the game website itself is also pretty vague, just talking about a bit of lore and the gameplay. The developer is only on the very bottom of the website, which is the opposite of what Byleth would think, but what do they know about game development? 

For the fifth or sixth time in the last few days, they click on the  _ [Criticism] _ section of the Quickpedia article, as if something new will have shown up. 

_ [Criticism]  _

_ Fire Emblem was originally announced almost a decade prior to the eventual release date [1]. Due to unforeseen delays, the developers stopped working on the game for over seven years before resuming. Some have questioned the exact reason for this delay, but the developers have historically ignored any questions about these events [citation needed].  _

_ There also was initial controversy over the announcement of Fire Emblem. Many of the Genesis System developers originally worked with rival group The Nabatean Company [4]. However, due to "creative differences," a team of about three individuals left The Nabatean Company and created their own MMORPG. Fans attacked Genesis Systems for making what fans felt was a copy-cat of Radiant Heroes: Ten Swords, which is The Nabatean Company's flagship game [citation needed]. However, once Fire Emblem was released, the differences were apparent to many fans and the criticism has died down in recent years [citation needed].  _

Byleth isn’t sure what’s more frustrating: the fact that the few present citations are just back to the game’s website, the threadbare Genesis Systems site, or the missing citations. They already tried looking up The Nabatean Company, but the studio is pretty much defunct according to all sources — after  _ Fire Emblem _ did everything that  _ Radiant Heroes _ did, but better, players abandoned the game en mass. 

It just means, functionally, that Byleth ends up with a lot of dead ends and nothing to do. 

Their phone buzzes at the same time as a notification on their computer lets them know that they have a message in The Blue Shits, which is the Eris channel for the Blue Lions. It’s Mercedes, asking if anyone wants to sit in voice chat while she works on some homework. Byleth sees Mercedes, Annette, and Sylvain all get on, while Ingrid apologizes but cites an upcoming midterm as her excuse. There’s no response from Dimitri, Dedue, Ashe, or Felix.

That’s normal enough, but Byleth realizes they actually haven’t spoken with Dimitri since the game went down. Dimitri doesn’t look like he’s online, but Byleth still sends him a message. 

_ Byleth: Hey, how are you? _

_ Byleth: Just haven’t heard from you in a few days and wanted to check in.  _

They stare at their screen for a few minutes. There’s no reply. Dimitri doesn’t even get on Eris, the little dot by his name still grey. Changing tactics, Byleth opens their conversation with Dedue. They can’t help but smile every time they see Dedue’s Eris name —  _ cookingdaddy420 _ was apparently the result of a lost bet with Sylvain, but Dedue’s cooking ability is about the only thing the Lions can consistently agree on, so it's still fitting. 

_ Byleth: Hey, is Dimitri okay? _

_ Byleth: Are you okay? I haven’t seen either of you online in a while. _

_ cookingdaddy420: Hello. Dimitri and I are fine. He has been coping. _

_ cookingdaddy420: He has therapy today.  _

_ Byleth: I'm glad to hear that.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: To the best of my understanding, he is bored, which is better than the alternative.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: How are you, Byleth?  _

_ Byleth: I am okay. Much more productive than before I began playing the game. _

_ cookingdaddy420: Yes, I think we all have been seeing that.  _

_ Byleth: You are also bored, then?  _

_ cookingdaddy420: Yes, but less than Dimitri. It is one of the busier times of the year.  _

_ Byleth: Where do you work?  _

_ cookingdaddy420: I work at an elderly community living center. With the holidays in a few months, we are preparing for the inevitable flu outbreaks, family visits, disappointments, and passings. _

_ Byleth: Well… as long as you like it. _

_ cookingdaddy420: I do enjoy it. The members are, for the most part, very kind.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: And I refuse to accept all of Dimitri's money. He insists on trying to pay me, as if I am paid help and not his friend.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: Or he refuses my aid entirely.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: My apologies, it has been a frustrating few days.  _

_ Byleth: I can imagine.  _

_ Byleth: He told me about his condition. If that's what it can be called. I imagine that is difficult to try to assist him with.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: Yes, it is. I'm glad he told you. The therapy has been helping, but his guilt… even when we tell him otherwise, the ghosts haunt him and I can't stop that.  _

The slow realization that they're talking about two completely different things hits Byleth. They bite their lip, fingers resting on top of their keyboard keys. Do they say something? Do they keep it secret? 

What ghosts are haunting Dimitri? 

Byleth thinks back through their conversations with Dimitri. They slowly type their response to Dedue before erasing it. This happens a few times, not sure how to exactly ask for a confirmation to something they should already know. Instead, they keep it vague. 

_ Byleth: He's fortunate that he has you to help him. He needs more people in his life who care.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: Agreed. He knows that everyone does care, but it can be difficult when there's so much distance.  _

_ Byleth: Has everyone ever been in the same room?  _

_ cookingdaddy420: Well, Dimitri, Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix were childhood friends. I believe their parents all knew one another. I have met them through my friendship with Dimitri.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: I believe that Mercedes, Annette, and Ashe have all met before.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: But there has never been a convenient time for all of us to meet.  _

_ Byleth: Understandably.  _

_ Byleth: Well, maybe that can be arranged? Do you think Dimitri would like that?  _

_ cookingdaddy420: He would not admit it, but I think he would.  _

Admittedly, it isn't like Byleth has the money to just drop what they're doing and go fly to another part of the country. That's even assuming everyone is in the same country as them — time zones can be deceptive. But it's a nice thought. 

They're thinking about what to say next, smushing a bit of stimming slime between their fingers, when they see they've been mentioned in the Eris chat. They go to close the notification, thinking that it's someone just asking if they want to get on chat, but stop when they see it's a message from Ashe. 

Not just that, but it's long enough that there's still more being sent. 

_ arrowguy1017: Hi @everyone I'm really sorry that I've been mia, I hope that I didn't worry you too much. I'm fine, but I needed to give you guys a heads up because some stuff has come up? I don't really know what to call it. But I just thought you guys should know.  _

_ In case you didn't know, my adopted dad Lonato does a lot of work in IT and computer software development. Recently, his company has been doing a lot of research into AI and data tracking. Specifically, he's researching how people collect information from others using hyper intelligent programs and sell that data for whatever — kind of like in the last election where people kept getting ads targeted to them based on stuff collected through social media.  _

_ So, the reason why I'm bringing any of this up is because tomorrow, at about 0700, an article is going to be published that Lonato helped work on. In it, there's evidence collected through some of his data that Fire Emblem and the developer, Genesis Systems, has a hyper aware AI program that collects all the information that is typed into the game and stores it. It isn't super clear, but all of it seems to get processed and stored by another program, like some kind of third party.  _

_ No one really knows what they're doing with this data, but it seems like they have an assigned personality to each data collection — essentially some kind of profile of you, just based on your actions and words in game. And this is for literally everyone who has ever played, even for a bit.  _

_ I know that this sounds crazy, like tinfoil hat Ashe who's been reading too much science fiction, but my dad showed me what he collected and it's really, really weird stuff. Obviously I can't show you, but you'll see it all tomorrow. It's way more than a normal game, like there's no reason for them to be doing this.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I'm not going to make anyone stop playing or be mad if people keep playing, but this is really serious and I think I'm going to be taking a bit of a break. I know Lonato doesn't want me to play anymore. I guess that I don't think it'll be smart to keep playing.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I still want to be friends and I want to make it clear that I started playing the game because Lonato suggested it, but I didn't even realize he was researching it until he called me the other night. This is just as brand new to me as it is to you.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I guess if you have questions, I'll gladly answer as much as I can? I don't know or understand a lot of the techno babble, but Lonato helped me with the big picture stuff.  _

_ OGGalatea: Is this for real?  _

_ ladyofmercy: Ashe, what are you saying? Is the game tracking us? I don't think I understand.  _

_ ladykiller6969: it's a video game. there's no way that it's some kind of big conspiracy. _

_ omnomnom: I dunno, there's lots of really scary things out there….. and we've all spent so much time on the game, they probably know everything about us :scream:  _

_ ladykiller6969: yeah, but everything's got tracking on it now. doesn't make fe any different, it's just that there's people investigating them. _

_ cookingdaddy420: Ashe, I want to believe you, but I must ask… Why was your father investigating the game at all?  _

_ arrowguy 1017: The game isn't tracking you specifically, I think, but it could. Like, it's got a file that's got your IP address and they associate everything with you. _

_ ladykiller6969: okay, but that's literally what all games do. how do you think I keep getting banned? _

_ omnomnom: Do you guys think that we need to change our computers or something? :Cold_sweat:  _

_ arrowguy1017: I don't know what Lonato was doing. He only told me a few days ago about this at all.  _

_ arrowguy1017: And Sylvain, it's a lot different. They're actually able to see exactly what you sent ever since you started playing and can predict what you're going to do. It's a huge program. They could guess who is going to like a change even before the change is announced.  _

_ ladykiller6969: again, not that unusual? like, if you guys want to make a big deal out of it, that's cool…. I just don't really think I care.  _

_ lucky_strike: Of course, you don't care.  _

_ ladyofmercy: I think it's pretty scary… I understand they have to hold some data, but I wouldn't want them having all of it forever.  _

_ OGGalatea: Something being normal doesn't mean that it's a good thing… but I think I'll have to read the full article before I make any decisions.  _

_ OGGalatea: Thank you for telling us, Ashe.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I don't know why Fire Emblem got investigated specifically. Lonato said he couldn't tell me. But thank you for listening to me, even if I sound crazy.  _

_ Byleth: You don't sound crazy. There is a lot we don't know about the game or the developers.  _

_ Byleth: Regardless of what happens, though, I think we all need to wait and see what the response is. _

_ ladykiller6969: I guess. if this is something sinister, someone will investigate. _

_ cookingdaddy420: Are you okay, Ashe?  _

_ ladyofmercy: Oh, yes, I hope everything is all right.  _

_ ladyofmercy: Thank you for telling us. _

_ omnomnom: Yeah~! :Revolving_hearts: _

_ arrowguy1017: I'm okay. Lonato's been busy and my siblings don't get why I'm worried about this.  _

_ arrowguy1017: Trust me, I want it to be nothing just as much as the rest of you. I just don't know… _

_ lucky_strike: We're speculating on something that Ashe barely understands and the rest of us haven't seen.  _

_ lucky_strike: Besides, I have better things to do than worry about a game.  _

_ omnomnom: It's more than just a game, Felix, it's how we all met! :Angry:  _

_ OGGalatea: I can't believe that I'm agreeing with Felix, but he's right. We can't spend all our time worrying about something now when it won't even come up until tomorrow.  _

_ cookingdaddy420: If we are done speaking of it, then I am leaving for now. I have errands to run.  _

_ OGGalatea: If you're going to see Dimitri, tell him to reply to my texts.  _

_ ladykiller6969: yeah I'm off too. bye guys. _

_ ladyofmercy: Byleth, you've been awfully quiet, even for you. What are your thoughts?  _

_ Byleth: We need to wait. We don't have the full picture.  _

_ omnomnom: You're a mod, right? You'd tell us if there were any weird things going on behind the scenes?  _

_ Byleth: I don't know all that much myself, but I haven't seen anything weird.  _

The chat keeps pinging with alerts as Byleth switches channels, going to the one all the mods share. There hasn't been any activity since that morning, when Rhea shared that the servers should be online again in the next few days. Even checking the channel member list doesn't provide any answers. Most of the mods are offline. Seteth is away, Catherine —  _ Thunderstrike _ in game — is on Do Not Disturb. 

Byleth hasn't talked with Rhea in a few days. They don't know why that would change now. Looking in their private message history, the last time was actually immediately after the game crashed. Oh, they've certainly heard from Rhea, just not personally. 

They surprise themself with how genuinely disappointed they feel. 

Their eyes hurt. They glance at the clock. It isn't even that late, they just haven't been sleeping well. Then again, they haven't been sleeping well since their father died. 

Byleth sighs and sends a quick  _ going to sleep, good night, _ message to the group chat before logging off. They have a feeling that sleep will remain ever elusive that night. 

#

Dimitri isn't allowed to drive. It's not just a matter of his lackluster depth perception, but also an inability to, as Sylvain put it once,  _ chill the fuck out for five seconds _ . He tends to see the shambling corpses of his dead loved ones and they like to distract him to the best of their ability, so it's not a great combination. He has his license is the thing, got it before the tragedy, but he's never been in a car since. 

So he takes the bus to therapy. 

He listens to music, usually, an earbud dangling out of one year while the other rests on his chest. It's a twelve minute ride on the 412, then he gets off and waits for about three minutes for the 602. He takes that to Sunset and Temple, when he has to walk the last ten minutes to the actual appointment. 

He has enough money to get a ride and he knows that Dedue would do it in a heartbeat if allowed. Dimitri is just trying to lessen his grip over Dedue, trying to put more between them so that Dedue can have actually freedom. A future. Also, his therapist gives him a disapproving look every time she sees that Dedue has accompanied Dimitri outside. 

_ It can be difficult, but you can't continue to use Dedue as a crutch. It isn't fair to you nor is it fair to him. _

As per usual, his therapist was right. 

"Tell me about your dreams." Lynn is deceptively young looking. She has long hair and always wears nice clothes, giving her the appearance of a thirty year old, but Dimitri looked her up — she's been practicing for about twenty years. She also doesn't let him get away with anything, much as he tries. 

"There isn't much to say." Dimitri shifts in his seat. The chair is pretty small. Maybe he's just big. His phone keeps buzzing. He slips a hand into his pocket to silence it. "They happen. I deal with it." 

"And why do you say that you deal with it?" 

"They… they're usually the same. We've talked about them before — I don't get why we have to beat this horse again." 

"So would you say that you're still having recurring nightmares?" 

And, well, damn. Dimitri knows the point is to talk about what's troubling him and his massive survivor's guilt complex, but… 

He doesn't really want to talk about the fact that he wakes up in a cold sweat more often than not, that he avoids sleeping to try to dodge the nightmares. It's been years and years but the smell of smoke still makes his hands tremble. He doesn't keep a bucket by his bed anymore, hasn't needed to since the vomit stopped being a regular presence in his life. 

"I guess." Dimitri shrugs. "I am used to them. They don't affect me as much as they used to." 

"What was the last dream you had?" Lynn asked, writing something down on her notepad. 

Dimitri looks down. His hands are red. "I'm back in the embassy. It's the moment before… before it happens. But everyone is already dead. They're already just bodies, skeletons with fractures like smiles, but they… They just… they keep acting like nothing is wrong. I try to warn them, to tell them that they need to leave, but they don't listen to me." Dimitri is used to the feeling of blood in his hair. His father likes to run his fingers through it. 

"Why do you say that they need to leave? What about yourself?" 

"... I already got out, though." Dimitri doesn't look at her. "I try to tell them, but they pretend I'm some child and then I smell smoke and… then I wake up." 

He doesn't have many memories of the explosion itself, actually. The world was right and then it wasn't. He remembers the smell of smoke and the taste of blood and ashes on his tongue. He remembers hearing Glenn cry out for his father, for his brother, for Dimitri. He remembers his father's dead eye looking at him. The other was popped like a balloon. 

The embassy bombing was ruled an act of terror. Condemned as inhumane extremists acting against their own wishes. Most of the casualties were people of Duscur who worked in the building, not those from Faerghus. The goals of the bombing weren't clear either. Something about wanting to kill imperialist pigs. 

Dimitri doesn't remember a lot about the explosion. Rodrigue considers that a blessing. Dimitri thinks it's a curse. Maybe if he could recall it, then he wouldn't be so afraid of it happening again. 

"It happens almost every night," Dimitri whispers. 

"And it didn't before?" 

"Not like this." He sighs. "It's the same thing every time. I'm trapped in a maze of my own making." 

Lynn has a kind smile. She's too kind, sometimes. Dimitri doesn't know if he can trust her, but Rodrigue and Dedue both made him promise to do his best. He doesn't quite know what that means, but he doesn't lie to Lynn and he actually shows up, which is as much as anyone could ever ask of him. 

"We've talked about breaking habits. What's the first thing you have to do?" 

Dimitri sighs again. His hands itch. "Recognize them." 

"Exactly." Lynn adjusts her glasses. "Have you been keeping a journal like I suggested?" 

Dimitri shrugs. "It's not useful. It's all the same thing. I see things and it bothers me. I don't see things and I fear when they will return. My lungs ache and I'm reminded that I'm living on borrowed time." 

"I think that you need to reframe how you see journaling. It's not just to regurgitate what happened that day or how it made you feel. Is that important? Yes. It's good to be able to track if some things make you happy or if other things make you sad. But you also need to be able to actually process what happened to you.”

“It’s been over seven years and I still see the dead bodies of my father and friend. What’s the point of trying to process that? It was a tragedy. It was an act of resistance and terror and I was caught in the middle. I was little more than a child. And I'm never going to be the same." Dimitri squeezed his hands shut. His destroyed eye burned. "I don't know what  _ processing _ looks like. I don't remember who I was before this." 

Lynn gave him a sad, soft smile. "It looks like whatever you want it to be, Dimitri. I know that you feel like this is useless, but you still have many reasons to be the best man you can be." 

"And what reasons are those? My friends?" Dimitri spits. 

"Yes." Lynn doesn't leave room for argument. "I know we did this when you first started therapy and you couldn't answer, but I want you to make a list of ten things that you are happy about it your life. Bring it in next week and we'll talk about it." 

"Fine." 

"Thank you. Now, tell me about how you've been eating…" 

#

_ Dev Log #153: Server Update And A Response To Recent Allegations _

_ Hello, heroes! As you may have noticed, the servers have become active once more for all regions starting at 0100 CFT. We thank you greatly for your patience and cooperation over the last few days. Steps have been taken to add redundancy that was previously not present in hopes of eliminating any further occasion where server issues could cause widespread downtime to this extent. We also want to make it clear that any server issues are independent of more recent events, though the extended shutdown did arise as a result of wanting to give complete cooperation to an investigation that did occur by Faerghus officials.  _

_ This investigation has since then concluded and their report, which will further clear up any confusion or suspicion, will be released as soon as it is available. Naturally, we will alert all our members when this occurs so that you may read it at your own leisure.  _

_ Now, we are aware of the article published in Faerghus Science. It is quite serious for such a well-known online news source to accuse Fire Emblem of having malicious intent towards our players, so we wish to address it directly to clear up what is a grave misunderstanding of our game. After reviewing the data presented, it is clear that the authors of the article withheld crucial information in order to satisfy their intent of slandering Fire Emblem and Genesis Systems.  _

_ First, the article states that Fire Emblem is consistently tracking and storing the private data of our players and, furthermore, actually processes that data in order to form some kind of directory or online identity for our players. This is irrevocable falsehood. While Fire Emblem does store certain pieces of information on our players, such as IP addresses and minor of keystroke tracking, this is purely to protect players from account hacking, cheating, and other unfair mechanics. Many MMORPG games also keep this data, sometimes for upwards of ten years, and the devs at Genesis Systems feel that it is unfair and inaccurate to depict Fire Emblem as the only game who does so.  _

_ Any data that is collected is industry standard to hold the game fair and equal among all players. Yes, some history is kept for players so that we may administer proper discipline when there is a Code of Conduct breach, but that is also normal among most online games.  _

_ Second, the article seems to be under the impression that Genesis Systems is selling our players data to a third company. This is incorrect. All information on players is kept within Genesis Systems staff and security. It is true that the information largely gets processed through an automated system. Yes, some people would refer to this as an AI, however it is not more an AI than our anti-cheating programs or spell check on your phone. The AI that takes this information is searching for specific combinations of words and phrases that are colloquially referred to as "toxic" and administers reports on necessary. Again, this is similar to what thousands of other games do every day.  _

_ Now, we understand there is a great deal of concern over the article mentioning the possibility of player data being sold. We want to make it clear that not only would this never and has this never happened, and that Genesis Systems is committed to your security and safety. We encourage players to refer to the terms and conditions (linked below) which outline what information is kept and establishes that we will never sell your data.  _

_ Of course, transparency is incredibly important to us. Developer SunshineKnight will be available tomorrow starting at 1600 CFT to answer any other questions or concerns that you may have.  _

#

It ends up not being a very big deal at all, though Byleth does hear a few students talking about it before or after class. They don't bother adding their own opinion, which is that if a person really wanted to keep their information off the web and not for sale, then they shouldn't be on the internet at all. But, they're not here teaching internet safety or privacy laws, so they stay out of it. 

The Blue Lions are awkward about coming back to the game, seeing as it's Ashe's adopted father who started all of this, but they don't bring it up. Mostly. 

_ [guild] lucky_strike: You're lucky that you're not banned permanently from the game. _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Felix!  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Don't listen to him, of course we're glad that you still want to play. =^.^=  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: You are an important part of this guild. We do not hold anything against you, least of all the actions of someone else.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Okay, thanks guys… I just don't want things to be awkward between us. I really like playing this game, you know I do.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Don't listen to Felix, he's just being dramatic.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: you know he's always like this lollllll _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I never said I wanted Ashe banned, just that he's lucky he isn't.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: The game has been slow ever since all that shit came up in the news. No one wants to play something when they think their data is getting sold to Adrestia or something.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Half the game is played by Adrestians. _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: So?  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: we are not having this argument. if you two want to fight, take it to pm.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: We should celebrate being able to play again. What if we did a raid?  _

_ [guild] yumyum: That sounds like fun~! And you can work all your aggression out, Felix =^×^=  _

_ [guild] the boar prince: we are overdue for a raid. if everyone has time, we can run a few.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: im actually a semi-decent level, so im down!!!! _

_ [guild] ofduscur: That sounds nice, Dimitri. I will do whatever you wish.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Typical, we're just going to go back to business as usual.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Isn't that what you want?  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I will be able to join a raid later, but the mods are working extra to help manage the game.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I want someone else to acknowledge that Lonato's over ambitious article could have destroyed this game and that no one is making a big deal over the fact that our information is being kept and stored, but it's okay because at least they're not selling it.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: I already apologized for what my adopted dad did. I'm not saying anything else. It wasn't my decision or actions that caused this.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: if you hate this so much, then leave.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: we all read the same terms and conditions. if you dont agree, then dont play.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: but this conversation is over. i am not babysitting a bunch of toddlers.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: either get ready for a raid or get off.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I need air. Have fun.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: im gonna talk to him. sorry, hes been in a shitty mood recently.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: ill text the group later!!!  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Dimitri, I'd like to raid if you are.  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Yes, do not let Felix's bad mood upset you.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: if i let that happen then i would eternally me in a bad mood.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: get on eris. _

Byleth wants to, but cannot. They weren't lying when they said the mods had a meeting. 

_ [[Mod] Rhea has invited you to their group!] _

_ [Accept?] _

_ [Yes.] _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the observant of you will notice that there's a chapter count. It's not 100% set in stone, but I'd say it's like 80% for sure. So yay.
> 
> And hey, two weeks of updates in a row! Woo! 
> 
> Enjoy :)

_ [groupchat] [Mod] deadeye: What’s the situation? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Don’t be such a spoiler sport! We should be excited that the game is back.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Everything has been running smoothly so far, has it not? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Ceruleandragon: I will knock on wood and throw some salt over my shoulder for us all.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Byleth: Hello.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] SunshineKnight: Hello, my friend! How have you been?  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] deadeye: I merely have other things to do than a team meeting.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: It’s okay, Seteth! I have a monitor for the servers and they’re going strong.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Oh, come on, Shamir, lighten up. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Play the game. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: It is a game, but it is something very important to many people. So no, it’s not just a normal game. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Byleth: I’m okay. How are you? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: I know, Rhea, but we should still enjoy ourselves now that everything is back to normal.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: It is not, though. We have only reached about 85% player return since the article was published. Existing players have been unruly — there has been a 26% increase in reports of violations of the code of conduct. And the effort to regain control over the servers has pushed back development on every other aspect of the game.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] deadeye: You still haven’t fully explained the security breach with the servers.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: Sorry I’m late, what have I missed? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: I’ll PM you. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: The servers had a minor security concern, but Alois can speak on that in more detail. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Of course, this stays between us mods. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Of course. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] deadeye: Mhmm. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Byleth: Understood.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] SunshineKnight: Well, we found out that the attempt to break through our firewalls was most likely an independent contractor from Lonato Gaspard, or at least someone hired by him. But the extended pause in server activity was due to the investigation by Faerghus government forces. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] SunshineKnight: As you all know, we are towards the center of the continent, but we officially fall into the jurisdiction of Faerghus.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] deadeye: And their report is coming out next week, right? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: Oh, that’s still being released? I thought you said that they were consolidating it, Rhea. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I have spoken with the head of investigation and it will be released in full, but the short points will further validate our innocence. I do not know what Mr. Lonato’s intentions were, to target our game specifically, but we have weathered the storm. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: Now we must rebuild.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] SunshineKnight: Here here!  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Rhea, do you still think that Seiros will want my report this week? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] deadeye: Now that we’re done - and I assume we’re done - I’m going to go grind. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Thunderstrike: Can I join you??? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] deadeye: If you want. _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Rhea: I will ask Seiros. But yes, Shamir, we’re done for today.  _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Byleth: Can we speak, Rhea? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: I think I’m going to go deal with the mass of reports I have to go through. Anyone want to help me? _

_ [groupchat] [Mod] Songstress: Don’t all volunteer at once. _

Byleth closes the chat, mentally wishing Manuela good luck at dealing with a miserable job. They take a deep breath. The Blue Lions chat is still buzzing and they can see their Eris notifications are also adding up. They click through them just to make sure there’s nothing absolutely critical. 

It looks like the majority of the group is in a raid, which makes sense. Felix and Sylvain are both offline, which Byleth expected. They want to join the raid, surprisingly sad that they’re missing out, but they’re comforted knowing that the usual night is tomorrow so they’ll probably be able to join in that time. 

_ [[Mod] Rhea has sent you a private message!] _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Hello, Byleth. How are you today? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I am doing well. I’m glad that the game is back. I missed it. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I did too. I understand when people say that this is only a game, and perhaps I do take it too seriously, but I cannot help but…  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It’s very important for many people. It being a game doesn’t diminish that.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It’s a connection between people. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Exactly. And the knowledge that a game that I have helped with is something that has brought so many people happiness…  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: It is why I was so quiet during the… concerning period. I regret not being in touch, but I was so overcome with emotion — I could not stand the thought of this game being shut down over a misunderstanding.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I realize that it may sound odd, but I have devoted so much of my time to this work that I do not know what I would do without it.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I thought that the game has only been out for a few years? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Yes, but it takes a long time for something such as this to be created.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: But I assume you had something else you wanted to talk to me about? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Yes. It was about the game. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I assumed so, though I enjoy speaking with you about other things as well. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: What questions do you have for me?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Have you heard of the NPC Sothis at all?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: What do YOU know of Sothis?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: You should not know who that is. _

_ [whisper] [Wod] Byleth: During my tutorial, Sothis was the one helping. Not Jeralt. And I keep getting quests from her related to my class.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I thought you might know more, since no one else seems to know anything. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Sothis is an NPC that we developed back at the beginning of the game. I suppose you could say she’s an abandoned questline, a concept that we coded and designed but never implemented.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: You shouldn’t be able to see her, much less talk to her and receive quests from her. What kind of things does she have you doing? What has she been saying?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Largely simple things. Fetch quests or exploring.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: It could be connected to your class, which also is largely developmental… I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, but there aren’t any other players with your quest since it’s not actually offered.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I will confess, that originally is what drew my attention. I thought you had to be some kind of a hacker and I wanted you close by so I could keep an eye on you. But you don’t know what’s going on anymore than the rest of us, do you? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Not really, no.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I have to ask, but would you be okay with me passing your case along to the proper people so they can investigate it further?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: As you are hopefully aware, we keep lengthy game logs. Yours may have information that we can use to see what exactly Sothis is doing.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You have my permission. I have nothing to hide.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Excellent. Thank you, Byleth.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: As soon as I discover anything else, I will let you know. Was there anything else that you had questions about? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Why was Sothis abandoned? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: It was not my decision. I don’t know much more than that, I’m afraid.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Okay. Thank you for your help, Rhea. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Anytime. _

#

The mass of papers on Byleth’s dining room table are not particularly surprising, but they usually are grading schoolwork or planning out the next assignment. Today, however, they have the assorted notes that they’ve been painstakingly collected over the last few months. Special interests and hyperfocus have never been so useful in their life. 

They feel their head pound and they kind of want to throw everything out the window. It all seems to go in circles. They joined the game to try to find out more about their father, but all that’s happened are more surprises and questions keep arising. Despite reading the entirety of their father’s journal, they know even less about him now than they did before. 

And what kind of company doesn’t have an internet presence that can be meticulously tracked? Oh, it’s all there if you just want to see the game. But the actual developer exists mostly behind the game, lurking in little copyright symbols and small logos. 

Byleth rests their head against the tablecloth. There’s a bunch of crumbs that they probably should deal with. They make up their mind to do it later. 

Groping around the table, they pull over the list they’ve made of the quests that both Jeralt and Sothis have given them, thinking maybe there’s something there to find. All that exists is a lot of fetch quests, group or guild quests, and a handful of outliers like the time Jeralt wanted them to use a specific ability ten times in a raid. That had been a weird raid night. 

_ Wait… _ They sit up and brush their hair back, though it’s useless as it just falls forward again. They grab a pen and, when it doesn’t work, throw it aside to grab another. This one works and they start scribbling down how they finished each quest. It takes them a moment, since some of these quests they barely even remember doing, but soon enough they’re done.

With the exception of the first few quests from Sothis, all of them have been done with the guild or with at least one other guild member. 

It can’t be a coincidence, not by that much. 

They can’t be assed to go over to their computer in the other room, so they just grab their phone and text Dimitri. If anyone knows anything about the game, it’s probably the guy who’s played since beta and has more hours in it than most people sleep. 

For a while, Byleth doesn’t get a response. They assume that Dimitri is either asleep or too focused on the game and almost stand to check when their phone vibrates. Dimitri is calling. 

“Hey,” Byleth answers. 

“Is everything all right?” Dimitri sounds like he just woke up. Byleth feels a bit guilty before realizing that it’s only six pm where they are, and Dimitri is only an hour ahead. Then again, it’s not like anyone has ever accused Dimitri of having normal sleeping patterns. 

“Yes. I had a question.”

“You don’t usually text,” Dimitri says, suddenly a bit bashful. He clears his throat. “I thought something was wrong.”

“Oh. No, nothing is.” Byleth feels a bit out of their element. They almost want to ask Dimitri to hang up so they can just text. “I’m just away from my computer.”

“Okay.” A moment of silence before: “I can answer your question.”

Byleth swallows. Now they don’t even remember what they wanted to ask. “How did you get beta access to  _ Fire Emblem _ ?”

“Um. That was five years ago.”

“I know.”

“Okay.” Dimitri pauses. Byleth starts spinning their pen between their fingers, mind needing something to do. “I used to play a game called  _ Radiant Heroes: Ten Swords.  _ It was a lot like  _ Fire Emblem _ , but not as good. Older system, older mechanics, and a lot more limited. Um, anyways, a bunch of the players got a random invite to the beta for  _ Fire Emblem _ . It promised to be more accessible and, well, I was getting bored of  _ Swords _ so I made the switch. Why?”

Byleth knows the name  _ Ten Swords. _ They start shuffling through papers, not hearing Dimitri call their name several times. They see their print out of  _ Fire Emblem’s _ Quickpedia page and it clicks.

“What was bad about  _ Ten Swords _ ?” They ask, starting to take notes on the back of the paper. 

“It was just slower. They had fewer updates. And it was impossible to get anyone else to play. I — I tried inviting Felix and the others, but starting out was such a slog for anyone who didn’t have days and days of free time. You could buy your way up to higher levels, but Felix was morally opposed and Ingrid’s never liked spending money on games. Getting her to play  _ Fire Emblem  _ was a combined effort.”

One day, Byleth promises themself that they will ask about how everyone got started. For now, though, they have other things in mind. 

“You experienced the controversy between the developers firsthand, yes?” 

“I… I suppose you could say that. But I didn’t really pay much attention. It wasn’t something I cared about. I suppose there was a lot on my mind that felt more important at the time. Is more important.” Dimitri coughs. It’s short, but it sounds like he’s hacking up water. Byleth still waits until he’s done before asking,

“How much is similar between the games?”

“Well, they’re the same genre, so there’s a great deal in common on the surface. But anyone who has played more than ten minutes of both can easily tell you that  _ Fire Emblem _ is superior. There is a reason it is more popular, that it surpassed  _ Ten Swords _ in a few months.” Dimitri hums. “I would say that I also enjoy the community in  _ Fire Emblem  _ more, though I may be biased since my friends actually play it with me. I was not a guild leader before.”

“One of the mods used to be the guild leader for Blue Lions.”

  
“Yes! Catherine. She helped us with raids for a bit, far before you got here.” Dimitri sounds out of breath and he excuses himself. 

The line goes silent, so Byleth can only assume he’s busy coughing on the other end. Patiently, they sit and spin their pen over and over. The rest of their body hums with energy but doesn’t move. 

“My apologies,” Dimitri says when he returns.

“Are you okay?” Byleth asks.

“No, but I never am.” 

Byleth supposes they can’t really argue with that. The two of them sit in silence for a minute. 

“If I may — why do you ask these questions? Has something happened? I know that everyone is on edge due to the report from Lonato, but it really is nothing to fear. I have spent countless hours in this game to no ill effect on my personal life — Okay, perhaps I am not the one to judge.” Dimitri chuckles at his own joke. “But earnestly, has something caused you to fear and question all of this? It’s only a game. Even I know that.” 

“I—” Byleth stops. What are they supposed to say? How in the world could they explain what’s going on? They don’t even have any theories, maybe a handful of strings at best. The guild barely even knows that their father is dead. How can they possibly convince them that the NPC is named after their dead father without sounding insane? 

They can’t. There’s no way they can even try. 

“I can’t tell you, but I need you to trust me,” Byleth says. 

For a moment, there’s silence. Dimitri breaks it. 

“Okay. I do. But if there is anything you need, my friend, do not hesitate to ask.” 

“The same goes for you, Dimitri.” 

“There is nothing anyone can do for me,” he replies. Byleth can hear the smile on his face. 

#

_ [guild] lucky_strike: It's already in the calendar, but Mercie is making me say this to everyone.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: what you're gay I didn't know that!!!  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: please don't kill me  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Fuck off.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Don't discourage him from communicating, Sylvain.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: I don't know what Felix is saying shush >:(  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: My fencing tourney is in two months so I won't be playing as much. The boar already knows this. Try not to wipe too much without me.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Good luck! This is the invitational, right?  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Oh, that's cool! ~=^o^=~  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Have fun.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Yeah, let us know how it goes! We're cheering you on.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Thanks. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Thanks for letting us know.  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Is Rodrigue going?  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Oh yes, I meant to ask. Are guests allowed?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: they better because I'm going wether or not you want, Fe. _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Whether?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: whatever.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: My father will not be coming.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Sylvain, I already sent you the information about the meet.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Sorry about Rodrigue :/  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Yeah, that really stinks! Aren't you his only kid too? What was his excuse? >:////  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: It doesn't matter.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I can't believe that I have to show up at your meet now and be your parental unit. _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Hahahahaha!!!  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I'm going to assume you're making a joke.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: i'm not!!! you should totally come and visit that'd be fucking awesome!!!  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: you can stay on our couch it's a pullout :D  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Wait, Byleth gets to stay on your couch but not me?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: you usually DON'T want to stay with us lol  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: No one is staying anywhere!  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Well, if there's an offer to stay at the illustrious house of Gautier-Fraldarius, then who are we to decline?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: well, if everyone is coming we might need to get some air mattresses or something ahfitnroslwbcoqnxobfr gkgmdpa dj!=)iIyow8620 _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: ?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: SORRY FELIX STARTED THROWING SHIT AT ME _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: No one is staying over and no one is coming to my tournament. Got it? _

_ [guild] yumyum: But Felix what if we want to cheer you on? :'( I own pom poms!  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: We're just joking anyways. It would be really hard to fly out then.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I was being completely serious.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: he won't admit it but he's blushing so hard right anfoflgoa _

"Stop throwing things at me!" Sylvain shouts. Felix chucks another pen at him. It bounces off of Sylvain's shoulder. "I'm going to tell them that you slept with a security blanket until you were ten." 

"You told me that it would protect me from monsters," Felix replies with narrow eyes. 

"Yeah, well, you didn't get eaten by monsters so check and mate." Sylvain ducks as a pen flies through the air. It lands somewhere behind his desk. "I'm not grabbing that." 

Felix snorts. "Whatever." He turns back around but not a moment later says, "I don't care if you go or not, but don't make it seem like everyone else is invited. They're not." 

_ Because you don't want them there or because you're scared it'll just be more people who don't show up?  _ Sylvain isn't stupid enough to ask. Instead he just shrugs, a natural reaction though Felix can't see him. 

"Which weekend is it again? I deleted your text." Actually, Sylvain never got it in the first place, but if Felix thinks he sent it then it might as well have happened. Sylvain waits a moment, lost in the casual repetition of practicing flight, before saying, "Felix? You awake over there?" 

"It's the same weekend as the anniversary." 

_ Ah, well, that would explain it. _ Sylvain could kick himself. 

"Thanks." Sylvain hesitates.  _ What the hell, _ he thinks, _ you're already mad at me _ . "Are you going to be okay?" 

"Yeah. I'm fine." Felix didn’t sound fine but again, Sylvain isn’t that stupid. “My old man’s probably doing some charity work that day or something.”

“I guess. But still, fuck him.” Sylvain surprises himself with how venomous his own words are. He doesn’t turn around, certain that Felix will glare at him. He doesn’t get a reply, but he doesn’t expect one. 

In game, his avatar dutifully practices with the same repetitive animation as all the times before. 

#

Dimitri stares at the piece of paper in front of him. It’s blank. It’s been blank for quite some time. He’s moved into the dining room, thinking that it’ll be easier to focus without a computer screen in front of his face. It’s not helping nearly as much as he thought it would. 

_ Ten things that you are happy about in your life. _ It’s simple. A child could do it. It’s not like he has to get specific or anything. Hell, he could probably just write down ten random things and call it a day. 

But that would feel like cheating and, for as much as he sometimes hates going to therapy and especially hates having to do work outside of it, it’s also for the best. 

He picks up his pencil and writes  _ Dedue _ on the paper. He stares at it. 

“Fuck.” He stands up and, without thinking, crumples the paper up and throws it into the other room. He’ll have to pick it up later. He stares at the table. He doesn’t have any other paper with him. “Shit.” He goes to get more paper and this time he grabs a few sheets. 

Sitting back down, he starts the list with  _ Fire Emblem _ because, well, it’s his list and his therapist has definitely heard him talk about it before. She’s probably expecting it to be there, so he might as well. After that, he writes  _ the Blue Lions _ , because it seems a bit more specific than putting down something like  _ my friends _ . He doesn’t really have family, which he guesses would be on most peoples’ lists, so instead he writes down  _ warm sweaters _ , because they’re close enough. 

He has a lot of really nice sweaters. Mostly due to necessity, because it gets cold in Faerghus even with the heat turned on, but also because there was a solid three year period where Mercedes and Dedue were really into knitting. Everyone got a lot of sweaters. Dimitri got about six, mostly from Dedue, but also a nice cream colored one made out of real sheep wool from Mercedes. 

Dimitri doesn’t know if he ever thanked her properly for it. 

_ Good food _ seems a bit like a cop out since he can’t actually taste half of what he eats, but it’s easy and he knows that this is going to be a challenge. He eats to sustain himself and sometimes actually enjoys it, with an emphasis on  _ sometimes _ . The sixth on the list is  _ sleep _ which he’ll probably get interrogated about. 

He’s not suicidal or anything, he just likes to sleep. He also gets horrible nightmares where his father and friend get blown up in front of him, or he dies over and over again, or some other terrible and painful thing happens. With that in mind, he corrects his list to  _ peaceful sleep. _

His phone lights up next to him. Dimitri almost ignores it, but it doesn’t go off like an Eris notification or text would. When he checks the caller ID, he sighs.

“What do you want?” Dimitri asks. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yes. Is it that odd that I want to speak with you?” Rodrigue asked back. 

“I’m doing something,” Dimitri lies. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Homework.” 

A moment passes as Rodrigue no doubt debates the merits of questioning Dimitri’s choice of words. He ends up dropping it, instead saying, “I hope you are doing well. Is Dedue there?” 

It’s a valid question, but still. Dimitri would like to pretend that he isn’t entirely dependent on Dedue. “No. What do you need?”

“I wanted to ask if you had plans for the anniversary.” Rodrigue sighs. “Of course, I presumed that you don’t have any, but…” 

“No, I don’t.” Dimitri doesn’t really like thinking about it. Tries not to as much as possible. Instinctively, he glances around the room. There’s just him. He can’t even hear anyone else, which is rare. “Why? I am not going to any event.”

For the five year anniversary, Rodrigue flew Dimitri out to some kind of charity dinner. It was raising money for peacekeeping or something in the area the embassy had been blown up in. Dimitri had spent the whole time miserable. More than usual, that is.

“No, I was going to visit you.” Rodrigue swallows. “Just for a few days. We could drive to the graves…” 

Dimitri sighs. He looks out the window. Dedue had pulled the curtains back the last time he visited and Dimitri just never put them back. 

“Is Felix invited?” The silence is all that Dimitri needs to know. “Whatever. I don’t have plans. But you do not need to baby me. Dedue will be spending the whole time with me anyways.” 

“Is it so odd that I want to visit you?”

“No, I just…” Dimitri huffs. He doesn’t know if Felix was already asked and declined and it isn’t fair of him to presume that there’s something to be concerned about. At least, nothing more than Felix and Rodrigue’s usual tension. 

Rodrigue clears his throat. Funny, that’s usually Dimitri’s job. “I will send you the details as they come. But otherwise, I will see you in two months.” 

The call ends. Dimitri stares at his phone. He doesn’t quite believe that just happened, but while he’s been able to hallucinate a lot, he’s not quite been able to do a full conversation with someone who’s alive. 

He looks at his paper. He picks up his pencil and writes  _ Dedue _ . He stares at the paper. 

“Fuck.” 

#

Byleth remembers once, when they were a child, they had a puzzle that was supposed to be clouds or the sky or something like that — they can’t quite remember. At some point, between the many hectic moves or whatnot, a piece or two got lost. But they insisted on keeping it and would constantly put it together, then get upset when they didn’t have all the pieces. Their father had to explain that sometimes, things got lost and sometimes there was no way of getting them back.

The point had been a little lost since that year, Jeralt had gifted another copy of the puzzle to them for their birthday. But Byleth genuinely can’t remember another time that they felt this  _ upset _ about something that should be simple. Only, this time Jeralt isn’t able to help. 

They’ve started Googoling  _ Ten Swords _ because maybe there will be some connection there, some missing piece that might not be a perfect fit but at least is close enough. Out of sheer desperation, they’re looking at images. They don’t have the energy to read things. So far, though, it’s just been bad character models and slightly smutty fanart.

Ah, the wonders of the Internet. 

They give up and refine their search to  _ The Nabatean Company. _ Now the pictures are mostly logos, cosplay, and some old building that probably was the office. They start scrolling, not really expecting to see anything useful. 

_ Art… Logo… Building… Character art… Game model… Logo… Staff photo… Logo… Staff photo? _

Byleth scrolls back up. It’s a picture of some staff members of  _ The Nabatean Company _ . They don’t recognize anyone, but it gives them an idea. Back at the search bar, they type in  _ Genesis Systems staff _ . 

It takes a moment — there’s a lot of pictures of the game  _ Fire Emblem _ and artwork and such, but after about five minutes there’s a picture of a group of people outside a building. 

It’s a sunny day. There’s seven people in the photo. Byleth doesn’t recognize most of them, but two of the people have green hair. Maybe it's a coincidence, but… 

They take out their phone and start scrolling through the photos. It takes a moment, because they actually overshoot, but they know they didn’t delete the picture they took of the Polaroid. It’s not perfect — it’s a bit blurry and the top of everyone’s head is cut off, but it got the important bits. 

Jeralt, younger and without his beard, stands between two women, One has mint green hair and the other has hair like forest moss, not actually that far from the color Byleth prefers. They’ve stared at it for hours, trying to force themself to remember something, anything. But nothing has ever come to them. 

Now, Byleth’s faceblind — a symptom of being autistic, one they usually get around by just not referring to people with names ever. But even they can see, without a doubt, that the woman in the two images is the same. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's like. A bit of a plot. It's mostly ship stuff. Whoops?
> 
> Also just a heads up, but my life is about to get very busy. I'll do my best to update on time, but if I stop that's why. I'll probably be back to normal in about mid-December, just for context.
> 
> Cheers!

"I think this is a very good list," Lynn says, setting the paper aside. "How long did it take you to write it?" 

Dimitri shrugs. He doesn't want to admit that he wrote it three or four times, constantly trying to list ten things without putting Dedue's name down and only giving up after he decided  _ being alone  _ was a bit too dark even for him and  _ cute animals _ was a cop out to the highest degree. It is true that Dimitri can appreciate a cute puppy just as much as the rest of the world, but it's not really top ten material. 

Lynn nods. "I have a few questions about it." 

"Sure." Dimitri clears his throat. "I don't have a collection of weapons anymore," he adds, remembering that he put  _ weapons _ on the list right between  _ raid night  _ and  _ patch day _ . He had to split  _ Fine Emblem _ into multiple parts in order to expand his list. It meant he could add  _ out damaging Felix _ though, so it was worth it. 

Lynn smiles gently. "I actually had a question about commonalities between all your answers. I know we've spoken about your friends a lot — do they know about your health, yet?" 

Dimitri shakes his head. He closes his remaining eye out of shame. "I… I cannot. Even when I want to, something — something stops me." He thinks of Byleth. Cool, calm, gentle — but also fierce and passionate, though they do not seem like it at first. "I told one friend. Their name is Byleth." 

"Byleth? Are they also a member of your guild?" 

"Yes. They joined… some time ago." Dimitri has such a loose grasp of time that he honestly doesn't know. It feels like he's known them forever, even though logically to knows that isn't true. "They know about me." 

"But no one else?"

"Well, Dedue, of course. And I think Felix suspects something, but he hasn't asked." Then again, it's hard to tell anything when it comes to Felix nowadays. Unbidden, Dimitri recalls his conversation with Rodrigue. He shoves those thoughts back down. 

"Have you thought further about telling them?" 

"No." 

"And why is that?" 

Dimitri opens his mouth, then closes it again. The silence stretches. When he first started therapy, he thought he could wait out any questions he didn't want to answer. He has since learnt that Lynn will wait, write down the questions, and make him answer them next session. The downside of having a frighteningly competent therapist, he supposes. 

"It would concern them." It's a bad answer and they both know it. 

"So you think you are what? Sparring them from pain?" 

"Yes." 

"Will not telling them stop you from dying?" Lynn is direct when she needs to be, which is good because Dimitri has never reacted well to tip-toeing around a situation. 

"Well—"

"Do you think they will mourn you less if they are surprised? Do you think they will not care?" 

"They—"

"What is actually stopping you from telling them? Because we both know that your friends are already worried about you. Keeping them in the dark does not assuage their fears." 

"Because what's the point in being friends with a dead man?" Dimitri snaps. 

The room falls into near silence. There's a CD playing waterfall noise. It's supposed to be calming and help muffle any sounds from around them. Really, it just makes Dimitri really hate waterfalls. 

"I'm going to die in a few years. They can hate me when I'm gone, but I… I'm cruel enough to not push them away." 

"Didn't you start playing your game to connect more with your friends?" 

Dimitri sighs. He knows where this is going. "Yes, because my therapist at that time was concerned about my self-isolation. Then he started to worry about how I was spending all my time inside. Not like I could have left the house even if I wanted to." He hangs his head. "My friends… they deserve better. It  _ is _ better to let them believe that I am fine. I would only cause them more stress and to feel the need to change their actions, if they were to know the truth." 

Lynn thinks on this. Dimitri isn't fool enough to think that he's won. 

"Do you feel that Dedue has treated you differently since your diagnosis?" 

The first answer is  _ yes _ , because Dedue gave up so much just to take care of him. The real answer is  _ no _ , because Dedue has always been like that. 

Dimitri shakes his head. 

"Do you think he would rather be ignorant about your situation?" 

Dimitri shakes his head. 

"Do you regret telling him?" 

"Dedue is different," Dimitri argues. "He… He's different." 

"What makes him different?" Lynn asks. Dimitri doesn't answer. "Dedue is special to you. What makes him special?" 

There's no answer, not because Dimitri can't think of anything, but he doesn't know how to put abstract thoughts of  _ safe _ and  _ love _ and  _ home _ and  _ hope _ into phrases that will make sense. Phrases that will not reveal the small, half-dead but still flickering ember that sits in Dimitri's chest and reminds him that he is loved and cared for even though he's sometimes little more than a beast in man's clothes. Even when Dimitri has but the barest grasp on reality, Dedue is there. A rock. A harbor. 

A friend. 

"He is… my friend." Dimitri knows that all his emotions cannot be contained in a single word, but nothing else comes to mind. 

Lynn seems to accept his answer for now, though, scribbling something down before asking, "Dimitri, when did you fall in love with Dedue?" 

_ Oh. _ Dimitri realizes that maybe Lynn did not accept his answer. 

It is not a surprise that someone, particularly his therapist, is well aware of his feelings. Dimitri knows that Dedue knows that Dimitri has been in love with him for years. It's just… 

"A while ago." 

"And does he know?" 

"Yes." 

"But you two are not together?" 

"No."

Lynn raises an eyebrow. "You are together?" 

"No, um, we are not. Sorry." Dimitri isn't sure why he's apologizing. 

"Why not?" She asks so innocently, as if the answer is not obvious. 

Dimitri laughs. "What's the point of a relationship or planning for the future when I'm going to die in a few years?" 

Lynn frowns. "Dimitri, do you regret bonding with your father?" 

Not for the first time, Dimitri feels like a ship blown off course. He isn't quite sure where this is going, so he swallows down the initial anger he feels at his father's presence being invoked.

"Of course not." 

"And what about Glenn? You two were close friends since childhood. Do you regret the time spent with him? Does it make you angry to know that you developed a close bond with someone who would die?" 

"It's different," Dimitri argues. "They didn't know. They weren't supposed to die. It was a tragedy." 

"And it is still a tragedy even when we know what will happen." Lynn takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Do you think that your friends will be angry that they spent time with you? Knowing you? Laughing with you, playing games together — loving you?"

"I — I don't know." Dimitri coughs. He reaches for his inhaler, but he can't find it in his pocket. Lynn withdraw a spare from her desk and then passes it to him. He takes several mouthfuls of fresh air, gulping it down. His throat opens back up, his lungs stop aching quite as much. "I don't know," he echoes. His voice is hoarse. 

"How do you feel, looking back at the time with your father?" 

Dimitri thinks about learning to read, about attempts at baking surprises for stepmother. He thinks about the first time he rode a bike, how he'd constantly challenge Glenn to races and lose. He thinks about his first fencing tournament and how he got third and his dad let him get pizza with extra cheese and the weird garlic knot crust, then held him when he complained that his stomach hurt. 

They're sad memories, yes. And there's anger, too. But more than that—

"I… miss him. I wish… that we had gotten more time. That I could have cherished him more." 

"Then why would your friends be any different?" 

Dimitri doesn't answer her. 

#

There is soft light filtering through the blinds as Felix opens his eyes. He’s sore. His neck hurts as he tries to sit up and his back screams in protest. He groans. It has been a while since he fell asleep at his desk, but it inevitably happens a few times a year. What usually happens is that he would wake up and suffer. But something is off.

He has a blanket around his shoulders and a pillow under his head. 

“The fuck?” Felix scowls, groaning as he sits up. He rubs at his eyes while also trying to find his phone. The battery flashes at him, he has over a dozen notifications from Eris alone, but what he sees that makes his heart stop is the time. “Shit!”

He slides his chair back, throwing his charger in his bag — which is by his desk, thank the goddess — and then goes to get changed. But, no, he is already close to being late for training and he’ll just change when he gets there anyways. He decides that he’ll just wear the same clothes as the day before. No one will care anyways. 

The rest of his stuff gets thrown into his bag. He throws open the door right as Sylvain raises his hand to knock. The two stare at one another. Felix realizes two things. First, there is only one person who could have set him up with a pillow and blanket.

Second, it is Saturday. He doesn’t have training until later. Like, six hours later. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted coffee,” Sylvain says. “Are you going somewhere?” 

Felix doesn’t really want to admit that he is so panicked that he thought it is Friday. “Um, I was going to study at the library.” 

“Uh huh.” Sylvain crosses his arms as he leans against the wall. There is a narrow hallway between the bedroom and the rest of the apartment. Felix can’t get past him without pushing him out of the way. “So, coffee?” 

“Fine.” Felix follows Sylvain into the kitchen. His bag goes next to the dining room table, though he stands in the kitchen and watches Sylvain shuffle around.

Sylvain must have been up for a while. Despite his reputation as a lazy asshole, he has his moments. It is a bit embarrassing that Sylvain must have changed and been walking around the apartment for hours without Felix even noticing. 

Neither of them say anything. There is a faint noise from a nextdoor neighbor, the noise of the street, and the coffee machine. That’s it. Felix doesn’t dare speak. He just nods when Sylvain hands him his cup. No milk, no sugar. Sylvain puts some milk into his and a hint of sugar, but he’s always had more of a sweet tooth. 

They stared at each other. 

“Do you have plans today?” Sylvain asks.

“Studying,” Felix reminds him. It doesn’t look like Sylvain believes him. Which, well, fair enough. “You?” 

Sylvain shrugs. “Do you want to hang out? We can see a movie or something.” 

“Why would I go see a movie?” 

“Well, you aren’t going to study the whole day before training — right?” Sylvain actually has a shadow of a doubt on his face. It gets chased away with his next sip of coffee.

“I guess not. I’ll probably play some  _ FE _ before I leave.” 

“Oh, cool. We can grind together.” 

Felix snorts. “Only if you don’t flirt the whole time, ass.” 

“Hey, when have I ever done that?” Sylvain asks, raising a hand in an indignant half-shrug. Felix just glares at him. 

He’s awake enough now that he feels gross, remembering that he didn’t brush his teeth last night. His hair sticks up in weird places, even after his attempt to pull it into a real ponytail. Sylvain’s hair is also a mess, but he can get away with it in ways that Felix can’t. Or, perhaps more accurate, Sylvain just always has been a little more loose with his appearance. Oh, he’s a neat freak and that extends to his personal hygiene, but he’s not  _ classy _ .

No one who knows Sylvain Jose Gautier would ever accuse him of being classy. 

“How do you feel about the tourney?” Sylvain asks. 

“It’ll be fine.” Felix thinks he’s in a good place. He doesn’t think he’s an easy winner since he doesn’t quite know who’s going to be travelling from other areas, but he regularly thrashes everyone else who trains at the university. So that’s good. “It’s only the first of the year.”

“Yeah. But I know you don’t like to lose.”

“I don’t lose,” Felix inists. Sylvain grins. Felix doesn’t know what Sylvain wants and doesn’t think he wants to know. “Are you done? I’m going to grind while I have free time.” 

“The tourney is all day or what?” Sylvain holds both hands up, coffee cup precarious between a few fingers, in the universal sign of surrender. Probably because Felix’s glare is enough to melt steel. “Just trying to plan. If you wanna go anywhere after…”

Felix feels the rush of emotions run out of him. He feels himself deflate like a pierced balloon. He wants to get angry, he doesn’t want to talk about the tournament or the fact that it’s the same day as the anniversary of his brother’s death and his own father isn’t even coming. It’s not like he and Rodrigue have spent every anniversary together, but… 

Whatever. Felix shouldn’t be so surprised by his own disappointment. He’s never been the favorite son, if Rodrigue has even seen him as a son. 

“I don’t.” Felix drains his cup. It’s a nice enough mug that he doesn’t just throw it at the sink. Instead he sets it on the counter and leaves. He gets back to his room before realizing his bag is in the other room. His bag, with his laptop. 

_ Fuck. _

#

“Patch 4.7,” Dimitri reads. “Balance changes and lore update. Hello, heroes. As part of our ongoing level cap update, starting today, all players will be able to reach level 80 in their selected class. This brings new abilities, skills, and items. Individual updates will be released tomorrow outlining each level for each of our classes. Overall, no major changes have been made. However, players will have more to keep in mind than abilities. Once hitting level 80, all players will have to make the decision between three new specialities. Each class has at least one unique speciality and shares two with another class. This is to help players feel like they are not stuck in the same niche as they level as well as add more depth and customization to the game.” 

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Annette says. Ingrid can hear her slurping on something. It makes Ingrid wonder if she still has any snacks in her room… “Mercie, I wonder if you can learn more reason spells and I can learn more faith.”

“That would be really fun,” Mercedes agrees.

“If any of you pick the same subclass as me—” Felix speaks up. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll pick the most boring subclass for you,” Sylvain interrupts. Felix snorts. Ingrid can hear him set his pen down — he’s doing work in the middle of patch night because he’s falling behind with how much training he’s doing for fencing. Considering he doesn’t even want to professionally fence, it’s hard to understand why he cares so much. 

None of them fence anymore except Felix. Well, Ingrid barely fenced in the first place and Dimitri has an excuse and well— 

Glenn’s dead. 

“Dimitri, keep going,” Ingrid cuts in, because if she doesn’t do it then no one will. 

“Thank you.” Dimitri clears his throat. Ingrid makes a mental note to ask him about it later, because it’s gotten worse. “Additionally, the following weapon changes are effective immediately. Silver weapons now cost 100 more gold but have three additional durability. Killer weapons have an extra 2% chance to crit.” Dimitri pauses. Felix doesn’t say anything.

“Sylvain, is Felix okay?” Mercedes asks.

“I can hear you,” Felix gripes.

“I would have thought you’d be happy about that change,” Ingrid states.

“Killer weapons are worse than my blade. Doesn’t matter.”

Ingrid sighs. She doesn't know why she even tries.

“All lances have an additional 2 - 8 Might, varying on the lance. Oh, nice.” Dimitri sounds pleasantly surprised. Ingrid is too. “Physic now scales a bit better off the user’s faith, healing an additional 1% - 20% health, varying. However, Nosferatu heals the user for 1% - 18% less, also varying.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that I’ve been working on my offensive magic,” Mercedes says. She doesn’t seem too put out. 

Dimitri gets through the rest of the balance changes — mostly weapon and skill modifications, though Ingrid is a bit miffed that they keep nerfing pegasus speed. He pauses when they get to the second half of the update.

“Lore Update: Fight of the Progenitor God. Heroes! The time has come for you to start the fight against Those Who Slither In The Dark. This evil cult is from a time before time, but their exact goals for the world are a mystery. As you uncover more about their story, you’ll learn where the Demonic Beasts come from, what lies beneath Garreg Mach Monastery, and travel to never-before seen parts of the world in your quest to stop the spread of evil. Challenges are available for individuals, duos, and full groups to dig deeper.

“Who are Those Who Slither In The Dark? What are they collecting crest stones for? And who is the Progenitor God? Start Fight of the Progenitor God now by speaking with the priest in Garreg Mach, and good luck.” 

Ashe whistles. “That’s so cool.” 

“That must be part of what we were helping test,” Ingrid points out. “Remember the opening — it mentioned Those Who Slither and something about crests.”

“What even are crest stones?” Sylvain asks.

“They’re only mentioned a bit, but they’re basically innate abilities that some people have,” Ashe explains. Ingrid doesn’t actually know more than that, but Ashe adds, “I don’t think any player actually has them, it’s just a lore thing. Like, some people have crest stones when they’re born.”

“Is it like… a tumor?” 

“No, Sylvain, it’s not like that.” Ingrid gestures with one hand, even though no one can see her. “Maybe we’ll have to start collecting them. I knew I shouldn’t have done a wipe of my storage…”

“Do people wish for me to continue, or is this social hour now?” Dimitri drawls.

“Sorry, man.”

“Keep going,” Annette encourages him.

“I don’t care,” Felix says. 

“Shut up,” Ingrid tells him. Sylvain laughs. 

“Byleth, did you know about this?” Dedue asks. Byleth admits that they did not. “Oh. I suppose that makes sense. You are a mod, but you are not paid by the developers.” 

“In addition to new quests and new rewards, players also will be competing for the first to uncover the mystery. The first hundred players who complete the first arc of Fight of the Progenitor God will get something special and unique to commemorate their success.” Dimitri chuckled. “So, who will be the other ninety-nine with me?” 

“Fuck off. I’ll get it as soon as I’m done with this tournament,” Felix challenged. “What about you, Byleth? You play more than the rest of us.”

A moment passes. Ingrid actually checks the chat to make sure Byleth is still there.

“We will see, I suppose. What is the rest of the update?” Byleth sounds off, but it’s not Ingrid’s place to ask. The two of them have different schedules, so except for guild events it’s rare that they’ll be in chat together. 

A shame, really, because they seem really interesting and they’re close to Dimitri. Honestly, anyone who can get so friendly with Dimitri in such a short window really should be praised. It took Ashe a few months to even learn that Dimitri knew the others when they were kids. It took Annette longer, but that was mostly because she’s never going to win any awards for her perceptive nature. 

The rest of the update really just goes into detail on exactly what is being released. There are three paths for quests: one designed for solo adventures, one for duos, and then a last path for guilds. The quests are all similar but still different. Someone will need to complete all three paths in order to complete the first arc. The patch notes are vague as to what exactly the reward will be, but honestly Ingrid doesn’t expect that she’s even in the running. Not when there’s people like Dimitri and Felix who throw themselves into things so whole-heartedly. 

“Well, this was fun,” Felix says as soon as Dimitri finishes the last line. “I’m done here. Have a good—”

“Wait,” Dimitri says. Ingrid can practically hear the cogs turning in Felix’s head.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“I have something that I wish to tell the group. Yourself included,” Dimitri explains. Ingrid prepares to fight Felix in order to get him to stay, but he just huffs. There’s no argument for once in his life. "I want to say, first, that you are all… very dear to me. I am very lucky to have friends who are loyal and kind and who care so much for someone like me." 

"Aw, of course we care! You're our friend. You're the reason we all know one another," Mercedes reassures him. 

"T—thank you. That means a great deal to me. You all do. And I — I need to tell you something very important. Something that you deserve to have known long ago, but I've been a coward. It was never my intention to deceive you, but—" 

"Dimitri, we know," Felix interrupts. Ingrid wants to smack him over the head, because while she suspects that Dimitri has finally come to terms with being head over heels in love with Dedue and being gay, it's still good for Dimitri to come out on his own terms.

"You — you do?" That's not relief in Dimitri's voice. It's fear. 

"Yes, and we love and care for you. I mean, it would be pretty hypocritical if we didn't support you, considering so many of our other friends are gay." Ingrid smiles. She read once that smiling made your voice sound happier. "And Felix is trans and Byleth is nonbinary — do you really think it would be that big of a deal?" 

"Yeah, we support you. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough telling us," Ashe says.

Dimitri clears his throat, but Annette starts talking before he can. "Yeah! And I'm like, a huge lesbian and so is Mercedes — actually, are any of us straight? Well, besides Sylvain." 

The group laughs. If Sylvain's laugh is a bit forced, well, Ingrid's not going to call him out for once. 

"I think that Dimitri—" Dedue gets cut off by Felix.

"Cool, we can all hold hands and sing kumbaya, but I'm tired and I have training in the morning. Can I please go to sleep?" 

"I'm dying of a terminal disease," Dimitri growls into his mic. The chat goes silent. Ingrid can't feel her fingers. "I — I appreciate your support of my, um, preferences. But what I wanted to say is that I'm dying." 

Someone could burst into Ingrid's room waving a gun around and she still wouldn't look away from her laptop. She feels — she feels faint. But also disturbingly heavy. Everything is too heavy around her, like there's an elephant on her chest, and her head is spinning. 

Ingrid realizes that it's the same way she felt when she heard that Glenn and the others were dead. 

"Thank you for telling us," Byleth murmurs. 

"What do you mean, you're dying?" Ashe asks. 

"A few years ago, I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. It's fatal. I… have about two or three more years left to live." Dimitri coughs. 

Things start to click in Ingrid's brain, puzzle pieces connecting. She might not know a single thing about this disease, but she feels like she knows it well just by looking at her friend. She wants to say something, to scream, because it's not  _ fair _ . Dimitri's come so far and he's finally got friends and goals and things he enjoys and — and it's not  _ fair _ . 

"There's… there's no cure at all?" Annette murmurs. 

"No." 

Mercedes bursts into tears. Ingrid doesn't think she has any tears left. Someone else is crying. It sounds like it's Annette or maybe Ashe. Dedue, Ingrid realizes, is suspiciously quiet. 

A stab of red hot rage plunges through her chest.  _ Dedue knows _ . Not only that, but he's known for how long? Longer than Ingrid. Longer, it sounds like, than any of them. She wants to scream at the injustice of it all, wants to tell Dedue that he can fuck off because Dimitri was her friend first, but as soon as the thought comes to mind it disappates. 

This isn't Dedue's fault. It's not Dimitri's fault. It's hers. 

How much has she really tried talking to Dimitri? To actually connect with him outside of some stupid video game? They might talk almost every day, but when was the last time she actually sat down and tried to have a conversation with her own friend? 

Bile builds in her throat. She still wants to yell at Dimitri, because it's not fair of him to keep this secret and let them waste so much time on niceties when really they should be counting every day, but… 

"I'm sorry," Sylvain mumbles. "That… that's really shitty. We're here for you, man." 

"Yeah," Ingrid says. "We're here for you." 

#

Byleth stares at their computer screen. They do a lot of that nowadays. This time, though, they have a goal. They’re just not sure on whether this is a good idea. Or a morally clean one. Or legal. 

Well, it’s probably legal. They don’t think that there’s anything that says that they can’t reach out to a company and ask if they can set up an internship program. It just so happens that this company is Genesis Systems, they teach medieval history, and the two have pretty much nothing in common.

They just… leave those facts out in their email to Cichol Gricenchos, who is apparently the head of HR. At least, that’s the email on the website — and by all that is holy, was it hard to find that email. Byleth doesn’t have anywhere else to turn to at this point, is the real problem. Their research is hitting dead ends. The game is running them around doing fetch quests. If they can just speak with someone…

But it’s direct. It’s really direct. Which, yeah, is the point. But all they can think about is how this could just be a massive waste of time and an embarrassment. They’re going to have to speak with someone in a professional context. They hate doing that. And, if this gets anywhere, they’ll have to dress up in nice clothes… 

Jeralt’s journal sits next to their computer, innocent with its plain cover and neat pages. 

Byleth rubs their eyes and looks over the email one last time. 

_ Dear Mr. Gricenchos, _

_ My name is Byleth Eisner. I am a professor at the University of Fhirdiad , which is located about an hour from your head office. I have recently been approached by several students who are interested in working at a development company such as Genesis Systems over the summer, either as an internship or work study program.  _

_ These students are all top of their class and come with my personal recommendation. I would enjoy being able to discuss a possible partnership between your organization and the university in more detail.  _

_ I would be able to travel to your office or, if you prefer, we can discuss more details digitally before meeting in person. If there are any other questions you have for me, please do not hesitate to ask. _

_ Thank you for your time, _

_ Byleth Eisner  _

_ Professor at University of Fhirdiad _

There’s nothing else to it. Byleth makes themself hit the send button.

#

In an office somewhere in Fhirdiad, a phone rings. A perfectly manicured hand reaches out, though the person is focused largely on reading her computer screen. It’s nice out. Sunny. The blinds are drawn so she can see out into the parking lot, though the beauty of tinted glass means no one can look in. 

“Hello?” She asks in a soft but controlled voice, the kind of tone that comes from someone who is in charge and doesn’t care to show off. 

“I’m sending you an email. You’ll want to read it. I — I want your opinion.” It’s a man’s voice. He sounds frantic. He usually doesn’t. 

“Who is it from?” The woman asks, clicking away from the report and over to her email. 

“Byleth.” 

  
“What?” The woman clutches her phone. Her eyes are wide. Surely she misheard or misunderstands. “Are you — send it to me. Now.” 

A moment passes and an email comes from  _ cgricenchos _ to  _ sillia _ . She reads it quickly. Her exhale can be heard down the hall. 

“What do you want me to do?” The man asks. “I… I can ignore it.” 

“No,” the woman orders. “I think it’s time for us to see Byleth again. It’s been too long. Let me see what times we have available.”

“We?”

“Yes, we. I want to see them just as much as you do, Cichol. Do not reply quite yet — I will let you know when is best.”

Cichol swallows. “Of course, Seiros.”

#

“Thank you for coming over,” Dimitri says. He adjusts his shirt. It’s a bit tight. Dedue blinks at him and nods. He’s holding a plain tupperware with dessert. Just because Dimitri can’t taste anything doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like Dedue’s cooking. “Um, come this way. There’s room in the kitchen — or does it need to be refrigerated?” 

“No, it can remain out.” Dedue hesitates. “My apologies, I… did not realize I should have dressed nicer.” 

Dimitri finds himself laughing. He had forced himself to clean up ahead of schedule, actually going as far as to go grocery shopping and opening the windows so it smells a little less like death inside the apartment. He took a hot shower and actually did his hair so, rather than falling all over his face in a mess, it’s pulled back into a ponytail. A few wisps are still loose, but it’s much cleaner. 

He’s also wearing nice clothes. His slacks are a bit frayed at the bottom, which he hopes Dedue will be forgiving of, but his button-up is a handsome dark blue pattern that he remembers Ingrid once said brought the color of his eyes out. Dedue, however, looks just as charming and handsome as always, even though his sweater is a bit old and his jeans barely fit. Actually, Dimitri would be the first to admit that he likes when Dedue’s clothes, ah, leave little to the imagination. 

“I simply was tired of wearing the same thing.” Dimitri takes the tupperware without argument as Dedue sits in the dining room. There’s already food out — Dimitri had ordered half the menu from the Duscur place down the street. It’s his and Dedue’s favorite place to get food when Dedue doesn’t feel like cooking and Dimitri is actually hungry.

Okay, it’s Dedue’s favorite place and Dimitri likes anything Dedue likes. Goddess, he really is predictable. 

“I was not sure how hungry you would be, and I assumed that anything we don’t eat can just be for tomorrow.” Dimitri blushes. “Um, only if you wish — I do not want to presume anything, only that my room is—”

“Your room is more than enough,” Dedue says. It’s normal for Dedue to spend the night, usually pulling the couch out. Sometimes, though, Dedue will take the bed. 

They don’t share. 

Dedue smiles at Dimitri, but there’s concern in those warm eyes. “Are you sure that you are okay, my friend? Has anyone given you grief over what you shared the other day?”

“No, not at all. Ingrid did send me a long message that was both her crying and yelling at me for keeping it to myself, but I think she’s just… sad.” Dimitri doesn’t really want to think about it, so he quickly sits. The chair groans. He’s pretty sure he splintered it, but he doesn’t really want to look. “Eat, please.” 

“Thank you, but I must insist you serve yourself first. I can do it for you, if you are uncertain of what you want.”

Dimitri’s stomach is churning too hard for him to eat, but he lets Dedue pile his plate with a well-balanced and probably delicious meal. The rice, at least, has a nice texture and there’s something that fried eggplant does that still fills him with warmth. It isn’t until he’s gotten a few bites down that Dedue begins to fill his own dish, and soon the two are sitting in a comfortable familiarity. 

Of course, Dimitri’s nerves won’t let that last too long. 

“May I — May I say something?” He asks. Dedue nods, keeping his face neutral, no doubt until he can ascertain the correct emotional response. “I — I have a confession to make, Dedue.”

“There is nothing that you keep secret that I need to know,” Dedue replies instantly. 

Dimitri bites his lip. “I… I suppose it is no secret, then. Perhaps I should call it a realization, but that lacks what I intend… A revelation, then.” 

“And what is your revelation?” Dedue asks, not unkindly. 

A deep breath, a prayer that his lungs and nerves will not fail him now — “I have been so unfair to you, Dedue. I do not have enough time to apologize, for it would take a hundred lifetimes to make it clear how much my — my affection and adoration spans for you. I know that you have been holding yourself back, stopping your own life to help mine, and it — it is most selfish of me to let this continue.”

“I don’t understand.” Dedue is frowning. This is not how this was supposed to go. Dimitri swallows. 

“I depend on you the way that a child depends on his parent, but you are my friend. And I should never have let it get this far. Say the word, Dedue, and I shall grant you whatever you wish so you may do whatever you desire. I am sick of knowing that I am the reason you are here.” 

Dedue is quiet for a moment. He sets his fork down. “Do you want me to leave?” 

Dimitri could cry. “No, never.”

“Then I will stay here. This is where I want to be, Dimitri. This is my choice. I choose to remain by your side.” 

Dimitri stands, knocking the table back. The chair goes tumbling back and slams into the ground with a resounding clatter. Neither of them so much as wince. “But why? You could do anything, Dedue! You could go anywhere! You can go back to Duscur!” 

“There is no one in Duscur for me, not anymore.” Dedue slowly stands, but not to be intimidating. Dimitri could never be frightened of Dedue. Especially not with the sad look in those eyes. “I stay here because I love you, Dimitri. You know this.”

“But  _ why _ ?” Dimitri’s voice breaks. “Why do you love someone who can never give you what you deserve?” 

Dedue steps forward and wraps him in his arms. Dimitri struggles at first, but even with his freakish strength cannot make Dedue budge. Then again, Dimitri doesn’t really want Dedue to let go. He enjoys this more than he should. 

“You are all I wish for in life, Dimitri. It is you. It has always been you.” 

“And you are—” Dimitri stops himself. He’s a young boy again, crushed under rubble. He can’t breathe. Glenn is dead. Father is dead. Stepmother is dead. Everyone — dead. He is too, his mind just doesn’t realize it yet. 

Then, without warning, a weight is lifted. A beam of light enters his vision. Fresh air rushes into his lungs. More drywall is pulled off of him and then he sees his savior — It’s a boy, perhaps a few years older, but much larger. Dark skin, pale hair. Beautiful eyes. 

“You saved me,” Dimitri says. 

  
“You saved me,” Dedue echoes. “There is nothing left for me in Duscur. I remain at your side. I am yours.” 

“I love you,” Dimitri murmurs. “I… I was going to order you away, but I am too weak.” 

“No,” Dedue says. He takes Dimitri’s chin and tilts it up. Dedue’s crying. Dimitri blinks and notices that his eyes are wet too. “You are strong. We — We can be happy, Dimitri. Even if just for a moment.”

“Happy… You make me happy, Dedue.” It sounds foolish, to say it aloud. “Can I… Can I make you happy, too?” 

  
“You already do.” Dedue smiles. “I love you.” 

And though this is not new knowledge, it still fills Dimitri with a different kind of nervous energy. He feels like he is in a new world where everything is a bit brighter, a bit warmer. Dedue’s arms are the most comfortable place in all of Fódlan. 

“May I kiss you, Dimitri?” Dedue asks. Dimitri nods. 

Dedue’s lips are warm and soft, just like him. Dimitri is certain his are chapped and he doesn’t quite know what to do with his mouth. It’s been over a decade since his last kiss. He doesn’t even know if this is Dedue’s first — though it hardly matters, really. 

Dedue doesn’t press too hard, barely allows their lips to touch, but it’s enough.They’re kissing and Dimitri has a smile on his face and his heart, for the first time in seven years, feels light. 

The kiss is a promise, Dimitri thinks. He will die in a few years. He will leave Dedue alone. But he will not waste these precious golden years. What they have, they will make enough. It’s more than enough.

It’s perfect. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been over a month whoops. Have an update!
> 
> My life is finally settling down so cross your fingers and hopefully I'll be back on track. 
> 
> The more astute of you will also notice that this is now part of a series. That's because I'm slowly making good on my promise to write some sidestories. Of course, I started with Dimitri rather than any of the half dozen ideas that were suggested (all of which are very good and will be written eventually I promise) but it still fleshes out this universe and I hope you enjoy it if you read it!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter and happy holidays if you celebrate. Thank you for ALL the support and I look forward to some awesome updates in 2020!

_ [guild] theboarprince: we will start in five minutes or when annette gets here. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Sounds good to me, Dimitri!  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Understood.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Annette said that she's on her way, but I don't know if she's on the bus yet.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: And she hasn't replied to any of my texts yet.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: if she is still on the train, she wont have a signal.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Well, it's not like this is unusual. It actually gives me time to get a snack… _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Be right back!  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: hey fe, go get dinner. you haven't eaten yet have you?  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Good idea.  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Oh, Felix! What have I told you about skipping meals?  _

_ [guild] lucky_strije: I've been busy.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Going AFK. If Sylvain touches my keyboard, I'm ripping his fingers off one by one.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: that was ONE time :((((( _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Did you not trade all of his crafting material to yourself and then sell it to a merchant for a few gold?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: actually I sold it to a cute girl for a few gold, but thanks for assuming. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Is that supposed to be better?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: well, I got her number but then Felix reported me and I got banned LOL _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: that was ban #1 I think I was visiting him or something that summer and he was pissed I did that…  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: ah, good times!!!  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I always have wondered what you did to get banned.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: It's a minor miracle he hasn't been banned since the last time.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: yeah, really, if they're tracking all my data and shit shouldn't they know I'm still the same bastard as before???  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Sylvain…  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Maybe they think that you will change.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: hasn't happened yet LOL _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: Oh Sylvain, one day you'll realize that all you're doing is hurting yourself.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: that is truly terrifying to consider. thanks mercie. _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Back! What did I miss? _

_ [guild] theboarprince: nothing important. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: We're dragging Sylvain. _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Dimitri, everything you do is important, no matter how small.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: yeah, dima! we're glad that you're around and we're glad that we play this game together since everything you ever say will be recorded for the anals of history.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: ha, anals. _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: … I don't have the energy to even bother.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Sylvain, you misspelled annals.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: no i didn't ;)))) _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: You definitely did.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I want everyone to know I walked into our room and Sylvain immediately said "I didn't do anything" so now I need to check all of my settings.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: well hurry. _

_ [guild] theboarprince: i think we will start now. _

_ [guild] theboarprince: get on voice chat. _

_ Ding! Ding! Ding!  _

"Finally," Felix drawls, the first sound Ashe hears from a real person all day. It's not his fault that all his midterms are coming up and that he's dreadfully behind in his reading and if he doesn't pass this semester with at least a 3.5 he might lose his scholarship— 

"Hello! Sorry, I'm running up to my room now — ow!" Annette comes on the chat and immediately runs into a door frame, based on the resounding  _ smack _ that echoes through chat. "I hit my shoulder…"

"Oh no, are you okay?" Mercedes asks. 

"I'm fine," Annette says, not sounding fine at all. 

"Put some ice on it," Ashe recommends. "Do you still have the little succulent ice pack that I sent you?" 

"That's a good idea! Thanks, Ashe, I completely forget about that."

"Just hurry up," Felix says, just harsh enough that the concern in his voice is almost concealed, "I don't have all night. Was your bus late or something? I keep saying that you should learn down to drive." 

_ Ah, there it is, _ Ashe thinks. He got chewed out for almost a whole hour the last time he said it, but he stands by his opinion that Felix is actually the second most caring member of the Blue Lions. He just hides it very well and, as Ashe learnt that day, is very defensive about it. 

"If it begins to swell, you may need to see a nurse," Byleth adds. "Is it bleeding?" 

"I'm fine," Annette insists. "Booting my computer up. What raid are we running?"

"I was hoping to begin the new questline. Since it is time sensitive…" Dimitri trails off. For a moment, no one says anything. "I meant, it's a challenge to try to be one of the first people to finish. Not — my health notwithstanding—" His point is kind of defeated when he begins coughing and has to mute himself. 

Ingrid clears her throat at the same time as Dedue and Byleth. Ashe wonders if it's some kind of subconscious reaction. His own throat itches a bit but he just mutes himself and drinks water, like a normal person. 

"We can do whatever you want," Ingrid says.

"Yes, I think that, as our leader, you are the most capable of choosing what would be best for us," Mercedes adds, which is a direct contradiction to years and years of the Lions arguing about what to do next, entirely without care as to hierarchy or manners. "Besides, the new raids will be something… well, new." 

"Are we all a high enough level?" Ashe asks, hating to be that guy but also not eager to spend the next three hours wiping in the name of fun. 

"I'm catching up with you," Sylvain points out. Ashe groans as he confirms that yes, Sylvain is uncomfortably close in levels to his avatar. "Don't feel too bad, it's only because I haven't studied for a test in my life." 

"Yeah, that makes me feel so much better," Ashe replies, hoping that the sarcasm drips through his microphone and strangles Sylvain with his own hubris. 

"Okay, I'm on!" Annette interrupts as her avatar shows up in the guildhall. "Dimitri, what are we running? I've been trying some new fire spells that I think will really help my damage over time." 

"We can run whatever people want." Dimitri sighs. "Nothing needs to change just because—"

"Because you're dying?" Ingrid snaps. 

There's silence. Ashe wonders if now would be a bad time to point out that he has a fetch quest involving some ents in the forest area. 

"We should do the new raid," Byleth decides. "And if we want to do another, we can do that later." 

It's as if the balloon of tension has been poked with a pin, all the air releasing in a rush. Sylvain laughs and quips about the anals — yes, the  _ anals _ of history — again and Felix tells him to shut up. Dimitri invites everyone to the raid and Dedue silently begins swapping his equipment out. Ashe follows, running through his mental checklist to make sure that everything is where it's supposed to be. He recently rebound his health potion key so that it's closer to his movement keys, but that does require a bit of mental correction since his old health potion key is now his  _ Requesting Assistance _ button. 

Ashe is still paying attention to the conversation even as he picks between two skills, so he's more than aware when Dedue says,

"I will tank for you so that you may focus on damage." 

Dimitri then replies, "Thank you, my love." 

Someone — for once not Dimitri — starts coughing violently. Sylvain shouts in glee. Annette actually begins to clap while congratulating them on getting together. 

"So you finally got off your ass? Good job. You two are a hot couple," Sylvain says. "Of course, if you're ever looking for advice—"

"What Sylvain is trying to say," Ingrid interrupts, "Is that we're happy for you two." 

"Yeah!" Ashe makes his mouth move, his vocal chords grating against each other. "You two deserve to be happy." 

"Who asked who out?" Annette asks. "Was it romantic? Were there roses?" 

"There — there were no roses," Dimitri stammers.

"Thank you," Dedue mumbles, sounding about as embarrassed as a human being can be without actually spontaneously combusting. "I, um, am ready for the raid, Dimitri." 

"There's no need to be formal," Byleth informs them. "If you two wish to refer to each other with pet names, it is completely understandable." Sometimes Ashe forgets that Byleth is a teacher, but other times the fact hits him over the head with a sledgehammer. 

_ Byleth could be in their 30s… oh no, what if they're in their 40s? _ Ashe thinks back to how much he's complained about schoolwork and teachers and petty college student things like how the dining hall is always out of spring rolls by the time he gets there.  _ They probably think you're a brat. Great. _

Sylvain is still offering to give advice, along with a few free tips that make Ashe's ears burn. Considering that Sylvain is straight, he knows a lot about — 

_ Is he straight? _ Ashe has never asked. Then again, with the amount of girls he's always talking about… 

"Can we please start the raid?" Felix begs. 

"Yes," Dimitri concurs, sounding like he's in just as much pain as Felix. "Though… Dedue… my…" The entire chat is silent. Ashe can hear his heart beat in his chest. "My dear, if you would like I purchased these new gauntlets for you in the market." 

Mercedes giggles and Annette actually swoons. "I wish I had someone who bought me things in a video game!" Annette sighs. 

"I got you these cool robes," Sylvain points out. 

"Yeah, but only as an apology because Ingrid made you." Annette sticks her tongue out and blows a raspberry. Ashe laughs alongside Ingrid while Sylvain tries to defend himself. 

Felix groans and starts spamming the Ready/Not Ready button. "Come on, boar. If you don't start, I'm going to join another guild." 

It's probably an empty threat, but Dimitri starts the raid. 

Overall, it goes well. The new storyline is compelling, the guild is focused, and Ashe is reminded of why he likes this game so much — even if he has to tell Sylvain off after the fifth or sixth joke about data security. 

The guild runs the raid twice, finishing both times without wiping, and then switches to one a bit easier to finish the night out. They don't usually complete a night without one wipe, but even more than usual Dimitri and Dedue are in sync and it's like nothing can get past them. 

Ashe remembers a movie he saw a few years back where two people mind-melded to pilot a robot. Dimitri and Dedue remind him of that. He decides he is not jealous, but he still lingers after most people have logged off. 

Even as he tells himself this is stupid, he types a message. 

_ [Conversation with theboarprince] _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Hey, I'm happy for you and Dedue!  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: thank you. _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: When did you two become official?  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: last night. we were unsure how to tell the group, but we didnt mean for it to be a secret or anything. _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Oh, I didn't think that at all. I was just curious.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i hate to be rude, but was there something you wanted to talk about. dedue is very insistent that i try to sleep tonight.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Oh, it is very simple.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: If you hurt Dedue, I'll come to Itha and kill you.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: if i hurt him, i will give you full permission to kill me.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i love him. i know that i am not a good person, but he makes me want to be better.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: You are a good man, Dimitri. Dedue wouldn't be friends with you, let alone date you, if you weren't. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: thank you. it is just difficult to accept. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i have spent so long wanting to improve, but it always seemed pointless. now…  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Well, be a better person for Dedue, if no one else.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: I'm glad we had this talk. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i am as well. you are a good friend to me, ashe, but i am under no illusion about whether youd pick me or dedue.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: and dedue deserves that in his life.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i am glad i know you. _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: I'm glad that we're friends too.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: I trust you to be good for Dedue. I just have to also give you the shovel talk since no one else will. _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Sorry. I hope it wasn't too mean :(  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: not at all.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Okay! Now go to sleep. We can play more tomorrow :)  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Good night, Dimitri!  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: good night ashe. _

_ [End of conversation with theboarprince] _

Ashe is… not necessarily happy with his conversation — it feels a bit odd threatening a guy with a terminal illness — but he feels like Dimitri understood at least. Besides, it's hard to think of someone who would be better for Dedue than Dimitri. The two have known each other for almost ten years, they're able to communicate on a deeper level than anyone else, they're already inseparable — they're perfect for one another. 

When Ashe was a kid, he read stories about knights and princesses and soulmates. He quickly grew out of it, thought that it was all fabrications of storytellers selling books, but… 

If soulmates exist, it would be Dimitri and Dedue. 

He's about to log off to sleep when he see that someone else has messaged him. 

_ [yumyum has sent you a private message!] _

Annette? He can't think of why she would want to talk with him, but he's not that tired yet and she usually has something good to say. Or at least something vaguely funny. Ashe could use something to clear the bitter taste out of his mouth. 

_ [Conversation with yumyum] _

_ [whisper] yumyum: Hey Ashe :3333 _

_ [whisper] yumyum: You did really well today!!! \\\\\\*^.^*/// _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Oh, thanks Annette! You did really great too.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: I really love the way you blew up the temple in that last fight! I didn't even know you could do that.  _

_ [whisper] yumyum: I have to remind you guys why magic is important! <33333 _

_ [whisper] yumyum: If it weren't for me, you'd all forget magic was even in the game! >;P _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Well, I'm glad that you're part of our guild :D  _

_ [whispers] yumyum: Blue Lions best Lions! *^.^* _

_ [whisper] yumyum: I wanted to just make sure you're okay???  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: What? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Are you okay?  _

_ [whisper] yumyum: Oh, I'm okay!!! =^.^= _

_ [whisper] yumyum: Did you know that Dedue and Dimitri were dating? _

_ [whisper] yumyum: Only if you are okay talking about it though! <3 _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: I didn't know, no. _

_ [whisper] yumyum: How are you feeling about it?  _

_ [whisper] yumyum: I know that you and Dedue are really close… _

_ [whisper] yumyum: Ashe? 0_0;;;; _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: It's good! I'm glad that they're happy and I'm sure that Dimitri will make Dedue happy. And that's all that matters, really, Dedue being happy is the most important. He really deserves it so much and if Dimitri is the person who can make him happy, then who am I to say anything? Really, it's just good that they've gotten their act together what with Dimitri's condition. I wish them a happy and prosperous future just like any other good friend would.  _

_ [whisper] ashetreearrows: Oh would you look at that it's getting late I'll text you tomorrow bye! _

_ [End of conversation with yumyum!]  _

Ashe decides that maybe he could have threatened Dimitri a bit more.

#

Byleth sighs as they check the progress on their latest quest. It's been hectic, but they finally have time to make real progress on the Sothis questline. It's actually been a string of easy, half-explained quests. Each time they talk with Sothis, it feels like there's less and ls information, as if someone hadn't quite filled in all the blanks on a puzzle. 

In this case,  _ [Class Quest: Locate The Clues]  _ is proving to be more difficult than they thought it would be, though admittedly it's not like they have anything else to do that afternoon. Midterm grading aside, that is, which will… take a very long time, if previous years are anything to go by. 

In theory, finding the location of ten clues scattered throughout the Garreg Mach Monastery should be easy, but the more and more Byleth searches they think that there really are only nine clues. 

_ This sucks, _ they think as they start the search again. The area for Garreg Mach isn't the largest. It's not even the most complicated. But it is the busiest, so there's a lot to try to filter out. They muted worldchat a few hours ago and, thankfully, the guildchat is silent. 

A bit ago, Ashe asked if Byleth wanted to grind together, Dimitri and Dedue are currently going through the Fight of the Progenitor God duo quests, and Ingrid is practicing flight. So the Lions are definitely on, especially since it's a Saturday afternoon. They just have other things to do rather than chat, like find this last  _ fucking _ clue— 

_ [NPC] Jeralt: Hi, [Byleth]. Just stopping by for a chat?  _

They stare at their screen. They must have clicked too close to the NPC, because now they're stuck in a conversation that they'd rather not be in. Jeralt looks the same as the other times Byleth has spoken to him, which isn't surprising since he's just a character in a game. Still, they want… they want to see him trim his beard or complain about grey hairs or crinkle up his eyes to see if the wrinkles have grown. 

Byleth still hasn't told anyone about Jeralt. They don't know if they will, if they even should. It seems ridiculous when compared to what Dimitri is going through. Besides, what is Byleth supposed to say?  _ Oh yes, my dead father is showing up in a video game that he left information on and I think he has ties to the developers but nothing is giving me answers? Oh, by the way, do you want to grind together? _

No, that would be ridiculous. 

Three options present themselves to Byleth. They feel the start of a headache. Making choices, even supposedly easy ones, is the worst. 

_ [Advice.] [Quest.] [Just saying hi.]  _

Byleth doesn't want advice, they want answers. They have tried holding conversations with Jeralt repeatedly, but all he ever does is comment on the number of friends Byleth has and tells them to find more. That's a problem because Byleth isn't about to pull a Sylvain and add everyone to their friends' list, though at the rate that things are going that might have to be their next step. 

They haven't quite reached that yet though, and they hit  _ Quest _ with maybe a bit more fierceness than their mouse deserves. 

_ [NPC] Jeralt: We’re all stronger together. Join up with other players and defeat one of the Demonic Beasts that roam the land. _

_ [NPC Quest: Join a guild and defeat any rank of Demonic Beast with at least three guild members] _

The quest appears in their log. They blink at their computer. Sighing, they pull their journal over and flip through it to get to the page for this NPC and tracking all the quests that they've been given. This is number twenty-two and it's about as interesting as the other twenty-one. 

As they jot down the newest quest, the skim over what they've gotten so far. 

_ Complete a raid with three people from your friends list. _

_ Add a total of ten people to your friends list.  _

_ Reach level 60 in your main class.  _

_ Make five successful trades with other players. _

The list goes on. They're all social quests except for a few that are just about leveling up. Simple enough, even if the fact that Byleth has to keep asking the Lions to help them out with weird quests is a little frustrating. They'd prefer to just put their head down and grind things out alone, but that's also why all of their friends also play this game. 

Maybe there is something to be said about a social game. Certainly, Byleth has had many nights where they haven't wanted to do anything but stare emotionlessly at Jeralt's closed door. With the Lions constantly playing and asking them to join in, as if they've been a member of the guild for years and not just a few months, they haven't had much time to mope around. 

Work wanted them to go to grief counseling, but they found it much more healing to laugh with the Lions about Sylvain's poor flirting attempts or help Ashe master a tricky timing than try to explain how they felt about their father passing away. 

_ Make ten successful combo attacks with other players.  _

_ Complete ten duo quests.  _

_ Join a guild and defeat any rank of Demonic Beast with at least three guild members. _

Byleth blinks. Did they write that down just now? No, they can't have — it's the very top of the list. It must have been the first quest they ever completed. But that means… 

"I'm going in circles." Byleth groans and, in a moment of rare anger, slam their hand on the table. The noise echoes through the empty apartment, even through the music in their headphones. 

_ What am I doing? Why did I think that quests in a game would ever give me any answers?  _

Their mouse hovers over the  _ Log Off  _ button, as if walking away to stare at their empty kitchen or glare at the television will somehow provide the answers they're looking for. But they certainly aren't getting anywhere with the way they're going now. It's been months and they feel like they're at the same place as when they began.

There's literally a journal in front of them that is physical proof that they've gotten some work done solving this mystery, but they relate too much to a cat surrounded by unwound yarn. Too many leads, no clear end, and unfortunately the answer isn't really to cut through everything with sharp claws. For one, Byleth doesn't have claws. Second, they aren't sure what cutting through it all would be. They haven't heard back since they sent their email, though maybe that is for the best… 

Would Jeralt have even wanted them to labor over this issue so much anyways? Maybe it's really just a coincidence… yes, that an NPC with his name and appearance showed up in a game that Byleth only started playing because of a note in Jeralt's notes. A total coincidence. No point reading into it at all.

Byleth can't even pretend to believe themself.

_ [iDetectcrests has sent you a private message!]  _

If it weren't for the little  _ Ding _ that comes through Byleth's cheap earbuds, they probably would have missed the notification entirely. They've never really talked with the other mods outside of mod things, so they figure it's something like that. Maybe an incident report or Hanneman needs to switch mod duttes for a day and wants to see if Byleth can help out.

Sighing, they open the message thread. 

_ [Conversation with [Mod] iDetectcrests]  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Hello, Byleth! I wanted to know if you want to practice Reason together in the arena.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Only if you have the time, though.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: That actually sounds like a good idea.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Add me to your group so I can fast travel to you.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Certainly!  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: How are you today?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Fine. You?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: I'm doing well. It's a good day when I can sit at home and play a video game and call it work.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You work for Genesis Systems?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: If we want to get technical, I'm a contractor.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: While I set up the arena match, are there any specific rules you would like me to use? I'm setting it to Reason only.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I don't care. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What do you do as a contractor? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: I primarily work on scripting for non-playable characters. Things such as nonlinear quest scripting, accounting for variables in a player’s class and level — all the things that help make a story fun and dynamic.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: So a mix of writing and programming. It's much more dry than it sounds.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: What do you do when you aren't playing Fire Emblem?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I'm a teacher.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I actually am interested in AI. You are talking about AI, right?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Yes! In fact — and don't tell Rhea I'm telling you this — but we've been working on some very exciting things.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Oh? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Well, we're working on an AI program that's completely reactive based on input — no more limited options or set paths, just an NPC having a conversation with you. It'll be like talking with a real person.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: If you would like, I can send you some of my research.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: But like I said, it is very dry.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: And of course you cannot tell anyone.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I would love to read your research.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Perfect! I will send it to you over Eris later. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] iDetectcrests: Are you ready to start?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: One moment. I need to get something quickly.  _

_ [End of conversation with [Mod] iDetectcrests]  _

Byleth checks who's online in the Blue Lions. Besides the others they saw earlier, Annette has also jumped on as has Sylvain, though a quick look at Eris shows that no one is on voice. 

Still, Byleth doesn't even hesitate as they message the guild. 

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Hello. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Hi Byleth!  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Good afternoon :333 _

_ [guild] yumyum: Or wherever you are =^u^=  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Hello. _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I had a rather odd question for the group. _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Dimitri says hello as well. We are in a quest right now.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: hi Byleth what's up??? _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Does anyone know anything about AI?  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Don't all speak at once. _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: sorry not really my thing.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Sorry, I don't know much about computers either :'(((( _

_ [guild] yumyum: Ashe, your dad works with computers. Maybe…?  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Yeah, but talking about the game at all is a bit of a sore subject. I don't even talk about you guys with him.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: LOL _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: I guess, what's the question?  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I'm mostly interested in applications of AI in a practical setting, such as using AI to help mimic human interaction. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Can I ask why?  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Teacher stuff. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Um, I guess I can see what my dad has that I could send you. One of my friends is also in computer science and he's doing stuff like that, but he goes to school in Adrestia.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: I would appreciate anything you can send, Ashe.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Sure. _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: just make sure that genesis systems isn't reading all your messages ;))))) _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Shut up.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: byleth, if you need any help i have too much free time and too much money.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Dimitri will you buy me a cupcake :3333 _

_ [guild] theboarprince: yes. ill send some money to your cashcompanion.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Oh!!!!! :0 You don't have to, it was a joke! _

_ [guild] theboarprince: as we have established, i have no need for money or savings. you are my friend and i wish to treat my friends sometimes. _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: hey dima can i have a cupcake :3  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: no. _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Hahaha!  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: :33333  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: :((((( _

Byleth doesn't allow themself to feel guilty about asking their friends for help. They'll never know exactly what's going on, so even if Ashe is understandably touchy about being asked anything about AI, it doesn't matter. 

And if it gets Byleth closer to figuring out what's going on, then it'll be worth it. 

#

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: I still cannot believe that you somehow beat us during the competition. _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: that was months ago why are you still salty over it??? _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: bc we tote should have won!!!!!!! U guys got lucky w ur swordsman _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: blue house best house :3  _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: I do not want to be THAT person but what is that catchphrase?  _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: Anyone could use that!  _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: I could say "Black Eagles best eagles" and make that our catchphrase. Who would argue with me? _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: evry1 hopefully  _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: can we go back 2 hitting things all this talk in boring _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: im just trying to understand the pile of salt that is Mr. Cavalier over there. _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: You are playing the game with a group ENTIRELY of Black Eagles members.  _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: Naturally, I must bring up my indignation in regards to the last fight between our guilds. _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: bro who uses indignition in a video game  _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: I do, CLEARLY.  _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: this is y i say hubert has shit taste _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: wait Ferdie did you and Hubert finally kiss kiss fall in love???  _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: and why am I finding out from Casper the friendly ghost of all people  _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: asdfjgurjdkvlAi39sc _

_ [groupchat] danceroftheopera: Did your cat get your keyboard again?  _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: I — We are not in love, it is just a mutual partnership between two like-minded individuals wherein we attend social events together. _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: my name is CASPAR ive told u this leik 5 times!!!  _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: damn wish i had a like-minded individual who would go to social events with me :((((  _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: go raid w your best house then  _

_ [whisper] not_house_gaudy_3: :(  _

_ [groupchat] danceroftheopera: Is there a reason you're raiding with us today and not your own guild, Sylvain?  _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: yeah ever since two of them got together, its been all them all day long and im sick of it tbh _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: im happy for them i really am like yay theyre happy and in love and call each other sickeningly cute nicknames but like i also get irrationally mad sometimes???  _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: oh god am i homophobic :'(((( _

_ [groupchat] danceroftheopera: Well, you're currently in a raid with a lipstick lesbian and two gay guys so no, I don't think you are.  _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: I think that you are just jealous of their happiness. Have you ever been in a real relationship?  _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: lol burnnnnn _

_ [groupchat] iamferdinand: I am simply asking! A series of one night stands with a woman do not count. _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: but its so so much fun…  _

_ [groupchat] not_house_gaudy_3: ugh, im raiding with you guys so i dont have to think about it. come on. _

_ [groupchat] knightofbluehair: FINALLY _

_ [Conversation with danceroftheopera] _

_ [whisper] danceroftheopera: Okay, but if you want to talk, I'm here. You know that, right?  _

_ [whisper] not_house_gaudy_3: yeah yeah.  _

_ [whisper] not_house_gaudy_3: ugh being straight is exhausting. _

_ [whisper] danceroftheopera: Uh huh. _

_ [End of conversation with danceroftheopera]  _

#

The first real date that Dimitri and Dedue go on is a classic: movie, dinner, a walk in the park, and then cuddling at Dedue's apartment. They pick Dedue's because Dimitri already spends enough of his time at home and, really, the point of going out is to get Dimitri somewhere he doesn't usually spend time. Everything else is simple. Safe. Something that they've done a million times before, ever since they were two teenage boys struggling to come to terms with a tragedy that never should have happened. 

So why is Dimitri feeling like an out of place statue, a cracked marble man alongside elegant porcelain busts that are painted with delicate pastels? 

The restaurant is nice enough that Dimitri took a shower and has his nice eyepatch on, as well as a real button-up and jeans without holes in them. Dedue is the most handsome man in the room, though, with a flannel pulled tight over his chest and tucked into his pants. Dimitri hasn't taken his eye off of Dedue since they sat down — even his menu is still unopened in front of him. 

Dedue has ordered water for both of them, seeing as neither should mix alcohol with the different medications that they're on. There's fresh bread for an appetizer, the kind that's so warm that it melts the butter as soon as it gets close. From what Dedue says, and the fact that he’s eaten half a loaf, it must be delicious. Dimitri thinks it tastes like styrofoam. 

“Where did you hear of this place again?” Dimitri asks. His tongue feels like lead. He’s pretty sure there’s an older couple a few seats away that keep looking at him and Dedue like they’re going to start throwing food or something. He wants to tell them off, but he also can't tell if they're just enjoying their night and Dimitri is the one overthinking things. 

"I may have asked some of the residents at the home," Dedue confesses. Dimitri smiles.

"Well, I am sure they will be happy you took them up on their suggestion." 

Dedue laughs. “And the other half will insist on planning my next several dates. They all mean well, but they really are the worst gossips.” 

“Worse than Sylvain?”

“Much. At least he has schoolwork — presumably — to busy himself with.” Dedue makes a face. “Actually, no, he’s never been studious, has he?”

“Even as children, Sylvain prided himself on doing the least amount of work and still mastering any material placed in front of him. It was a shock when he had to redo senior year.” Dimitri feels the tension between his shoulders and the pounding in his head lessen, if just a bit. “This all feels a bit foolish,” he confesses. 

Dedue’s face goes stony cold. “What do you mean?” 

Dimitri grimances. “Oh, no, I am enjoying spending time with you, it just — we’ve spent so much time together. This really doesn’t feel much different than any other time that we’ve gone out, only we’re calling it something different.” He picks up his water and manages to down it all in one gulp, though his hand is shaking something fierce.

“I suppose you’re right. I hoped to spoil you, but if you aren’t happy then we can leave.” Dedue frowns down at his plate. “I have never been on a date before. I am sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting.” 

“What? No, Dedue, I love — I love you. I love being with you. I’m the one who should apologize for making this so awkward, I just—” And now Dedue tilts his head and his earrings catch the light just right and Dimitri’s thoughts all fly out of his head so suddenly that the little cartoon birds are almost visible as they fly away. 

The waitress comes over and Dimitri’s embarrassment is covered when Dedue orders for the both of them. If the waitress finds this odd, she doesn’t say anything. Then again, Dimitri is missing an eye and isn’t all there and this restaurant is apparently frequented by enough elderly people that it’s recommended to Dedue, so she’s probably just assuming he’s another person in a home being brought out into society for a fun day trip before being locked up again.

_ I really should get out more, _ Dimitri thinks.  _ I hope I don’t look that awful. _ He tries to subtly glance at himself — maybe he’s spilled something and hasn’t realized yet — but it’s hard enough looking straight with one eye, not to mention down without moving one’s head. He gives up and justs asks Dedue. 

“You look — you look very handsome,” Dedue replies.

“Thank you, but I was asking more if I had spilled something.” 

“Oh, no, you haven’t.” Dedue sips at his water. The two fall back into a soft, though not necessarily peaceful silence. There’s too much ambient noise from around them, too much going on for Dimitri to relax, but at least it’s quieter in his head. 

He actually took his medication on time that morning. Mercedes would be proud. Dedue certainly was. 

“Dimitri, I have an odd question for you. And you don’t have to answer it now, but I wanted to bring it up so you could think on it.” Dedue’s face, upon examination, looks actually rather nervous. Dimitri can’t quite think of anything that could make Dedue nervous. After all, has Dimitri actually ever said  _ No _ to Dedue?

It occurs to Dimitri that the one question that he would answer negatively towards is also one that, until recently, had not even been on the table. But surely Dedue is not so enamored with the verisimilitude of humanity that is Dimitri Blaiddyd that he would actually ask Dimitri to marry him? 

"Would you want to meet the others in person?" 

The first thought Dimitri has is  _ Of course he wouldn't want to marry you _ . The second thought is— 

"Why would I want to do that?" Dimitri frowns. "I… I suppose I've never thought of it as an option." 

Sure, he obviously had spent time with Felix, Sylvain, and Ingrid before. And everyone has traded pictures by this point, so he knows what the others look like from Annette's red curls to Mercedes's soft smile to the way one of Ashe's front teeth is a bit crooked. And Dimitri has, frankly, enough money that he could visit anyone whenever he wants. But…

"They wouldn't want to meet me, I am sure." Dimitri laughs, though it doesn't quite reach his heart. He starts to play with the tablecloth, picking at a frayed edge. He isn't looking at Dedue but he can feel those eyes on him. "We play a game together, that is all."

"Please look at me and say, truthfully, that this is only a game." Dedue knows that Dimitri can't. The heavy sigh that escapes Dimitri is not one of agreement, however.

"Where would we even meet? Fhirdiad? I find it difficult to believe that Felix and Sylvain would willingly open their doors to me, let alone the rest of the guild." Dimitri shrugs. "I am happy as it is." 

"Have you seen anyone in person besides me, Rodrigue, or your therapist, in the last two years?” Dedue asks. Dimitri just gives him a look. They both know the answer to that. “Exactly. I am not saying that you must do it, but it is worth considering.”

“They would not even want to meet me,” Dimitri insists. Dedue snorts.

“Why do you think that?”

“We’re going in circles,” Dimitri points out. “This is — I understand your concern, but there’s no point in discussing something that would not come to pass.”

“Okay.” Dedue most likely only agrees because the waitress is approaching with dinner. Dedue has ordered a steak and mixed vegetables. Dimitri gets some kind of baked pasta dish — ziti? Lasagna? Dedue would know — that’s got browned cheese on top and, if his nose works, some kind of meat inside. It smells good enough and, as he takes a hesitant bite, is actually textured quite well. 

Dimitri still can’t taste it beyond  _ warm _ and  _ not crunchy _ but it’s about as good as food gets for him. The cheese is almost rich enough that, if he thinks hard enough, he can remember what it should taste like.    
  


They’re quiet for a few minutes, save for Dimitri asking Dedue if he’s happy with his choice. The food, of course, not his choice in agreeing to date Dimitri, because that’s a forgone conclusion — though Dimitri still cannot fathom why anyone would want to hitch their sorry future with him in any sense. 

After Dimitri has been reduced to nibbling on his meal, Dedue sets his fork aside. 

  
“I realize that you did not answer my question,” he says. 

“Which one?” Dimitri responds, as if he doesn’t know what Dedue is talking about. Dedue humors him.

“If it were up to you, would you want to meet the others?” 

Dimitri sighs. He nods. “But it won’t happen, so I don’t want to dwell on it.” He manages a smile. “I would rather enjoy the time I have with you, my love.” He fears, at first, that the nickname will prove too much but Dedue just smiles.

“I understand. I want to enjoy every moment I have with you as well.” Dedue reaches out and squeezes Dimitri’s hand in his. Dedue is warm. He always is. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you,” Dimitri echoes. Neither of them bring it up again that night. 

#

Byleth gets the email on Wednesday night. It’s from  _ cgricenchos@genesissystems.com _ with the subject  _ RE:Internship Program. _ They almost don’t want to read it. 

They open it near instantly.

_ Dear Professor Byleth, _

_ Thank you for your interest in setting up a program with Genesis Systems. We have not had an intern at our company before, but it is something we would certainly be interested in. As one of the leaders in MMORPGs, there is much that a student could learn by partnering with us. There are many details we would need to work through.  _

_ Would you be able to come to our office this Friday around 3:00 pm? The address is 1180 Imperial Way, Fhirdiad 072619. Parking is open, though if you take public transportation there is a five to eight minute walk from the nearest bus stop, depending on your luck with crosswalks. _

_ When you arrive, give the secretary your name and tell them you are here to see me.  _

_ Of course, if Friday is not convenient, please let me know. That is just the soonest time I am available to discuss this internship with you. What with winter break fast approaching, I imagine it would be best to meet sooner rather than later.  _

_ Have a good day, _

_ Cichol Gricenchos _

_ HR Manager  _

After a quick second read, just in case Byleth has misread anything, they hit  _ Reply _ . Their response is short enough that they don’t labor over word choice and whether they sound professional enough. Their metaphorical foot is in the door. 

_ Sorry Dimitri, _ Byleth thinks as they hit  _ Send _ and watch their email go out into the aether.  _ It looks like I will be missing raid night. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this, an update on time? :D
> 
> There's some big stuff in here. Major warnings for graphic depictions of gore, hallucinations, mild suicidal thoughts/mention, and general Dimitri unpleasantness towards the end. 
> 
> You'll see it coming because it's the third section, starting with "It's cold. Dimitri is from Faerghus, so that's normal. But he doesn't like it." It ends around "Dedue’s in grey-white pajamas, his hair a mess, and he looks down at Dimitri with an unreadable expression." I'll leave a note at the end of what happens in the section. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The front office is simple and reminds Byleth of waiting rooms when they were a child — old magazines are organized on a dusty glass table and the only thing more uncomfortable than the pleather couch they're sitting on is the utter silence, save for the secretary's typing. Byleth is playing with a Rubik's cube, one of the more socially acceptable fidget toys in their collection. They are too distracted to actually try solving it, so they're just repeating the same steps over and over. 

Their phone, which is muted, still glows with notifications from the Eris chat. They could silence the notifications, but that would require actually opening up the phone and that sounds like a bit too much hand-eye coordination right now. So Byleth just sits and continues sliding and turning their Rubik's cube, the soft _click_ of pieces sliding into place helping break up the monotony of sitting there. 

_Click. Click. Click._

Byleth's early. That's probably why they haven't been let in yet. They followed all of the steps for an interview, since they aren't quite sure how to treat this otherwise. Business casual, ten minutes early, even brought a small folder with their resume, though they don't think that'll be very useful. If this is a dead end, then they don't have students to take an internship even if it gets established. If this is a lead on what's going on with their father — what _was_ going on — then they have more important questions. 

They haven’t let themself think about what the next step is, if this is a dead end. Keep playing the game? Give up? It all seems so… overwhelming. 

_Click. Click. Click._

The secretary’s phone rings. He picks it up and nods, saying _Uh-huh_ a few times, before hanging up. He looks at Byleth, who finds themself frozen like a deer in headlights.

“Cichol — Mr. Gricenchos — will be here soon. His last meeting is running late.” 

“Okay.” Byleth stares at the secretary. He stares back. Byleth looks down at the unsolved Rubik's cube. What is the formula to solving it? Their fingers move but they’re just making it worse. They should know this — even though all the pieces are scattered, the answer is right in front of them. Why can’t they just solve it? 

The door opens. A man in a dark blue suit with gold buttons and a patterned tie smiles at Byleth. He has dark green hair, which catches Byleth off-guard. They realize that this is a gaming company, so it must be a bit more lax with dress code. At the university, they can barely get away with the green that they prefer, though the dark roots are starting to show. 

“Hello. You must be Byleth?” The man asks. Byleth nods. “My name is Cichol Gricenchos. But call me Cichol, please.” Cichol waves to the secretary. “Thank you, Cyril. Please let anyone else who asks know that both Seiros and I are busy for the rest of the day.”

“Got it!” 

Cichol gestures at Byleth. They blink before standing and, slowly, following Cichol as he leads them into the office itself. 

_Click. Click. Click._

They wonder if they should put the Rubik's cube away, but it might be too late now. Cichol’s already seen them with it and he didn’t say anything. Or is Byleth supposed to ask for permission? At work, the rest of the faculty is used to their stimming and don’t care as long as they don’t distract anyone. Maybe Cichol already knows that? 

Byleth thinks about that. There’s no reason _for_ Cichol to know anything about them, not unless he looked them up online. Their work information and the death of their father are public knowledge, but Byleth’s overall a private person. They don’t have much in the way of social media, not unless one counts their _Fire Emblem account._

_Did he look up my account? That would be weird… Right?_

“Did you have a safe drive?” Cichol asks. 

“I didn’t drive,” Byleth replies. Cichol nods, glancing over his shoulder. His eyes flicker to Byleth’s Rubik's cube. “Um, sorry, I can put it away if you want?”

“Oh, no, I was just wondering if — never mind.” He gestures to an intersection up ahead. “My office is to the right. Do you want any coffee? Water? I can probably find some tea.” 

There’s no one else in the halls, nor any noise that Byleth would usually associate with a busy office. Maybe the rest of the workers are just in a different part? The building itself is huge and this is but a small portion of it, so they certainly aren’t getting a full tour. They probably don’t give tours. Byleth didn’t see that as an option on the website. 

A tour probably would be less stressful than this. 

_Click. Click. Click._

“Byleth, did you want anything to drink?” Cichol repeats.

“Oh, um, no. Thank you.” Byleth thinks about the conversation, flipping back through it like an old picture book. Their fingers continue to run over the Rubik's cube, though they’ve slowed down their movements. “I don’t usually drive. I can, but I prefer the bus.” 

“What? Oh. That’s fine. I am glad you got here safely, regardless of how you got here.” Cichol leads them the rest of the way before opening the office door. 

The office is simple. A heavy wooden desk with three monitors, a few pictures angled away from the door, and a potted plant provide the main decoration. Cichol sits in a big leather chair on the far side while Byleth takes their place in a slightly less formal wooden chair with dark blue fabric. There’s a window that dominates the majority of the wall. It overlooks the parking lot. Byleth wonders if Cichol watched them come up. 

Other than the computer, there’s also a desk phone and a place for Cichol to put his personal phone. He does so and the screen comes to life as it begins charging. Byleth sees an image of a girl and a woman before looking away. They’re never going to be called _graceful_ in social situations, but they know that some things are best kept private. 

“So, Byleth, I’ll admit that I did a bit of research on you. The youngest professor at Fhirdiad University, teaching in their history department — I wouldn’t think that a history teacher would be interested in setting up a program at a video game company,” Cichol states. Byleth was expecting this question. 

“I have students in, um, lots of departments.” They try to stop moving around the Rubik's cube, wincing each time the _click_ rings out in the office, but the idea of holding still makes them want to rip their skin off. They’re wearing the most comfortable black sweater and black slacks that they could find, but they’re pretty sure they look like they’re going to a funeral and not an interview.

This might have been what they wore to their father’s funeral. Byleth doesn’t remember a lot from that day.

“How did you hear about our company?” Cichol doesn’t seem bothered by their clothes. Maybe he’s just too polite to say anything. 

Byleth tears their eyes away from the plant to look at Cichol, only to drop their gaze to the table. They swallow and manage to settle their eyes on the wall right behind Cichol. If he finds this odd, he doesn’t show it — but since when has Byleth been any good at reading people? 

“My father.” Byleth frowns slightly. “I play the game.” 

“Oh! Do you play it often?” 

_What counts as often?_ Byleth wonders. 

“About five times a week,” they reply. Cichol’s eyebrows shoot up. Byleth hopes that’s a good thing.

“Are you part of a guild?” Cichol seems… Interested about Byleth’s in-game accomplishments. Byleth isn’t sure why. It must have something to do with an internship, but they don’t think that being familiar with the game really makes them more qualified to set up a program or anything like that. “Sorry, you don’t need to answer. I just always like talking with players.” 

“It’s okay.” Byleth knows that phrases of reassurance help people know that they haven’t made mistakes. Jeralt used to give them plenty of reassurance when they were having particular difficulty with a conversation or topic. They’ve always been better at texting. “I am a member of the Blue Lions. I am a mod. My account is also named Byleth.” 

Cichol blinks. “Well, that makes sense.” He clears his throat. “You said your father told you about the game?”

“Yes. He wrote it down in a journal. His name was Jeralt.” 

Byleth is never going to win awards for their stunning social perception, but Cichol visibly pales several shades closer to white. _Should I say something?_ Byleth glances down at the Rubik's cube. Oh, they actually have a side solved. 

“A journal, you say?” Cichol shifts in his seat. He takes his eyes off Byleth for the first time to look at one of the pictures on his desk. Byleth still can’t see most of it, but Cichol is looking back at them before they can ask. “Also, I am sorry to hear about Jeralt.” 

“Thank you.”

Cichol opens his mouth and then closes it. The desk phone rings before he can say anything. Byleth jolts in their seat, almost dropping their Rubik's cube. Cichol murmurs what Byleth thinks is an apology, but they can’t hear much over the ringing. Cichol answers his phone with a simple _Hello?_

The voice on the other end is too soft for Byleth to make out, but the conversation doesn’t drag on very long. Cichol hangs up. He adjusts his tie as he stands.

“I will be right back, Byleth. I apologize, but this is very important.” He doesn’t wait for them to say anything before leaving. The door shuts softly behind him. Byleth blinks at the spot that Cichol once occupied. 

They look at the computer monitors. They look at the desk. Some of the pictures are within eyesight and they wouldn’t even have to stand. 

_Click._

_Click._

_Click._

_Well, they are out in the open,_ Byleth reasons. They look at the closet one — a child’s picture done in messy crayon. There’s three stick figures standing amidst a field of yellow. Hay? Corn? Wheat? A yellow street? There’s blue which could be the sky or water, but Byleth can’t tell. Of the stick figures, one is shorter than the other. That one has two long lines of green coming from their head. The two taller figures have black hair. If it has a name in the corner, an artist’s sloppy signature, Byleth can’t see it.

The second picture is that of a young girl with two long pigtails on either side of her face. She’s got a toothy grin as she holds up what looks like a massive fish, but is probably much smaller in reality. She’s young — Cichol’s daughter? Byleth can’t tell if she looks anything like Cichol. Her hair isn’t green, but that seems like a silly comparison. People don’t have green hair, not usually.

The door opens before Byleth can examine the last picture. They turn around and see Cichol holding the door open for a woman. Her hair is mint green, long and flowing over her shoulders. She wears a dark blue blouse and a matching skirt with gold trim. She’s in heels that cause her to look down at Cichol when she asks him to go take a break. Cichol hesitates.

“Are you — are you sure?” He asks.

“Yes.” The woman looks at Byleth. “Hello, Byleth. My name is Seiros. I am the founder of Genesis Systems, but you would know me as Rhea.” 

Cichol leaves the room. Byleth stares at Seiros — Rhea? Does it matter? — and, for the first time all afternoon, their hands still. Seiros gives Byleth a large smile. 

“I am glad that you reached out, though I was surprised to hear why from Cichol. But, please, do you want anything to drink or eat? We have a lunch room. We could talk there or in my office.”

“I am okay.” Byleth frowns. “Thank you.” Should they stand or stay seated? They end up standing, if just so they don’t have to crane their neck to look at Seiros. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s okay. You know me as Rhea. That’s my name in the game. I took it from the mother of all the gods, just like in the stories.” Byleth doesn’t know what stories Seiros is talking about, but they nod anyways. “My name in the real world is Seiros. I’m not just a moderator for _Fire Emblem._ I helped create it from the very first string of code. Both Cichol and I are founders of Genesis Systems. Oh, I don’t think he told you — you would know him as Seteh or Ceruleandragon. For safety, we don’t use our real names in game, but we want people to feel connected to us.”

“Okay.” Byleth runs a finger over the seam on the Rubik's cube, feeling the little lines that break up each piece. “Why are you talking to me?” 

Seiros chuckles, ducking her head slightly. A few strands of hair fall in her face. Idly, Byleth wonders if everyone who works here has green hair. But, no, the secretary didn’t. Besides, that would be a weird standard. 

“I feel like there are many questions you must have. Do you mind if I sit?” She gestures to Cichol’s desk. Byleth shrugs. It doesn’t matter to them. They just watch as Seiros sits on Cichol’s desk. Byleth decides to sit back down in the chair. “Thank you.”

“It’s not my desk,” Byleth points out.

“I suppose not.” Seiros hums. “I meant it when I said I was sorry about your father. I am especially sorry now that I know who exactly he was. Did you know that Jeralt and I knew each other?” 

“I wasn’t sure.” 

“We did. I met him when we were both much younger. He helped develop our internal security. Not just against hackers in game, but also out of game. He was one of the first outsiders we hired, when _Fire Emblem_ was just a dream in the sky.” 

“He helped… code?” Byleth can remember Jeralt having trouble using the microwave and setting up his phone’s voicemail. It’s hard to picture him sitting in front of a computer all day. “But he was a security guard.” 

Seiros’s smile flags. “I always did wonder what he did after he parted ways with us. I wish that he had stayed in the business. He was so talented. Even I had trouble understanding some of his backdoors. The NPC in game was a tribute to him. We were going to add NPCs of all of us, but in the end he was the only one who made it.” 

There's not much Byleth can say about that. They start working on the puzzle again, though they aren't paying any attention to it. 

“Who created my account?” Byleth asks, feeling disturbed by this line of the conversation. They wish they could take notes. They aren’t sure they can remember everything. Will Seiros get mad if they start typing on their phone? Byleth’s pretty sure that’s rude, even if they have a good reason for it. “I didn’t create it. The information was in my father’s journal.”

“I would assume Jeralt made it. He must have left some sort of backdoor to the game. Though, the fact that we didn’t find it or even accidentally remove it over the years is just a testament to his skill.” Seiros shrugs. “I don’t know much about your class or how you can speak with Sothis, as I said when you asked about her. You shouldn’t be able to, no matter what code Jeralt drew your class from.”

Something clicks in Byleth’s head. Their fingers still. “Because that was all abandoned.”

“Right.” Seiros laughs. “I have had to code more for your class myself. Not that I do not trust someone else to do it, but it is… delicate.”

“You do not trust someone else with it,” Byleth says. Seiros regards Byleth carefully. They sense that they’ve misstepped, but not how. They feel a familiar frustration burn in their chest, a reaction first encountered as a child trying to connect with their peers and then brought back every time a comment doesn’t quite come out the right way or something obvious goes unobserved. “Why did no one else become an NPC?” 

Seiros waves a hand. “Personal preference. Though, there is still time. I think Cichol would make a good NPC. Regal, helpful. He’s always liked being a mod, though, and we wouldn’t want to be both. There’s too much of a chance of someone noticing the similarities.”

Byleth isn’t sure how anyone would connect an NPC to a mod in game, but they don’t feel like saying that. Not with how they already feel like they’re on eggshells. The worst part is that they don’t know if Seiros is actually mad at them or if they’re just overthinking this. 

_My therapist is going to have a lot to talk about,_ they think.

“You know, Byleth, it’s okay if you want to play with your Rubik's cube.” Seiros hesitates before adding, “I know Jeralt always worked best when he had something in his hands. I think you must have inherited it from him.”

Byleth doesn’t have anything to say in response, so they just look down and start working on the Rubik's cube again. _Click. Click. Click._ They’ve got two sides done now. 

“I know this must be very strange, but I remember when you were born. Your father still worked here for six years. It wasn’t until your mother passed away…” Seiros stops. “Sorry. I don’t mean to drag up old memories.”

“I don’t remember her at all.” Byleth squints at the cube. “I don’t remember you.”

“You were very young.” 

Byleth accepts that. They flip the cube around, taking in the other sides and the confusing patterns that the colored squares inadvertently make. Seiros doesn’t say anything. There’s only the sound of her crossing and uncrossing her ankles. 

“Why did my father leave the company?” Byleth asks.

“He wanted to spend more time with you. I offered to adjust his schedule, but he thought it would be for the best. Honestly, I always thought that he was… haunted, I would say, by the game and the work. Since he met your mother here and all. I’m sure that colored his memories.” 

Byleth doesn’t remember Jeralt saying much about their mother. There are pictures, of course. Byleth has been told that they inherited their mother’s eyes and nose. They don’t know if that’s true. Their mother had her face and Byleth has their face. It’s never made much sense to them, this idea that people can just _have_ things from their parents. 

Seiros continues. "I should have done more to stay in touch, but I admit that I was bitter. He was leaving my dream behind. I saw him as abandoning everything we worked towards. We stopped talking." She sighs, looking out the window. "And now he's dead." 

Byleth nods. Their eyes fall to the Rubik's cube. Their hands seem to have put pieces together, but the majority of it is still a mess. A sigh escapes them despite everything, and they glance up at Seiros out of anxiety. Seiros manages a smile. It isn't one they return. 

"I'm sure there are more pleasant things we can discuss. I have taken the rest of the day to talk with you, so please do not hesitate." 

There are still so many questions that Byleth has, but they don't know what to begin with. Sothis is a mystery. The game is a mystery. The woman in the picture — one of them has to be Seiros, but who is the other? And—

"Who is Emeralddragon?" Byleth asks. Seiros frowns. 

"What?" 

"Seteth… Cichol's sister." 

"Oh, right. Her real name is Cethleann." Seiros smooths out her skirt. Byleth doesn't see anything wrong with it, but maybe they just don't know skirts well enough. "She's younger than you by quite a bit. She is actually Cichol's daughter." An elegant, perfectly manicured hand reaches out and takes one of the pictures from Cichol's desk. It's the one of the girl with green hair. 

Byleth supposes, if they squint and try very hard, they can see some family resemblance. Seiros smiles as she touches the glass with a finger. She seems to realize what she's doing and blushes, laughing a little.

"Sorry. She and I are close — I would say I'm almost like her godmother." 

Admittedly, that doesn't mean much to Byleth who can barely comprehend family bonds beyond parent-child, probably thanks to not having any family beyond Jeralt growing up. Thinking about Jeralt makes them think of his box, which leads to— 

"Then who is the second person in my picture?" They wonder aloud. Seiros tilts her head to one side.

"Your picture?" 

Byleth has to set the Rubik's cube aside to pull out their phone. It takes them a moment to find what they're thinking of, and it certainly doesn't help that they have to keep closing notifications from Eris. They're missing raid night for this. They're pretty sure it's worth it. 

The photo located, they crank up the brightness on their phone and turn it to show Seiros. The way her eyes widen and her mouth drops open is something even Byleth can't miss. Seiros clears her throat, holding out her hand but not touching Byleth's phone until Byleth nods. Gingerly, Seiros takes Byleth's phone in hand. She stares at it for long enough that the screen goes dark. She hands it back to Byleth with a sniff. 

"My apologies. I never knew that photo still existed anywhere. That person — she is my mother. She passed away before the game was finished. It was her final wish — make a game that would bring people together, not push them apart." Seiros sighs, looking back out the window. Her hair tumbles over her shoulders and Byleth follows the locks with a careful, exacting gaze. "The game is made in her honor. I know that I can be… extreme with the game. But in many ways it symbolizes her memory."

"I understand." Byleth isn't sure that they do. They flip their Rubik's cube around, eyeing the completed parts. Seiros chuckles. 

"Do you know how to solve that?" She asks.

"Yes… sorry, I can put it away." Byleth moves to do so, but Seiros shakes her head. 

"It's okay." She smiles. "I hope you become more comfortable around me. I know this must be odd, but as I said, I knew you when you were born." 

"Yes." Byleth shrugs. "I do not remember you at all. I am sorry." 

"That isn't your fault. You were very young. I just hope that you will allow me to be in your life, even if it is just through a video game." 

Byleth hesitates. Seiros's smile fades. Alarm builds in Byleth's chest — why can't they do anything right? Seiros wants to help them, and they have wanted someone like family… if Seiros knew Jeralt, maybe she has stories about him that even Byleth doesn't know. 

It feels like there is a great deal that Byleth didn't know about their father. 

"That is a lot of me to ask. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be putting you in such a position." Seiros waves a hand in the air. "Think on it. The offer is on the table." 

"You're on the table," Byleth points out. Seiros laughs. Byleth's not sure what's so funny. 

"Here." Seiros takes a pen and a pad of sticky notes off of Cichol's desk. She scrawls two phone numbers down, labelling one as her own and one as Cichol's, before handing the note to Byleth. "Here. So that you can contact us whenever. Though," Seiros adds with a smile, "I know you have our Eris handles as well." 

Byleth puts the note in their folder, pressed carefully between the two sides. "Thank you," they say for lack of a better phrase. 

"Of course." Seiros straightens her spine and claps her hands together. "Did you want to tour the studio? Most of our developers have gone home, but I'm sure that Catherine — Thunderstrike — is still around. She's always working overtime." She stands, once more towering over Byleth. 

The idea of meeting more people makes Byleth feel ill. They shake their head and then stand up as well. They hold a hand out and Seiros shakes it without hesitation. Her hands are surprisingly warm. 

"I think I will go. Thank you for meeting with me," Byleth says. "Please tell Cichol that I enjoyed meeting him too." They find themself at a loss for words and feel adrift at the oddity of the situation. Should they just leave? Wait for Seiros to show them out? In one hand they hold their folder. In the other is the Rubik's cube, half-solved. They've given up for now. They want to just go to a bathroom and slam their head against the wall a few times. 

Seiros nods, ignoring or ignorant to Byleth's internal panic. "I will pass that along. I'm sure that he will agree when I say that it was a pleasant surprise and genuine delight to meet you today. I certainly look forward to seeing you in-game as well." The corners of her mouth turn up. "And, of course, this will remain our secret." 

There is nothing Byleth stands to gain by revealing this information to the world, though part of them logically points out that they could get quite a bit of attention from this. It wouldn't be worth it. There's more that they have to gain from talking to Seiros more and hoping that, over time, she remembers facts about Jeralt. Eventually Byleth will understand what the point of the game was for Jeralt. They get the feeling that it's more than simple nostalgia. Surely there must be more to it. 

There's an NPC in the game that's modeled after him, but he hadn't spoken with Seiros in years. He hacked into _Fire Emblem_ to set up an account for Byleth, but never breathed a word of it to them when he was alive — it was barely a side note, a url with a username and password on the last page of a journal Byleth never had to read. 

So no, Byleth's quite certain there's more that they need to learn. But they're also confident that, despite everything, they can recognize a dismissal when they hear one. 

"Hopefully next time I can meet Emeralddragon — Cethleann?" Byleth tries for a smile and lands somewhere between a grimace and a scowl. Seiros nods.

"That is my hope as well. Now come, I will show you out."

#

Felix drags his feet not out of spite or fury, but out of pure exhaustion. His bones feel like lead and his muscles keep twitching with how much they ache. His clothes still stick to him from his sweat — he's never liked showering at the gym and doesn't at all if he can help it, even if that means he has to take a bus and walk ten minutes to his apartment while he smells like utter garbage. 

Yes, he owns a car. No, he doesn't have it with him — he usually leaves it at the apartment in case Sylvain needs it, largely due to the fact that Sylvain is utterly hopeless when it comes to public transportation. At least Felix has memorized the bus schedule. Sylvain still forgets that you can't pay for the bus with a credit card. 

Still, Felix doesn't expect much when he arrives at the apartment. He kicks his shoes off, tosses his gym bag in the living room, and heads for the bedroom so he can grab his pajamas before half-drowning himself in the shower as if that'll wash away the pounding in his head and the slowly mounting pressure that is the realization that his fencing tournament is in a month, his thesis proposal is in two weeks, and he hasn't spoken to his father since the disastrous conversation a while ago. Was it even that long ago? Is his proposal due in two weeks? 

If someone held out a million dollars and asked Felix what day it was, he probably wouldn't guess correctly. He feels like that should be concerning. It isn't, which definitely makes him worry. 

When he opens the door to his bedroom, Sylvain squawks and shuts his laptop with more force than is probably necessary. Felix raises an eyebrow at him. 

"I was watching porn!" Sylvain blurts out, which is a lie because Sylvain would never be embarrassed about watching porn. Not when he's told Felix — and anyone unfortunate enough to possess working ears — plenty of sordid details about his sex life or sexual fantasies. 

That does, however, beg the question as to what could have Sylvain actually blushing. 

"Whatever." Felix doesn't have the brain power to devote to this, so he just goes to the closet and pulls out his pajamas. While he's raiding the bottom of his dresser for clean boxers, Sylvain says,

"I wanted — Did you have time to talk?" 

"Only if you tell me what you were doing," Felix replies, not even looking at Sylvain. His response earns him a long sigh.

Sylvain leans back in his chair. Feeling charitable, Felix doesn't make a joke about how Sylvain should do more than weightlifting at the gym. While Felix trains for a purpose, Sylvain's like any other frat boy trying to build muscle and look like a movie star. Thankfully, Sylvain isn't actually a member of a frat, because Felix might have killed him by now if he was. 

"It was just space stuff that Annette sent me. 'Your sun is a Gemini' or something." He shrugs. "It seemed cool, I guess." 

It's weird enough that Felix wants to believe him, but he also has no idea what the fuck Sylvain is talking about. 

"So, can we talk now?" Sylvain continues. Felix is the one to shrug this time. "Hey, Fe, will you look at me?" There's a dip in Sylvain's voice, a slight strangle to his inflection. Felix glances behind himself and sees a careful face of nothing looking back. 

That's weird enough that Felix straightens up, facing Sylvain and looking at him the best that he can manage. Felix crosses his arms as he leans against the dresser, his pajamas loosely held in one hand. 

"What's going on?" Felix asks slowly.

Sylvain opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. "I'm bi." 

The words reach Felix's ears but they don't seem to process. He feels himself frown out of confusion more than anything. 

"What?" 

"I'm bisexual." Sylvain waves a hand in the air. "You know, like — like Ashe." The _or you_ goes unstated. 

"Okay." Felix realizes, in a moment of rare self-reflection at the right time, that he's being an ass. "Thanks for telling me." 

Sylvain gives Felix a wry smile. "It seemed right." He rubs the back of his neck. "Wow, I've been trying to tell you for like. A month."

Maybe Felix should feel bad about that, should think about why his closest friend would have such a fear when telling him something perfectly ordinary, but instead Felix just calls him an idiot. Sylvain laughs. Though the conversation is heavy, the sound is light and lifts Felix's heart just a little in a way that he quickly does not examine in detail. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Sylvain doesn’t sound too upset about it. “But yeah. I like — I like girls and guys. And I guess nonbinary people, but I only know Byleth and that’d be weird.”

“I guess,” Felix parrots back. He runs a hand over the fabric of his pajamas. “How long have you known?" He winces. "You don’t have to answer that.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I… I think I’ve known for a while. I just didn’t want to admit it.” 

Felix understands. He doesn’t need to tell Sylvain that because Sylvain already knows. Sylvain eyes him with that frustratingly closed off expression. Usually, Felix is confident in his estimations of Sylvain’s moods. Right now, he can’t get a single thing from his face. Felix almost wants to snap at him, but that would be unfair. Not right now, of all times, when Sylvain is telling him this.

Though, thinking about it… 

“Have you told anyone else?” Felix asks. Sylvain shakes his head. _Oh._ “Do you want to keep it a secret for now?”

Sylvain sighs deep in his chest. He throws his hands up. “I don’t know. I don’t think anyone will care, but it just — it’s weird.”

“Yeah.” Felix tries to keep himself from saying anything stupid like _Then why did you tell me_ or _What were you actually doing on your laptop_ because that seems too confrontational. 

He almost laughs at himself. Since when did he start thinking of things as too confrontational? He thrives off conflict. Him versus the world — that’s easy. Lines get drawn, sides chosen, and he knows exactly what he’s supposed to do. It’s not that he’s evil or hates people, but he likes having an _Us versus Them._ Maybe that does make him evil, but Felix is at least up front about how he feels about someone. 

For example, Sylvain is both the biggest idiot and the best man Felix knows. 

“It doesn’t change anything between us,” Felix says simply, because at the end of the day Sylvain is Sylvain. If Felix now has to expect him to fawn over men as well as women, well, he can deal with it. Surely it can’t be _that_ much worse. 

“It doesn’t?” Sylvain clears his throat. “I mean, of course it doesn’t. I’m glad.” 

“Why would it change anything?” Felix raises an eyebrow. “Did you forget that I’m trans? That I’m also bisexual? That our friends are pretty much every color on the stupid rainbow flag?” 

“No, just—” Sylvain waves a hand. “I don’t know what I expected. It’s not like I’ve come out before!” He groans. “Is it always this hard?” Felix doesn’t quite know what to say to that, and Sylvain doesn’t give him much of a choice, continuing on ahead. “It just seems stupid, almost. All that time trying to tell myself I was only into girls, that guys were whatever, or that I’m just lying to myself and liking guys for the attention, and I finally figure it out. But I can’t even just call myself gay or straight, no, I have to — I have to be weird and pick both.”

“Do you think I’m weird?” Felix asks.

“I mean—”

“Because I’m bi. Or trans.”

Sylvain shakes his head. “Never.” He’s deadly serious. Felix resists the urge to squirm with that gaze on him. He decides the best course of action is to change the focus of the conversation. 

“Then you aren’t weird either. Don’t get caught up in your head. Nothing good ever happens in there anyways.” Felix means it to be cruel enough to distract, to shift the talk to grounds he’s more comfortable on, but Sylvain’s always been too calm to really rile up the way Felix can do with anyone else. Sylvain’s smile proves that once more.

“Whatever you think, Fe.” Sylvain leans back, his chair creaking ominously. “You’re right. I should just tell the others during raid night or something.”

Felix snorts and cracks his own smile. “Wait, let me get my phone — can’t let the world not know that Sylvain Jose Gautier _agrees_ with me.” 

Sylvain flips him off. Felix takes it as the end of the conversation and starts to head to the bathroom. It’s genuinely touching to know that Sylvain trusts him and feels comfortable enough to talk to him about these sorts of things, though now that Felix thinks about it, he shouldn’t be surprised. They’ve known each other for how long? Practically as long as Felix has been alive. And Sylvain was the first person Felix ever came out to…

“Hey, Felix?” 

“Yeah?” Felix glances over his shoulder, locking eyes with Sylvain in a rare moment of confidence and comfort. 

“Thanks for not being weird about me liking guys.”

Felix rolls his eyes. “Why would I be weird about it?”

“Because you’re a guy?” Sylvain ducks his head, chuffing a bit. “It sounds stupid now that I say it aloud.”

“Because it is stupid.” Felix can’t help but smirk. “If you’re trying to say that you have a crush on me, Gautier, then you should just say it.” 

Sylvain laughs. “Maybe I will.” Those simple words make Felix’s heart twist. He can feel his eyes burn as he looks away, words curling in his throat and leaving his mouth dry. 

He decides the best course of action is to leave — better a strategic retreat than a risky maneuver, something that could strike him down like a rabid dog without care or concern. Felix doesn’t hear if Sylvain says anything else. Doesn’t care to know.

Felix does his best to drown himself in the shower because that’s preferable to thinking. It doesn’t work. Thankfully, by the time he’s done and his hair is damp rather than soaked, Sylvain’s laying in bed listening to music on his phone. His earbuds are in and the soft blue glow of the screen is the only light in the room. Felix resolutely does not stare, does not let his eyes even linger, instead getting into his own bed. 

He was exhausted when he got home, but now he can’t relax enough to sleep. Sheer stubbornness is the only thing stopping him from turning in his bed. Confusion and a bit of fear stop him from asking Sylvain _What the fuck did you mean?_

Sleep doesn’t come until the blue light goes out. 

#

It's cold. Dimitri is from Faerghus, so that's normal. But he doesn't like it. 

He's sitting in his living room and staring at the television. Dedue has been asleep for awhile, but he's resting in Dimitri's room and not the couch. It's a comfortable couch, but it's not that big. 

Of course, Dedue had offered for Dimitri to sleep with him. Not in a sexual way, but just to be in the same room and cuddle if Dimitri wanted. Only, Dimitri feels like his skin is crawling and he has a half-strangled scream lodged in his throat, so he declined. He promised Dedue that he was fine, just restless, so he'd stay and watch some television.

Dimitri and Dedue had that conversation three hours ago. It's two in the morning. The television is playing rerun after rerun of some sitcom from a few years ago. He's not sure of the plot, only that the soft noise and the laugh track don't quite do enough to drown out the voices in his head. 

_You're going to ruin everything,_ one whispers. _You can't create a life. You don't deserve happiness. You're a monster. A beast. A boar._ It sounds a bit like Felix, except it's been a while since Felix has ever been this hostile. They've been doing better, slowly repairing their friendship. 

This is worse than Felix, because it's coming from all around Dimitri. Left, right, behind — inside. 

_You don't deserve Dedue. You don't deserve any of your friends. Why do you even bother with them? You're going to die soon._

_You're going to die soon._

"Shut up," Dimitri growls, clinging tighter to the throw pillow in his hands. "Go away. 

"No," a voice says. "You cannot shut us out, boy. You need to face your mistakes. Face the consequences of your actions. Join us." Lambert — father — reaches out and wraps a hand around Dimitri's throat. He can still breathe, but the cold grasp makes every blood drop turn to ice and it _burns_ inside. 

"I'm s—sorry," Dimitri stammers, his single eye wide with panic as Stepmother and Glenn step out of the shadows. They're in the worst state, almost entirely alive but rotten to the core. Their bodies are whole, but the smell of putrid flesh and the sound of flies feasting is one that Dimitri will never forget. 

"You should have died," Glenn says.

"The only survivor must face his end," his stepmother agrees. 

"Join us," Lambert repeats. 

_They're louder… clearer… closer,_ Dimitri thinks. He wants to move away, but the hand around his throat tightens even at the thought. Glenn is smearing blood on the carpet. Stepmother is dripping rot as she stands there. Her hair is falling out in chunks. Her face is gaunt and her eyes sunken husks picked at by carrion, but Dimitri can still feel her stare pierce him. His chest is tight and he’s not sure if it’s because of the hand around his neck or the unbearable weight surrounding him.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

He hunches over as far as he can. His shoulders are shaking. His face is wet. He can still see them even when he squeezes his eye shut. Their visages are impressions against his eyelids, nightmares that haunt him whenever he is foolish enough to sleep. He feels wound so tight that just the slightest turn more will cause him to snap into a million pieces — and isn’t that just what he deserves? He’s been living on borrowed time. It’ll eventually run out.

Maybe it has run out. 

“You should be dead,” Lambert intones, voice dropping low. “You should be dead.”

“I — I know,” Dimitri gasps. “I’m sorry. I — I should be dead. I should be dead. I should die.” He flinches when a hand touches his face. It’s cold. It’s so cold. His blood has stopped in his body. His teeth clatter. Glenn caresses his face like a forlong lover. His fingers have been worn to the bone but Dimitri still leans into it, silently begging for Glenn to end this once and for all. 

“You watched me die,” Glenn murmurs, deceptively soft. “Why didn’t you help me?” 

“I tried!” Dimitri pleads. “I wanted to help. I — I was trapped, Glenn. I couldn’t have moved. I couldn’t help.” 

“You should have tried!” The words come from Stepmother, but it’s Glenn’s voice. Dimitri’s never bothered trying to make sense of his delusions. There’s no point. 

_What am I supposed to do?_ He wants to scream. _I didn’t ask to live. I didn’t want to leave you behind!_

“I will cherish your memories,” Dimitri says. “I will return to you soon, Father—”

“You abandoned us!” Glenn screams. Dimitri jerks back in shock, his back hitting the couch. A spasm of pain shoots up his spine and his vision temporarily goes white. 

He blinks stars out of his eyes and, when his vision is clear, Glenn is the only vision left. That’s the thing — Dimitri _knows_ they can’t be real because no one else sees them. Because his medications, for all his continued symptoms and the side-effects, have been helping. But that doesn’t matter, because they’re real enough to him.

“You left us to die.” Glenn kneels down so he can stare into Dimitri’s one remaining eye. “You don’t even think about us. It’s been almost seven years. When will you remember us?”

“I — I _do,_” Dimitri pleads.

“No,” Glenn sneers, “I don’t think you do. You’re happy with someone who you don’t deserve. You’re dragging him down with you. You’re dragging all of them down with you.”

“Dimitri?” Another voice calls. Dimitri stops breathing.

_No,_ he thinks. _Please, no. Don’t come out, don’t see me like this—_

Glenn scoffs and he looks far too much like Felix, sounds too much like Felix. “You should be dead,” Glenn says. Dimitri expects him to say _boar._ It’s worse when he says nothing as Dedue walks into Dimitri’s field of vision.

Dedue’s in grey-white pajamas, his hair a mess, and he looks down at Dimitri with an unreadable expression.

“Don’t… Don’t look at me,” Dimitri murmurs.

“Dimitri…” Dedue kneels down, going through Glenn in the process. “It’s me. It’s your Dedue.” He doesn’t try to touch Dimitri, though his eyes scan Dimitri for any injuries. Dimitri thinks he’s unharmed. His back is sore and he’s shivering, but that can’t be helped. “Can I touch you?”

Hesitation. Dimitri doesn’t want to break in Dedue’s hands. He doesn’t want to make Dedue suffer anymore than he already has. 

Sensing that Dimitri doesn’t want touch, Dedue leans back so that Dimitri has more space. Sometime in the last few moments, Glenn has stepped back so he’s only a pair of glowing eyes in the shadows of the apartment. Dedue follows where Dimitri’s line of sight is and, seeing nothing there, frowns. Dimitri opens his mouth to explain, but Dedue already knows. 

Dedue takes his time standing, letting Dimitri see every movement and track his steps towards the light switch. It’s temporarily blinding, but after the initial shock, Dimitri sees that Glenn has retreated. There aren’t even any marks left on the floor. 

He breathes a soft sigh of relief. Dedue returns, a gentle smile not quite enough to conceal the fear in his eyes. 

"It's just me, Dimitri," he says. 

"I know." 

Dedue pauses, turning his words over in his head like a baker kneading a piece of dough. "Do you wish to talk about it?" 

"No." Dimitri bites his lip hard enough to draw blood. Dedue reaches out, only to stop when Dimitri flinches away. "Sorry," Dimitri murmurs.

"No, I am sorry. I should have asked." Dedue puts his hand back down. It hangs limply by his side. Dimitri has to look away before he starts seeing Dedue's corpse again. "May I sit by you?" It takes a moment, but Dimitri nods. 

Dedue takes his place by Dimitri's side. The couch is just big enough so that they do not touch, but Dedue remains close enough that Dimitri can still feel the warmth rolling off his skin. Dimitri doesn't know how long they sit there, only that Dedue is watching him the whole time. The television plays an infomercial about spoons. Dimitri prefers it over the laugh track. 

"I'm sorry," he says after too much time has passed. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for." And oh, but to be as certain as Dedue sounds! 

"I ruined your night. I'm ruining your life." Dimitri rubs at his eyes. He stopped crying a while ago, but he's still covered in the signs of his weakness. 

Dedue shakes his head. "You saved me. You are the cause of so much good, my love. I would be a worse man without you." 

"I should be dead." Dimitri leans back against the couch. His lungs ache. He wonders if he'll die tomorrow or if he still has to endure another year of torment. "I should be happy. I have wealth. I have friends. I have a loving boyfriend who is attractive and kind. But still, these demons — they torture me." He closes his eye. "A better man would not be haunted as I am. I deserve nothing that I own. I am worthless." 

Dedue frowns. "Do you truly believe that?" He asks, though surely he must know the answer. 

"I should be better than this. I don't deserve — I don't deserve your sympathy. Not with what I've done to you. What I continue to do." 

"And how are you ruining my life?"

Dimitri leaps to his feet. "Because I'm cruel! Because I demand your attention. Because you could be so much more and yet here you are, trapped with me." He cannot bring himself to look at Dedue with hate because such a thing is unthinkable, but he does glare at the floor beneath Dedue's feet. "I am a blackhole, Dedue. I consume and destroy and never give back. You — I cannot understand how you look at me that way." 

"Which way?" 

"With — with love!" _Because a beast does not know love,_ Dimitri wants to scream. _And if I am a boar, then I am a beast and no beast knows love._

"Because I love you." And when Dedue says it like that, like declaring the existence of light or gravity or that Felix hates sweets and Sylvain is a flirt, then there is no room for argument. "I love every part of you. Even the ugly parts. Even the parts you hate." 

"But how?" Dimitri could rip his hair, tear out his other eye — but he doesn't. He can feel his nails digging into the skin on his arms and it isn't until Dedue stands and gently takes his hands in his that Dimitri realizes that he drew blood. "I am… nothing. You are — you are irreplaceable." 

Dedue shakes his head even as he smiles. "You are the one who is irreplaceable, my love." He presses a soft kiss to Dimitri's cheek. He doesn't seem to mind the dried tears. "I look at you and see a man who cares so much that it is tearing him apart, yet the one person you do not care for is yourself. So someone must tend to you, must help nurture you and love you the way you do not. One day, then, you will see why I am here for you. Until then, I shall care for you." 

Dimitri sniffs, finding himself crying for different reasons all together. "You deserve so much better," he says.

"Then become this better person," Dedue replies. "If you wish for me to be with someone better, and if my wish is to be with you, then the only alternative is to become that person." 

"I — I understand." Dimitri kisses Dedue. "I love you. I know that you cannot solve all of my problems, but I — I will endeavor to conquer them with you." 

"That is all I can ask." Dedue tugs Dimitri close, wrapping his arms tight around him. Dedue is warm. Dimitri likes being warm. 

"Dedue?" He whispers after a moment. Dedue does not say anything, only letting a deep rumble of acknowledgement escape his throat. "I love you." 

"And I love you." 

_I will be a better person,_ Dimitri thinks, _because that is who Dedue deserves._ And, some small part of him adds, because if Dedue can care for him, then maybe Dimitri can find that in himself as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the third section, Dimitri sees his father, stepmother, and Glenn as rotting corpses. They harass him and tell him that he's selfish for staying alive and Glenn specifically accuses him of abandoning Glenn to die. Both Lambert and Glenn physically touch Dimitri, who begins to panic. This attracts Dedue's attention -- Dedue being asleep in the other room -- and Dedue comes to investigate.
> 
> With Dedue's presence, Dimitri begins to calm down. However, Dimitri feels guilty and tells Dedue that he deserves better and expresses how he, Dimitri, shouldn't even be alive. Dedue reassures Dimitri that he loves him and says that if Dimitri truly thinks that Dedue should be with someone better, he should aim to become that better person since Dedue wants to be with Dimitri. The two kiss and Dimitri promises to try to be better both for Dedue and himself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Took a bit off because life got in the way, but I hope you all accept this slightly late chapter. 
> 
> Slight warning for brief and nondescript mentions of child neglect/implied abuse. 
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy!

Byleth stares at their computer. The monitor shows Garreg Mach, busy avatars running across the screen or interacting with NPCs or trying to trade with others. The worldchat is flying by — if there are any messages in the guild, then Byleth can't see them. The Jeralt NPC is off to the right, not on screen so that they don't have to see people talking to the AI that looks like their father. 

The other day, they finally put a picture of Jeralt on their desk. It had been there before he died, but it had been too painful for them to look at for a long time. After their conversation with Seiros, Byleth had put it back up. Now, their eyes fall on it. 

Jeralt's smiling, an arm around Byleth who has just graduated with their masters. The sun is making Jeralt squint, though Byleth's silly hat is actually helping them out for once. Even though it was a few years ago, Byleth can still remember the day. They had spent most of the time borderline overwhelmed, but their father was so excited that they had stuck it all out for his sake. 

Byleth doesn't remember who took the photo, but they think it was some poor random person their father stopped. It took the better part of ten minutes — multiple redoes, Jeralt insisting on getting new angles, and Byleth had started dying from embarrassment about five seconds in. 

There's not a lot of pictures of the two of them together. Byleth never liked photos. They're glad they have the one. 

They wonder if Seiros has any pictures of her mother. Should Byleth send the picture they have to her? They have her phone number now… 

_ I still don't know who her mother is,  _ Byleth thought.  _ Where does Sothis come into all of this? _

A heavy sigh escapes them. Their journal is full of more information than ever before, but their head feels just as empty. Should they ask Seiros more? Press for answers to questions they barely even know exist? 

Or would that be crossing a line that they don't even know exist? 

_ Social situations are the worst, _ Byleth thinks. While their fingers itch to text Seiros, they instead find themselves looking at their friend’s list. Emeralddragon isn’t on, hasn’t been for a few days. Byleth can’t actually remember the last time they spoke together, which… Is both odd and not odd. It’s not like they’re close, but they thought that the few conversations they did share went well.

They send a message anyways, just a simple  _ Hi, I hope you’re doing well! _ that she’ll be able to read once she does log back on. The game doesn’t have read receipts, which is both a blessing and a curse. Byleth just hopes that Cichol doesn’t disapprove of them talking to his sister. Or is it his daughter? Seiros said something about that, but Byleth was a little preoccupied… 

Sighing, Byleth leans back. They tap a nonsense pattern on their desk as their eyes roam over the scuffed wooden surface. Innocently, a simple USB drive sits by the journal. 

_ I thought I got rid of that. _ Clearly, that was never done. 

_ Don’t try it. Don’t use it. Burn it. Crush it. Destroy it. _

Their father’s last request. But what could be on it? Before, they thought it was just an odd request. Now, knowing about his past… How he had not only been good with computers, but good enough to keep his actions hidden in a game that was constantly being updated… 

It’s the last clue. If they can’t ask Seiros for answers, then this has to be it. Surely Jeralt wouldn’t have given them a puzzle without all the pieces?

They stop a second before plugging it into their own computer.

Frowning, they set the USB drive aside. They tab out of  _ Fire Emblem _ and open up Eris. It only takes a moment to get their private chat with Ashe. 

_ Byleth: Hey, Ashe. When you have a moment, may I request a favor? _

_ arrowguy1017: Sure, what’s up? _

_ Byleth: You mentioned a few days ago that you have a friend who knows computers. I was wondering if I could get their opinion on something.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I guess? What’s the question? _

_ Byleth: I have a USB drive that has something important on it, but I don’t want to worry about it hurting my computer. What should I do? _

_ arrowguy1017: Is this a hypothetical or do you actually have a USB drive from an unknown source? _

_ Byleth: I know where it’s from, I just am uncertain of the contents. _

_ arrowguy1017: Uh, okay.  _

_ arrowguy1017: Is it like… you don’t want people to be able to track you down with it or you think it might have a virus? _

_ Byleth: … I suppose a virus would be the closest comparison. _

_ arrowguy1017: Do I want to know why you have this? _

_ arrowguy1017: You ARE a teacher, right? _

_ Byleth: Yes.  _

_ Byleth: My father left it for me with a few instructions.  _

_ arrowguy1017: Oh. _

_ arrowguy1017: I’m sorry to bring it up again. _

_ Byleth: I asked.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I guess. _

_ arrowguy1017: Okay, hm, I think that the best thing to do would be to plug it into something you don’t mind losing for a bit in case there are viruses? Then you can clean the hard drive or whatever if you need.  _

_ Byleth: I think it has to do with Fire Emblem. _

_ arrowguy1017: I knew there was a reason you weren’t messaging me in game. _

_ arrowguy1017: Why would a USB drive that your father gave you be related at all to the game? _

_ arrowguy1017: Am I going to regret asking?  _

_ Byleth: I recently found out that my father used to work for Fire Emblem. I do not know the exact capacity, but his letter and a few other things make me think that this is related.  _

_ arrowguy1017: There’s no chance this just has some baby photos or something? _

_ Byleth: We weren’t a big photo family. _

_ arrowguy1017: Of course, that would be too easy… _

_ arrowguy1017: Okay, don’t plug it into your computer. Go to one of those computer stores and use that. Just take it off the Internet before you do so that any issues are localized.  _

_ Byleth: How do I take something off the Internet?  _

_ Byleth: Ashe? Was it something I said? _

_ arrowguy1017: Are you SURE you want to do this?  _

_ arrowguy1017: Genesis Systems is a major company. They might be small, but they are mighty.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, and I know I’m just a stupid college student, but…  _

_ arrowguy1017: Just make sure that you aren’t picking a fight that you can’t win. _

_ Byleth: I appreciate your concern, Ashe, but this isn’t a fight. _

_ Byleth: I’m investigating and this is the last clue. _

_ arrowguy1017: What are you investigating?  _

_ Byleth: It’s complicated. _

_ Byleth: I wouldn’t know how to explain it and make you believe me.  _

_ arrowguy1017: You don’t have to tell me. We’ve only known each other for a few months, but I trust you. _

_ arrowguy1017: Please be careful, Byleth. _

_ Byleth: I will.  _

_ Byleth: You are a good friend, Ashe. I’m glad to know you. _

_ arrowguy1017: And I’m happy to know you, but let’s not make it sound like we’re never going to talk again, okay? _

_ Byleth: Okay. I’ll talk to you later :) _

_ arrowguy1017: I’ll hold you to that.  _

#

“Hi, just let one of us know if you need any help,” the greeter at the entrance to the store says before Byleth’s eyes can even adjust from the afternoon sun to the comparatively dim fluorescent bulbs. “There’s currently our fall sale going on, so there’s up to thirty percent off almost anything in the store. If—”

Byleth walks away before the clerk can say anything else. They have headphones on but no music, which is fairly normal for when they have to go visit big stores. The USB drive feels like a solid weight in their coat pocket and they keep running their fingers over it, twisting and turning the little plastic rectangle around. 

_ Where are the laptop displays? _ They wonder. They squint up at the signs that dangle from the ceiling, but it’s hard to focus. After a moment of wandering — dodging away from a few different sales clerks, whom Byleth knows are just doing their jobs but make them anxious every time — they finally find themself by the laptops.

The only other person is a middle-aged man who is getting help from someone who could have been in Byleth’s lecture on Monday. Neither are paying any attention to Byleth, which is just how they like it. 

The USB drive comes out of their pocket and they plug it into the computer before they can think too much about it. 

Nothing happens for a moment. Then, a prompt asks Byleth what they want to do. 

Squinting at the screen, they decide to open the folder. It pops up with a number of other folders, all labeled with names like  _ File 9313 _ or  _ Class.exe _ which means absolutely nothing to Byleth. Even digging into some of the folders just pulls up more files and subfolders with increasingly confusing names. 

They can tell this is all something to do with programming and, if they had to put money on it, they’d say it has to do with  _ Fire Emblem _ . But that’s all they can tell. No answers. No notes to Byleth. No pictures.

It’s hard to not feel a bit bitter. What was the point of all this if Jeralt wasn’t going to give them answers? Did Byleth miss something? What if the problem is not with the answers but with the questions — perhaps they are unable to move forward because of their own lack of ability.

Maybe they’ve failed this final task in more ways than one.

_ Run program? _

Byleth looks at the screen. They must have double-clicked something, because the prompt sits in front of them. An innocuous grey window with only two options, the rest of the screen refuses to be clicked. Byleth should hit  _ No _ . They have no idea what they’re allowing to run. They have no idea what this will do. This isn’t even their laptop. 

They hit  _ Yes _ . 

Every single file in the USB drive opens and Byleth can see over a hundred files start to play at the same time. They realize, rather belatedly, that they forgot to take the laptop off of the Internet. 

When their phone buzzes, they’re somehow not surprised to see a text from Seiros. Another from Ashe arrives not a moment later. Some part of Byleth thinks it’s ironic that both messages read  _ Was that you? _

Byleth texts Seiros that they’ll be at the Genesis Systems office in twenty minutes. 

#

This time, there’s no waiting at the front. Seiros sees them in immediately, leading them this time to what must be her office. It’s bigger and has more natural light, but is void of personal touches so it feels more cold than Cichol’s did. Seiros is much less composed than last time, though by the way her phone is ringing from the moment the door opens, Byleth understands.

Seiros mutes her phone, sends one last text to someone, and then looks at Byleth. She doesn’t sit. She doesn’t blink. 

“What did you do?” Seiros asks. Byleth had decided, in the car, to tell the truth. It’s easier thought than done.

“I was exploring this. It ran unexpectedly.” A lie. “It began to open different files and must have managed to affect the game.” A truth. “I don’t know what’s on it.” Also true. 

Seiros frowns as Byleth takes out the USB drive. Byleth holds it out. 

“It was among my father’s belongings. He told me to destroy it, but I… couldn’t.” Byleth can’t even blame it on mere curiosity, not unless they are willing to throw everything else they’ve done in the last few months under something as simple as  _ curiosity _ . No, that is too simple. What they feel is more than that. 

“May I see that?” Seiros asks. Byleth hands it over.

“What happened to the game?” They tuck their hands in their pockets. It feels better than having them empty and dangling in the air. 

Seiros sighs and doesn’t answer at first. She picks her phone up and dials a number. “Cichol, please come to my office. Thank you.” She hangs up before a conversation can happen. Byleth stands there like a log, unwilling to move and uncertain of what to say. Seiros glances at them. “You had a question?”

Byleth unsticks their tongue from the top of their mouth. “What happened to the game?” The repeat. 

“Simply put, you updated it.” Seiros waves the USB drive in the air. “Whatever was on this forced a complete update to everything in the game. To most people, it looks like the game is closed for maintenance. We’re telling people there was a hotpatch that uploaded improperly. But that is only the very surface of what happened.”

“Tell me everything,” Byleth says, not because they care about the technological aspect of it all but because if they don’t know what was on the USB drive they may go insane. 

Seiros nods slowly. “It is complicated, but I will do my best. All games are made up of code. Some are more complex than others. This drive had hundreds and thousands of lines of code in compressed files. When you opened one, it opened a chain reaction. The code used the internet to get into our servers and push an update through.”

“You say an update, but I don’t understand. This is old. How could it change anything in the game?” Byleth frowns slightly. “Why does it always come back to the game?” They wonder aloud. If Seiros finds their comment odd, she doesn’t say anything. 

“Frankly, the code Jeralt used is a mystery to me. It shouldn’t affect the game in the slightest. We’ll use this drive to see what he did and fix it. The game will have to be down for a little while, but it can be fixed.” 

“We don’t know what he changed?” Byleth wonders if they can try to keep the changes, if there’s even a point. Maybe it’s not playable with Jeralt’s code. Maybe it’s better. Maybe it’s just an old project that he never finished, entirely unrelated to the other mysteries that surround Byleth. 

Maybe Byleth should have quit while they were ahead. 

“I do not know for certain, but I have ideas.” Seiros coughs lightly. “My apologies. Regardless, if the code interferes with the game then it will have to be removed, no matter how tedious the process is.”

“I understand.” Byleth doesn’t, not really, but this is something they don’t have very much knowledge on. They read papers on history for work and they researched AI after talking with Hanneman, but actual programming? That’s different. “May I ask something else?”

“Yes, but I must apologize — I do not have nearly as much time as I did previously. Please be quick.”

“When you are done, can you tell me about the code?” 

Seiros’s eyes widen, then close as she smiles and nods. “Of course. I wish I could tell you more now.” 

There’s a knock on her door before it opens. Cichol enters, looking about as frazzled as Seiros is now. He blinks at Byleth before looking at Seiros.

“You asked for me?” 

“Yes. This is the code that was just uploaded. I believe you can go through it with some of the others and isolate anything that needs to be removed.” Seiros tilts her head. “Actually, Cichol may be able to answer your question.”

“What’s the question?” Cichol asks. 

“Byleth would like to know what was in the code.”

Cichol grimaces. He looks at Seiros and they do that annoying, neurotypical thing where they have a whole conversation without opening their mouths. Byleth feels the edge of a stress scream come up, starting in their stomach and rolling through their spine like some kind of shitty muscle memory. 

Whatever the two discuss, Cichol eventually opens his mouth again. “We aren’t one hundred percent sure, but… It looks like it has to do with Sothis.” 

Apparently this was not communicated well, because Seiros drops the USB drive. Byleth picks it up and holds it out to her. She just blinks. They end up handing it to Cichol. He nods and pockets it. 

“We… are still figuring it out, but it appears that the code that we thought we lost was just… here.” He looks between Byleth and Seiros.  _ Lost code? _ Byleth wonders if there’s a point in asking. “Is there anything else you need from me?” 

“No.” Seiros’s voice is steady though their eyes are far away. “Do not delete a single line of code without me looking at it. Make sure of that.”

“I understand. Would you like me to make a backup?” 

“Of course not.” Seiros makes it sound like such a silly question, but Byleth thought it was normal enough. Cichol frowns. Seiros lets out a soft sigh. “My apologies. I am simply — there’s a lot on my mind. Cichol, I will talk with you more about this later. Can you please show Byleth out for me?” 

Cichol nods. He holds the door open for Byleth to leave. 

The two are silent for a moment, but as much as Byleth hates conversation they know that they can’t let this opportunity pass. Especially not when they feel like any good will Seiros may have had for them is gone. They wonder if Ashe will be furious at them. Knowing Ashe, he’s just concerned.

“I thought you did HR,” Byleth says. Cichol nods slowly. “But you know coding?”

“When Genesis Systems began, we all had to know everything. I have… changed positions a few times.” 

“How did Genesis Systems begin?” Byleth wants to know what Cichol will say, if he’ll mention the Nabatean Company at all. 

“Seiros, her mother, and I left the Nabatean Company after… Creative differences.” Cichol says  _ creative differences _ the way someone might describe the death of a family member. “We founded Genesis Systems. By that point, most of our compatriots from the Nabatean Company had been driven out of the industry due to overwork, lack of compensation, and… other things. I suppose it would not be incorrect to say that the Nabatean Company, which started as a place for developers to build something together on equal footing with those who ran the company, became a place where people’s careers went to die.” 

Byleth isn’t sure what they can say to that. 

“It sounds like more than creative differences,” they settle on. Cichol nods.

“Yes, it was.” He doesn’t look like he’s going to say anything else, so Byleth continues. They feel emboldened by the fact that Cichol, despite his earlier reticence, answered the question easily. 

“There’s an NPC in the game named Sothis. You mentioned her earlier. Why would my father have code relating to her?” 

Cichol stops walking. Someone passes them in the hall, nodding to Cichol but still moving forward. Byleth almost runs into Cichol and has to press themself against the wall to not collide with the stranger. Once the person is gone, Cichol still doesn’t move. 

“I am sorry,” Byleth says mostly out of habit. “Did I say something wrong?” They don’t quite expect Cichol to turn towards a door, open it and, after flicking on the lights, invite Byleth in with him. 

There’s a circular table with four chairs and a potted plant in the corner. There’s a single window that has frosted glass over it so light can come in but they can’t see out. Cichol begins to pace back and forth while Byleth stands there watching. 

“Sothis is the name of Seiros’s mother. Sothis passed away before  _ Fire Emblem _ could finish. Seiros took it… hard. In many ways, it was Sothis who encouraged Seiros to become a game developer, who wanted to bring happiness to people and connect them regardless of distance, age, gender — nothing matters when you’re behind a computer screen. Seiros took that to heart. That’s why it was so difficult when the Nabatean Company, which Seiros joined under her mother’s guidance, became so… corrupt. Evil, even, or at least as evil as a video game company can be.

“After Sothis died, Seiros changed. She became obsessed. Nothing mattered other than finishing the game and making it perfect. But that wasn’t it. She also wanted to add in new elements, to create more in this world. She wanted to add Sothis into the game.”

“Which is the Sothis I know,” Byleth assumes. Cichol hesitates. “Or not?”

“It’s complicated,” he admits.

“All of this is very complicated,” they agree. They wait for Cichol to gather his thoughts. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before settling with, 

“Sothis was an NPC was an idea that Seiros brought up a few times. I told her that it was impossible, that we should do something different to remember her mother. Still, she’s brilliant at what she does and she did make a few practice scripts… When speaking with the AI, it was just like speaking to Sothis. I thought it was fascinating. Your father disagreed.”

“My father?” Byleth echoed. 

“Yes. Jeralt was primarily in charge of our security, but he was talented and, frankly, wasted on firewalls and stopping Aegir horses. We sought his input on many things. It was only natural Seiros asked him about the AI for Sothis.”

“But Sothis isn’t properly in the game. I am the only one who seems to know who she is. Even Emeralddragon — your, um—” Byleth isn’t quite sure how to refer to Cethleann, if they’re still supposed to pretend that she doesn’t know they’re related.

“My daughter, yes.” Cichol frowns. “Sothis didn’t make it into the game originally because the code to really flesh her out, to make her a fully functioning AI beyond the basic scripting Seiros did, was lost. At least, we thought it was.”

A terrible realization crashes over Byleth. They swallow. Cichol stops pacing in favor of looking at them directly.

“Your father left the company and he took that code with him. We thought, for years, that it was deleted. That Sothis wasn’t in the game at all. Then you came and asked questions about them and interacted with that first sprite that Seiros made so long ago. That is why Seiros was interested in you at first.”

Byleth sits down on the ground. Their head  _ thunks _ against the wall in a dull tone. Cichol crosses his arms. He doesn’t seem mad, but Byleth wouldn’t be the one to tell. 

“It appears that he never destroyed the code. Why, I am not sure. And why it activated so simply when you ran some commands on a USB drive, I will have to investigate.” Cichol sighs. “But that is what happened.” 

Something still doesn’t feel right and it slowly dawns on Byleth as they think about AI and what they’ve read, about Hanneman and his projects. “Why not make new code?” They ask. “Hanneman can do it. Seiros could. It cannot be that difficult.”

“Anyone can make code. But infusing it with something akin to life… That is much harder.” Cichol swallows. “Seiros thinks that creating an AI program is to create a new soul, almost. It would be almost sacrilegious to just make another program like Sothis after what happened. She almost didn’t implement Jeralt into the game at all, but…”

“But what?” Byleth is surprised with how low their own voice sounds. Cichol hesitates. “That — that is my father. Please, Cichol.”

“It is not your father. It is an animation that looks like him and speaks like him. But it is not him.” Cichol turns away, his eyes tracing invisible patterns on the basic tan walls. “I believe that Seiros hoped to attract your father back to the project, that perhaps he would help resolve what happened with Sothis. I know she is truly sorry for losing touch with him, especially since your mother died right before he left.” 

Something occurs to Byleth. “Did you know my mother?” They ask. Cichol nods. “But she’s not in the game. Did Seiros…?”

“She tried. Your father, to the best of my knowledge, told her to stop. There’s never been any other attempts made.”

Byleth isn’t sure if they’re disappointed or not. They don’t remember their mother. Maybe that’s a good thing, but sometimes they wish they did. 

“So Jeralt and Sothis are the only AIs that were made?” Byleth asks for confirmation. Cichol hesitates once more. This time, Byleth waits. 

“Cethleann… got into an accident a few years ago. She was playing in the park with her babysitter and a few other children. She fell off a piece of climbing equipment.”

Byleth feels their blood run cold. Even though they may not be the best socially, guilt hits them right in the gut. “I — I am so sorry—”

“Oh, no!” Cichol’s eyes widen. “She is still alive, but — she is in a coma. She has been for the last four years.”

“The game is only five years old,” Byleth says. 

“She was able to play some of the beta, since I allowed her limited access… I thought it would be something we could do together, something that she could hold onto and help understand why her father worked such long hours.” Cichol doesn’t say anything about her mother. Byleth doesn’t ask. They have their own experience with a single father and, though they would never hold it against Jeralt, they had spent many years feeling lonely and wishing to be like other children.

Then again, maybe that was just because they were different. Always were and always would be. 

“After my daughter was injured, I agreed to let Seiros create an AI for her. At first, I told myself that it would be a way to test new changes and keep her account active. Then, as the years went by…” Cichol sighs, hanging his head. “I suppose it has gotten a little out of hand. It’s just… difficult. I can pretend that she’s okay as long as I only see her in game. But when I go to the hospital…”

Byleth doesn’t know what to say. Cichol doesn’t seem to know where to go next. 

It’s silent. 

Someone laughs as they walk down the hall. Byleth stares up at Cichol. He doesn’t meet their gaze. 

“Is that why you were so concerned when Cethleann was in Zanado?” Byleth finally asks. Cichol blinks a few times as he catches Byleth’s gaze. They instantly look away towards the table. Cichol follows their eyes before returning back to them.

“Yes. The AI has never dealt with something like that. I feared… Well, it wasn’t the case. That’s all that matters.” Cichol looks away once more. “I hope this does not color your thoughts on me too harshly, and I hope you know that this information—”

  
“I will never tell another,” Byleth swears.  _ They wouldn’t believe me, _ they think, but more than that — it would be cruel. They know that much. “Thank you for telling me, Cichol. I — I appreciate it.”

Cichol nods. “You are welcome, Byleth.” He goes and opens the door. “Now, I do have to work on this. I’ll see you out.” 

Byleth goes without another word. 

#

Byleth’s not sure if the little  _ ding _ from Eris has actually stopped or if they’ve just become numb to the sound. The group chat is buzzing with speculation over what happened, the mod chat is half-frantic with yet another PR disaster looming, and someone keeps messaging them individually.

It’s Ashe. He still hasn’t given up. 

Oh, the others sent a few messages — even Felix, which is impressive since Byleth is pretty sure he’s less alive than not nowadays — but no one has repeatedly messaged them the way Ashe has. Maybe they should find it annoying, but if anything it’s sweet. A friend looking out for a friend.

Or a friend looking out to make sure the other friend hasn’t been arrested for accidentally crashing  _ Fire Emblem _ . Both are possible. 

For the most part, all of the messages are the same but Byleth backreads a bit just to make sure they have context. 

_ arrowguy1017: Hey, just let me know that you’re okay. _

_ arrowguy1017: I’m sorry for all of the messages, I’m just freaking out a bit. _

_ arrowguy1017: I know you’re like a Real Adult :tm: but I’d just like to make sure you’re not dead. _

_ arrowguy1017: Or arrested or something. _

_ arrowguy1017: Do you know what happened at all? The group chat is going wild… _

_ arrowguy1017: Also I might kill Sylvain if he makes another joke. _

_ arrowguy1017: Er, that was a joke. I don’t know if you’re a mandatory reporter. _

_ arrowguy1017: Does a mandatory reporter have to report if they don’t know the person? Since I don’t go to your school… _

_ arrowguy1017: That’s not important. Just let me know if you’re okay. I’ll stop bugging you. _

_ arrowguy1017: Okay it’s been like three hours, are you okay? _

_ arrowguy1017: Like, I didn’t actually think anything too bad would happen unless you really messed up… which I guess you kind of did… if you’re even related to the crash. _

_ arrowguy1017: Oh no, what if you’re like. In a car crash.  _

_ arrowguy1017: Okay, Sylvain told me that there weren’t any huge car crashes in Fhirdiad with someone matching your description, but it only took him like ten minutes to reply so I don’t know if he was telling the truth. _

_ arrowguy1017: I hope you’re okay. _

_ Byleth: Hello. _

_ arrowguy1017: BYLETH I AM SO SORRY FOR ALL THE MESSAGES _

_ arrowguy1017: I was worried :(  _

_ Byleth: I can see.  _

_ Byleth: I am fine.  _

_ arrowguy1017: What happened? Was it you who crashed the game? _

_ Byleth: I think that could be one way of putting it.  _

_ Byleth: I can’t tell you much. Sorry. _

_ arrowguy1017: That’s okay, but maybe message Sylvain? _

_ Byleth: I can, but why? _

_ arrowguy1017: I think he’s worried about you since I bugged him to see if you had gotten in a crash or something. _

_ Byleth: There. I sent a message to the group chat. Is that sufficient? _

_ arrowguy1017: Oh, that was very nice. Thank you, really. I’m sorry for being such a bother… _

_ Byleth: Not at all. _

_ Byleth: I had a lot to think about or I would have replied to your messages earlier.  _

_ arrowguy1017: It’s okay, really. You don’t need to tell me anything, I’m just glad you’re okay. _

_ Byleth: Thank you. _

_ Byleth: Ashe, I have an odd question for you. I can’t tell you why, but I’d like your thoughts on something. _

_ arrowguy1017: Oh, okay? I’m not really the most thoughtful one or smart one of the group, but if I can help I certainly will! _

_ Byleth: It’s a two part question, I think.  _

_ Byleth: Have you ever lost a family member before? Or someone close to you. _

_ Byleth: And if you could, would you bring them back as an AI or a robot? _

_ Byleth: I’m sorry if I’ve brought up something sensitive. I can always ask someone else. _

_ arrowguy1017: No, it’s okay. I’m just typing a bit.  _

_ arrowguy1017: So, you know that Lonato isn’t my birth father. He’s my adoptive dad. And I owe him a lot and think of him as my father, but my birth parents are still in my heart. They died in a fire when I was really young. They ran a restaurant together. My siblings and I were lucky. We were at home. The restaurant fire happened because of one of the line chefs and both my parents died.  _ _ We were bounced around foster homes. We = my siblings and I. I have a little sister and brother. They’re sixteen and thirteen right now. Menaces, but we’re all very close. We got split up a few times, which… wasn’t fun. But we eventually got fostered by one rich family who treated us like their pet project. Something to show how nice and noble they were.  _

_ arrowguy1017: I hated them, but we were together. It’s also where I started archery. I couldn’t do any other sports and they were obsessed with me being good enough and showing off. But I digress. _

_ arrowguy1017: Eventually, Lonato adopted us right from under the rich family’s noses. Oh, Lonato has plenty of money. He’s got another son, too.His name is Christophe. He’s like my brother, but he’s ten years older than me, so it’s a bit like having a friend more than anything.  _

_ arrowguy1017: Anyways, the point of all this is that I miss my parents still. I went through a lot of bad things and I couldn’t always protect my siblings. They still worry about being taken away or about Lonato giving us away. It’s why I’m so determined to do well, why I need to make the most out of college and the opportunity he’s giving all three of us.  _

_ arrowguy1017: But even if I could take my parents’ souls and put them into a robot, I wouldn’t do it. _

_ Byleth: Why not? _

_ arrowguy1017: Because that wouldn’t be fair. I’ve made peace with their deaths. It wasn’t easy and it’ll always still affect me. What happened was cruel and no child should have to go through that. But if I just wave my hand and bring them back, then what happens to everything I’ve built now? _

_ arrowguy1017: Lonato has helped me so much, and so has Christophe, but even besides them. You guys, the Lions, have helped me for years now. Even if I don’t talk about it much, even if you’re new to the guild… All of that is lessened if I spend all my time thinking about my parents. _

_ arrowguy1017: I’ll never forget them. I’ll never forget the sound of my father’s laugh or the way my mother would make crab cakes for special occasions. But I also know that they wouldn’t want me to remember them so much that I can’t live my own life. _

_ arrowguy1017: I’ve moved on. That doesn’t mean I don’t care for them anymore or that I don’t miss them even.  _

_ Byleth: I understand. _

_ arrowguy1017: I knew you would. _

_ arrowguy1017: Thank you for letting me say all of that. I know it’s not fun things. _

_ Byleth: My mother died in childbirth. You know my father died recently. It isn’t the same, but I know what it’s like to lose parents as well.  _

_ Byleth: I don’t know if I’ve accepted my father’s death yet. But I hope that one day I can. _

_ arrowguy1017: It’s not easy. But you know we understand. And I’m always here if you want to talk. _

_ arrowguy1017: Most of us have messed up family situations. Dedue and Dimitri aside, Felix’s mother died when he was a kid. Mercedes never talks about her parents. Annette’s dad literally disappeared for fifteen years and showed up again when she graduated high school. _

_ arrowguy1017: And I’m pretty sure Sylvain wishes that his parents were dead, but they disowned him last year so they don’t count.  _

_ Byleth: It sounds like I accidentally picked the perfect guild to join. _

_ arrowguy1017: Well, we are pretty cool. _

_ arrowguy1017: Thank you for being my friend. It means a lot to me. _

_ Byleth: Of course. And thank you for being my friend. I think I forgot how to make friends when I stopped going to school.  _

_ Byleth: You’ve given me a lot to think about. I appreciate that, but I think I will spend some time with my thoughts now. _

_ arrowguy1017: Okay. Just let me know if you need anything else, okay?  _

_ Byleth: I will. _

_ Byleth: And I’m glad that you’re no longer in that kind of a place, and I know that we’ve only been friends for a short amount of time, but know that I am here for you in whatever way you may need. If you ever need a place to stay, I have an extra room in my apartment. _

_ arrowguy1017: I couldn’t ask that of you.  _

_ arrowguy1017: Besides, I’m mostly certain that Lonato won’t get rid of me. I’m already in my 20s, I don’t know if he really can at this point. _

_ Byleth: It’s what my father would want. _

_ Byleth: Good night, Ashe. _

_ arrowguy1017: Good night, Byleth. _

#

“You wanted to talk to me?” Cichol asks as he steps into Seiros’s office. She nods but doesn’t look away from her computer. Normal enough, so Cichol just sits in the chair across from her and waits. 

Seiros finishes quickly and then smiles at Cichol. It doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I wanted to thank you for all of your work recently. I know it’s been a challenging time. Once things calm down, I hope you’ll consider taking a vacation?” 

Cichol frowns. “I wasn’t planning on it, no.”

“When was the last time you took a break?” She asks. He has to think about it and, before he can answer, she continues, “I will schedule something for you this winter. I’ll just take over a few of your duties myself and I’m sure that Cyril will be excited to have a bit more responsibility around the office.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I must insist that you allow me to remain and help,” Cichol says. “There is no point in taking a vacation. What would I do? Where would I go?” 

“You could spend more time with Cethleann.”

“Cethleann is in a hospital room.” It comes out curt. Cichol sighs. “My apologies. I had a conversation with Byleth that was more emotional than I thought it would be.”

Seiros nods sympathetically but says nothing. Cichol finds himself growing restless, which is unusual.  _ Perhaps it is because I have not visited her in a few days, _ he thinks. It is true that he has been busier and it is also true that he does try to at least say hello to Cethleann multiple times a week. With  _ Fire Emblem _ taking so much of his time, though, it sometimes is easier to just fiddle with the AI and let that distract him. He just hasn’t even had time for that recently, what with everything going on in the game.

Cichol thinks about Byleth’s blank expression when he told them everything. Truly emotionless or just stunned into nothingness? Hard to tell. He remembers Jeralt being an emotional guy, but after his wife died… 

Well, people changed. Cichol knew that more than anyone, it sometimes felt. 

“I noticed that you’ve taken Cethleann offline recently,” Seiros says. “Is everything okay?” 

“I’ve wanted to make some adjustments. With everything happening, the last thing we need is a rogue AI.” Cichol licks his lips. “I will work on her more when I have time. The focus of my attention is on the game, as it has always been.”

Seiros smiles a bit softer. “We both know that your focus has always been your family. It’s one of the things I admire about you, Cichol.”

He ducks his head. “Thank you, then.” He pauses, formatting the phrase in his head into a proper thought. “I was wondering what you plan on doing now that we have the original code for the AI back.”

“Well, Hanneman will have to take a look. We’ll tell him it was an early project that got scrapped but was found out of the blue, which is mostly correct. He’s really the best mind in AI out there. If he cannot bring Sothis to life, then no one can. And the release of a new NPC will go well with the event that’s ongoing.” Seiros laughs. “It actually couldn’t have been better timing. Just a few more months and I will finally have everything that this game was supposed to be for.”

Cichol looks at her. “The game is already doing that, though. It’s about connections. Making friends. Having fun. Making life a little less terrible.”

“Yes, but it’s also about never forgetting the past,” Seiros reminds him. At least, that’s her tone. Cichol finds himself frowning but forces himself to stop. “I never gave up on finding Jeralt. You know that. And it was true, my instincts were true — this whole time, he really did have a way to salvage everything I’ve worked towards.”

“It is a miracle that he still had the code,” Cichol agrees. “Do you think that he thought it was special or kept it out of sentimentality?” 

“Honestly? I do not care. I have it now and I can do what I need with it.” Seiros leans back in her chair. “Thank you, Cichol, for everything. Please go and get some rest.”

“I hope you will sleep as well, Seiros.” Cichol left with much on his mind that night. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *incoherent screaming*

_ [guild] lucky_strike: It's been nice knowing everyone, but I am actually signing off for the next two weeks. _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I'm behind on my thesis, I'm behind on training, and I haven't slept more than six hours a night. _

_ [guild] yumyum: Oh no!!!! :0 Please sleep more. _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: We'll miss you, but prioritize your health.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Understood.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I'm coming back, I just need a break.  _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: I'm sure that you'll do great! We're cheering you on for your competition.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Thanks. _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Sylvain will send us pictures, I'm sure.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: you know it!!!  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: This is the competition for whether you move forward, yes?  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Yeah. After this, I move to the state competition and then there's the national one. I've never actually made to an international competition.  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: you should have many times. _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: Yes, well, having a forced DQ once and not being able to compete for two years isn't exactly great for my odds. _

_ [guild] yumyum: I don't remember a DQ?  _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: I'm sorry, what does DQ mean?  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Disqualification.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: whoa, I barely remember that. we were in high school right???  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: It was when I was just starting hormones. They had me compete in the girl's category, then disqualified me when I won.  _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I didn't bring it up much because I was so angry. Besides, we had just started playing this game.  _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: That's horrible. I'm sorry that happened.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Well, now I have to cheer for you even more!!! \\\=^.^=// _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Yeah, I'm sure that this year will be better. _

_ [guild] ladyofmercy: And if they don't treat you with respect, we can ruin their lives!  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: I agree with Mercedes.  _

_ [guild] ofduscur: People hate and fear what they don’t understand.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: I wish that I could visit. It's been a while.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: my bed and couch are always open for you ;) _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: No, it's not. It’s not even your couch. It's my couch. I paid for it.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Gross, Sylvain. _

_ [guild] ofduscur: Isn't it Rodrigue's since he paid for it?  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: LOL  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Burn!!! ^_^ _

_ [guild] lucky_strike: I take it back. I'm never going to return. This is the last time I'm speaking to any of you.  _

_ [guild] yumyum: Oh nooooo :((((  _

_ [guild] theboarprince: okay. _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: hey fe if youre not playing anymore can i have your account :))) _

_ [guild] [Mod] Byleth: Account trading is against the code of conduct.  _

_ [guild] knightedfreya: Please ban Sylvain, he probably deserves it.  _

_ [guild] not_house_gaudy_3: no dont ban me i just got to level 50 _

_ [guild] ashetreearrows: Please ban Sylvain, he's already level fifty.  _

Felix laughs. Sylvain tosses a rolled up sock at him and it bounces off the back of Felix's head. Somehow, it's like all the stress on Felix's shoulders melts away when he sees Sylvain give him a teasing but mildly annoyed glare. 

"What?" Felix asks.

"That's for colluding with the enemy," Sylvain complains. 

"I think the enemy is the rest of the guild," Felix points out, seeing more messages pop up in the chat. Annette and Ashe are making fun of Sylvain for never studying, Mercedes tells them all that they shouldn't be jealous of Sylvain, and Ingrid is asking Byleth whether they can temporarily ban Sylvain so Ingrid can have a week free from stress.

Somehow, Felix's first thought is  _ I'm actually going to miss this _ . He certainly has enough on his plate and he really can't justify spending hours playing, but… 

Well, it'll be a relief once the tournament is over, that's all. 

“Keep me updated if anything major happens. I won’t even read the patch notes this week. Complete radio silence,” Felix explains. 

"You won't miss too much," Sylvain says, though he's back to typing a heartfelt plea to Ingrid. Felix snorts as Sylvain promises to keep his flirting to a minimum. 

"I think we have a different idea of what counts as  _ too much _ ,” he replies, but his words don’t have any venom. Sylvain shrugs, his attention fully on the game once more. Felix goes to log off and start working on his thesis, but he sees a message alert. Curious, he opens it.

_ [Conversation with theboarprince] _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: hey. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: What do you want? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: the meet is the day of the anniversary isnt it? _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: You have one message before I block you on every platform I can. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i know i sound like a hypocrite, but its okay to be sad. the dead are to be mourned. you dont have to spend the whole day ignoring your feelings. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I’m not taking suggestions on handling my grief from you.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i am not saying you must. i am simply saying that it may be a good idea. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i know that you are not spending the time with rodrigue. i doubt youll let sylvain mourn with you. so what will you do? _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I’m going to win gold, drink, and sleep. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: It’s just another day. The dead don’t care if we mourn them. They don’t know any better. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i had a conversation with my therapist yesterday. she said that mourning isnt for the dead. its for the living. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Good for her. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I don’t care. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Every year, you message me like it’s going to be different. Has it ever been different, Dimitri? Have I ever wanted to do something else? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: when we were younger, yes.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I’m not that person anymore. She’s dead.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: What are you doing, then? In your quest for coping or whatever nonsense you’re calling it. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i have not decided in full. rodrigue wished to spend time together. i havent decided yet. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Of course. I’m not even his second choice for a son. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: im sorry. i shouldnt have said anything. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: It’s fine.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I guess that I’ll have to prepare to add you to my list of deaths to never acknowledge? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: well, i would hope that youd go to my funeral. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Don’t even joke about that. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: We haven’t talked about it, but we will.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: sorry. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: You aren’t allowed to die anytime soon. Your ghosts will need to wait a little longer before they stop haunting you. Got it? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: contrary to popular belief, i have no wish to die anytime soon. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Good.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other in person. I know Sylvain won’t admit it, but he misses all four of us being in the same room. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Well, the four of us and Dedue.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Maybe this summer, we can meet up. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i suppose that would be nice.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i could come to fhirdiad. it has been a while. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Yeah, well, only because it would be the right thing to do.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: you know, i am glad that we are friends again. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: and not just because you are one of the best at this game. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Don’t get sappy on me. Words are cheap.  _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Do you want something or did you just want to talk about nothing? _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: will you do me a favor, felix? _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Tell me what it is before I accept. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: pour a drink out for me. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Only if you answer a question for me. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: tell me what it is before i accept. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Don’t try being clever. It doesn’t fit you. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: :) _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Ugh. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Why did you pick ‘theboarprince’ as your username? Boar has never been a term of endearment. I meant it cruelly. You know that. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: an odd question. it was many years ago. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: If you don’t remember, just tell me. It doesn’t really matter. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: why are you asking now? _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Curiosity. Sue me. _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: Do you remember or not?  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: i remember.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: yes, it was always clear that you wanted it to hurt. it did. i felt that if my closest friend thought me a monster, a beast, then i must be one.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: then, suddenly, a game where no one knew who i was. no one could know how broken i was.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: but that felt wrong. if i was, indeed, a monster, then surely it was my duty to humanity to warn them.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: well, ‘theboar’ was not very interesting. so i thought, well, what about all of those games i played with that friend. where i was a prince and my friend a gallant knight. well, if i am a prince and a boar then i must be the prince of boars.  _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: better that than a prince of delusion or a king of infinite space confined to a walnut, i suppose. _

_ [whisper] theboarprince: so that is why i picked it. does that satisfy you? _

_ [whisper] lucky_strike: I’ll pour a drink out for all of them. You have my phone number. If you need me, text me. I won’t be on Eris. _

_ [End of conversation with theboarprince] _

#

_ [Conversation with [Mod] Rhea] _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Hello, Byleth. Do you have time to speak? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Yes. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I just wanted to say, again, that I am very happy that you returned the USB to me the other day. There is so much to go through, so it may be many months before you see the fruits of your assistance, but I assure you they will be great.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: The Sothis that you know is nothing but a fragment of how wonderful the real Sothis is and soon you’ll be able to talk to her. I’m sure that she’ll thank you for your help one I explain to her what happened. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you, I think. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It’s a computer program though, right? I think I am confused. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Yes, but it is just like her. We already have AI that can pass any tests that are thrown at them. The natural progression is an AI that is a person, a real person. What is personality, humanity, but a response to stimulus? An output to an input? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I suppose. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I am sorry if I am not very enthusiastic. It is odd. I’ve been compared to a robot many times. It’s never been a good thing. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: And that’s because people don’t understand computers. They’re wonderful things. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Tell me, when you saw your father in the game - what was your reaction? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Shock. Confusion.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: And after that?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I don’t know. I still mostly feel confusion. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Ah, yes, but you just have to think of the possibilities. People never have to die. They never need to go away. They can stay with us together. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: In fact, now that you are aware of the situation, you can help me with Jeralt. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What do you mean? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Well, I only knew him when he was younger. You’ve spent the last, what, twenty-six years with him? You will be able to make him perfect. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: You won’t have to miss him anymore. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Twenty-five. I’m twenty-five years old. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: What do you say, though? I can send you a few things to fill out whenever you have the time. Of course, the sooner the better. We can start the updates as soon as the next patch.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I had a question for you, actually _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Of course. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Cichol said that you started to make an AI for my mother. He said that my father asked you to stop. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Yes. I thought it would be a way to honor her memory. He disagreed. It is one of the things we fought about, before he left. I… admit, it might have been the beginning of the deterioration of our friendship. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: You were present only for a few years before he left.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: If my father asked you not to make one for my mother, then why did he let you make one for him? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I must admit, I never had the chance to ask him. I started development about the time he left. He didn’t give any notice, remember. One day, he just didn’t come into the office. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: It was about then I realized that the code for my mother was missing, along with a few other projects we were working on for the game.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I believe that, in his haste to take Sothis’s cade, Jeralt also tore some of our other code. That is, most likely, how the basis of your character class was created. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I thought you were creating most of it yourself. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Most of it, yes, but not all of it. Just the new things.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: But I do understand his fear. When you tell people that you want to make intelligent AI, they fear it. They don’t understand it.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: You understand, don’t you? You know how important this is. Not just for us, but for anyone else who has lost family or friends. Now, we don’t need to worry about losing our loved ones and they don’t have to worry about losing us. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: And what about Cethleann? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: What about her? _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: She is not dead, yet you have an AI for her. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: Cichol gave his permission. And, though I pray every day for her condition to improve, she has been in a coma for many years now. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I would never suggest this to Cichol, but eventually he will have to come to terms with the truth of his situation.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: It’s a tragedy, but we must make the best of the situation. Besides, you’ve heard him. It works. When he speaks with her, when he sees the AI in game, it’s like she’s back to normal.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I suppose so. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It is still a lot. I never thought that anything like this would ever be real. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: My apologies, but I still need to think about everything. It has been a hectic few days.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: I understand. Please, take your time. Know that I will be here whenever you are ready to begin. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: And if you have any other questions, of course you may reach out to me. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you, Seiros.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I hope that you have a good day. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Rhea: And you as well, Byleth. _

_ [End of conversation with [Mod] Rhea] _

Byleth looks away from their computer. Ther computer is located in the office, which has always primarily been theirs considering how incompetent with technology Jeralt had been — or at least, had pretended to be. Their room is right around the corner. Across from their room is Jeralt’s room. The door hasn’t been open since the funeral. 

They stand up. In three strides, they exit the office. In ten more, they’re in front of the closed door. Their hand wraps around the knob. 

It’s been months since Jeralt passed away, his body finally succumbing to the cancer that had spread farther than any treatment could stop. Months since Byleth organized the same ceremony. Months since they flipped through one of his journals and, on the last page, saw a username, password, and the words  _ Fire Emblem. _

Months since they’ve joined the Blue Lions and made friends with people for the first time since forever. 

Their hand is cold against the door knob. They grit their teeth. They want to turn it. Their hand is tense, yet their arm is numb. They wonder if it still smells like his bitter coffee and cheap aftershave or if the smell of antiseptic and hospital rooms had invested here as well. They hate associating their father with the sterile and cold nature of hospitals, but it was inevitable at the end. So many appointments, so many frowning faces. People who didn’t understand when Byleth didn’t cry or Byleth didn’t shout.

What were they supposed to do? Use their limited energy to make a show of their grief or actually hold it inside and care for their father? Jeralt understood. He had only commented once, at the end, when a few tears fell from both their faces. 

At least he got to pass away at home and in relative comfort, but where does that leave Byleth, who has to live in the same apartment that barely feels like a home?

The sound of their footsteps echo in the empty hall.

#

Dimitri is making himself a sandwich when his phone begins to vibrate. He puts the knife down, makes sure that his hands are clean, and goes to answer it. Considering Dedue is at work and Byleth is… well, probably also working, considering what time it is, he’s not too surprised to see the caller ID is for Rodrigue.

“Yes?” Dimitri answers, because he’s hungry and would rather get to the point. 

“Hello, Dimitri. How are you today?” Rodrigue asks. He sounds faint and there’s enough background noise that Dimitri immediately has a headache. Speakerphone? No, in the car — Dimitri can hear other vehicles if he tries hard enough.

“I’m fine.” Dimitri rubs his temples. “How are you?” 

“I’m doing well. I wanted to ask if you had put more thought into next weekend.” Rodrigue turns the car. The noise the signal makes causes Dimitri wince. “I am still planning on visiting. Dedue may join us, of course.” 

There’s a moment as Dimitri collects his thoughts and Rodrigue lets him.  _ I’m not even his second choice for a son. _ Dimitri can hear Felix’s voice in his head. He wonders when the last time Rodrigue even talked to Felix was. It’s none of Dimitri’s business, not really, but…

“I was thinking of doing something else,” Dimitri says. 

“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t hear you.” There’s a rush of static from Rodrigue, then the sound of the car stopping. A moment passes as rodrigue gets out of the car and— “Okay, now I can hear you.” 

Dimitri swallows. His head is throbbing. “I may not be available that weekend,” he repeats. 

“Oh.” Rodrigue does a surprisingly good job of not sounding as surprised as he probably is, though Dimitri can’t find it in him to blame Rodrigue. All these years and Dimitri has barely left the city, let alone made plans on the anniversary of the tragedy. “Do you… have plans?” 

“Yes.” Dimitri frowns. “I — I am busy. I think that it would be best if you prepared to spend the anniversary with someone else.” 

This time, the silence stretches on longer and without the backdrop of car noises to break it up. Dimitri actually checks if the connection has dropped when Rodrigue sighs.

“I asked Felix. Well, I was going to visit him earlier this year. But he was — he was busy.”

It takes Dimitri biting his tongue to stop himself from saying something that he would regret. Rodrigue has always done his best to be there for both Felix and Dimitri after the tragedy. It’s just that Dimitri’s the only one who has accepted it, though mostly in his own fractured way. 

Dimitri eyes the clock on the microwave. Still several hours before Dedue is off of work. They’re going to a movie together. Dimitri hasn’t been to the movies in a while. He wonders if he’ll enjoy it. He hopes he will. Movies seem like those normal people dates but he and Dedue have never really gone to one together. 

Dedue picked. Dimitri would see just about anything as long as Dedue was with him, but knowing Dedue… well, it’s almost certainly something calm and soothing and informational. Something that absolutely will not trigger either of them.

“Anyways, I hope that you have a good time with — well, with whatever it is you plan on.” Rodrigue actually is enthusiastic, which is such an alien concept that Dimitri shakes his head as if to double check that his hallucinations haven’t adopted a new form. “Please let me know if you need anything. Have you spoken to Lynn about your plans?”

“A bit.” Dimitri hadn’t told her outright but she was smart and had figured it out not halfway through session. “She thinks it’ll be good for me. Dedue will be there too.” He doesn’t expand further.

“Well, like I said — I hope that it goes well.” Rodrigue clears his throat. “How have you been feeling?” It’s his way of asking if Dimitri has gone off the deep end anytime recently. Sometimes Dimitri thinks that  _ tact _ is a skill that skipped the Fraldarius bloodline. 

“Fine.” Dimitri swallows. His throat starts to itch, because karma is a bitch. “Doctor’s appointment in two weeks.” He finds his water bottle in the office, which makes sense as he was just playing  _ Fire Emblem _ for the last five hours. He isn’t surprised when it’s almost empty. 

“That’s good. I hope it goes well.” Rodrigue pauses. “Well, I don’t want to bother you. Just — reach out if you need anything, Dimitri. You know you’re like a son to me. You always have been.”

This time, Dimitri can’t stop himself from saying,

“I know I am, but does Felix?” He winces as soon as the words process in his brain. “My apologies. That was rude. You have always been a good man to me, even when you did not have to be.”

Rodrigue clears his throat. “No, I — I know that my relationship with Felix has been… strained. I know you speak out of concern. Do not worry yourself, Dimitri.” It’s not a full dismissal, but it’s still one under the surface and even Dimitri isn’t oblivious enough to miss it. 

“Was there something else you wished to talk about?” He asks, eager to change the subject. Rodrigue declines and quickly hangs up before Dimitri can even give him a proper goodbye. Dimitri frowns at his unfinished sandwich. Suddenly, he’s lost his appetite.

He sighs and starts to put everything back in the fridge. 

#

_ Beep.  _

“Hello, Felix. It’s your father, Rodrigue. Clearly. Anyways, I wanted to call you and see how you are doing. I hope everything is okay. Your competition is coming up and I know how important that is to you. I’m sure that you’re focused on that and not just playing video games all day. You’ve always been a very hard-worker… Where was I? Right. 

“I know we haven’t talked in some time… I know you were very angry with me last time we did speak. I may be old, but I’m not stupid. I can tell when you’re upset. I wanted to give you some space. Of course, now I think that may have been… too much space. So I’m calling you now.

“It seems like you’re at practice or studying. Or you could be ignoring my message. Which, I suppose, is fair, but… I hope you listen to this. I just wanted to say… I wanted to say a lot of things. It must be because we’re so close to the anniversary of Glenn’s death. Are you going to do anything after the tournament?... I’m glad that Sylvain is there. He’s always been a good friend. It took him a few years to be a good man, but I am happy you’ve remained close. Even with his… questionable period. 

“I’m sorry I won’t be there. I know that you don’t particularly want me there, but I still… I should have made a better effort to come to your competitions. I know I never missed a single one of Glenn’s when he was alive. I thought that I’d have a whole lifetime to go to yours. Now, I’ve blinked and you’re an adult! You’re going to get a masters soon. I… You know, your mother would be proud.

“Speaking of your mother, I… I was thinking of things that happened in the past. I said some questionable things. Some in anger and some in fear, but… I know that you still remember them. I won’t repeat them now. But I want you to know that I am happy that you’re my son. My only living son. And no one and nothing will ever change that. Whether you like it or not, you’re a Fraldarius. 

“I’m proud of you, Felix. I don’t say that very much, but I should say that more. I’m proud of you and I’m sorry I won’t be at your competition. Tell Sylvain I say hello. I miss you. I’ll visit soon.”

Felix sees that he has a voicemail as he leaves practice, sweat sticking his shirt to his chest and limbs aching from the repeat drills the coach made him run all day. He might be a favorite for the competition, but that doesn’t mean he can slack. His body and mind are being pushed to the limit, though, and his cognitive abilities are the ones that suffer the most. He almost deletes the voicemail without a second thought. 

His finger hovers over the button. 

_ Ugh, _ he thinks. He locks his phone. He has a while to go before getting home and he’s hungry. No good decisions are made when hungry. 

#

Mercedes looks at her suitcase. Save for her toiletries and the other necessities, she is all packed. She is keeping it light since she wouldn't be gone too long. The reason for that is watching her in the doorway, face a mask. 

"I will call you every night," Mercedes promises. 

"I do not think this is smart," Jeritza says. His tone is slow and hesitant, each word weighed with careful consideration. "You have never left before." 

"I know, but it's just for a short time. I'll be with my friends and I'm going farther from him, so if anything I'll be safer," Mercedes points out. Her own voice is soft and earnest, a careful pitch born of years of needing to be careful about absolutely everything she said or did. 

Jeritza frowns. "I am not scared of him. He will never hurt you again. I am scared of…" He gestures to himself. 

Mercedes pauses. For all her thoughts on her trip, she hadn't considered that Jeritza was still scared of himself. It has been so long since his alter has last made an appearance and, though Mercedes knows that he will never  _ truly _ go away, she still holds some hope in her heart that Jeritza and Emile are all that remain. 

"When was the last time you had a recurrence?" She asks, her packing on hold. Jeritza shrugs. "You are taking your medications, right?" 

He nods, though his frown deepens. Mercedes feels a pang in her heart. She knows how he feels about them, but after years and years of attempts at everything else… well, she doesn't see any shame in needing a bit of help, but she knows it isn't that simple. Jeritza looks down at the floor. He’s wearing a pair of slippers that resemble ice cream cones. Annette had gotten them for him as a birthday gift after Mercedes admitted that he was sad that he never had a normal birthday. They’re probably close to five years old now, but she doubts he’ll ever get rid of them.

She wishes that more people looked at her brother and saw a shy, scared kid. She wishes that Jeritza — or Emile, whoever he was on any given day — could see the brother she knew. 

“Are you scared of hurting someone else or hurting yourself?” Mercedes asks. Jeritza hesitates. She moves to sit on the bed, the mattress shifting under her weight. When she pats the bed, Jeritza at first shakes his head. Mercedes waits and, soon enough, he changes his mind and walks over. 

The little twin bed is barely big enough for both of them to sit side-by-side — admittedly Mercedes is taking up more space than he is — but they’ve never been shy about hugging. She starts to comb through his hair with her fingers, taking out small knots and making sure there aren’t any dead ends. 

“It’s been a very long time since he’s come back. You haven’t hurt anyone in years, including yourself. Doctor Alfonse said that he’s very happy with how you’ve been doing. Are you proud of yourself?” 

“I do not know.”

Mercedes hums. Her fingers catch on a snarl and Jeritza flinches. She pats his shoulder in an apology and he’s soon back to relaxing. 

“You should be. I’m very proud of you,” she reassures him. “If you need me, you know how to reach me. And if you need Doctor Alfonse, you can call him too. But I’m only going to be gone for a few days. I know you’ll be okay.” 

“I am scared,” Jeritza admits. “I do not want to hurt anybody.” 

Mercedes stops, slowly lowering her hands. Jeritza isn’t looking at her. “Hey, Jeritza? Will you look at me for a moment?” It takes half an eternity, but slowly Jeritza turns his head so he can stare at Mercedes with big, sad eyes. “You aren’t going to hurt anyone. I know you’re scared, but it’s going to be okay. I’ll call you every night so you know I’m safe.”

“Okay.” Unsurprisingly, he still didn’t look all that happy. 

“Oh, what about this — you like Annette. I’ll take plenty of pictures with her, so you can see both of us are safe.” Mercedes opens her arms wide. Slowly, Jeritza doesn’t so much as hug her as half-fall into her arms. He hums when she tugs him close, a content smile settling over her face. “It’ll be okay. I know I don’t usually leave and that you don’t usually go anywhere, but it’s good practice. What if one day your friends want to all meet? I can’t go with you to meet your friends.”

“I guess.” He hugs her back. “I’ll take care of the garden for you.” 

“And you’ll talk to them too?” Mercedes checks.

“Yeah. Even the stupid basil.”

“The basil has done nothing wrong. I expect it to still be here when I come back.”

“If I must.” Jeritza rolls his eyes. “The oregano is nice. We should get more oregano.”

“When I come back, let’s go to the store and get more plants.”

His eyes widen and Mercedes worries that she misstepped, but it isn’t apprehension in his eyes. It’s excitement. 

“You promise?” 

  
“I promise.” Mercedes starts to rub Jeritza’s back, more out of habit than actual concern over his comfort. He doesn’t complain and doesn’t tell her to stop, though. 

The silence is nice, though it is ruined by the sound of cars driving by their apartment. A police siren goes off and they both flinch. Racking her brain, Mercedes says,

“Do you ever miss fencing?” 

Jeritza shrugs. “I was good at it. Very good at it. but I don’t remember much.” 

She supposes that makes sense. Still… 

“Do you want me to take photos for you this weekend?” 

He actually thinks about the question for quite a while. If not for his open eyes, she would tease him for falling asleep. 

“I would like videos of good fencing, if that is okay.”

Mercedes thinks about trying to explain to Felix what she’s doing and wonders if he’ll humor her and show off a bit. Then again, the whole day is going to be him showing off, won’t it? 

She gives her brother a smile and then hugs him again.

“I will, and I’ll miss you the whole time.” 

“Okay. I will miss you too, sister.” 

#

Byleth is definitely doing work. Like grading essays or planning next semester's classes, since the syllabuses are due in a month. They're mostly teaching the same classes, but they're trying to propose a new one —  _ The Influence of The War of 1180 in Pop Culture. _ It's really just an excuse to get the university to pay them to watch movies as research, but strangely specific classes are one of the benefits of being almost tenured. 

Byleth is definitely not fishing in  _ Fire Emblem _ . Definitely not. They have a lot of responsibilities to do like a responsible adult. 

Planning next semester, for one. Checking that everything is settled for tomorrow, for another. 

They smile as they gain another level in fishing. It's something small, but it's nice. There's cheerful music and confetti is scattered across their screen. Never let it be said that they don't like some confetti. 

This particular fishing spot is pretty secluded, so Byleth doesn't expect to see anyone else. With the guild and world chats both muted, they also don't expect any alerts. When one does show up, they feel their breath catch in their throat. 

Even though their instinct is to decline, they find themself opening it up anyways. 

_ [Conversation with Emeralddragon] _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Hi, Byleth!  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: How are you today?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Hi. I'm okay.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: How are you?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: I'm doing well!  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You've been gone for a while. Is everything okay?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Yes, I've just been busy.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Are you fishing?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Yes. Do you want to join me? Or are you still not allowed?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Unfortunately I cannot join a group :( But I can fish near you!  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: How old are you? Is your brother really that influential over you?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: He controls you more than most siblings would.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: It's because he wants to protect me!  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: I can't tell you much, but I promise he has a good reason for it. He means well. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I suppose it is hard for me to understand.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Are your parents not around?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Not really, no. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What happened to them?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: I don't want to talk about it, sorry.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Family is difficult. I understand. I was just curious. _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I did not want to make you uncomfortable.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: That's okay! I forgive you.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Let's talk about something else.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What else do you want to talk about?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What do you think about robots?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: I haven't really thought of them before.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: What do you think about robots?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Interesting. What about AI?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: AI? What's that?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: You know what it is.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: I really do not :( _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Did I do something to anger you? I am sorry.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It isn't you.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: What would you do if you found that someone was not who you thought they were?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: It would depend, I guess.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Did they have a good reason to lie to me? How big was the lie?  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Maybe they just were scared. Maybe they had bad intentions. There's a lot that I would have to think about.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I suppose you are right.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I just have trouble when I think the person doesn't even realize what they're doing.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: What do you mean?  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: It's complicated.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here as a helping hand!  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: Thank you, I think.  _

_ [whisper] [Mod] Byleth: I'm afraid that I must go.  _

_ [whisper] Emeralddragon: Okay, have a good day/night!  _

_ [End of conversation with Emeralddragon]  _

Byleth feels a shiver go up their spine even as they lot off. Their hands are shaking, they realize. It's not quite the same as talking to the NPC Jeralt. In many ways, it's worse. 

Does this Cethleann even realize she isn't real? Does Byleth want to know the answer to that? 

They sigh and stand up. They really do have other things to do. Besides, tomorrow is going to be a busy day. 

#

Felix stretches in the locker room even before donning his gear. He can move quickly in it, of course, but what with the bib and the mask is always annoying. Even years into the sport, he sometimes craves the ability to just fence without all the protective gear. Dangerous, sure, but what's more fun than the thrill of knowing that a single slip will result in grievous injury? 

"Hey, Fraldarius, your check in is coming up. Get suited up already," Lon'qu, one of his teammates shouts into the room. They fence in different disciplines, which is probably the only reason they aren't bitter rivals. Felix fences épée while Lon'qu is the saber specialist. 

"I'm coming," Felix replies. He grabs his mask, tucks it under one arm, and makes sure his sword hasn't suddenly deteriorated from the last time he examined it before leaving the locker room. 

The gym of the University of Fhirdiad is busier than it's been in the last six months. Teams from across the area have come to compete, though mostly representatives from Fhirdiad or neighboring cities are present. The earliest matches were the women’s foil followed by men’s foil. As an épée competitor, Felix gets the late start time of ten am. Sylvain still complained that it was too early. Felix threw a pillow at him that morning, then did not comment when Sylvain just took it and fell back asleep with it under his head.

In the present, Felix shakes his head. He has to stay focused. 

He heads over to the main judges’ table to check in. There’s a short line and he can’t help but wish that he had his phone as a distraction — there’s always one idiot who doesn’t have all their gear together. It takes a few minutes, but soon he’s on his way to mat three to get hooked in and run a few tests before the match actually begins. 

His first opponent is someone from Gaspard Uni, a name he doesn’t recognize. Felix isn’t too concerned, but he still takes it seriously. He keeps his mask off for now and keeps it simple. The weight of the equipment quickly falls into the familiar and his movements stay fluid. He ignores everything around him, ignores the noise of the other matches, ignores the stress from school, ignores the anguish that comes with this day every time this year—

“You can do it if you try, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Go Felix!” A cheer comes up from the bleachers. Felix can feel his focus snap, his head swiveling around to try to see who the  _ fuck _ is screaming so much. His blood stops flowing properly and instead roars in his ears when his eyes land on what can only be described as his own personal cheer section.

Annette waves both her hands, jumping up and down just in case he can’t see her in the front row, her pigtails bouncing with each elevation. It looks like she’s drowning in what has to be Sylvain’s U of F jacket, what with how the sleeves dangle past her hands. Next to her, Mercedes smiles and waves. She’s bundled up in a handknit sweater, hair tucked behind her ears. 

Ashe grins from the other side of Annette. His silver hair catches the light but is dim compared to how bright his expression is. Behind him, Ingrid waves as well. She doesn’t look like she’s changed since the last time he saw her in person, still with the blonde bob and an inclination towards the color blue.

Next to her, Sylvain holds up his phone and gives Felix a thumbs up. Felix wants to scowl, but he can only express utter shock because next to Sylvain is Dimitri.

He looks surprisingly good, though Felix wasn’t exactly sure what he could expect. Dimitri’s still got eyebags visible from even this far away, but his hair is pulled into neat ponytail and his clothes look freshly washed. He has an eyepatch over one eye and it hits Felix that this is the first time that he’s ever seen it in person. Still, Dimitri is smiling and he offers Felix a slight nod, lips curling up a little further. 

Pressed close to Dimitri is Dedue, who shows Felix a thumbs up before whispering something to Dimitri. Dedue holds out a scarf, which seems a bit excessive considering how warm the gym is — then again, Felix is energized and in layers of thick protective material so maybe he’s not the best judge. 

Last but certainly not least, Felix sees Byleth standing there. At least, it must be Byleth — they’ve never shared a photo of themself. Felix is surprised to see that their hair is actually rather long, dark green, and aids them in a vaguely gender ambiguous aesthetic. They aren’t smiling, but they tilt their head at him, so he’ll take it. After the enthusiasm from his other friends, it’s actually a bit of a relief.

But the main thing that he realizes in that moment is that he’s seen Byleth before — in fact, he took their introduction class back when he was a freshman. Even back then, he thought that they were freakishly young as a professor but they had been frighteningly competent, if a bit dull. He got an A in the class, then never took another history class again. 

“You’ve got this!” Annette shouts, knocking Felix out of his thoughts. He snorts and, despite himself, finds himself laughing. He can’t tell if he’s numb due to shock, exhaustion, or delight. 

There’s something to be said about how this is the first time the Blue Lions have been in a room together and he’s dressed up in fencing gear at a competition his own father couldn’t attend. 

“Hey, are you ready? The match needs to start soon,” the ref tells Felix. He blinks and nods at her, tugging his mask on. As soon as it’s on, his focus is back. There’s a smile on his face even as his opponent gets ready on the other end of the mat, sword at the ready. 

“Go Felix! We believe in you!” Mercedes shouts. Felix can hear her so clearly — even his mask can’t muffle her more than Eris’s crappy connection. He feels his energy refresh and thinks of armies bolstered by war drums or chants. He never really got it before, but now he does. 

After all, with his friends supporting him, he can’t lose.

#

Ashe is having a crisis. First, everything feels so overwhelming. Sylvain and Annette are both very touchy-feely, though not in a flirty way — he sometimes can’t tell with Sylvain, but all he has to do is see how Sylvain looks at Felix and he knows that Sylvain’s really only got eyes for one man — but each time they hug him or put an arm around his shoulder, he feels his heart stop. 

Second, he’s slightly jetlagged. Even though it’s only a two hour time difference, it’s just enough that he wants to go back to sleep even after a cup of coffee. The hotel was pretty comfortable, but Ingrid snored the whole night and Ashe hadn’t prepared for that. 

Third, Byleth is definitely not some forty-something year old professor. Ashe isn’t bold enough to ask, but thankfully Sylvain’s never heard of shame and just asks how old they are. 

“Twenty-five,” Byleth replies with a tilt of their head. “Why?” 

Annette, who is sipping on a lemonade, almost chokes on it. Sylvain even looks shocked, but he manages a grin.

“Just curious! Hey, Fe, are you getting your usual or something else?” He asks, somehow leaning even more into Felix’s personal space. Felix glares at him but doesn’t tell him to back off — not that Sylvain really can. The diner gave the group their biggest table, one of the corner tables that wrap around, but between their sheer number and the fact that Dedue and Dimitri could take up half a table alone, there’s not a ton of space. 

Which leads directly to the third reason Ashe is having a crisis because, while he may have seen photos of his friends before and has even met Annette at one point, they’re all a  _ lot _ hotter in person. And now they’re all in a tiny diner, celebrating Felix winning gold, and making enough noise that it’s probably good that it’s late and the place is almost empty besides their guild. 

“Is the BLT any good?” Annette asks. 

“Oh, if you get that, can I have some of your fries?” Mercedes smiles at Byleth, who is sitting stock-still with the menu still closed in front of them. “Do you need help deciding, Byleth?” 

They blink and look right past her, eyes somewhere above her head. Mercedes doesn’t look surprised, just waits patiently for them to respond. They shake their head.

“No, thank you though.” They start to fidget with a plastic toy, something that spins and twists as they move it around in their hands. “Ashe, what are you getting?”

“O-Oh!” Ashe looks back at the menu, trying to make a decision with everything being offered to him. “I’m not sure yet.”

“I think we have decided,” Dedue declares, closing his menu. Dimitri nods. He looks like he hasn’t slept in three days, but he’s smiling. Ashe looks away as Dedue takes out a pill container and hands it to Dimitri, but he still can see Dedue withdraw a second container, this one green in contrast to the blue. 

No one asks. 

“Dimitri, are you sure that you’re comfortable?” Annette asks. The man in question is squeezed between Dedue and Annette, though he’s leaning on Dedue as much as he can. Dimitri nods, giving Annette a warm smile.

“I am, but please let me know if you need more space.”

“Oh, you just look like you’re the one running out of space! But as long as you’re okay…”

“It’s okay, Dima, you can say that you want to cuddle with the Dedudue,” Sylvain teases. He has an arm that is technically over the side of the seat, but if one squints could be over Felix’s shoulders. “If we need more space, Felix could always sit on my lap. Or you, Ingrid — it’ll be like when we were kids.”

Felix rolls his eyes and snaps his menu closed. His hair is still a bit wet from his post-competition shower. Ingrid is the one who speaks first, though.

“Not in your dreams, Gautier.” She sips her soda. “Do we want to get some appetizers for the table? The wings looked really good…”

“Get whatever you want,” Dimitri says. “I will pay the bill.” 

Instantly, a chorus of arguments rises. Ashe can hear his own voice in the cacophony, but he does notice that Dedue doesn’t even bother. Dimitri raises a hand and, like with a group of loyal knights and their king, the table falls silent. 

“You are all the only reason I’m still here today. We are here for Felix and for each other, but I know that your friendship has been invaluable for me. You all know what I’ve been through. Allow me this small sign of my appreciation.”

“Oh, Dimitri,” Mercedes says, reaching out across the table. “You don’t need to do anything extra. We know how much you care about us, and hopefully you know how much we care for you.”

It’s sweet, so Felix immediately ruins it by saying, 

“I’ll let you pay for my meal. It’s the least you can do for showing up without telling me.” He’s smiling though, and Ashe has heard him over chat enough times to know that he isn’t actually angry. His words do break any last tension, though, and soon the table is back to chatting about everything and everything.

The waitress comes by at some point and they order a few plates of wings and their proper dinners. Sylvain jokes about signing up for one of Byleth’s classes next semester — and it really is wild to think that Byleth teaches at the same school Sylvain and Felix attend — and Ingrid starts talking about the time that Sylvain utterly bombed an entire year of school and had to get held back. 

“Your father was going to kill you,” she recalls. Sylvain laughs, scratching the back of his head. 

“Yeah, well, it was a rough year.” Sylvain shrugs, but his smile isn’t quite as easy. 

“Felix, you’re getting your masters with your undergrad, right?” Ashe asks, looking to change the subject. 

“Kind of.” He shrugs. “I’m getting my masters in one year by doing the majority of the classes now.” He looks at Mercedes, or at least in her general direction. “You’re still in residency?” 

Mercedes nods and the conversation goes to easier topics. Honestly, Ashe could probably be talking about the consistency of paint and he’d still be having fun. He can see how Ingrid’s nose scrunches up when she laughs, how Mercedes closes her eyes when she giggles, or how Dedue has such warmth in his eyes— 

It’s a lot. His friends, people who he knew existed on the other side of the screen, are not only real but they’re within touching distance. Annette points out when Dimitri gets some sauce on his cheek and Mercedes offers to braid Felix’s hair later.

“You really remind me of my little brother,” she says. “Oh, Annette — take a picture with me.”

“For Emile? Sure!” Annette grins and gives the camera a peace sign as Mercedes puts an arm around her friend. It’s an awkward angle, so Felix ends up pulling out his own phone and taking the picture. 

This spawns a sudden flurry of photos, during which the waitress comes with the wings. She then gets roped into taking a group photo, which Felix — who has the best phone — uploads to the Eris chat immediately. 

“Oh, we look so cute!” Mercedes exclaims. Ashe squints at the phone. He feels like his freckles are even more obnoxious than usual, but he’s actually really happy with the photo for once. Everyone is smiling, even Byleth. Sylvain has his arms over Ingrid and Felix, Annette is waving at the camera, and the lighting manages to make Dimitri look less tired. 

It’s a really good photo. 

“You guys aren’t actually staying at the apartment, right?” Felix asks, sounding actually worried about the answer. Annette laughs.

“No, silly! We got a hotel room for the four of us.” She gestures to the line of Ingrid-Ashe-Mercedes and then herself. 

“Dedue and I have a different hotel room,” Dimitri adds. “I do not sleep well most nights.” 

“I live fifteen minutes away.” Byleth tilts their head. “Do we have plans after dinner?”

“Well, we can all crowd into our living room and watch movies or something,” Sylvain offers. Ashe half-expects Felix to complain, but it really shows how much Felix is enjoying this when nothing comes. “Did everyone bring a laptop? We could have a LAN party.”

“I don’t think there’s an internet in the world that could handle that,” Byleth points out. 

“Besides, we always play  _ Fire Emblem _ together. We should do something else. I think a movie is a good idea.” Annette grins. “We can  _ Annette-flix _ and chill.” 

Dimitri laughs and Mercedes giggles, but Felix just groans. “Please never say that again,” he tells her. 

“I thought you were funny,” Mercedes promises. She pats Annette on the back.

“Oh! I get it!” Ingrid laughs. “I think it’s good. Hey, Dimitri, are you going to finish those?” She points to the red-hot wings. 

Dimitri shakes his head and slides them over to Ingrid. Dedue opens his mouth, then closes it. Ashe isn’t the only one who notices. 

“Were you going to say something?” Byleth asks him.

“Well, those are very spicy,” he says slowly. Ingrid shrugs. 

“You and Dimitri were eating them without a problem. I’m sure they’re fine.” She takes a bite of one. Her face goes bright red and she almost spits it out. 

Ashe only laughs a little. He’s too busy enjoying himself, enjoying the company of his friends, to be mean about it. He passes Ingrid his glass of water after she drains it. Felix helps himself to the wings. He doesn’t have nearly as bad a reaction, though he squints at Dimitri as he chews.

“Since when have you liked spicy food,” Sylvain asks Dimitri, who shrugs. 

“Oh, Dedue, you cook, don’t you? Have you been introducing Dimitri to different spices?” Ashe asks. Sylvain opens his mouth, but Ingrid is still coherent enough to elbow him in the stomach. 

“Don’t you dare.” 

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Sylvain lies. 

“Uh-huh.” Ingrid dabs at her mouth with her napkin. “That was delicious, though…” She eyes the last wing, but shakes her head when Felix raises an eyebrow. He nods and eats it without complaint. He’s a bit more red than usual. 

Ashe smiles hopefully at Dedue. “S-So, I know I’m here the whole weekend, and our hotel room has a small kitchen…”

Annette claps her hands together. “Oh my gosh, can we cook together? Mercie, you can bake something for us, right? Like your extra-special cookies?” 

“I would like to cook with you, as we’ve discussed doing before,” Dedue replies. “Something simple, but easy for everyone to enjoy. 

“I would like to bake, but all my equipment is at home…” Mercedes pauses, considering her options.

“Uh, hello, Felix and I have an apartment? What stuff do you even need to bake?” Sylvain crosses his hands behind his back. “Even if we don’t have it, we definitely have more space than your hotel.” 

“Well, if you’re okay with that. Maybe we can make dinner tomorrow for everyone,” Ashe suggests. “Byleth, do you have plans?”

They shake their head. “My apartment would not be very good either, but if you are comfortable with my presence, I would enjoy joining you tomorrow night.”

“That sounds like a plan!” Sylvain shoots finger guns at Dedue. “I guess I’ll have to clean up tonight.” 

Ingrid sighs. “Please. The last thing I want to see is the pigsty you two live in together.” 

“I remember Sylvain always being the tidy one,” Dimitri murmurs. “Felix was always a bit of a slob.”

“Hey,” Felix responds, eyebrows furrowing but a smirk on his face, “I don’t think you have any room to talk. Dedue, is Dimitri still terrible at putting his things away? Whenever we were kids,” Felix explains, “I remember being yelled at for not putting the toys back. Once, your dad—” His face closes off.

The lull in conversation is enough to make Ashe look around, thinking that something has happened to his hearing. But no, everyone is still there just… quiet.

“You did really well today,” Byleth says softly. “Rodrigue does not know what he’s missing.”

“Thanks,” Felix replies. He swallows. “So, Dimitri, how does it feel to be back in Fhirdiad? How long has it been?”

The conversation rolls over Ashe, smooth as a river through a forest. This is nice. This is good. 

The Blue Lions are together, they are happy, and they are safe. What else can he hope for?

#

“I’m exhausted,” Sylvain says, collapsing on the couch when Annette finally leaves — she’s the last one out, giving everyone a hundred hugs and promising that she’ll see them tomorrow, as if anything could stop them from hanging out the whole weekend. 

Felix hums in agreement. He sits on the couch, a few inches between him and Sylvain. There’s a weird quiet that falls over the apartment now that it’s just the two of them, something peaceful and calm but still with an electric undercurrent. The two have never had that many people over — haven’t had  _ any  _ people over. It’s a new experience, having to jam so many bodies in the living room, crowding around a suddenly too-small television as they watch some stupid comedy that Ashe recommends. 

He still has his gold medal around his neck. Felix tried to take it off, but Sylvain had kicked up enough of a fuss that he gave up even trying. He feels a bit flushed even though he only had a single drink. Certainly not drunk, not even tipsy, but his fingers tingle a bit and it takes him a moment to realize that Sylvain is sitting up and looking at him with wide eyes. 

“You good, Fe?” He asks, voice softer than it’s been the whole night. Felix nods, head jerking with the motion. “Cool. Just — I figured it’d be a nice surprise. But I know today kind of sucks. Hopefully it — hopefully it sucks a little less this year.” 

Does it suck less? Is it easier? Felix can think of what he’s done each and every year ever since the tragedy. He can map out the way he’s changed, the way he’s handled things one way or another way, regardless of how healthy or useful something actually was at that time. He’s never spent the whole day with friends. He’s never had this many friends to spend time with in the first place. 

He’s never let anyone get that close, except for Sylvain who never even asked, just assumed that the answer was  _ yes _ and gone from there. 

Felix knows that, if Sylvain had asked, he would have turned down the Blue Lions visiting. He knows that he wouldn’t have let any of them come, not even Byleth who literally works at the same school he attends. 

Felix is glad that Sylvain didn’t ask.

“Thanks,” he says. “I had a lot of fun.” A moment. The television glow makes Sylvain’s eyes so much brighter than they usually were. Felix wonders when he started to notice Sylvain’s eyes — it feels so natural, it must have been when he was very young. He doesn’t want to think about what that implies. “Did you have fun?” 

“I did. Everyone was even cooler in person.” Sylvain laughs. “I can’t believe that Dimitri and Dedue both grew. What are they eating over there — it’s got to be something in the water.” 

“You’re telling me.” Felix reaches up and fidgets with the medal. Sylvain slings an arm around him. He’s burning — or maybe Felix is just imagining things. He can feel the hot curl of Sylvain’s breath against his ear. “What do you want?” Felix asks, trying to snap at him but too tired —  _ or too happy,  _ some part whispers — to summon the energy. 

“Just seeing it up close. It looks really cool. All that practice paid off, huh?” Sylvain reaches down with his free hand, fingers slipping over Felix’s as he holds the medal up. “Proud of you, Fe. You looked great out there.” 

Felix snorts so hard he almost hits Sylvain in the nose. “Yeah, nothing hotter than a fully-covered guy whacking another guy with a flimsy sword.”

“It’s hot when it’s you,” Sylvain teases. Felix glares at him so hard that Sylvain actually sits up and puts some space between them. “What?” 

“You’re infuriating sometimes. You know that, right?” Felix hopes that he doesn’t look as flustered as he feels, but he doesn’t have high hopes. Despite years and years of effort, his face has always been a clear window without a single brick in sight. At least, that’s how he feels. People still seem to never quite understand, but Sylvain…

“I wasn’t lying,” Sylvain replies. “I meant it. You looked really good out there. Mercedes took some videos — I’ll ask her for them.” 

“I fucked up my technique in the semis,” Felix grumbled, trying to throw the conversation off.

“Not what I was talking about, but whatever you think.” Sylvain lounges against the couch. His shirt is tight across his chest. Felix hates him sometimes, but never the same way he used to hate Dimitri or that he sometimes hates his father.

No, it’s much more complicated than that. 

“Do you think that anyone else in the guild will start dating?” Sylvain asks. Felix raises an eyebrow. “Well, Dimitri and Dedue are dating. Mercedes and Annette seem close, but they’re both way too busy. Byleth doesn’t seem interested in anyone.” 

“I don’t care.”

Sylvain ignores him, his eyes wandering around the ceiling. “Ingrid and Ashe would be cute, but something tells me that Ashe wouldn’t be too interested.” He looks at Felix once more, and Felix experiences the same emotions of a deer on a road at night with a truck bearing down at him. “What do you think?”

Felix licks his lips. “Don’t care. I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” He doesn’t move. 

“One last question, then you can sleep.” Something softens in Sylvain’s expression. “You probably need it.”

“Don’t baby me. It’s not a good look and it isn’t appreciated.”

“Fine.” Sylvain swallows. “What about us, Felix?” 

_ Oh no. _

“What about us?” 

“Who would you date, if you had to date someone in the guild?” 

_ Fuck you, Gautier, _ Felix thinks. 

“I don’t know.”

“Think about it.” 

“Why? Who would you date?”

“You know the answer to that.”

Felix feels white noise between his ears. “I don’t.” 

Sylvain sits up again. They’re so close. Felix wants to push him away before they can make any mistakes. Before he can make any mistakes. 

“You know, you and Ingrid would be a terrible couple,” Felix says, the words feeling bitter in his own mouth. “Or is it Ashe? You better not break his heart. He’s too innocent.”

“What about you?” Sylvain’s words are barely audible over the way Felix’s heart pounds in his chest. “Would you call yourself innocent?” 

“What are you playing at, Sylvain?” 

“You know what I’m saying. I’m asking — do you—” Sylvain laughs, but it isn’t cruel. It’s nervous. He runs a hand through his perfectly coiffed hair. “Do you remember the promise we made when we were kids? How would you feel about — about making that real?” 

“You sound like you’re asking me to marry you.” Felix struggles to keep his voice flat. Sylvain chuckles, half-choked off and hesitant. “Say what’s on your mind before I get tired of this dance.”

“I want you to stay in my life, Felix. But — more than friends. More like — like together. A couple.”

The words hang between them. Felix isn’t sure if they’re a noose or a pair of wings. He’s scared either way. 

“Is this why you told me you’re bi?” Felix asks. Sylvain winces. 

“I — I mean, it’s not just you. But it’s mostly you. Well — it’s always been you.” He makes no sense, but Felix also knows exactly what he’s trying to say. The two of them have always been good at understanding the other, but Felix also can’t help but feel like there’s more that he’s missing. Something deeper that Sylvain isn’t showing.

Felix hesitates.

“I know, it’s — it’s probably not what you want. I don’t have much to offer you. But I don’t want to keep dancing around how I feel.” Sylvain reaches out and caresses Felix’s face. His fingers are deceptively soft. Felix shivers. “If Dimitri, of all people, can find happiness, then why can’t we?”

“I’m nothing like him,” Felix says. He’s not sure if he means it in a good way or not. “Nothing like him.” 

“You’re better,” Sylvain agrees. “What do you think? The two of us, together — just like when we were kids.”

“I thought you thought I was annoying as a kid,” Felix jokes weakly. Sylvain shrugs, but his eyes don’t leave Felix’s face. 

“When you’re a kid, sometimes all a guy knows is how to tug pigtails.” 

Felix wants to make fun of Sylvain, call him an idiot, but all he can say—

“You’re insufferable.”

“You said that already.” 

“I meant it.”

“So?” Sylvain has the audacity to smirk. “Will you be insufferable with me?” 

“I—” Felix blinks. Now he can’t avoid the question. He can hardly run away when he shares a room with Sylvain. He can’t pretend to misunderstand. He can’t parry this blow, can’t counterattack without being cruel. 

Sylvain’s so patient even as he takes Felix’s hands in his own. “Just say you do,” he murmurs. 

“But—”

“Just say you do.”

“You’ll hate me—”

“Never.” Sylvain smiles. “Haven’t all these years. Why would that change?” 

“I — I don’t know,” Felix admits, and why does he feel so weak even though he’s barely said anything at all?

“Trust me. I would never hurt you.” And it’s really that simple, isn’t it?

Felix leans forward, stopping at the last moment. “Are you sure?” He asks.

  
“Yes.”

Felix kisses Sylvain. There’s still a bit of salt from the popcorn they were eating, Felix’s lips are chapped all to hell, but it’s good. It’s really good. Sylvain tilts his head just a bit, sliding their lips together even better. It’s nothing scandalous, nothing that the poets would ever write about, but Felix can’t help but think that this is what every other kiss was missing. 

That night, they fall asleep in each other’s arms, close and content and comfortable. 

#

“Are you sure you are comfortable?” Dedue checks one last time. Dimitri can’t help but laugh even as his partner slides into the bed alongside him. The hotel bed is large enough for the two to lay side by side, but instead they are a mass of combined limbs and close touches. They face one another so their breaths mingle. Dimitri has his eyepatch off but Dedue doesn’t treat the injury any different than the rest of Dimitri’s scars — they are marks on his body and Dedue loves Dimitri’s body. 

Dimitri isn’t quite sure why, but he trusts that Dedue would never lie to him so he is happy to let Dedue think what he wishes. 

“Are you comfortable?” Dimitri flips on Dedue even as his hands trail up and down Dedue’s sides. “You took an extra pill at dinner.”

“It is nothing,” Dedue tries to brush off. Dimitri frowns at him. He doesn’t even have to say anything for Dedue to sigh and continue. “It is merely — sometimes my pain acts up. You know that. I am certain that tomorrow will be fine.” 

“Okay.” Dimitri kisses him. “But please, do not push yourself too hard? I am sure the others will understand if you need to take a break at some point.”

“And miss out on cooking with Ashe and the others? I think not.” But Dedue nods anyways. He wraps his arms around Dimitri, but neither is fully enclosed around the other. Rather, they form a cocoon together, equally protecting and protective all at once. “This was a good idea. It was very nice to see the others — and we still have another day.”

Dimitri hums in agreement. Now that he is in bed and the lights are off, he can feel the surprising but gentle tug of sleep. He can count the number of nights where he has fallen asleep so easily. They have gone up drastically ever since Dedue — his rock, his strength, his shield, his  _ soulmate _ — has taken to sharing a bed with him. 

Still, not everything has been solved. Dimitri is very good at ignoring the things he knows are not real, but sometimes it can be harder. He doesn’t think anyone noticed him looking around at the diner for the source of the strange music, but at one point Mercedes had to say his name multiple times before he noticed her. Perhaps the same was common for others, but for Dimitri everything feels so much worse when he makes the mistake. 

“I am proud of you for travelling. I know it can be hard for you.” Dedue kisses the top of Dimitri’s head. Dedue’s body wash smells like cinnamon with a hint of something fruity. Dimitri used to love cinnamon treats. He can’t taste them anymore, but that’s okay. Dedue makes him like food a little more. 

“You did all the hard work, my love,” Dimitri replies. Indeed, Dedue had driven the whole way, Dimitri staring out the window and trying to calm his anxiety. “I am sorry that we cannot fly.” It wasn’t recommended what with Dimitri’s issues with breathing on the ground. 

A pressurized cabin could be safe, or it could cause him to fall into shock and die. Not quite worth the risk when a car trip was just as accessible.

“I find any time with you is time well-spent.” A moment. “We’ve known each other for seven years now.” 

_ Oh. _

Dimitri had always known, intellectually, that he and Dedue’s first meeting was around the same time as the tragedy. But to hear it said aloud…

“Technically, it’s not for another few days,” Dimitri attempts to joke. “Are you sick of me yet?”

Dedue’s arms tighten, as if he could hug Dimitri’s insecurities away. “Never. I treasure each day with you. Each minute.” 

“And I treasure each minute with you.” Dimitri swallows. “I… I think this is the best I’ve ever spent the anniversary. You know, I only saw them a bit.”

  
“Oh? I thought you didn’t see them at all until the diner.”

Well, that tells Dimitri how observant he is, apparently. “My father was here in the morning. Glenn was at the competition. But the diner, I only heard strange music.” he can’t help but chuckle. “I would like to think that Glenn just wanted to see his brother compete. I’m sure that he would be proud.”

Dedue makes a vague noise of affirmation. There’s a brief pause before he says, “I hope you know that I do not expect you to ever be… return to who you were before. That is not the man I know. I love you for who you are. There is no need to hide when you are in distress.”

Dimitri kisses Dedue’s cheek. “Thank you, my love, but I wasn’t hiding it. They’re sometimes controllable. Or, rather, less intense. Your company helps. I can remember what’s real and what’s not better with you.” He ducks his head. “But you’re right to not hope. This is who I am. For better or worse. Probably for worse.” He smiles ruefully.

“Dimitri?”

“Yes, Dedue?”

“I love  _ you _ . Every part.” 

Dimitri thinks about how Dedue has always been there for him. He thinks about how Dedue tries to hide his own pains, his own concerns. How Dedue experienced a loss even more severe than Dimitri, only to get no support for many years. 

“And I love every part of you, Dedue.” Dimitri clears his throat. “You know, there are far more Duscur immigrants in Fhirdiad. I am certain that we can find some spices from your home and cook something that none of the others have tried before.” Dimitri can feel Dedue smile, though he doesn’t look. 

“I think that Ashe and I will be doing the cooking, but if you wish to help, you can cut some of the vegetables.”

“I would be honored,” Dimitri replies. They both laugh. Dimitri falls asleep with the sound echoing in his head.

He doesn’t dream that night.

#

Byleth writes the email once they get home. 

_ Dear Seiros, _

_ I have been thinking a great deal about your offer. The ability to put my father’s personality, to preserve his memory — it is an offer that I never could have dreamt myself. In fact, there is so much that I never could have imagined but has happened over the last few months. Somehow, what started as an attempt to learn more about my father has become something even greater. _

_ Fire Emblem is a game about saving the world. There are good guys and bad guys and it’s very easy to know who you should support. The real world is rarely so simple. The world is not made up of heroes and villains. As a child, I had trouble realizing this. But I have seen, as I have grown, people make good choices for bad reasons and I have seen people make bad choices for good reasons. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I didn’t understand that for the longest time. _

_ Losing my father is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. I will never stop thinking of him. I do not know if I will ever stop mourning him. You understand, as you mourn the death of your mother. But, as a friend recently told me, I cannot allow myself to dwell. That would not be fair to the people I have met, that would not be fair to my future, and that would not be fair to my father. That does not take away from my grief, but something I have become acutely aware of is how people are capable of so much. The dying can enjoy life, the sad can experience joy. I can miss my father and still look forward to my future and my life. _

_ You must know what I am going to say. I do not want Jeralt in Fire Emblem. The game is about your connections, about a place where it doesn’t matter how you were born or who you were or even who you are. In a digital world, you connect with people because they are people. That intangible essence of personality — that and a little bit of luck help form friendships. As a child, I never had friends. I was odd. Different. That didn’t matter when I started to play Fire Emblem. No one even noticed. _

_ I’ve spent a long time trying to understand why my father would go to such lengths to design a character that I may never have learned about, let alone play. I thought, for the longest time, that he wanted me to connect with the past. Surely there were answers about him or my childhood, something to make his death less devastating. What I have realized is that Fire Emblem doesn’t connect to my past, at least that was not my father’s intentions. No, it is a way for me to bond with the present. _

_ I think that is what his intentions were, all those years ago when he stopped you from completing your mother’s AI. Jeralt was always thinking about the moment. We didn’t talk about the past and we had no need to plan for the future. Why would that change with his death? _

_ I do not think you are a bad person. I do not think that Cichol is a bad person. But what you are doing is wrong. The dead wouldn’t want us to miss them so much that one can no longer think of ourselves. _

_ In a letter, my father told me to shine bright. I did not understand what he meant by that. But thanks to him and your game, the game your mother wanted all that time ago, I have made friends. I find myself with a reason to smile. Happiness, something that has eluded me for so long, is no longer a stranger. I think I’ve found my brightness. What is yours? _

_ Respectfully, _

_ Byleth Eisner _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you have a LOT to say, but I'm going to take a quick moment and just share a bit.
> 
> I started this fic last year on a whim. I finished a Chinese romcom called Love O2O which was about a girl who played an MMORPG and found herself with a crush on another player. I had just finished my BL run and I've always wanted to write an MMORPG fic, so All The King's Men was born. It was supposed to be a comedy -- the twist about Jeralt didn't occur to me until I was literally typing that section.
> 
> I figured a few people would read it, I'd maybe get a few comments, but it would die a quiet death and I'd never have to finish it. Almost 100k and 10k+ hits later, that's clearly not the case. 
> 
> Normally I'd go on about the people who helped me through this, but I've already expressed my love for them and will continue to do so. 
> 
> I want to take this time to instead thank you. Yes, you, the reader who's never left a comment. The reader who's left a comment on every chapter. The reader who kudos - or not. The reader who shared this with a friend or read on your lunch break. The reader who's never played an MMORPG or the one who's been playing video games since before you could read. 
> 
> Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> Now, to quote one of my idols, thank you for tuning in and don't forget to love each other. 
> 
> \- Elliot  
"scatteringmyashes"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it, folks! 
> 
> Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your support. I'll certainly add more to this universe, so keep on eye out for more. 
> 
> Enjoy the last chapter of All The King's Men.

_ Patch 4.9 _

_Hello, heroes!_

_Thank you very much for your patience over the last week. The hotfix for patch 4.8 ended up being a bit too hot, as you all saw, and we appreciate the patience as everything was all fixed up. We have fully isolated any of the issues and we do not expect there to be any more problems with the game. _

_This patch is fairly simple. You can read the full notes below, but the general gist is: balance changes! Balance changes! Balance changes! _

_As always, don't hesitate to reach out to one of the mods or support team with any questions._

_— Sunshineknight _

_QUEST UPDATE — FIGHT OF THE PROGENITOR GOD_

_We've heard concerns over the third quest in the single player questline. A few adjustments have been made to final boss damage so that it’s less burst, more drawn out. Additionally, a few tweaks were made to the mobs to make them a little less annoying._

_Still, we don’t want it to be too easy, so there’s a few buffs. Overall, it should be a challenging but satisfying quest. _

_CORNELIA  
Overall Damage <s>5%/10%/15%</s> of your total health —> 3%/8%/12% of your total health  
Miasma Spell Damage <s>3500/4200/5000</s> base dark magic damage —> 3250/4100/4850 base dark magic damage_

_One of the things that's most annoying about Cornelia is how her damage seems to circumvent your armor and magic resist — partially because of how dark magic operates in the game and partially because of her damage adjustment percentage. Hopefully these changes make her less bursty and gives tanks, who historically haven't done well against mage bosses, more of a fighting chance. _

_CULTIST MOBS  
Total Health <s>1800/2200/3000 </s>—> Total Health 1600/2000/2700  
Total Armor <s>5/10/16 </s>—> Total Armor 4/8/14  
Fire Spell Damage <s>1,200/1,500/2,000</s> —> 1,300/1,600/2,200_

_We've all seen the videos of the mobs in this quest piling up and hitting much harder than intended. These shifts should make them less of a threat and more of the trash they were intended to be. _

_ITEM UPDATE_

_With the release of a few newer magic items, we’ve seen some items that were supposed to be stronger are… not. So these adjustments should help with that! Power creep, anyone?_

_Now, we aren’t rolling out any changes yet, but we do want to reassure everyone that we are watching the magic balance and expect there to be a few adjustments made in the next few patches. We see your cries about dark magic and we will answer soon. _

_SILVER LANCE  
Hit <s>80% </s>—> 85%  
Might <s>12</s> —> 13_

_SILVER AXE  
Might <s>15</s> —> 16  
Weight <s>12</s> —> 11_

_SWORD OF ZOLTAN  
Might <s>13</s> —> 14  
Critical Chance <s>5%</s> —> 8%  
Uses <s>30</s> —> 35_

_LEVEL CAP_

_We are adjusting the level cap to 90, leaving us just 10 more before the new 100 cap. Right now, the main differences are in skill levels and the bonuses that get taken into account. As we’ve done in the past, the exact changes will be released in separate updates per each class. Effective immediately, however, all players are able to reach level 90._

_Fun facts, currently eight players are at level 85. Three of these players are members of the same guild. We’ll let you figure it out._

_Level Cap <s>85</s> —> 90_

_TUTORIAL CHANGES_

_In our ongoing lore developments, we are saying a fond goodbye to the previous tutorial. Jeralt, our favorite mercenary captain, will no longer introduce new players to the world of Fire Emblem. Now, when you first log on, you will be welcomed by the Gatekeeper — he’ll also offer a new variety of quests. _

_Even if you’re an experienced player, we encourage to talk to him and see if he has anything to report! _

_[Read More]_

#

Byleth closes Eris as the last of the Blue Lions log off for the night. Patch day is a tried and true tradition, but classes start early in the morning and they are a professor — they should act like it. They do. Usually. 

With the noise of the chat gone, it's almost silent in the apartment, but Byleth has stopped thinking of it as eerie and now considers in familiar. They may still strain to hear the sound of heavy footsteps or the soft adjustments of books on a bookshelf, but they aren't surprised when nothing is there. 

They stand and then push their chair back in place. They hesitate before going to the hallway, pausing as they head towards their room. It's dark and they can only see with the light of their phone screen. Their hands runs along the wall as they flip a switch. Byleth blinks rapidly as the light temporarily blinds them. 

Jeralt's door waits at the end of the hall. They stare at it and it, for once, doesn't stare back. It just sits there, slight dust piled on the floor — they really should vacuum more often. 

The sound of their footsteps are muffled by their socks as they walk over and plate their hand on the doorknob. There's no resistance as they turn it and then push the door open. 

Byleth isn't sure what they were expecting, but somehow it's a bit of a disappointment when the room is the same as they remember. There's still a stack of books on the bedside table. The sheets are still rumpled. There's a pair of shoes tossed to one side, a jacket slung over a chair, and the desk is covered in dust. 

Towards the end, Jeralt wasn't doing much other than sitting in bed. 

It's quiet. Byleth can still smell his aftershave. It's faint, but still present. 

They back out of the room, closing the door behind them. 

#

_NINE MONTHS LATER_

"You're going to make us late!" Felix snaps, even though he's adjusting his tie in his reflection in the television. The hotel room is spacious, but that means nothing when their luggage is, quite literally, strewn everywhere. 

Sylvain sticks his head out of the bathroom, a few curls of steam wafting past him. "I think that looking nice is important today! Let me be Syl-_vain_." He goes back to infuriatingly placing hair wax in each strand, as if this isn't what he does each morning even when there isn't a wedding. 

Felix is about to go and strangle him with a hand towel — lovingly, but it is his fault that they're now running late because someone wanted to cuddle this morning — when there's a knock on the door. 

"Hey, we're going to head over now. Are you two ready yet?" It's Ashe. Felix marches over to the door but Sylvain is closer and has no shame, opening the door with his shirt still unbuttoned and a grin on his face. Ashe goes bright red. Felix can't blame him. "Um I — I take that as a _no_," Ashe stutters. 

"Almost. Give us five?" Sylvain asks.

"Shouldn't you be with the groom?" Felix wonders, raising an eyebrow. Ashe shakes his head. 

"They aren't going until the last moment and they aren't doing the whole 'separate the night before' tradition." Ashe actually does air quotes, but his expression is fond. Felix, who hasn't expressed fondness since he was six, rolls his eyes. Unfortunately, Ashe sees. "I think it's cute! They're—" 

"Codependent, yes, we get it." Felix adjusts his cufflinks. "Sylvain, hurry up before I leave you here." 

"Aw, you wouldn't do that." Sylvain, who had ducked back into the bathroom, comes back out, his shirt thankfully mostly buttoned. Felix glares at him but doesn't protest when Sylvain kisses him on the cheek. "I'm almost ready. Go head down with the others. Don't want to keep Ingrid waiting," Sylvain jokes. 

Felix sighs but nods to Ashe. He makes sure that he has his wallet, phone, and keys before following Ashe to the elevator. The hotel is nice enough that they aren't the only people dressed to the nines — though admittedly, they're not overly formal. The dress code had been semi-formal, with an emphasis on the colors blue, silver, and gold. Felix was probably going to be a bit overdressed, but dammit if he got invited to a wedding and didn't at least wear a jacket with cufflinks. They were little swords and they had been a coming out gift from Dimitri, surprisingly. 

It seemed fitting that Felix wear them to Dimitri's wedding. 

In the lobby, the rest of the group minus the two grooms and Sylvain wait. Annette is in a pastel blue dress that ends at the knees with a gold sash around her waist. Her pumps make her as tall as Felix, which he kind of hates, but he still pats her back when she hugs him.

"We saw each other yesterday," he complains, but his heart isn't really in it. Mercedes laughs at his suffering, because she's secretly evil — at least, that's Felix's running theory as to why she's so patient. Mercedes is in what Felix thinks is a sundress, but she has a shawl around her shoulders and white leggings that disappear in ankle boots. 

Ingrid is, of the three women, the only one in a suit. It's dark blue, though her glittering gold earrings catch the lobby right when she moves. Felix is confused by the design before realizing that they're Duscur in design. He doesn't say anything, but he wonders if Dedue knows. 

"Where's Sylvain?" Ingrid asks. 

"Catching up," Felix says. 

"Hm." Byleth gives him a nod. They're in a black skirt with navy tights, a grey button-up and black jacket as their top. Their hair matches their tights. Felix almost asks which came first, but then the van pulls up and Ingrid is ushering everyone inside. Apparently they are not waiting for Sylvain, but the lucky bastard exits the elevator before Felix can protest — he's a bit of an asshole, but he's not going to do that to Sylvain this early in the morning. 

Everyone safely packed in the van, they head off to the Itha botanical garden. No one wants to be late for Dimitri and Dedue's wedding, after all. 

#

He's never been more excited for anything in his life, but Dimitri still thinks he's going to throw up from stress and nerves before he even exits the limo that he insisted they take to the garden. It was little consequence to get everything planned — the gardens host events like this all the time and once Rodrigue offered to bankroll the entire event as his gift, they really didn't have any boundaries. 

Still, neither Dedue nor Dimitri have any love for large events and they can both count their friends on one hand — and most of those people are the same. Besides the Blue Lions, Dedue invited a few of the people from the elderly home. 

The ceremony is a blend of Faerghus traditions and Duscur ones, with the actual blessings being passed down by a priest — Imam Farhad — from the temple Dedue started frequenting last year. They walk down the aisle together, past the wooden chairs decorated with the striped blue-gold ribbons, arm in arm. Ingrid is Dimitri's person of honor and Ashe is Dedue's but, honestly, Dimitri can't see much past the tears of happiness that keep bursting from him. 

His handkerchief was supposed to be decorative, but he's bawling into it by the time he and Dedue meet at the altar. There's a white lace canopy above their heads and the Imam is dressed in beautiful silk robes with elaborate embroidery that Dimitri can't hope to follow, even if he had both eyes. Then again, his eye is only for Dedue.

It's odd. Dedue is tall, muscular, and Dimitri knows that many have described Dedue's neutral face as frightening, but Dimitri has never been scared of Dedue. In fact, in the evening light, Dedue is shining like a god. 

Dedue has been growing his hair and it's long enough to be braided back in two braids with gold and silver ribbon threaded through. They match his earrings, both the large ones which are gold and the smaller studs above them that are silver. He smiles bright and Dimitri can't breathe — and for a terrible moment he thinks it's his lungs before he realizes that this is just the all encompassing love that he feels for Dedue. 

His suit is an ombre, going from dark as midnight to vibrant orange and red on the edges, almost mimicking a sunrise. There's a similarly dyed scarf wrapped around his neck that dangles loosely as he bends down to let the Imam draw the traditional runes on his cheeks. Dimitri can barely take his eyes off Dedue in order to receive the same treatment.

Dimitri knows he's not nearly as handsome in his plain blue suit. He's kept it simple — his hair is pulled out of his face and his eyepatch is new. It's got a fancy gold filigree around the edge and he'll probably never wear it again, but he wants to at least try to be someone Dedue can be proud of. 

He's not doing a great job of it by crying so much that they keep having to pause so Dedue can wipe his face and, at some point, Ashe actually runs off to get tissues from the staff, but no one says anything. Dedue's crying too, but he's at least dignified about it. 

After the blessings of the Duscur gods are channelled, Dimitri takes the wedding ring from Ingrid and holds it out to Dedue. He's got a mic, which he's thankful for because he feels like he can barely speak. His vows are written on some cards that Ingrid slips him, because Dimitri can hardly remember his last name let alone what he's been writing for the last few months. 

"I — I love you," Dimitri says. "I — I know that I'm no poet, so you will have to endure the ramblings of a mad man, but I promise it's short." 

A few people laugh. Dimitri can feel everyone staring at him. His friends, Rodrigue — even the people from Dedue's job. They're all waiting for him to speak, to declare his eternal love for Dedue. It strikes him as funny, really, because he's sworn his love for Dedue to Dedue so much that this public oath is hardly a candle to the blazing inferno of Dimitri's affection. 

"You are the light of my life. You have always been such a strong, steadfast presence. I love your strength, I love your intelligence — I love that you are the master of so many things, that you have so much passion and joy for life. I love the way you never compromise on your beliefs, the fact that you remain proud and confident in the face of so much." Dimitri reaches out to hold Dedue's hand, then hesitates — is it improper? Will people think he's done? But then Dedue takes his hand and all is right with the world. "But I also love you for the softer moments. The way you carefully pinch dough between your fingers. The way you talk to our garden to encourage them to grow. The — the way you hold me at night. The way you tell Ashe and Annette that they shouldn't be afraid of ghosts because not all of them are bad." 

Dedue lets out a laugh. Ashe coughs violently to his side. Annette, who was sniffing, just starts bawling. Felix reaches out, grabs a tissue from the box at Ashe's feet, and hands it to her. 

"I know you better than anyone else," Dimitri continues. His cheeks almost hurt from smiling so much. He keeps blinking so his vision doesn't get too cloudy, not wanting to miss a single moment. "I know you better than I know myself, I think. And I know that — that I can only have — have a s-short time w-with you—" He can't stop, his shoulders shaking with the effort of trying to hold back a fresh wave of tears. 

Dedue abandons all premise of formality and wraps Dimitri in his arms. He smells wonderful. Safe. Like home. He is home. 

It takes a moment, but Dimitri slowly recovers. The poor mic is squished between them and he holds it up, not leaving Dedue's embrace but determined to finish his speech. 

"I may only have a short time with you, but know that I have loved you forever and I will love you forever more." Dimitri manages to slip the ring onto Dedue's finger without dropping it, but it's a near thing. 

Of course, now it is Dedue's turn. 

He clears his throat, holding the mic in one hand and holding Dimitri's hand with the other. Ashe is stuck behind him with a ring box, looking vaguely alarmed that he's supposed to keep holding it. A moment passes with Dedue just looking at Dimitri, long enough that the Imam actually murmurs something in Duscur.

Dedue laughs. “My apologies, I just — I was too distracted by how beautiful you are, my love.”

Dimitri is certain he’s bright red. He can barely stammer out that Dedue is the most handsome of the two of them. 

“I must disagree.” Dedue kisses the top of Dimitri’s head. “But I have more to say. You are my shining sun. You have risen past what anyone could have dreamt. You are intelligent and kind, handsome and loyal, trustworthy and bold. There is no one I trust more. I loved you before I knew what love was.” He takes a deep breath. “While we may have a short time in this lifetime, my very soul knows that we will be together again, as we have before. This is just one fragment, one thread in the tapestry that the gods weave. And in every one of them, I love you. I love you. I love you.” 

It’s short and simple and powerful and so perfectly Dedue — the two of them don’t even wait for the Imam to give his blessings before kissing. Ashe is still holding the box, but he cheers the loudest of all their friends when Dedue dips Dimitri in his arms. One of the folks from the elderly home gives Ashe a run for his money though, and the people from Duscur begin singing a song to the beat of their feet and the clapping of their hands. 

Dimitri feels lightheaded with love as he looks up at Dedue, at his husband. Someone starts throwing rose petals and rice, Sylvain wolf-whistles until Felix elbows him in the side, and the Imam declares their union blessed. The sun shines down on them. It’s perfect. It’s better than perfect. 

It’s everything.

#

Ingrid can’t seem to stop smiling, even though her face hurts. The reception is inside, a banquet hall that the museum probably usually uses to host fundraisers but now taken over by a just over a dozen people celebrating a marriage. Despite her best efforts, she’s not familiar enough with the full Duscur traditions but she can understand the sentiments well enough. 

There’s a simple couch for Dimitri and Dedue to sit, placed upon a raised platform and covered by the same canopy that hung over them during the ceremony. In front of them is a table of spices, foods, a bowl of coins — they all symbolize wealth and prosperity and happiness. She is happy to grate sugar over their heads, though it gets caught in the elaborate lace instead of actually falling on them. Ashe helps her, though he has a bit more trouble getting it above Dedue — even sitting, Dedue’s still about the same height as Ashe. 

Everyone else sits at a cleverly constructed square of tables, though one side is empty so that no one’s back is to Dimitri and Dedue. It means that the Lions can all be together while still talking and getting to know the people Dedue has invited. 

“Try the curry,” a kind woman named Kamya tells Ingrid. She has wrinkles on wrinkles and is missing several teeth, but there’s an energy in her eyes and she speaks like Ingrid’s grandmother, just with an accent — there’s an instinctual _yes, ma’am_ that Ingrid has to repress as she accepts spoonful after spoonful of curry on her plate. 

“What do you teach?” Armad, one of Dedue’s co-workers, asks Byleth. He looks shockingly young, still all limbs and knobby knees, and a bit too small for his suit and scarf. He almost knocks over a salt shaker and his friend, Majid, rolls his eyes. “Sorry! I mean, what is it that you teach, if I may ask?” Armad says with over-the-top formality.

“I am a history teacher.” Byleth has the faintest of smiles on their face, which is the only way Ingrid knows they’re enjoying themself and not actually regretting befriending a bunch of college students. Though, and Ingrid would never say this, she is a bit delighted to see how Byleth keeps ignoring Rodrigue in order to talk to literally anyone else. 

Ingrid starts eating the curry — and it is really good, especially when Kamya shows her how to scoop it up with a bit of pita almost like a chip in dip — and takes a moment to look at the rest of the group. 

Obviously there’s Dimitri and Dedue, looking at one another and kissing one another and completely oblivious to the rest of the room. There could be a fire and they’d probably not even hear an alarm go off. Ingrid still kind of wants to hate Dedue, or at least resent him, as irrational as the thought is. She’s not fifteen and angry at how the world took so much away from her. Dedue is literally the perfect human being for Dimitri and only the most horrible and ignorant person would think anything different.

It’s not even like Ingrid was ever Dimitri’s closest friend — that was Felix. But for such a long time, Ingrid would see Dedue and want to scream about how it should have been one of his friends that protected Dimitri. Now, Ingrid looks at Dedue and is happy that someone so kind is who Dimitri has placed his every chance of happiness with. She knows that Dedue won’t fail. 

Other than the lovebirds, Annette and Ashe are eagerly listening to Reza, a nurse where Dedue works, tell them stories of Duscur. She has such an outfit on that Ingrid doesn’t know the name for — it flows with each hand gesture, sparkles from thousands of tiny gemstones, and is made of a matching skirt and top that leaves her waist exposed. There’s also a veil of some kind that covers most of her hair, though Reza still has a few strands of curly brown visible at her forehead. Next to Reza is Maryam, her wife. 

Seeing them makes Ingrid think about how she should make good on her promise and send Dorothea a few photos of her in her suit. She makes a mental note of it and moves on.

Mercedes sits next to Maryam, talking past Ingrid to speak with Kamya about sweets. Duscur tradition apparently includes these sweet almost doughnut-like balls dipped in some kind of sauce. Ingrid can’t name the flavor, but it’s delicious and she almost ruined her dinner thinking they were some kind of appetizer. 

On the other side of the table, Felix engulfs his meal while also pushing anything vaguely sweet to Sylvain. Rodrigue is immediately opposite to Felix and the two are doing an admirable job of ignoring each other. Majid, who sits next to Felix, is making that extremely difficult because he has eyes, is naturally curious, and doesn’t seem to care that neither Felix nor Rodrigue want to talk to him at the same time. Sylvain leans forward enough to engage Majid in conversation and doesn’t seem to have quite as much a problem with Rodrigue, so at least Majid knows it’s not him — he probably thinks it’s just a Fraldarius thing.

It's totally a Fraldarius thing. 

“Felix has known Dimitri longer than me, though — when did you two meet?” Sylvain asks Felix. Ingrid knows the answer, so it doesn’t matter that she can’t hear Felix’s answer. The Blaiddyd and Fraldarius families are so close that their kids, of course, met as soon as it was feasible. 

“You are fortunate to be such good friends with someone so kind,” Majid says. “Dedue has spoken a great deal about Dimitri, but less so about his other friends. We were starting to worry that he had no others!” 

“Dedue’s the best out of us,” Sylvain replies with surprising honesty. “Well, Ashe is pretty great too. Dimitri’s got to chill, though.”

“I think he will have no problem chilling tonight.” Majid grins. He resembles what Ingrid has always pictured a wrestler would look like — big hands, wide shoulders, and a penance for wide gestures. Then again, it must be a cultural thing — all of Dedue’s friends articulate more with their hands and arms than Ingrid’s probably ever done in her life.

Ingrid startles when Kamya touches her arm, a conspiring gleam in her emerald eyes. 

“You know, he is single.” She gestures to Majid. Ingrid feels her face burn red and thinks of several responses, but what she ends up saying is—

“I’m into girls.” 

Kamya laughs. She points to where Reza is describing the Duscur ocean. Maryam watches her with a dreamy distance in her eyes. “So are they!”

Maryam looks over. “What are you saying? Do I have to drive you back home already?” Maryam gives Mercedes and Ingrid a small smile. “Kamya likes to meddle. She is the biggest gossip of all of them.”

“Never!” Kamya says something in Duscur that makes Armad, who has been grilling Byleth on their knowledge of Duscur history, stop and snort. “What? Respect your elders.” Kamya rolls her eyes and shakes her hand in the air. “On my husband’s grave, you never respect us anymore.”

“I thought you never got married,” Armad complains. 

“She didn’t,” Maryam replies. “Majid, why are you taking your jacket off?” 

Indeed, Majid is halfway through taking his jacket off. He freezes, looking not like a man in his late thirties but instead like a teenager caught sneaking out of his room. Kamya cackles, saying something else in Duscur that makes Majid cough as a deep flush runs across his face. Maryam sighs loudly. 

“That was not my implication,” she says loudly. She looks at Ingrid. “Men and old women — all secretly perverts.” 

Ingrid laughs. It's not the drink — there's actually no alcohol at the party — but the company. It's nice. Really nice. 

#

The dinner trails on, a traditional cake rolled out after most of the food has been eaten. Felix is stuffed from the lamb, beef, and spicy curry with yellow rice so he just slides his slice of cake to Sylvain, who inhales it despite having eaten just as much as Felix. Dimitri and Dedue have finally joined the others at the lower table, still absolutely enraptured with one another but wanting to share the day with their friends. 

Instantly, Majid begins to tease Dedue for being smitten, Kamya tells him off, and Reza starts to grill Majid. Rodrigue is smiling as he asks Dimitri if he's been enjoying himself.

"Yes, thank you." Dimitri looks away from Dedue long enough to politely nod to Rodrigue. "I hope you know how much we appreciate your assistance with the wedding." 

Felix looks at his plate. Majid clears his throat, cutting Kamya off. She makes a gesture at Majid and Felix doesn't have to be from Duscur to know that it's not polite. Armad cackles so hard that he pounds a fist against against the table. 

"Please act your age," Majid says in an exasperated tone. 

"I am!" 

"You're twenty years old, not twelve!" 

"I was born in a leap year." Armad sticks his tongue out. Majid sighs and looks at Dimitri.

"I do not know if Dedue has explained to you, but part of our tradition is to question the intentions of those who marry our brethren. Usually, his siblings and mother would do so." 

"And we agreed it was very unnecessary," Dedue chimes in with equally unnecessary volume. 

Dimitri has stopped crying, Felix notes, and he can actually nod at Majid with something akin to regal dignity. "You may ask me any questions. I hope that my intentions are clear by now." 

Majid grins. "I will keep that in mind. Dedue may not let me stay if I ask you now, but he cannot stop me forever." 

"Felix," Reza says from her side of the table, "I did not see you get cake? Did you not want any?" 

"I don't like sweets," Felix replies with a frown. She nods slowly. 

"You should try — hm, I don't know what it would be called in your language, but it is salted fish that is preserved with a bit of sugar and salt. It is used often as a treat on specific festival days, but many kids think it's too salty." She smiles at Rodrigue. A pit drops in Felix's stomach. "Felix is your…. Son?" 

"Yes. My… only son," Rodrigue says, enunciating each word like he's unfamiliar with the language. Felix reaches for his glass, as if he can get drunk if he has enough water. "Though I have helped care for Dimitri since he was a teenager." 

"I have heard of your kindness. Felix is fortunate to have you as his father." 

Felix coughs. Sylvain pats him on the back, their eyes meeting. It's been _better_ between Felix and Rodrigue, but Felix doesn't think he'll ever consider it good. 

"Rodrigue paid for the wedding," Dimitri says, because he's never had a tactful bone in his body. "It was his gift to us." 

"Oh?" Majid's eyes widen. Rodrigue coughs, a faint blush spreading up his face. Felix hates it because it's the same thing he does when he gets flustered. "That is quite the gift." 

"Of — of course. A-And I will certainly do the same for Felix, when he gets married," Rodrigue replies with an unsubtle glance towards Sylvain.

Felix's brain melts. An alarm blares somewhere. He feels like everyone is looking at him. He — He doesn't really consider marriage an option. He and Sylvain have discussed their future together, sure, but they both agree that marriage is a sham and they don't need a stupid ring or ceremony to prove that they love one another and want to be together. Besides, they haven't even been dating for a year. 

_Of course,_ some part of Felix whispers, has always whispered, _you can still be a man and want to get married._

"I don't believe in marriage," he says as calmly as he can muster, "I think that it’s a system built from ancient ideals of ownership over one person’s body because of how they were born and a way to solidify trade deals and political alliances. It may have religious or even romantic symbolism for people now, but I cannot divide the past from the present so easily.” 

“You are usually the one telling me to stop thinking about the past,” Dimitri points out. If it were not for the fact that this is literally his wedding day, Felix might have picked a fight with him. As it is, he can’t even reply because Mercedes starts giggling.

“I’m sorry,” she says in a tone that doesn’t have a single drop of sympathy, “I just think it’s funny.”

“Why?” Felix snarls through grit teeth. 

“I just remember what you said when we were all at Pride together. You said that you knew Sylvain wouldn’t settle down, then got all embarrassed about it. It’s okay. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to love. It’s perfectly natural to want to spend your life with someone, romantically or not.” Mercedes smiles at him. Felix can feel his face go bright red, or at least more than it already was. 

Sylvain laughs, but it’s uneasy underneath his charm. He wraps an arm around Felix and, for once, Felix doesn’t push him away. Felix has never been one for PDA, but sometimes a guy wants his boyfriend to touch him. And besides, he’s had to watch Dimitri and Dedue be gross all day. Felix is owed this. 

“He’s gonna explode if you keep teasing him,” Sylvain says. “Ashe, what about you and your boyfriends? When are we gonna meet them anyways?” 

Felix feels himself relax ever-so slightly as Ashe turns the color of a stop sign. He shakes his head, unable to speak with his mouth full of cake. 

“I forgot! How are they?” Annette shouts, slamming both her hands on the table in her excitement. “Linhardt and Casper, right?” 

“Caspar,” Ashe corrects. “Um, they’re g-good… I think they want me to visit this winter…"

Annette squeals and that’s all it takes for the focus of the table to shift away from Felix. Thankfully, the rest of the conversation goes smoothly. Ashe and Ingrid both have speeches, they both cry, and Dimitri and Dedue also break into tears. Ingrid talks about how happy she is that Dedue can support Dimitri in a way no one else can and Ashe describes their love as a perfect recipe, complete with actual instructions — his inclusion of _play twelve hours of Fire Emblem in a row, then get a shout-out in the patch notes_ makes the table laugh. 

After the speeches, the DJ starts playing a soft classical song that Felix doesn’t recognize. Everyone circles up and watches Dimitri and Dedue dance together, though it’s really just them swaying back and forth and being ridiculously perfect. Felix feels like he’s in a movie, but Sylvain holds his hand the whole time and it’s a bit more bearable. 

Once the slow dance is complete, Dedue’s co-workers have the DJ put on a drum and stringed instrument track — Felix wants to call it a guitar, but the twang is different and that’s about all he has the musical knowledge to know. Felix has no idea what exactly happens next, but he claps along when Dedue and Dimitri suddenly get surrounded by the four people — Kamya sits in her wheelchair, still clapping but in no condition to do an energetic dance.

There’s a call and response, something Dimitri must have learnt because he answers when the group shouts to him and he takes Dedue’s hands when they tell him to. The Duscur syllables are strange to hear coming from Dimitri’s lips, and Felix can’t help but glance at Rodrigue to see how he’s taking all of this. But the only thing there is happiness and satisfaction, the knowledge that Dimitri finally has the happiness that was denied him for so long. 

The dancing is cute, Felix supposes. He might be smiling. He still refuses to let Sylvain drag him on the dance floor, instead claiming that he needs to use the restroom.

Because Felix has never had an ounce of good luck in his life, Rodrigue is waiting when he leaves. 

Felix could walk past him, but he’s trying this new thing called _communication_ and its close relative, _giving people chances_. So he stands there and crosses his arms and tries not to glare too much at his father.

“What do you want?” He asks. 

“I wanted to say hello.” Rodrigue shifts his weight from one foot to another. “Are you staying in Itha long after the wedding?” 

“Just overnight. Sylvain and I are flying back tomorrow afternoon.” Felix’s jacket is in the banquet hall, which is a shame because the cufflinks really are nice to fidget with. As it is, he’s lowered to just tapping his foot like an impatient middle-aged woman in a coffee shop line. “Are you staying?”

“I suppose there’s no reason if you’re leaving. Dimitri and Dedue depart for their honeymoon tomorrow.” Rodrigue clears his throat. “I wanted to apologize if I made you uncomfortable earlier.” 

Felix wants to tell him that the apology is not accepted, that Rodrigue can shove his wishes to pay for a future wedding up his ass, and go back to the party. Instead, Felix takes a deep breath. 

“Thank you.” It takes more effort than Felix will ever admit, but he drops his arms to his sides and forces himself to look at Rodrigue directly. “You didn’t ask for me to come home during last summer.” 

“I didn’t think you would want to.”

Rodrigue is right — Felix wouldn’t have accepted. He got to go to Pride for the first time, he visited Ingrid with Sylvain, they took a road trip and went to the beach and stayed at a shitty motel and Sylvain probably got food poisoning but— 

Still. 

“Will you come visit this winter?” Rodrigue asks. “It’s your last year of school. I… Humor an old man, maybe, who doesn’t see as much of his son as he would like.” Rodrigue manages a smile. 

Felix swallows. “Is Sylvain invited?” He questions, because it does change his answer.

“He is.” Rodrigue’s expression shifts. “I need to talk to Mr. Gautier about a few things…” He laughs when Felix groans. Felix doesn’t find it funny, but his father just shakes his head. “No, I know you can handle yourself. But a father is always concerned about his children.” 

“Is that why you’re so involved with this wedding?” Felix can’t help but ask, the edge of bitterness tinging his words. It succeeds in shutting Rodrigue up at least. “I’m going back to the party. Don’t talk to me again today.”

He’s halfway down the corridor when Rodrigue calls, “I know you may not believe me, but I always believed that I had room enough for both of you in my heart.”

Rodrigue is right. Felix doesn’t believe him. 

#

Byleth doesn’t really know what they were expecting out of a wedding invitation, They were surprised to get one at all, if they’re being completely honest. Yes, they play a video game with both grooms, but they don’t really feel like they have the same history that Dimitri and Felix have or the same bond that Dedue and Ashe have cultivated. 

Still, when the invitation came, they accepted immediately. They hesitated over wearing a skirt, actually going as far as packing both a skirt and pants, but in the end they didn’t get any strange looks. Dedue’s co-workers are all polite and friendly, though Byleth knows that Armad finds them unnerving. People usually do. 

They have no problem sticking to the dinner table as the others dance. Annette and Mercedes alternate between spinning each other around and just dancing together. Ashe is dancing with Ingrid, though Armad seems to be trying to teach them a Duscur dance. Reza and Maryam dance with Sylvain, who is not giving them his full attention. He probably thinks he’s being slick, glancing around every once in a while, but Byleth can tell he’s looking for Felix. 

Kamya and Dedue are dancing, in that he’s turning her wheelchair around and grinning while she teases him in the Duscur language. Rodrigue must be in the bathroom, Majid is talking with the DJ and Dimitri—

Dimitri sits down at the table next to Byleth, face flush with happiness. 

“Hello,” he says. “I hope everything is okay?” 

Byleth nods. “I do not dance. But you should, if you wish.” 

“I will, don’t worry,” Dimitri replies with a chuckle. “But, as you can probably hear—” He starts coughing. Byleth rubs his back even as they search for where Dimitri’s inhaler might be located. Thankfully, Dimitri draws it out of his pants pocket and takes a few breaths. 

The music plays on. Everyone is enjoying themselves too much to look over at the two of them. Dedue is distracted by whatever Kamya is saying, his face true open happiness for the first time since Byleth has known him. Byleth isn’t very good with expressions, so they decide it must really mean something when they can tell everyone’s emotions today. 

Dimitri leans back in his chair, inhaler in his hand. They sit in silence together, letting the party continue without them. Dedue looks over a few times, but he goes back to celebrating when Dimitri smiles at him. 

Byleth wonders if they’re supposed to say something. Weddings are not a situation they’re used to — in fact, this is the first wedding they’ve ever attended. 

“What happens next?” Byleth asks. That seems like a question that someone would have, right? Planning for the future and all. 

Dimitri shrugs. “Not much changes for us. We already live together. We already know what we want our future to look like. We can’t ever adopt or even get a dog, but I think Dedue wants me to get a pet anyway.” He shrugs, looking awfully nonplussed about discussing his own mortality. Byleth supposes that Dimitri must have to be, since he’s lived with this knowledge for so long. “I might get some rats.”

“I’ve never had any,” Byleth tells him.

“Rats or pets?”

“Both.”

“If you get any, let me know what they’re like.”

Byleth tilts their head. “Rats or pets?” 

Dimitri grins. “Both.”

Byleth thinks this is a joke, so they smile. Dimitri laughs. Byleth feels relief run into their bones and they force themself to smooth out the fabric of their skirt. 

“It’s a very nice wedding,” Byleth tries, feeling like they’re going through a list of pre-prepared conversation topics. In a way, they sort of are — before any new social situation, they like to sit and think about what could come up, what they could say. 

If Dimitri notices their pitiful attempts to keep the conversation going, he doesn’t mention it. “Thank you. It took a great deal of planning. I insisted that we incorporate as much as we could from Duscur. Dedue’s friends have been invaluable, as has Imam Farhad. He had to listen to us ask countless questions. I’m sure that he is sick of us by now. Though at least Kamya has insisted on adopting us into her figurative family. She threatened to cause all sorts of mischief if I don’t visit her frequently. Sometimes I think that she’s only in the home because otherwise she’d take over the world.” Dimitri laughs again. 

He has made a similar sound before while playing _Fire Emblem_ or while the Lions just sit and talk, but Byleth can’t call that laughter anymore. This sound, here in the banquet hall, is laughter. Dimitri throws his head back and his shoulders shake and he closes his eyes as a smile curls his lips up. He clutches his own chest like he’ll fall over if he doesn’t hold himself down. 

It makes Byleth smile for real this time.

“I am happy that you have found so much support,” Byleth tells him. 

“I am as well. And you, of course, have been one of our best friends.” Dimitri’s words catch Byleth off guard. Dimitri chuckles at their expression. “I must have surprised you for you to react so much.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry?” Byleth tries.

“Not at all. I hope that you know that I never want to make you uncomfortable,” Dimitri quickly adds. “I understand that face-to-face interaction can be exhausting. If you want quiet—”

“I enjoy your company,” Byleth interrupts. “You and the others are not as tiring as some people. Well.” Byleth glances at Sylvain, who is teaching Armad how to dance. At least, Byleth thinks it’s dancing. Sylvain is putting his hands out and then folding them across his chest and turning his hips. The collective quartet of women watch this with a mixture of what Byleth thinks is fascination and horror.

The music changes and Sylvain starts dancing along with it, hands moving all over his body. Of course, this is when Felix returns. Byleth sees him walk into the hall and then promptly turn around. They stifle laughter. Dimitri’s the only one close enough to notice.

“What?” He asks.

“Nothing.” Byleth looks back at Armad, who is comically bad at following. He either is doing the motions out of order or out of sync, almost hitting Sylvain several times. In fact…

“I would place money on Armad knowing the Macerana,” Dimitri says. Byleth stares at him.

“I understand all of those words individually,” they reply. 

Dimitri laughs again. “Armad grew up in Itha. He didn’t grow up under a rock. He’s messing with Sylvain. Besides, no one is actually that poor of a dancer.” A moment passes between them. “I might be that bad of a dancer. I think I stepped on Dedue’s toes earlier.”

“None of us noticed,” Byleth reassures him. 

“Thank you.” Another pause before Dimitri clears his throat. Byleth looks at him, but it is only a quick thing. “I wanted to thank you, actually.”

“You just did.”

“I — well, yes, but I wanted to thank you for something else.”

Byleth tilts their head and blinks. Dimitri looks down at his hands, then back at Byleth. His eye is such a bright blue. It doesn’t look like he’s been crying all day, which they know to be objectively false. Between the whole wedding party, they’ve gone through two boxes of tissues and there’s a third that has been opened up. 

“You are a fascinating person. I don’t know whether I should believe in a divine presence or sheer luck, but ever since you joined the Blue Lions… “ Dimitri shrugs. “It seems like you’ve brought us good luck. And not just that, but… you really have helped. I still remember the night where I told you that I am dying.”

“I was surprised that you had not told the others,” Byleth recalls. “I couldn’t see how you hide it.”

“It was a challenge, but I didn’t realize how much it weighed on me until I told them. And even my relationship with Dedue… It may sound crazy to you, Byleth, but you helped me gather the strength to consider a relationship with him.” Dimitri laughs, but this time it is softer. More subdued. Gentle, almost. “You have helped us all in so many ways, Byleth. Do you know that?”

Byleth shakes their head, not trusting themself to speak. There’s a lump in their throat. It takes the sting in their eyes to realize that they’re tearing up. 

“Sorry,” Dimitri says, “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Again, all Byleth can do is shake their head. Their throat is tight and they can feel their hands tremble a bit. Dimitri is blissfully silent as Byleth tries to organize the mush that is their brainwaves. 

It is, perhaps, impolite for Byleth to keep the truth of why they joined _Fire Emblem_ secret from the others. They just don’t see what it would accomplish. More suspicion over a game that they all love seems like a poor solution to anything. Rhea removed Jeralt from the game, Byleth doesn’t talk to her outside of official mod business, and they do their best to never have to get messages from the Cethleann AI. 

They can’t bring themself to block it — her? — so even now, sometimes they’ll log in to a missed message or two. Even when they don’t reply, the AI still does. Byleth wonders if it’s even able to stop. 

Regardless, there is nothing that Byleth can gain from telling them. As it is, they are more than content to just be friends with the others and raid and grind together. 

“I am not upset,” Byleth slowly enunciates. “I am — I am flattered.”

“You are one of the best people I know. I’m honored to know you.” Dimitri frowns. “Can I — Can I ask a strange question?”

Byleth nods.

“Have we helped you at all, Byleth? Maybe not in the grand ways that you have helped us, but… I would hope that our friendship has improved your life too, if even in a small manner.” Dimitri actually sounds uncertain, which makes Byleth chuckle. Dimitri grimaces. "I know, I know, it sounds stupid — youre a professor with your life together and we're just a bunch of wild young adults—" 

"The Blue Lions are the best guild I could have joined. I am happy that we are friends." Byleth looks at the table, at where the mostly-eaten dishes are piled and jackets and purses lay. Where they sat with friends, not thirty minutes ago, and ate food with them and celebrated the marriage of two of them. 

_It's funny,_ they think, _how something so wonderful can come out of something so sad._

"Well, I'm happy that we're friends too," Dimitri replies. He smiles and stands up. "I know that you do not dance, but neither do I. Do you want to not dance together?" 

Byleth watches him stretch out a hand. They smile and take it, letting Dimitri lead them to the dance floor where their friends welcome them. Even Felix and Rodrigue have slunk back in. Everyone is there. 

Byleth is happy. 

# 

The hospital room is dimly lit and smells faintly of rose air spray, something Cichol is unfortunately very familiar with by this point. He adjusts the light so that it is bright enough for him to see, but still dark enough that none of the nurses will come chide him at this late hour. Not that they would, but they don't usually like when family members stay overnight — it's not healthy for them. 

Still, sometimes Cichol finds himself tossing and turning and he knows the only solution is to visit his daughter. The night secretary is familiar with him, asks how he is sometimes. His answers are usually monosyllabic.

Cethleann looks young for her age. A consequence of her condition, she will never grow as tall or as strong as other children. She is in the best care possible, but people are not meant to sleep for this long. 

Her hospital gown is a mint green, one that reminds Cichol of her eyes. He tries to remember as much as he can about her — what her laughter sounds like, how she reacts when she has to go to bed, what her favorite food is. Sometimes he'll watch her favorite movie on his laptop, hoping that she can hear him and wakes up. 

The hospital staff pity him, he thinks, but that's all right. Better their pity than their sympathy. 

Tonight, however, he brings a simple gift. He places the bag on her bedside table, the smell of the fish cake wafting through the room. He doesn't go fishing anymore. He never was very good at it, but it was the only way to get Cethleann to sit still for hours. He still has the equipment, it's just far too old to be any good. It just feels like bad luck to throw it away. 

"Hello, Cethleann," Cichol murmurs. He brushes some hair out of her face. The nurses are kind to decorate her hair with cute barrettes and to keep her a Sleeping Beauty. 

Cichol knows how busy they are, but they have a soft spot for the girl who has been there for so long and her poor father who lost his wife just the year prior to losing his daughter. It means more than he can express, but he tries. 

"I hope you are sleeping well," he says, holding her hand. She's still warm. Her heart monitor beeps consistently, steadily. She should be awake. The doctors don't know why she isn't awake. "It has been quiet at work, ever since things got resolved. I know I told you about Byleth. They convinced Seiros to remove Jeralt from the game. I'm surprised she listened, but I think… I think it is for the best." 

As far as Cichol knows, any progress on adding Sothis to the game has also been halted. At least, he hasn't been asked for his opinion on anything recently. Then again, he's supposed to be an HR manager now. Code, beyond that for the AI he helped design, is no longer his domain. Admittedly, he was never a natural at it like Seiros or Jeralt. Cichol could hold his own, but it was inevitable that he began duties elsewhere. 

He doesn't mind too terribly. He still gets to contribute to the game and he feels involved in the organization in a way he never was before, back at the Nabatean Company. Maybe if he had been, he could have stopped what happened, but Cichol has long since learnt that dwelling in what could have been is a dark spiral from which it is almost impossible to recover. 

Sometimes, life doesn't work the way one wishes. He's had to live with that for many years.

"I love you very much," Cichol says. "You are the most precious little fish. I pray for your health every day. I dream of when you will return to me." A moment passes as he considers his next words. Maybe it's pointless and she cannot hear him, but maybe she can and so he must try. "I know that your mother would miss you as well. Is that where you are? Can you speak with her? Does she told on to you even now? Maybe it is cruel, then, for me to ask you to leave her, but… I miss you as well, Cethleann." 

He sighs and leans back in his chair. He closes his eyes and rubs at them. What time is it, even? He had barely looked at the clock when he left his apartment. Pulling his phone out, he's somehow shocked and entirely unsurprised to see that it's two in the morning. The hospital where Cethleann stays is still in the city, but certainly not anywhere that could be called central. It'll take him at least an hour to go back to his apartment, not to mention getting ready for work and going into the office… 

Cichol sends a text to Seiros.

_Taking the day. _

Then, when he realizes that tomorrow is the weekend: 

_Will see you next week._

He has hardly locked his phone when he gets a reply, a simple, _That is okay._

Cichol sighs and shakes his head. His phone goes back in his pocket. He has known for a while that he is not the only person haunted by people from the past. Then again, maybe he should count himself lucky. Is a faint hope better than none, or is it more cruel? 

He is no philosopher. He doesn't like to think of things greater than him, not when it's so pointless. Either Cethleann will wake one day or she will not. Cichol will have to live with that. 

"Do remember the program I wrote for you?" Cichol asks. "The one that has been playing Fire Emblem for you. It… it is very different from what it was supposed to be. I've been working on it for years. Countless hours spent developing each line of code, making sure that it mimics not just a person but — but mimics who you are." He frowns. "Who you were." 

There's no response. He doesn't know why he expects one. Cethleann hasn't replied in years. 

"I… I have been thinking a lot about the AI. About artificial intelligence as a whole, beyond my application of it but what it means for the world. It… It's odd. I don't know if the person you are is really the person in my head anymore because of this program. It's all I've talked to for so long. It treats me like a father, like a friend, because it knows no better. And even though I know it isn't real, it still… it still feels me enough that I miss you a little less." 

Hot tears start to bead at his eyes and he reaches out for Cethleann's hand once more. Suddenly, she feels cold. 

"Perhaps I have failed as a father, but I was so desperate to have some part of you back that I've spent years and years in this carefully constructed verisimilitude of you. And I know that it's wrong, that I need to accept that you may never return to me, but I — It's so hard, Cethleann. I can't just abandon my daughter. But I know that I can't hold onto you forever." He takes a deep breath. "I turned it off. The program. I'm never turning it back on. I — I know that it wasn't real. I know that it didn't have a soul. I know that it was never you. So why do I feel like I'm abandoning you?" 

The only sound is the sound of the heart monitor beeping and the air conditioner slowly humming. Cichol can hear the oxygen being pumped into Cethleann's lungs. Her chest rises and falls, but through little action of her own. Cichol swallows past the lump in his throat. 

"I will wait for you, Cethleann. Not a fake. Not an imitation. You." He blinks. Tears are starting to stain the sheets, dripping down his face and on the covers of Cethleann's bed as he leans over. "But I know that I cannot wait forever. I just — a little bit more, okay? Dad isn't going anywhere, my little fish." 

He sits back in his chair, covering his face with his hands. The machines beep and whirl and hum. And softly, amidst the beeping and whirring and humming, two bright eyes slowly blink open. 

"F… Father?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to love each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr [here](http://disasterfelixfraldarius.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ashes8012)! 
> 
> If you liked this fic, there's bonus content on my Twitter that you can check out or feel free to read any of the side stories in the series. I appreciate the support!


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